Castle Walls (13 page)

A hand rested lightly on her clenched fist. "Kat? Are you all right?"

The brunette opened her eyes to see Sati's compassionate face. She tried to respond, unable to do more than stammer through the shock and burgeoning anger.

Phizo, looking decidedly uncomfortable, rose from his seat. "I'll go load up the keg," he said as he left them.

"Kat…?"

Anger soon won the battle for dominance. Black eyes flashing, the princess pulled away from Sati's touch, putting her fists in her lap. "You
knew
they were lovers," she hissed.

Taken aback at the woman's vehemence, Sati sat up straighter. "Aye. I knew," she answered calmly. "Though it doesn't happen often. Lina serves only to satisfy certain…
needs
Ros has."

"Needs?" Katerin sputtered. "We
all
have needs! That doesn't mean we should whore ourselves about!" Even as the vicious words spilled from her mouth, she wanted to call them back. Her irrational fury warred with shame as she watched her friend's eyes grow cold. "I'm sorry, Sati. I -"

"No." The dark skinned woman held up her hand. "I'll not discuss it here." Rising, she picked up her purchases. "Come along or stay, Kat. It's your choice. We won't wait long for you."

Katerin stared down; watching the splash of a tear hit the tabletop. She felt hollow and lost, worse than she had in those dark days of running before she found the circus. The compound had become home, the troupe family.

Slowly, the brunette rose and shouldered her bag. She wiped away the tears on her face before leaving the inn.

Silence permeated the ride home. Sati had taken Ros' place by Phizo, leaving the princess to sit alone in the puddle of blankets.

Katerin's heart was a knot of confusion. Anger, envy, and a deep sorrow filled her, forcing her to concentrate foremost on not crying. Instinctively, she refused to think of Lina, knowing that to do so would be her undoing. Only her royal training kept the tears at bay.

Soon it was over. In no time, Katerin sped down the side of the wagon and into the main building. Emerita barely had time to acknowledge her arrival before she stormed into her room. Throwing herself onto the bed she shared with Ilia, the princess burst into tears. A part of her childishly awaited someone, anyone, to interrupt her pitiful wallowing with words of sympathy.

No one came.

In lieu of a distraction, her sobbing intensified.
How could she do this to me? Running off to sleep with a barmaid...Who does she think she is?
Fury overcame Katerin and she beat on her pillow as she cried.

Exhaustion eventually overcame her, tears fading to leave swollen eyes and a runny nose in their wake. The numbness was a relief though she couldn't drift off to sleep. Every time her eyes closed, a vision of Ros pressed against Lina's naked form would appear.

Hours passed. Noises from the wall adjoining the main room attested to life continuing - supper was prepared and eaten, the troupe gathering about the fireplace afterwards to entertain one another with stories and songs. Stewing in her melancholy, the brunette listened to the familiar sounds, feeling hollow and alone. The knock, when it occurred, caused Katerin to jump. Hastily sitting up, she rubbed at her face. "Come in," she said in a rough voice.

Emerita poked her head into the sleeping chamber. "Would you mind a visitor?"

A combination of relief and irritation moved through the dark woman. "Yes, I mind," Katerin said, her royal blood shining through as she lifted her nose into the air. "I wish to be alone."

Raising an eyebrow, the old woman said, "Fine. I'll leave you to your self-pity." She stepped back.

"Wait!" Katerin leapt to her feet, heart pounding at the threat. Wilting under the stern but kindly gaze, she dropped her eyes. "I'm sorry, Em. I don't know what's come over me this afternoon. Please stay."

Nodding, Emerita entered, closing the door behind her. "Sati told me that you were...out of sorts about Ros," she said as she sat on the bed, the young woman joining her.

A watery snort erupted from Katerin and she looked away, previously missing tears making a rapid return. "'Out of sorts.' That's an interesting phrase."

Eyeing the young woman's profile, Emerita said, "She says you're
acting the jilted lover."

"I most certainly am
not
!"

"Aye, I agree. Which begs the question - why are you acting as one?"

There was a moment of silence before Katerin began huffing, anger making a glorious comeback. Emerita let her sputter, watching with mild interest. Unable to come up with a coherent reply, the brunette's fury dissipated, leaving her feeling emotionally battered.

Silence stood between them for long moments.

With a gentle sigh, Emerita reached for the young woman's hand. Cradling it, she said, "You're angry at Ros for staying with Lena this night. You're jealous."

Katerin attempted to pull away but the old woman's grip was surprisingly strong.

"You can lie about it to yourself as much as you'd like. But I'll not allow my family to be disrupted as a result." Emerita released the now balled up fist. "You must come to terms with your emotions, girl."

Again there was silence. Dark hair obscured Katerin's face as she hung her head.

"Anyone with eyes can see that you love her." Emerita allowed a slow grin to cross her lips as the woman peered up at her. "Aye, and she loves you too."

Tears spilled down Katerin's face. "Then why is she there and not
here
, Em?" she asked, hating the plaintive waver in her voice.

"You've never given her cause." The old woman's eyes searched the room even as her mind sought to convey the words. "Your opinion of sapphists is no secret, Kat. Whether you harbor these thoughts because of experience or upbringing, I don't know. Ros is a sapphist, like it or no."

Katerin blushed at the old woman's candor. It took quite a bit of strength to not squirm, as well. "Where I come from...it's...frowned upon," she finally allowed. Especially for the heir to the throne.

"Aye. It is in many places," Emerita said, nodding. Her voice became unyielding as she said, "But not here."

Chastised, the dark woman nodded in mute agreement, fresh tears falling to her lap.

Emerita eased her stern features, unwilling to let the young woman suffer alone. Gathering her into her arms, she rocked gently, pleased that Katerin relaxed into the embrace.

The tears came back with a vengeance. Heart wrenching sobs shook Katerin's small form as she mourned her situation. Emerita never wavered, holding her close. Even after the tears had finally let up, the princess remained in place, her head in a soft lap, aged fingers running through her hair. She still felt hollow, but the gentle caress eased the ache in Katerin's chest.

"It's high time you made a decision, Kat. You can accept Ros' love and return it freely," the old woman murmured. "Or you can release her in your heart, no harm done."

Katerin sniffled, forcing herself to sit up, pulling away from the comforting touch. "I've been too long denying it, Em," she said, wiping her face. "Ros wouldn't have me now anyway. She's Lina to bed, in any case. "

"You're wrong, Kat. If you crooked your finger, Ros would come running." At the incredulous glance, Emerita chuckled. "Aye! We all know it, even if neither of you do. The question's not whether you two love each other. It's whether the pair of you will fight for the love you feel."

Taken off guard by the statement, Katerin's troubled expression faded into thought. Not until Emerita reached the door did the young woman return to the present.

"Sati and Florin have put aside dinner for you. Ilia said she'd be happy to bring it if you wish...?"

Raising her chin, Katerin rose. I must get on with things. "That won't be necessary, Em. I'll come to the hall to eat. Thank you."

The old woman smiled, reaching out to take Katerin's hand. "Good. We miss your presence this night." Emerita led the young woman out of the room.

Chapter 8

"...And on the twenty-third day of the fourth month I, His Royal Majesty Germaine Carlos William ??, have ordered a grand celebration in the Dulce province to commemorate the first anniversary of its... inclusion in My kingdom!"

There was a low murmur from the crowd; the court herald swallowed nervously but kept on. "The finest of entertainment has been invited - dancers, musicians, racers, circuses and acting troupes. Firemount Field will be converted to tournament grounds and all warriors near and far are invited to test their mettle against one another. We will be in attendance as judge.

"The celebration will last a fortnight and I ask all of the My subjects to attend. Signed by my hand, the eighth day of the eleventh month."

As the herald continued on to other announcements, Dominic stopped listening, mind awhirl.
Fourth month, eh? That might be the perfect time.

It had been a logistical nightmare, planning the rebellion. Recruiting the disaffected public and loyal followers to Liam's banner hadn't been as difficult as pinning down a time and date to act. The Invader had already taken the castle once, taking it again wouldn't be all that hard, especially with his soldiers in residence.

But killing the Invader...now that would be far better. The royal brat would triple his diplomatic power base by slaying him.

Thoughts heavy on his mind, the aide stroked his mustache as he left the square.

Undoubtedly, the dawning hour is the most beautiful
, Ros thought. The morning quiet was broken only by the crunch of her footsteps on the frozen road. All was still - most townsfolk still abed, local farmers tending their early chores.

Deeply inhaling the chill air, the blonde wrinkled her nose, perversely enjoying the numbness on her face. Ros looked up into the sky, noting the low clouds.
It will snow soon. I'd best check the tiger's enclosure with Cristof - make sure she'll be warm enough.

Her thoughts wandered to the previous evening's activities and Ros smiled, unconsciously licking her lips. As usual, her liaison with Lina left her feeling playful and lazy, relaxed on levels she usually couldn't attain on her own. It had been embarrassing, calling out Kat's name at one point. Fortunately, Lina understood far more of the situation than the circus owner gave her credit for. They spoke at great length before the barmaid pounced on Ros, insisting that
her
name would be the next called in passion.
And call it, I did
, the blonde thought with a smirk.

Coming over a small rise, the compound came into sight. Surprisingly, smoke already trickled from the chimney.
Em must be baking today
, she thought, though it seemed that the matriarch of the troupe had finished that little chore a day or so earlier. Ros continued walking with a shrug.

Thoughts turned to Katerin, as they inevitably did. Shaking her head, Ros pulled her cape tighter around her throat.
You've got to get past this infatuation, woman
, she scolded herself. Reviewing Kat's most recent flirting, the blonde snorted.
She obviously isn't aware of what she's doing. Else she'd run screaming back to her kingdom in horror.

Which brought up another line of thought. The Invader was known the world over for his dogged stubbornness. Unless his men had lied and another young woman had been killed in Katerin's place, he was still looking for her. Unfortunately, the circus' route took them precariously through the old Dulce kingdom.
To change our normal path for no apparent reason would
call suspicion. What then, eh?

Ros worried the topic, a familiar habit these last few months, as her steps brought her closer to home.

As the door opened, Katerin looked up from her sewing to see the lanky
circus owner enter. Heart shivering, she tried to maintain an air of calm as she set her project in the basket at her feet.

Ros, deep in thought, initially didn't notice the dark woman's presence. She took off her cape and hung it on a hook behind the door. Turning, she spied the object of her musings, a pleased smile crossing her face. "Good morning, Kat. I didn't expect to see you up so early."

"Good morning," the princess said, returning the smile. "I had some
difficulty sleeping so I thought I'd do some work on my stitching."

The ghost of a frown flickered in Ros' eyes. "Nightmares?" she asked, settling down on a stool.

Katerin blushed, looking away. "Sometimes," she murmured. Raising her chin in subtle defiance, she captured the blonde's eyes. "But not last night."

Ros blinked. "Oh," she said, at a loss.
How does she pull the rug out from beneath me so easily?

With a small laugh, Katerin leaned forward and patted Ros' hand. Swallowing her envy, she sat back in her chair, a small grin on her face. "How was your visit with Lina?"

"It was... relaxing. We haven't seen each other in well over a year. She's been--"

"Taking care of her sick grandfather in the country," Katerin finished, not wanting to continue this line of discussion, despite the fact she'd begun it. "She told me. At the inn, yesterday."
You are acting like such a ninny
, the young woman scolded herself.

Watching Katerin appear intensely interested in a speck of lint on her lap, the blonde wondered,
Is that jealousy I see?
After a slight hesitation, Ros mentally shook her head.
Of course not. What am I thinking?

Katerin sighed. "I apologize," she said, looking ruefully at the circus owner. "I…I didn't get much sleep last night, as I said. I do not wish to be rude."

"I understand," Ros answered, not comprehending in the least.

"No, you don't," the brunette said, smiling despite herself.
Get on with it, woman! You're a royal princess for gods' sakes! Show some backbone.
Inhaling deeply, she reached for Ros' hands once more, taking them in hers. "As I was told last evening, I've been a bit out of sorts since yesterday. When you stayed in the village, I--" Katerin squeezed the blonde's hands, forging on. "I was jealous. There! I
said
it!"