Cate of the Lost Colony (16 page)

Chapter 27

I Rediscover My Dreams

R
oger Bailey began to lay out plans for the colony to move to Chesapeake, and no one dared contradict him, not even Ananias or Christopher Cooper. He came to John White’s house whether or not he had business there and put his feet up on the table as if he were the master. When he left, Eleanor would rail against her husband, calling him a weakling. Then little Virginia would start to cry and Eleanor would put her to her breast and rock back and forth, weeping herself. I felt sorry for all of them. But I decided when we got to Chesapeake, I would use Sir Walter’s money to build my own cottage. And Roger Bailey would never be allowed to set foot inside the door.

One day I was alone in the governor’s house when I heard Bailey at the door. I slipped into the bedroom, hoping he would go away. His footsteps sounded inside. I heard him blow on his hands and knew he was standing at the hearth. The fire gave me away. If no one was at home, it would have been banked for safety.

Bailey was standing in the bedroom doorway, trapping me inside.

“You should not be here,” I said, determined not to show my alarm.

“Were you expecting someone else? Thomas Graham, perhaps? Pah, he is nothing but a common soldier. You should grant your favors to one more suited to you—a gentleman.” He tapped his chest.

“You, you … are a vile …
worm!
” I was so angry I stammered. “Graham is more a gentleman than you will ever be.”

He laughed, baring his yellow teeth. “See how she defends her paramour.”

“He is not my lover, and you I despise.”

He raised his eyebrows. “So you were the queen’s
maid
? More like her bawd, I’ll warrant. I know why you were sent away from court.”

“You know nothing,” I said. “Now let me pass.” I tried to get by him but he grabbed my wrist.

“And you are too outspoken to be a decent woman. But I will teach you a lesson or two. First, how to obey a man.” He pressed me to the wall. His eyes were fixed on my bosom.

Now I was afraid of Bailey, but my hatred of him was stronger. “Unhand me now or I will scream rape. Surely you know the punishment for that.”

To my surprise he dropped my arm and stepped back. The penalty for rape was death.

“You need to be married, and you can’t do any better than me,” he said.

“I would marry the rudest savage in all Virginia before I would ever let you touch me as a husband,” I said, pouring all the disdain I could summon into my words. “Now get out.”

“You’ll regret your pride, vain wench,” he said with a sneer. He turned to leave and on his way out kicked over the governor’s chair. It crashed onto the hearth and became singed by the fire before I could manage to set it upright.

All my limbs were trembling, and I fell in a heap on the floor, resting my whirling head on the seat of the chair I had rescued from the fire.

That night Eleanor noticed the bruises on my wrist, so I told her about Roger Bailey’s indecent demands. She struck her cooking ladle against the tabletop so hard Virginia began to cry in her cradle.

“Damn him! You are not the first to be undone by that man.”

“I did not lie with him, you understand. How can you even think I would?” I said. “Who else has he tried to violate?”

“I have had it in confidence from Alice that Jane Pierce is with child by him, but she will not say he raped her because she wants to marry him.”

“Jane? How could she want to marry Bailey?”

“We are not as wellborn as you, Cate,” said Eleanor testily. “Jane hires herself out as a servant to earn her living. Bailey took more from her than her cooking. And now, to keep from being disgraced, she
must
marry him.”

“Yet he dares to come to me and say I should marry him
,
” I said, more indignant than ever. “At least I told him what a vile worm he is.”

“That was hardly wise,” she said with a rueful shake of her head. “You saw what he did to Georgie and that unfortunate soldier.”

“Roger Bailey is not my governor,” I said. “He is a tyrant, and I pray he will come to a bad end.”

“So you have no man to govern you,” she said with a wry smile. “I should envy you, Cate.”

I thought about Sir Walter and how I had imagined marrying him. Would I have been happy to let him govern me? Did all wives consent to be ruled by their husbands? If so, marriage was no different than serving a king or queen. As a wife I might never have the freedom of my own will.

“I am fortunate to be no one’s servant,” I said. “I have no mistress or master, and I will have no husband either, if Roger Bailey is the best Virginia can offer.”

“Don’t worry. No man here will have you for a wife because you are so willful,” said Eleanor, teasing me.

“I
have
gotten my will. I wanted to come to Virginia,” I mused. “It is certainly not paradise, but if life were like heaven, dying would be a disappointment.”

At this, Eleanor laughed and I did too. We laughed as we had not for months, so consumed with cares had we been. I started to feel light, like the flakes of snow that fell through the air. I might be hungry and thin, but I was still alive. I was not free from care, but my will was free. My place in this new, harsh world was mine to fashion. My dreams, which had lately grown dim, now filled my mind again, like unrecognized shadows that, with the dawn, show their bright, true shapes.

But then I thought of poor Jane Pierce, my companion aboard the
Lion.
Now pregnant by Roger Bailey, what contentment could she dream of?

Eleanor unlocked her father’s trunk. I laid aside the jumbled maps and sea charts, sketches, journals, and old invoices until I saw a sheaf of papers titled
Thomas Harriot’s Vocabulary of the Algonkian Language
.

“This is what I was looking for,” I announced. “I will learn to speak Manteo’s language.”

Eleanor merely raised her eyebrows, then turned to watch Virginia, who was learning to creep across the floor.

Harriot’s pages were full of strange markings, and I soon realized he had created a new alphabet for the Indian sounds. Using the key and other notations, I was able to make sense of it. Then I practiced speaking out loud.

Ananias complained about the “savage sounds” I was making. “It’s not proper for a woman to be a scholar,” he said. “Put that away.”

“You do not rule me,” I said lightly. Eleanor laughed, for that phrase had become our joke, and Ananias had the goodwill to smile too.

“Perhaps you should also learn Algonkian,” I said. “Someone besides Manteo should be able to speak to the Indians. He cannot always be at hand to translate.”

Ananias’s good humor dissipated and he stamped out of the house. Eleanor gave me a look of distress.

“He can barely sign his own name,” she said. “Most of the assistants can read and write a little, but they couldn’t begin to study those papers.”

“Well, they can learn the language from Manteo. I dare not. If I so much as nod to Thomas Graham, people think he is my paramour. Can you imagine how the gossips’ tongues would wag if I were to seek out Manteo for conversation?”

“What I can’t imagine is that you, Cate Archer, would let the suspicions of others guide your behavior,” she replied.

I thought for a moment. “You are right, Eleanor. Why should I let others hinder me with their disapproval? It will not keep me from befriending the Croatoan women, which is my purpose in learning their language.” I had not stopped thinking about their plight, which my fellow colonists preferred to ignore. “Mika reminds me of someone I used to know. And Takiwa’s son—perhaps he still needs medicine. I can speak some Algonkian now. I want to go to them.” Restless, I paced back and forth in the narrow room. “Does anyone know where they are living?”

“Ananias thinks they are still at Dasemunkepeuc,” she said reluctantly. “But how will you get there? You’re not thinking of going alone?”

I had a sudden thought. “Thomas Graham! He pledged to help me before.” I grabbed a wool cloak Eleanor and I shared.

“Wait! You propose to go off in the company of a soldier for the purpose of relieving a band of Indians? Have you no care at all for your reputation?” She threw up her hands.

“This is Virginia, not England. A different decorum applies here,” I argued.

“Not in the matter of a woman’s virtue,” she said firmly. “Soldiers are known to be rogues.”

My face was hot, my mouth dry. “As I have no plans to win a husband here, my virtue is no one’s concern but my own. And Thomas Graham is no rogue, but a better man than any of those false-made gentlemen who usurped your father’s authority.”

Eleanor drew back as if I’d slapped her. “You dare to accuse my husband? And you speak ill of my father, too.” Tears came to her eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I said, suddenly contrite. Eleanor and I had never quarreled. Now I stood to lose her friendship.

“I think you
do
need a husband to rule you and curb your tongue. Graham may be just the man,” she said coldly and turned her back on me.

I went to the armory, where the soldiers were oiling and polishing their muskets, and asked to speak with Graham. A few of the men leered at me, but I ignored them. Graham only laughed at their lewd jests.

“Come, fellows, you know I love the fair Lady Anne, not this sun-darkened Ethiop,” he said.

“Was that necessary?” I said when we were out of doors. “My hair may be black, but I am no Ethiop.”

He smiled. He really was quite charming. “Queen Cleopatra was Ethiopian and a renowned beauty. How may I serve you, my Cate?”

I said I wanted to hire him to row me to Dasemunkepeuc and protect me while I visited the Croatoan.

“You need not pay me. I will relish the adventure,” he replied.

“I have the means, and I will pay you,” I insisted. “For this is also a business investment. I want to learn how the women make the designs they paint on their skin. Then I will sell those designs to weavers and embroiderers. You know how London loves a new fashion in cloth. And the Croatoan would prosper by the trade.”

Graham did not reply for a long while. No doubt my plan sounded like an insubstantial dream. But I would find a way to make it real.

“I know why Ralegh loved you now,” he said, admiration in his voice. “You are a woman after his own heart.”

“I was after his heart,” I admitted ruefully. “But I doubt he loved me. If he did, I would not be in this bind. If he loved this colony, he would have sent relief ships by now. He would be here to govern it himself.”

I had never spoken about my feelings for Sir Walter to anyone besides Emme. But our shared exile led me to confide in Graham.

“Now it no longer matters whether he loved me or I him. I am no longer after his heart, but something more … lasting, I suppose.”

Graham nodded, looking into the distance. No doubt he was thinking of Lady Anne.

I told Alice Chapman of my plan to go to Dasemunkepeuc and asked her to come because of her knowledge of the ailments of women and children. Moreover, her presence might discourage the gossips. I was not entirely careless of my reputation.

“But my babe is not yet weaned,” she objected.

“Eleanor will nurse him for you,” I replied. “And we will only be absent a few days.”

“If it is to help women in need, you know I cannot refuse,” she said at last.

We visited the apothecary, who kept his medicines in a cupboard in his house. Alice advised me to buy saltpeter, a few grains of which cured measles and many aches; syrup of poppy, which induced sleep in restless infants; and small bags of a foul-smelling herb which, infused in a drink, relieved fevers. As I made these purchases, her eyes lit up with anticipation.

“Will the Indians welcome us, do you think?” she asked.

I reassured her Tameoc’s women would recognize me and I would be able to converse with them.

I did not ask Bailey’s permission to go to Dasemunkepeuc and thus acknowledge his authority over me. But Ananias knew of our plans. He preferred us to wait until Manteo had returned from his embassy to the Secotan, but he did not stand in the way of our going. Graham asked Christopher Cooper to procure a wherry for us, and Cooper, out of curiosity, decided to accompany us as well.

The morning of our departure, a tearful Alice turned up at the door alone.

“Is the babe sick?” I asked with sudden fear.

“I cannot leave him. What if I never return?” She began to sob. “My son will grow up without a mother.”

Eleanor went to comfort Alice. “At least you have some sense. Cate’s plan is folly,” she said.

“What is foolish about tending the sick and bringing them medicine?” I said. “Alice, nothing can go wrong. Why not bring your babe and let the Indians see we are just like them.”

Eleanor gave a horrified gasp and Alice shook her head. “I want to go with you, Cate,” she whispered. “But the truth is, John has forbidden me. And he fills my ears with such tales of savagery I am almost afraid to leave my house.”

As Alice could not be persuaded, I took the satchel of medicine and went to meet Graham and Cooper by the shore. The March morning was silent except for the the lapping of waves against the wherry. There were patches of ice near the shore.

“Alice cannot join us. Let’s be off now,” I said.

Graham and Cooper rowed while I held the tiller. The foggy clouds that rose from the water left a rime on their beards and on everything in the boat. I pulled my cloak tight around me for warmth. As we neared the shore, Cooper stood in the prow with his musket ready. I felt my stomach clench. Was this how our soldiers felt when they neared Dasemunkepeuc? Did they imagine warriors eyeing them from among the trees, ready to release their arrows? The shore was deserted. Graham led the way to the village. It consisted of a few dwellings shaped like loaves of bread and covered with reed mats. A thin wisp of smoke came from the roof of one.

“Maybe they will come out if you put down your weapons,” I said.

Graham unshouldered his musket and laid it on the ground, while Cooper lowered his, but did not release it.

“Seeing a woman with us, they won’t attack,” Graham said.