Castle of Secrets (27 page)

‘You know what
you do when he gets here?’ said Lord Torkrow to the Vances.

‘Yes, my lord,
that we do. We’ll send him to the cemetery so that he can see the grave.’

Helena
looked at Lord Torkrow
questioningly.

‘I knew he
would never let Anna go, so I had my stonemason make a headstone for her and my
nephew,’ he said. ‘One night, we placed it in an out of the way corner in the
graveyard. When her husband arrives, the Vances will tell him that she came
here with the boy, but that she died soon afterwards and the boy followed her
to the grave.’

‘Will he
believe it?’

‘I think so.
He beat them both badly, and it was snowing when they escaped. It is not
unlikely that they would have caught a fever on their flight and, already
weakened by the beating, have succumbed. It is, at all events, worth a try.’

Anna and
George returned, ready for their journey. George was prattling happily about
Italy
as they all went out to
the carriage.

Helena
saw that Aunt Hester was
dressed for a journey.

‘I am going
with Anna, as her chaperon,’ she said, ‘but once I’ve seen her safely to her
godmother’s house, I’ll return. Will you wait for me at the castle? Then I can
tell you everything.’

‘Of course,’
said
Helena
.

She sat next
to her aunt in the carriage. Anna sat opposite them, with Simon next to her,
and little George on her knee.

‘There’s a
ship sailing to
Italy
this evening,’ said Anna. ‘I’ve taken notice of their comings and goings, and I
always know when the next ship will sail. I would have left soon anyway. I have
regained my health, and I was only waiting to regain my strength completely
before leaving.’

‘But you are
strong enough for the journey?’ asked Simon in concern.

‘Yes. I have
Mrs Carlisle with me. We will manage.’

The cry of the
gulls became louder as they approached the sea. The wind stiffened and the
carriage swayed from side to side. The streets became busier. Carts were
heading for the dock, laden with sacks and barrels. Women in rough skirts and
thick woollen shawls jostled seamen, who swore and cursed and spat. There was a
smell of fish, overlaid with the pervading smell of salt, and there was a
clamour of creaking rigging which mixed in with the clatter of wheels on cobblestones
and the sound of sailors’ cries.

As they neared
the water, their progress became much slower as Eldridge picked his way between
carts and carriages, avoiding urchins and stray dogs, until he finally stopped
by the shipping office.

The door
opened and the step was let down. Simon climbed out first, looking round with
alertness in case Maria had caught up with them. Anna followed, with George, then
Helena
stepped out with Aunt
Hester.

A cry of
‘Anna!’ rent the air, and
Helena
looked round in horror, but it was not Maria. It was an
elderly woman, who was waving to a young girl, another, different, Anna.

Helena
breathed a sigh of
relief, and they went into the office.

The
arrangements were soon made. Anna’s ship was to sail with the evening tide. As
they emerged once more on to the dock, they saw the ship not far off. Looking
around all the time, they crossed the dock and reached the vessel.

As she set
foot on the gangplank,
Helena
felt it sway in the breeze and she clutched the rope,
provoking laughter from a sailor nearby. Regaining her dignity, she ran up the
remainder of the gangplank and was relieved to be on the ship.

Interested in
all she heard and saw, she accompanied the small party to Anna’s cabin. It was
surprisingly well appointed, and George ran round it in delight.

‘Will you stay
with me until I sail?’ Anna asked Simon.

‘Yes. There
are some things I must see to, first, but I will not leave the ship.’

She glanced at
Helena
, then nodded and gave her
attention to her son.

‘Will you join
me?’ said Simon to
Helena
.

‘Of course,’
she said.

They did not
go on deck; they would be too obvious should Maria arrive; but they stood
outside the cabin, talking.

‘I want you to
return to the castle,’ he said.

‘But would it
not be easier for me to stay with you? The ship sails in a few hours, and we
could return together.’

‘I do not want
you here. If Morton finds us, things could get ugly. I will not have you
exposed to it. Take the carriage. Return to the castle. I will hire an equipage
once the ship sets sail and join you later. And then we will have much to
discuss.’

Her dismissal,
and her wages, she thought, with a sinking feeling. Her time at the castle was
drawing to its end.

‘Very good, my
lord.’

Helena
returned to the cabin to
take her leave. She embraced Aunt Hester, wished Anna a safe journey, and then
she left the ship. As she set foot on the gangplank she looked around the dock,
but there was still no sign of Maria. Bracing herself for the swaying
underfoot, she succeeded in reaching the dock without difficulty, and then she
went over to the carriage.

‘We are to
return to the castle,’ she said. ‘His lordship will follow.’

Eldridge
nodded, then
Helena
climbed into the carriage
and it pulled away, the horses’ hooves clattering on the cobblestones as they
left the harbour.

Simon watched the carriage as it
pulled away, and found himself wishing he was going with it. He wanted to see
Anna safely on her way, but he wanted to be with
Helena
, too. He could finally acknowledge
his feelings, now that he knew who she was, and he found they were even deeper
than he had suspected. But to acknowledge them and to welcome them were two
different things.

He returned to
the cabin. Mrs Carlisle was playing with George, and Anna was watching them.
She turned her head as he entered and said: ‘Has she gone?’

‘Yes. I have
sent her back to the castle.’

‘I feel in
need of a breath of air,’ said Anna.

‘You cannot go
on deck, it is not safe.’

‘In the
corridor, then. You will come with me?’

He agreed, and
together they went into the corridor.

‘You like
her,’ she said, when they were alone.

‘Yes. I do,’
he said.

He had never
been able to keep anything from Anna, even when they had been children, for she
had always known what he was thinking, and it was a relief to say the words out
loud.

‘I am glad,’
she said with a smile. ‘You have suffered too much, Simon. I think you should
marry her, and be happy at last.’

He shook his
head.

‘Love does not
bring happiness,’ he said, his mood darkening.

‘It brought
happiness to Richard.’

‘It brought
him torture!’ he returned.

‘I don’t
understand you,’ she said, puzzled.

‘You did not
see him as I did, Anna. It was I who had to carry him the news; it was I who
had to tell him I’d killed his wife. It was I who destroyed his world.’

She touched
his hand.

‘It was an
accident, Simon. You cannot blame yourself.’

‘Can I not? If
I had not returned to the castle when I did, she would still be alive.’

‘You could not
know she would run out to greet you.’

‘For a moment
. . . one moment . . . I thought she wanted to see me,’ he said, as he
remembered his elation at seeing her, and seeing the smile on her lips. ‘But
she thought it was Richard, returning from the Doyles. It was dark, the horse
was startled . . . ’

‘You could not
help it,’ she said gently. ‘No blame attached to you.’

‘I remember it
all so clearly. It is etched on my memory. I can still see her running up to my
horse and being knocked aside. I can see her falling, I can remember how I felt
as I leapt from the saddle and tried to catch her, but it all happened so
quickly, and before I knew what was happening she was lying on the ground with
a trickle of blood wetting her hair. If there had not been a stone just there,
where she had fallen, she might still be alive, but it was jagged and she hit
her head . . . I can still remember my anguish when I knew she was dead.’

‘You loved
her,’ said Anna quietly.

‘No,’ he said.
‘I simply thought I did. I picked her up and carried her inside, fancying my
feelings the grief of love, but when I told Richard . . . when he understood
she was dead . . .  I saw the pit of hell open up in his eyes. I had never,
until that moment, known what love was, but I knew it then, and it terrified
me. My feelings had been but a pale reflection. I decided at that moment that I
would never fall in love. I never wanted to open myself up to such pain.’

‘We cannot
choose where or when we will love,’ she said softly.

‘I choose, and
I have chosen.’

‘Then I pity
you,’ she said sadly, ‘for if I found love, I would not let it pass me by.’

‘I cannot love
her,’ he said, wrestling with himself.

‘You
will
not. That is a different thing. Don’t let Richard’s grief destroy you,’ she
said, stroking his cheek. ‘You have been like a ghost for long enough. It is
time for you to live again.’

But he only
shook his head.

‘If I love
her, one day I will lose her. I cannot bear that pain.’

Helena
leant back against the squabs. She
felt suddenly tired, as all the excitement of the day caught up with her:
waking early, finding the secret room, begging Mary for help, finding out
Mary’s true nature, discovering that Simon was not a monster, meeting Anna and
her child, and finding her aunt.

She felt the
tension that had been gripping her for the last few weeks fade away. Her
muscles relaxed, and she felt at peace in a way she had not for a long time.
Aunt Hester was not missing, or dead, she was safe.
Helena
recalled her aunt’s face, cheerful
and healthy, and she smiled.

The carriage
left the sea behind. The cry of the gulls faded, and the tang of salt grew less
marked until it disappeared altogether. The view outside the window changed
from blue to green, and
Helena
found her thoughts moving forwards again. In a few hours she
would be back at the castle, and then she would resume her masquerade as the
housekeeper. She thought of revealing the truth to Mrs Beal, but it would
involve her in divulging secrets which were not hers to tell. She would have to
play her part for a little while longer.

Would Simon
let her stay until her aunt returned from
Italy
? she wondered. Aunt Hester had
seemed to think so. And yet he might ask her to leave at once. She could not
bear the thought of it. He had become a part of her life, and although he had
often unsettled her as well as intrigued her, she could not bear the thought of
being without him.

The carriage
stopped to change horses.
Helena
alighted, and ordered a cold collation, for she was hungry
after her exertions, then she was once more on her way.

It was not
long before the carriage turned off the main thoroughfare and began to cross
the moors. She was nearing the castle. She looked out of the window, tracing
the landmarks of her first journey: the twisted tree, the dry stone wall . . . 
and then the castle came in sight. It looked less threatening than it had done
when she had first arrived. Then, it had been unknown. Now, it was the place
where she had lived for many weeks, and although it had held terrors, it had
held pleasures, too. She remembered the warm kitchen, the beauty of the
ballroom, the music, waltzing with Simon in the gallery . . .

Simon! She had
thought of him by his Christian name, but she had no right to call him that,
not even in the privacy of her own thoughts.

Had he been in
love with his sister-in-law? she wondered. Or had that just been a rumour? Had
he any intention of marrying Miss Fairdean, or one of the other young women at
the ball? Or would he remain alone?

The carriage
passed under the arch and came to a halt outside the castle. Eldridge opened
the door and let down the step, and
Helena
climbed out. As she entered the hall, she saw signs of the
ball everywhere and with a shock, she realised that it had been held only the
day before. So much had happened that it seemed like a week ago. From the
corridor to her left she heard the sound of tables being moved and glasses
clinking. The servants were busy clearing away everything they had had to leave
the night before.