Caught (Men of the Show Book 3) (13 page)

“I course I don’t want to,” she said as she averted her eyes down. “I just have no idea how.”

“We do whatever we can. That’s all. But it will only work if we both want it to work. If we both want to try.”

Shannon took in a deep breath and seemed to deflate. “No matter what I say, I’m the bad guy in this. If I say no, it sounds like I don’t want to try, when that’s not true. If I say yes, then it’s like I’m giving up on my dreams and myself. Either way, I can’t see a way to make this work.”

“If you want this, then we’ll find a way. You don’t have to give up anything. Thankfully, my job gives me enough money to do what I want and I’ll fly out here whenever I can. If you don’t want to go to Arizona now, then I’ll go and come back here after Christmas.”

She glanced up in surprise. “You’d do that?”

“Of course I would.”
 
Matt cupped the back of her neck. “I feel that strongly about this that I’m willing to do anything. Anything, Shannon.”

*
 
*
 
*

Shannon let Matt pull her into his arms because she loved their strength and warmth as they cradled and sheltered her. She’d known each time she continued to see him that breaking away at the end became that much harder. Even now, she swayed toward him and all he promised. She longed for two very different things—she wanted her career, she wanted to make partner and she wanted to be successful, but she also wanted this man in her life more than she’d ever wanted anyone. To have one meant she couldn’t have the other—not completely at least—yet she couldn’t turn away on either. She had to pick one, but she wasn’t ready to do that yet.

She pulled back and Matt studied her with wary eyes, waiting on her decision. “Have you taken anyone down to meet your family before?”
 

Alarm replaced the wariness before clearing. He hesitated before he simply sighed. “No.”

“No?”
 

“No, I’ve never taken anyone home to meet them. The last girl they met was a girl I was serious about in college.”

“Matt,” Shannon said with a huff. “Don’t you think they’ll wonder about us?
 
Make some assumptions?”

“Don’t worry about them. I’ll handle them, I promise. They won’t make things uncomfortable.”

Shannon took a deep breath and even though her brain still struggled to puzzle out the right answer, her heart knew before anything else. She wanted to go to Arizona with him and she wanted more time with him, and foolishly enough, she was quite possibly falling for him. Maybe they could somehow get the impossible to work, although she had no idea how.
 

“Okay,” she finally said and didn’t miss his huge grin.

“Seriously?”
 

“Yes, seriously.”

Matt yanked her into his lap and covered her mouth with his. When he finally broke away, he was still grinning at her. “I know you’re worried, but we’ll figure it out. Everything will work out.”

Shannon nodded and gave him a small smile, but it fell short. She tried to swallow past the tight lump in her throat, worried she’d just given up all of her dreams. But at the moment, she couldn’t find the will to care. She didn’t want to give him up. Not anytime soon, maybe not ever.

Chapter 11

As the plane started its descent into the desert, the dormant butterflies in Shannon’s stomach awakened and took flight. She’d manage not to fret the entire trip, but now the nerves were unavoidable. Why she’d agreed to visit during Christmas was beyond her. The timing in itself presented unrealistic expectations of her, as well as incorrect assumptions about her and Matt, especially with his family, but here she was. Why?
 
She had no idea. Really, she had no clue. For someone who insisted her career was the top priority of her life, her actions lately indicated the direct opposite. Reality was, despite their agreement to try, a successful relationship between her and Matt was unattainable—he wasn’t going to stop playing baseball or ask for a trade from Detroit to Chicago, and she wasn’t going to quit her job…if she still had one after this trip.

Her approved request for time off hadn’t come without discussion, despite it being over the Christmas holiday when many of their clients were off too. Carol commented that for a junior associate, Shannon sure spent a lot of time away from the office. Shannon assured Carol she would continue to bill hours despite being away, but she’d heeded the message loud and clear—she needed to stop slacking off. This would be her final warning and any signs she wasn’t measuring up, she’d be shown out, which was exactly why she’d have to tighten the bootstraps after New Year’s, when she returned to Chicago, and put her nose to the grindstone. Nothing else could come between her and work, including Matt.

It wasn’t his fault she couldn’t say no to him. It wasn’t his fault she couldn’t get enough of him. No, it was her fault for opening the door in the first place and consequently not being able to control herself, which meant she needed to put some distance between them. After New Year, Matt and Shannon would be no more—although he didn’t know that yet.

It was unfair of her to be making these types of plans without discussing them with him, especially since she’d promised she’d try, but even if they tried, they would never work, the differences in their lives being too big for them to succeed as a couple. Their circumstances remained fixed, so why go through the pain of trying and failing if you already know the outcome?

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Relaxed and so handsome as he rested his head against the seat with his eyes closed. He wasn’t sleeping, but she took the time to study him unnoticed. She really didn’t deserve him. He had his moments where his ego peeked out, and she couldn’t blame him when he constantly received praise and accolades as a remarkable ballplayer as well as worship and adoration as a gorgeous man. To his credit, he still somehow remained well-grounded with his priorities straight and considering family to be of the upmost importance.

Which is why he shouldn’t waste his time with me
. A family didn’t wait at the end of the road for them. She had no time to be a girlfriend, let alone a wife and a mother.

Yet here she sat on a plane about to touch down, and his family awaited them. Waited with expectations already set high for her and Matt, and they would crumble as soon as she left. She was a horrible, selfish person, but she couldn’t stop herself.

The plane thudded as the tires touched the ground, then the pilots taxied toward the gate. Matt’s eyes opened and he turned his head as he grabbed her hand.

“You ready?” he said with a twinkle in his eye.

“As I’ll ever be,” Shannon replied with a smile she hoped didn’t reveal the nerves fluttering inside.

She hadn’t succeeded, apparently, since his hand squeezed hers. “Don’t worry. It will just be Caitlyn picking us up. I won’t throw everyone at you at once.”

“Gee, thanks,” she said as the plane came to a stop and everyone stood.

They walked through the airport and collected their luggage before stepping outside. The simple pleasure of being outdoors in December and not having to bundle up under multiple layers delighted her as she paused to take it all in. The sun shone brightly, warming the air into the seventies, and Shannon’s mood immediately lightened.

“Okay,” she said as she took in a deep breath of the sweet air, savoring the comfortable temperatures. “Now I understand what you meant about getting away from the cold.”

Matt let out a low rumble of laughter. “I told you. I don’t know how you guys live in that crap.”
 
He looked around and then hitched his head. “She’s over there.”

Shannon glanced down the line of cars waiting and spotted a large black SUV. A small woman stood on the sidewalk, and a big furry golden head emerged out of the backseat window. When the dog recognized Matt, it gave a friendly bark, its ears raised and tongue lolled out.

“I take it that’s Buddy,” Shannon asked with a small laugh. Matt had filled her in about his dog back home.

“The one and only,” Matt said with a proud grin before jogging the remainder of the way.
 

Matt ditched the bags before opening the door, and dropped down to his knees when Buddy launched himself. His tail wagged a mile a minute as his body wiggled and he turned in excited circles, making Shannon dizzy. Matt tried to calm him down enough so he could pet him, but soon Matt fell on his butt and laughed as Buddy continued to throw his weight around.

Shannon laughed, taking in the true scene of a boy, in the body of a man, and his best friend. Buddy was no small dog, but he still managed to tackle a six-foot-five, two-hundred-and-twenty-five-pound man. Buddy finally noticed other humans existed beside Matt and trotted over to greet Shannon.

She knelt down and gave his head a scratch. “Hi, Buddy. It’s nice to meet you.”

He licked her hand before running back over to Matt, who was brushing off the seat of his pants. Shannon laughed. “I guess you’re the only one who matters at this point.”

“Matt is his world,” the petite brunette said. “When they’re together they’re inseparable—everywhere.”

“You’re just jealous because you don’t have a best buddy. Isn’t that right, Buddy?” Matt cooed as he rubbed the dog’s head and ears. “Caitlyn, Shannon. Shannon, Caitlyn.”

Shannon held out her hand and resisted the urge to kneel slightly. Since Matt was so big, his sister’s tiny stature surprised her and made her feel like a giant. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Caitlyn gave her a small smile. “You too.”

Matt rounded the car to load their luggage into the back as Buddy jumped into the backseat. “Go ahead and get in front with Caitlyn.”
 

“Oh,” she said as she glanced at him. “Wouldn’t you be more comfortable in the front?”

Caitlyn snorted as she walked over to the driver’s side. “He wants quality bonding time with Buddy.”

Matt shrugged with an embarrassed smile when Shannon raised a brow for confirmation, and she laughed.
 

Caitlyn pulled onto the freeway and set the cruise before glancing in the rearview mirror at Matt. “Mom wants you to come to dinner tonight.”

“I figured as much,” Matt said. “We’ll get settled in and head over later. Tell her we’ll be there around six or so.”

“She’s been making quite a fuss about you not being around,” Caitlyn told him and Shannon tried not to listen.

“I know. I told her why though,” Matt said.

“Did you?” Caitlyn asked and even Shannon couldn’t overlook the insinuation behind the comment. They were just as surprised about her as she was to be there.

Matt was unfazed though. “Yep, I did,” he insisted and said nothing more.

 
Trying to ignore the awkward tension because of her, Shannon peered out the car window and admired the big red rock mountains lining the horizon. Saguaros dotted the landscape; some tall with five arms, which made her wonder at all the changes that had transpired over the past hundred years or more. For as far as she could see, it was mostly only flat with brown dirt, but it was in such contrast to the landscape surrounding her on a daily basis, that she appreciated the desert’s unique beauty. The majestic mountains impressed and awed her the most and she said as much.

“I’ll take you up to them while we’re here,” Matt replied. “There are some places with great view points, like Mt. Lemmon.”

Shannon continued to watch the flat land pass them by until Caitlyn pulled off the freeway, heading straight into the mountains. “You guys live in the mountains?”

“In the foothills of the Catalina’s,” Matt answered. “We’re in a town called Oro Valley.”

Shannon rode the rest of the way in silence, but when Caitlyn turned into a neighborhood and Shannon caught a glimpse of the guarded gate and then the first house as they passed through, she let out a gasp. “You live in here?”

“Yep,” Matt answered as he started to gather their things.

“So does Jason,” Caitlyn informed her.

“Oh,” Shannon said, still in shock at the sheer size of the houses. “Seems like a lot of house for two single guys.”

“Oh, no. We don’t live together. He has his own place. It’s right there as a matter of fact.”
 
He pointed at a large contemporary house built with pale gray adobe intermixed with a variety of charcoal stones on its sharp angles and dramatic lines.

Shannon quickly forgot about Jason’s spectacular abode when Caitlyn pulled into the paved driveway of Matt’s home. She simply stared out the car window at the gorgeous, grand house finished in reddish-brown adobe with river rock turrets. Multiple tall windows lined the house to the right of the front door, handsomely framed by one of the turrets, while a three-car garage covered in stone swung down the driveway.

Shannon slowly opened her car door. She hadn’t been sure what to expect, but this certainly wasn’t it. Buddy rushed past her, happy to be home, as he followed a path around the house and into the backyard.

Matt walked by her with their luggage and nodded toward the garage door Caitlyn had opened. “Come on. I’ll give you the tour.”

Caitlyn followed behind Matt, leaving Shannon turning in a circle on the driveway. Out of her element, she gave herself a moment for her brain to process this new information. Her family had never wanted for anything, but they definitely hadn’t lived in this luxury. Matt made a good living as a ballplayer, but she wondered if his family had wealth to begin with.