Cattle Baron: Nanny Needed (15 page)

“I couldn’t be unhappier about it, but the idea of a holiday has really got Janis going. You’d think she’d been sentenced to a stint in jail. You have to come. Eliot and I are stalled. She was trying to shake Marcus quiet.”

Amber was stunned. This was a warning sign, impossible to ignore. “She didn’t. She
couldn’t
.”

Cal ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “No one could call her a gentle soul. Not even with her own child. Are you coming?”

“Of course I’m coming. You didn’t wake Brooke? You did consider her at one time for mother of your children.”

“And I guess she’d make a good mother,” he answered tersely. “Just not for
my
children.”

“Maybe you’d better make sure she knows that. She’s still in love with you.”

“God forbid she should
stay
that way.”

He sounded absolutely on the level. It should have allayed her fears, yet she said with a touch of disapproval, “Oh, you’re cruel!”

“Tell me something I don’t know.” He grasped her arm, lucid green eyes sharpening over her body. “Isn’t that a new robe?”

“You’re paying me so many after hours visits I thought I’d better shake a new one out. It’s a genuine Japanese silk kimono. Bought it on a trip to see the cherry blossoms. They don’t come cheap. Not this quality. Glad you noticed.”

“I’ve got used to noticing everything about you, Amber. Janis’s behaviour would chill out the hottest-blooded male, but that’s not happening here. What’s
wrong
with the blessed woman? She’s so utterly dissatisfied with her life—it’s a total mess.”

He’d hit it on the head. “Eliot has to assert himself. They need that break. Get life back into perspective. Janis is a married woman with a child. It’s called responsibility. Commitment.”

“If you ask me, she wants to put as much distance between herself and Eliot and the baby as she can.” Cal spoke with a world of regret.

Brooke asked over breakfast, “Did I hear a lot of noise last night, or was I dreaming? I have to say I had one glass of wine too many.”

“Just the baby,” Amber explained the incident away. No matter how much she had wanted Cal to join her, little Marcus had got the vote.

“What the heck is wrong with Janis?” Brooke asked, lightly buttering a piece of toast. “A friend of mine suffered post-natal depression after her second baby. She was quite okay with the first. She said it was pretty bad but she got lots of love and support. From the very first time I met Janis…maybe I shouldn’t say this—” she swept on “—Janis struck me as overwound. You know, the neurotic sort, with the main focus on themselves, what
they
need and want out of life. I guess having a baby might have worsened the condition. I can see how worried everyone is. Can I hold the little fellow before I go? I need to be back home by mid-afternoon.”

“Of course you can!” Amber agreed straight away, pleased that Brooke had asked.

“I know this seems absolutely crazy—” Brooke was back to muttering behind her hand “—but Janis seems to have the hots for Cal. Tell me it isn’t so?” She pinned Amber with her big brown eyes.

“Janis is fragile at the moment,” Amber offered quietly. She didn’t mention the huge fight that had broken out after Eliot and Janis had retired, an argument initiated by Janis and her aversion to leaving the homestead. Marcus had settled into his routine of sleeping quietly, only to be woken by his mother’s high-pitched rant. It had been more than enough to set him off. It had taken Amber ages to quieten him after taking him down to her room.

“So have
you
got the hots for him?” Brooke asked. “Don’t be offended. I have to ask. You’re so beautiful…but I’ve never stopped loving him.”

“Brooke, I don’t know what’s in Cal’s mind.” She hoped Brooke wouldn’t press her further.

“So how long
have
you known him?” Brooke asked, intent on finding out.

“Only a matter of weeks.”

“Long enough.” Brooke fetched up a huge sigh. “He’s terrific, isn’t he?”

Amber poured them both a fresh cup of coffee. “Sure is,” she said.

Cal returned to the house to see Brooke off. He had long since made the decision not to forgive her but it appeared he was undergoing some sort of sea change of late. And he knew since when. Since the arrival of Amber Wyatt into his life. She was making him over. Maybe making him a better man. He wouldn’t be in the least surprised if she talked him into seeing his mother again. The perennial globetrotter, his mother spent some time in her own country. Would he ever forgive her? Could Amber persuade him to? He could only wait and see.

Brooke was trying hard for composure, but in the end she pulled Cal’s head down to her. “I’m so sorry we didn’t make it, Cal.” Real tears stood in her eyes. “I’ll always love you.” She stood on tiptoe, pressing her mouth against his so passionately she would have left him in no doubt.

Amber, about to make her entrance to say her goodbyes and tee up a visit to Goorack, diplomatically stepped back a few paces, sheltering behind a luxuriant golden cane. She could hear the distressed note in Brooke’s voice as though she had somehow divined that any further attempt to get him back would fail. Amber of the tender heart felt like offering condolences. At the same time she had to ask herself—if Cal and Brooke had still been engaged would he have asked her to Jingala?

The answer had to be a resounding
no
! So, at the end of the day, Brooke’s loss was her gain. That was if she knew how to convince Cal of the depth and steadiness of her feelings. He in turn had to do the same thing for her. No greater risk than giving one’s heart away. No spontaneous recovery. Healing took time.

To Brooke’s great credit, her manner with Amber remained warm and friendly, so much so that Amber went along for the ride while Cal drove Brooke to Jingala’s giant hangar where her Cessna was parked.

“It must be wonderful to be able to fly,” Amber said dreamily as the Cessa lifted off the runway and climbed into the wild blue yonder.

“I’ll teach you.” Though his answer was abrupt, his hand was resting on her shoulder, his thumb absentmindedly caressing the bone.

“You think we will have that amount of time together?” She tipped her head so it lay along his hand.

“That’s up to you, Amber.” His caressing hand moved to her cheek. “I know this has had the elation of an adventure for you. I know you genuinely love the Outback. You see its wild beauty. Feel its mystique. But what of your career? You might suddenly go off and never return. Jingala will be something to look back on. God, you’re beautiful enough to get into movies.”

“There’s a price to be paid for all that fame,” she pointed out. “There’s even a price to be paid for being on national television. I haven’t told you about a few stalkers who caused me some grief. There is always some nutcase out there. Anyway, I’ve never had the slightest ambition to become a movie star, even supposing I got a break.” She didn’t mention that she had been approached some time back by a top agent for a lead part in a new television series. She had turned the role down.

“Okay.” His handsome features were taut. “But loneliness is very threatening and it’s a lonely life out here. The absence of so many things you’re used to. I’ll go further and say you don’t really know what you’d be getting yourself into.”

“So you
are
taking me seriously?” Her heart lifted in hope.

“You know damned well I’m taking you seriously.” Intensity blazed out of his eyes. To prove it, he lowered his head to catch her mouth, kissing her so deeply that she found
herself clutching him for support. “I want
you
in my bed,” he groaned. ‘No one else but you.”

“But you fear I’ll put a dent in your heart, then go away?” She pulled back a little so she could look into his eyes.

“Maybe that fear is chronic.” He gave a harsh laugh. “I couldn’t bear to have you, then lose you. Surely you can understand that?”

“It works both ways, Cal,” she told him gently. “You have me, then you drive me away with your fears. I think you always carry the image of your mother in your mind, a beautiful woman who was unfaithful to her husband. Probably driven into an affair through sheer boredom or loneliness. Please don’t cast me in that role.”

“Did I say I have?” he asked with a note of anguish. “You’ve never known the pain of loneliness and isolation, Amber.
Have
you?”

“I think you’re just trying to find reasons to reject me.”

A faraway look came into his beautiful green eyes. “Hard to reject you when I’m hooked.”

Elation filled every nerve, every fibre of her body. “You’d give up your freedom?”

“Would you?” He held her gaze.

“Gracious me, yes. Total commitment is a very serious business. That’s why we’re in this holding pattern. The other problem isn’t going away.”

“You mean Janis?” he asked impatiently. “What are we going to do about Janis? God, it ought to be the title for a psychological thriller. Except it’s not funny. Eliot can’t cope. He and Caro were so much in harmony, he doesn’t know what’s struck him with Jan. I know some people might deem his lack of action as gutless but he’s far from that. I’ve seen him being incredibly brave. It’s just he’s a fish out of water in this situation, even if he
has
done his best. Jan has resisted all offers of help. So what next?”

“You ask, so I’ll say. Eliot has to act. He’s not
engaging
as much as he should.”

“I know.” Cal shook his dark head. “My fear is Janis wants to abandon Marcus.”

“Mothers don’t abandon their babies.” The thought shocked her.

“Of course they do,” he answered bluntly. “And this one
will
.”

“She can’t remain at Jingala.”

“Why is it I feel you’re trying to tell me something?” he asked sharply.

Amber looked away to where a flock of corellas had covered the branches of a river gum like fantastic white blossom. “It’s not pretty,” she warned.

He gritted his fine teeth. “For God’s sake, Amber, let’s hear it.”

“Okay. You asked.” She drew in a quivering breath. “Janis is in love with you.”

His darkly tanned face visibly lost colour. “No, no, no,
no
!’

The tension was so palpable she could feel it on her skin. “I’m sorry, Cal, but I say it as I see it. Janis is infatuated with you. That’s the reason she’s so unhappy. It’s not PND. The Flying Doctor people were right. It’s not a mood disorder, something mood enhancers and good counselling can counteract. Her feelings are all tied up with
you
. You had your own experience with Brooke. I had mine with Sean. We can’t love to order.”

“Bloody hell,
no
!’ he repeated, looking supremely outraged.

“Think about it.”

“This is wrong!” He spoke roughly, green eyes flashing. “She’s my uncle’s wife. She’s the mother of his child. I don’t even
like
the woman and God knows I’ve tried. How could she be so disloyal?”

Amber gave him the only answer she knew. “It happens, Cal. Brooke still loves you. I suppose she’ll regret her indiscretion to her dying day.”

“Indiscretion! What a lightweight label. I didn’t know about Janis.” He looked and sounded extraordinarily tense.

“I know you didn’t.”

“Does Eliot know?”

“He may not have grasped the
depth
of her feelings,” Amber said. “Doomed love can be awful. Both of us got a taste of that.”

“Because we weren’t really in love in the first place,” he decided tautly. “They were
there
. That’s all there is to it. Seeing Brooke beside you confirmed that for me.”

At his admission her heart gave a great leap of joy, but she didn’t follow up that revealing piece of information when his energy was focused on something else entirely.

“If what you say is even halfway true, I can see no happiness ahead for my uncle.” Cal gave vent to a bitter sigh. “The situation is far more worrying for Marcus.”

She shared his distress. “First step is to get Janis some help. Eliot can call in a doctor.”

They swept through the massive gates that lay open to the homestead. There was fresh urgency in Cal’s manner. “We need a nanny back for Marcus. You’ve been wonderful, but that’s not your job. I have no option but to get back to the men. We’re coming into our busiest time and I have outstations to check on yet. God, what a mess!” His tone was a mixture of grief and contempt.

A
S SOON
as Amber walked into the house she veered off to make her routine check on Marcus.

“He’s outside, love,” Dee told her. Dee was busy punching down dough to get a good even texture for her bread. In the time Amber had been on the station she had enjoyed all sorts of Dee’s delicious, freshly baked breads and rolls. The woman never stopped but she obviously thrived on and took a great deal of pride and pleasure in running the household.

“Asleep?” Amber asked.

“Sleepin’ his head off,” Dee confirmed. “I guess he would after such a helluva night.”

“And Janis?”

“Madam hasn’t stirred as yet,” Dee told her dryly. “I reckon she’d feel a whole lot better if she got some decent tucker into her.”

“And Eliot?”

“He’s with the baby.” Dee had taken to whispering. “If this keeps up he could be a good candidate for a heart attack.”

“Don’t say that!” Amber shuddered. “I’ll go out to them.”

“I’ll make coffee. I’ll just shape this into loaves and set it aside for a while.”

“Lovely!”

“You got on pretty good with Brooke?” Dee called.

Amber turned back. “I liked her, Dee. I think she took the message that she had no future with Cal on the chin.”

“Seems like it.” Dee shrugged. “Big surprise there or she had the sense to recognise she was outclassed. But what about Mrs MacFarlane?”

“Oh, Dee!” For a moment they just stared at each other.

“Okay, love.” Dee relented. “Pity you got drawn into this. On the other hand…” She left the rest unsaid. Their whole relationship had taken a conspiratorial direction.

The long covered porch to the rear of the kitchen area had been turned, of late, into a day nursery for Marcus. It was beautifully cool and a great deal of care had gone into achieving an atmosphere of simplicity and balance. A seated stone Buddha sat high on a tall decorative stone plinth. Today Buddha was holding a basket of freshly picked bougainvillea flowers. Clumping bamboos provided foliage, mixed with golden canes and kentia palms. Little Marcus was benefiting from the peace and serenity.

Eliot stood up. “Brooke got safely away?”

Amber smiled. “I do so admire her ability to fly a plane.”

“You could learn if you wanted to. To be honest, I’ve never met a young woman so capable.”

“Well, thank you. But how much are we born with, Eliot?” she asked wryly. “It’s the luck of the draw.”

“So far as I’m concerned, you’ve been very lucky,” he said. “Shall we sit down?” He pulled out a wicker chair for her.

“I’ll just take a peep at Marcus. Dee is making coffee.”

“I’m so sorry for last night,” Eliot said when Amber returned. “I don’t believe I’ve ever felt so terribly ineffective. I can’t seem to say the right thing or offer the comfort my wife needs.”

“Get the doctor back,” Amber suggested gently. “Forgive me if I’m overstepping the mark.

“How could you be overstepping the mark?” Eliot’s ex
pression was bleak. “You’ve been an enormous help. Jan and I had no right to ask it of you. You’re here as Cal’s guest.”

Amber thought she had rarely seen a more tormented face. “Today would be a good time, if it could be managed. The right medication will help Mrs MacFarlane. Get her through a bad patch.”

“Doctors have been here before, Amber,” Eliot reminded her. “My wife has drained an enormous well of sympathy with her behaviour.”

“Make the call,” Amber urged.

“I will, my dear,” Eliot promised, his face eerily calm.

When Cal saw the Super King Air fly over he knew the RFDS was coming in to land. He threw himself into the Jeep, determined to be back at the house in case of any trouble. How had he never picked up on Jan’s feelings? How
could
she have developed such feelings when he had never given her the remotest encouragement? For God’s sake, she was his uncle’s
wife
. The whole thing was sickening. He couldn’t think about it and do his job. The only thing that seemed to hold him in place was returning to the homestead to find Amber there. She had touched his life in every possible way. He could feel her all around him, in the very air he breathed. He’d never imagined he
could
feel about a woman like he felt for her. He had thought himself in love with Brooke. He had come very close to marrying her. Outback born and bred, Brooke knew and understood exactly what their life would be. Amber was right. The whole torment of the breakdown of his parents’ marriage had never left his mind.

It was crucial for his own happiness to find a woman with the strength to face life on the land squarely. A brave woman he could love and trust. His life’s partner. Wasn’t she right under his nose? Could he possibly be that lucky? He had been allowing himself to dream of winning Amber’s heart. But
was it unwinnable? Even if he
could
win it, would the marriage survive the early days of high romance that had made his parents commit to each other in the first place? Or would the full force of
remoteness
, the epic struggles with drought and flood, give rise to feelings of being trapped in a world that took more than it gave?

Amber was a city girl. A beautiful, accomplished woman. Wouldn’t it be madness to expect a woman like that to settle for a life on the desert fringe? So she wanted to write? She’d have plenty of peace and quiet, he thought ironically. That was if Eliot and Jan could save their marriage and move away. In all probability Amber would soon be getting offers to return to television. Come back, all is forgiven. The very idea of her going away shook him to the bone.

Romantic love was an agony, so elemental one was powerless to fight it.

He knew in his heart that his uncle’s hasty marriage wasn’t going to last. Where then did that leave an innocent child? The greatest blessing of all to most women had turned out to be a real calamity for Janis. Not all women were born to be nurturers. He had learned that the hard way.

Cal made the home compound in record time, parking the Jeep in the shade. His stomach muscles were knotted with tension. He wanted to turn away from all this; he had no option but to go forward. He was master of Jingala.

Dee met him in the entrance hall. Not Amber. Only the sight of her could ease his tension.

“How’s it going?” He fixed Dee with a questioning stare.

“Doc Trowbridge has persuaded Mrs MacFarlane she needs a while being looked after in a clinic.” Dee spoke without expression.

“Okay. That’s good, is it?”

“Better than any of us thought. We expected resistance.”

“So she’s agreed, then?” There was no reason to doubt what Dee was saying, yet he felt enormously on edge. “Where’s Amber?”

“She’s upstairs,” Dee assured him with a backward jerk of the head. “Eliot wanted her along. Poor man is right out of his depth. He’ll travel back with Mrs MacFarlane, of course. By the sound of it, they’re coming now.”

Both of them looked up as a small group of people moved into view at the top of the timber staircase. Dr Tim Trowbridge—well known to them—and a nurse brought up the rear. Amber was a little in front of Eliot, who was gently leading his wife by the arm, an expression of great unhappiness on his face. Janis, on the other hand, looked mute and sullen, eyes dark in their sockets. What shocked Cal most of all was the fact that Janis had cut her long dark hair. No, not cut, she’d
hacked
it so it fell in jagged layers.

Cal moved very fast to the bottom of the stairs, his senses finely honed to all sorts of dangers, on full alert.

At the sight of him Janis suddenly erupted, shaking off her husband’s hand with a single violent motion. “
She
did this,” she shouted. “We were all right until
she
came.”

While the others stood transfixed by this unexpected burst of rage, Janis swooped on Amber. Though thin, Janis was now possessed of a manic strength.

“Bitch! You won’t have him.” She locked her arms around Amber, thrusting her forwards to the very top of the stairs.

“Janis!”

“Mrs. MacFarlane!” Behind them startled cries rang out in horror and protest.

Only Cal had read Janis’s mind. Off balance with jealousy and her perception of Amber as the enemy, Janis had been driven to act. He tore up the stairs as Janis, with unnatural strength, was attempting to push her intended victim down them. It was all happening too fast…

Amber had begun to resist strongly but, in the shocked interim, Janis had gained the upper hand. Janis pushed out with all her might, her expression so triumphant she might have been disposing of the one person who stood between her and all future happiness.

“There!”
she shouted in triumph.

With sick terror Amber could feel herself go. She was falling…toppling…Even as it was happening, her brain flashed a picture of her prone body at the foot of the stairs. A tragedy, with Janis MacFarlane to blame. What a blot that would be on the proud MacFarlane name.

Feeling utterly disconnected, beyond help, Amber braced herself for the worst. A broken hand, a broken shoulder, a broken wrist, a broken neck? Only, instead of her fall continuing, it was interrupted on the way by a hard male body thudding into hers.

Cal.

He crossed strong arms around her, knowing he couldn’t stop the momentum but fully prepared to take the worst of the fall. He had taken plenty of falls before. There was a trick to the rolling and he had long since learned it. Even so, something could always go wrong. He wasn’t just saving himself, he was endeavouring to save the woman he loved. It only made things that much harder.

“Go with me, Amber!” he muttered urgently, not even sure if she heard him.

She did, allowing her body to go pliant. She was putting all her trust in Cal’s ability to cushion their inevitable stunning descent.

Even Janis was momentarily silenced, taken in hand now by both her husband and Trowbridge, who was appalled and not bothering to hide it.

Cal hit the floor first, deadening the impact for Amber, who came to rest half slumped over his back. Her breath was
rattling through her body with shock, but she knew with enormous relief that she had come out of it unharmed. Both of them just lay there, Cal winded. Amber was frantic that he might have taken a hard knock to the head. She tried to sit up to make sure he was all right, with Janis all the while at the top of the stairs shouting down at her, “I wish I’d killed you! I wish you were dead.”

Truthfully, Amber was so grateful to be unharmed she called with black humour, “I’m doing my best!” If it hadn’t been for Cal, Janis might have got her wish. Surely Janis hadn’t planned it? Amber had to reject that. It had been an un-premeditated act. Janis needed a scapegoat for her perceived failure in life. Amber had been elected.

Cal, however, saw no humour whatever in the situation. He brought himself into sitting position, getting his breath and ignoring the stabbing aches and pains through his upper body and a worse one at the back of his head.

“Are you okay?” Amber begged him, her heart in her eyes. Incredibly, Janis, at the top of the stairs, was demanding to be released, as if she had done nothing wrong.

“I wouldn’t have had you within a thousand miles of harm,” he told her bleakly. “Now this. That performance was enough to last me my lifetime.”

He rose to his feet a shade gingerly, bringing Amber with him but keeping her within the shelter of his arm. “I hope you find health and peace, Janis,” he said. “I truly do. But you’ll never set foot in this house again.”

A sombre pall fell over the household for the rest of the day. Even the two house girls went about their chores hushed. No merry giggles resounded around the big open rooms. All was quiet. Even little Marcus didn’t break the silence with a single cry for attention. It seemed that in the absence of his mother Marcus was turning into a model child.

How sad was that?

Even though Janis had intended her real harm, Amber couldn’t find it in her heart to condemn the woman. Some part of her would always pity Janis MacFarlane, who was later to abandon the child she had given birth to without a backward glance. It was as though it had never happened.

Cal returned to work, a sombreness on him like a dark veil. He was devastated that real harm could have been done to Amber, and in his own home. He had accepted that Janis needed help, but never until those very last minutes had he come to the realisation she was an actual
danger
to the one woman she saw as a threat. In a way, it was all
his
fault. There must have been clues along the way but, all unknowing, he had missed them like a fool. Why hadn’t Eliot hinted at the bizarre situation—probably paralysed with embarrassment—or at least taken Janis away whether she wanted it or not? Why had Eliot allowed Janis to call the shots? Was he trying to save his marriage? Eliot was only staving off the inevitable. This was a marriage that should never have taken place.

It shocked and humiliated him that Tim Trowbridge and his nurse had witnessed what had happened. It could easily have been a tragedy. A police investigation. Cal knew not a word of the incident would go any further, but that didn’t stop him from agonizing over the whole terrible business. After that, Amber would surely be determined on going back home.

And who could blame her? She had come as close to serious assault as she was ever likely to in her life. He could see how it had shaken her, even though she had gazed quietly at him with tears glistening in her beautiful golden eyes. “Thank you, Cal. You saved me.”

She might have been part of the family already, prepared to close ranks. That she had come so close to real danger while under his roof and his protection he found shattering. For the
first time he confronted head on what he had been trying to keep within manageable limits.

If he lost Amber, he lost
everything
.