Castles Burning Part One (2 page)

I remember
ed back in the eleventh grade when Aden once put his arm over my shoulders as I was taking my seat in the cafeteria, and deliberately looked down my shirt. He leaned in to my ear and whispered, “Amber, you have a really great rack.” I flushed so crimson I thought my eyes might start to water. I smiled at myself and the memory, my confidence boosted, I quickly used the toilet and washed my hands, as a last thought I took some tooth paste out of the tube and rubbed it around in my mouth. I’d brushed them before I left the house but the sudden case of dry mouth I had left a bad taste in my mouth. I rinsed with water and smiled at the mirror, silently thanking my parents for the year of braces, my smile was another thing I like about myself, now that the braces were off.

When I returned to the bedroom
Aden was sitting at his computer, a nice acoustic song playing quietly. I sat on the bed quietly, and watched him as he removed a CD from a big stack and placed it in his computer tower. Even small, unimportant movements were graceful when he made them; it made no sense for a man of his size to move that way, that gracefully, it seemed to defy the laws of nature.

“I’m
gonna burn you some songs.” He said.

“Oh sweet.
That’d be great.” I said, not really too excited to get the cds, I knew I’d listen to them over and over again while I was away.

“W
ant something to drink?” He asked as he stood up, his navel was at my eye level, I could smell his skin.

I look
ed up at him demurely through my eyelashes, my heart beating a little faster, and watched his jaw muscle clench, as he gazed down at my wide eyes. I muttered a quick answer before pulling out my phone and fiddling with a text message, a feeble attempt to distract my eyes from the dark hair that trailed from his navel to below his pants.  When he left the room I took a deep breath, trying to calm my jitters, I looked around, baseball trophies, basketball trophies; pictures with girls, guys, at parties, at prom, all smiles, great memories. It felt incredible to be surrounded by all of this. I felt weight on the bed behind me, and Aden handed me a soda, I cracked it open and took a small sip before setting it down on the desk, he doesn’t know I stopped drinking soda to get rid of my acne. I smiled at him awkwardly again, and pulled my hair behind my ear, because I didn’t know what else to do with my hands.

“You look so different.”
He said.

“Really?”
I asked nervously.

“
Mmmhmm. Even at graduation I noticed, you’re prettier each day.” His face was close to the back of my head, the feeling almost gave me goose bumps.

“
You, are crazy.” I laughed dismissively.

“You’re the one who’s crazy. Do you know how many of my friends hav
e asked me if you were single?” I felt my scalp tingle as some of my hairs moved slightly beneath his fingers.

“Oh really?
Then why didn’t I get asked to prom?” I teased him, barely able to breathe the words out.

“I don’t know, you’re… intimidating. You always seem so sure of who you are
, and what you want, so much older than other girls, maybe they were just afraid you’d say no. Jamal wanted to ask you.” He said as he moved his fingers through the ends of my hair.

“Well, it’s too late now.”
My eyes were cast down at my hands again, hoping for a change in subject, high school was not a fun time in my life and I was happy it was over so I could move on. Aden’s weight shifted slightly, he was closer to me, his leg against my lower back, and suddenly I could feel his breath on my neck.

“You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever k
nown, you always have been, inside and out.” It was barely audible; I closed my eyes, drinking in the words I’d longed to hear from someone for so long. His fingers came up and pulled my hair that escaped over my shoulder behind my neck and to the other side, trailing his fingers down my arm, to grasp my elbow.

“Aden…”
It was a warning, more for myself, than for Aden, because I actually wanted him to be doing this, but I wasn’t exactly sure what this change in him was, or where it came from, he had never shown an interest in me these last 5 years….why now?

His lips
came to softly brush my shoulder and I nearly jumped off the bed, but his other hand was sitting on my waist, and it tightened at my movement holding me still. I thought I heard a growl escape his throat; it reminded me of when I was young and fed my kitten, then started to take his bowl away to add more food to it, he grabbed my hand with his little paw with such ferocity, such need. My breathing quickened as Aden’s lips moved up to my ear, his shallow breath tickling me, intoxicating me.

“I’ve wanted you since the
first day I met you.” He trailed more kisses along my neck. I had never in my life experienced anything more erotic before this point… Never had I even experienced a simple kiss that was enjoyable. Any other boyfriends I’d had in school the kisses never excited me, they more made me feel uncomfortable, like I was the one who was supposed to be in charge, I didn’t like it. I wanted a man who had more experience than I did.

“
Alex isn’t home and I promise I won’t do anything you don’t want me to, just let me kiss you.” He said as he rested his hand on my knees.

I realize
d then that they were involuntarily clamped together, after releasing them, and taking a deep breath I closed my eyes as his hand moved up my side, across my belly to my hip. Before I knew it he was in front of me, kneeling on the bed, bending down to place his lips on mine. I loved it; I loved the feel of him bending down to me, holding my face. Red hot lava pools rushed between my legs, only this time, it didn’t go away. I was slightly aware that my breathing quickened, Aden’s hand came up to my neck and held my head facing up to him, I bit my lip and looked away, too uncomfortable to continue letting him see in my eyes what I knew is blatantly obvious.

His fingers gra
bbed my chin and I opened my eyes to look at him, he was leaning over me which made his muscles more defined, they rippled along his torso, his shoulders seemed very large, very welcoming. I searched his face before closing my eyes again; I tentatively placed my fingers on his chest and trailed them up his shoulders, feeling goose bumps raise on his flesh against my sensitive finger tips. I put my arms around his neck, welcoming him in, offering him to deepen the kiss. Before I could protest my shirt was swept over my head and I was left in just my camisole and jeans. He placed his hands on my torso and leaned me back onto his bed, it smelled like Aden, fresh and intoxicating. I felt his hand moving up my stomach again, kneading and caressing each curve, molding my breast to his palm, and then moving his hand to rest on my thundering heart.

“Jesus. You are so amazing.”

He stopped kissing me and looked at his hand as he caressed me; I was spinning from the direction this visit had taken. As his lips came back down on mine, I felt his tongue, warm and silky, sliding against my bottom lip, I parted them slightly to allow him access, and gently he tasted me, massaging my tongue with his. A groan escaped somewhere within me, almost guttural sounding, and I found myself responding to his touch, running my fingers along his body, and into his hair.

Suddenly things were moving fast, his hand was under my camisole and
my bra clasp was undone in a heartbeat. His hand caressed my bottom over my jeans, and moved slowly up to the bottom of my right breast before he broke our kiss again to look down at me, staring into my eyes as he slid his fingers along the bottom curve of one breast and then the other. I looked down at his hand and felt myself responding, as his hand glided slowly up to my nipple. I let my eyes slip shut; never had I experienced someone touching me this way, I wanted to drink it all in. I began to press my breasts harder against his palm. Groaning again he moved beside me and I felt him pressing against my thigh, before fully forming the thought, my hand reached down, and I swept my hand up the length of his hardness, then up over his belly to rest on his heart. I looked up into his eyes and saw something spark and he instantly broke away from me and got off the bed.

I sat up on my elbows,
confused, but more disappointed than anything. I gazed at him, his burning eyes, balled fists, and clenching jaw, he was the picture of discomfort.

“What’d I do wrong?” I ask
ed him.

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me. You should go.
I’m really sorry about that, I should have moved slower.”

I look
ed at the clock, I didn’t have to be to work for another thirty minutes, but I decided to use it as an excuse anyway.

“Yes I need
to get to work anyway.” I stood up and fixed myself … Unexpectedly I felt tears prick my eyes.

Aden placed
his hand on my arm and pulled me to him. “Please. Don’t think this is you. It’s not you it’s me. I’m sorry I moved so fast.” He tucked invisible hair behind my ear and gazed down at me “This just isn’t how I imagined this moment with you to be. Will you come back tonight?”

“Yes.”
I wanted to say I don’t know… or maybe…or even no. But I couldn’t. Not drawn to him the way I was, the way I always had been. With that I made my way to the door, Aden followed, closing the door softly behind me. I stood on the porch for a moment, smelling the rain that was held in the clouds to fall later. I thought I heard a door slam shut, but bounded down the stairs too quick to really be able to tell what the sound was.

***

I went back later that night, and we sat on the bed, we talked and talked, like usual. But this time it was different, we were laying on the bed together, listening to music, side by side. I had dreamed of this moment many times in the last year.  As the beautiful acoustic sounds drifted around us, my eyes grew heavy and closed for just a moment to rest after my long day. Aden’s soft voice came to me out of the darkness, and his chin rested on my head as I leaned against his chest.

“Do you think people can change something that’s in their core?
In their nature?” He whispered. I opened my eyes and looked up into his eyes, seeing only genuine interest.

“I guess. I think so… my dad overcame his past, and made a good life for
him, and us.” I sat up and looked down at him on the bed, “What do you mean?” I crossed my legs under me and pulled a blanket around my shoulders as I leaned back against the bed posts at the foot of his bed.

“You can tell me anything, you know that.”
I coaxed.

He took a deep breath
, and took one of my feet into his hands, dragging his thumbs along the sole before he began.

“Earlier today when I reacted the way I did. It really wasn’t you.
I told you I’d go slow, and I didn’t. It made me feel angry with myself, as if I’d lost control or something. It’s strange, I’ve never felt this way before, not with other girls I’ve been with. I want you so much, I forget that you aren’t…” He signed in exasperation.

“I’m sorry.” I said, cutting him off, too embarrassed to let him continue.

“Don’t be sorry. I just wasn’t prepared for it.” His hands slid up my arms and down my sides to my hips where he rested them, and used his thumbs to knead circles into my hip bones. It created a lovely sensation in my womb, and almost immediately I felt a rush of heat between my legs. I closed my eyes and leaned forward, resting my forehead against his clavicle.

“I wa
nt you touch me like that again.” He whispered.

              Slowly, without moving my head from his chest, I took my hand from his knee and slid it up his thigh, pausing for a moment and enjoying the feel of his hardness against his leg. I lifted my head and looked into his eyes; they were burning, and ignited a fire inside me. I wanted him, and I didn’t care if it was so fast. I’d known him for years, I trusted him. I rose up onto my knees, and he followed, quickly I unbuttoned his shirt and slid it off his shoulders as he grabbed my knees and pulled me closer to him, until the entire front of my body was against his, my legs draped over the pillows resting behind him. Warm and soft, skin to skin, he was silky and hard at the same time. A small moan betrayed my state of excitement as Aden lifted my shirt over my head and reached for my jeans, I leaned back and let him take them off completely, straightening my legs, toes pointed to the ceiling. After tossing my jeans to the floor, Aden rubbed his nose against the backs of my knees before kissing each one and lowering my legs, placing his hands around my feet.

I suddenly sobered at
the sight of my near nakedness, now just in my camisole and panties, I gazed at him as he slipped my socks from my feet, exposing blue toenails, I grimaced when I noticed some lint between my toes, and giggled as he plucked it out and grinned up at me, holding my foot in his big hands.  Slowly he brought my foot to his face, and my eyes widened in horror at the thought of being on them for 6 hours at work.

Placing his nose against the sole of my foot and closing his eyes
, he inhaled. I felt the cool air being pulled against my flesh as he inhaled the scent of me, and then placed a small kiss on the pad of my big toe, lightly biting it. It sent a shock directly to my groin; I bit my lip and noticed that at some point Aden had stripped down to his boxer briefs without my noticing. I was mesmerized by the sight of his erection pressing against the fabric, begging to be freed and in a bold move, mostly in response to him begging me to touch him, I did.