Casting About (24 page)

S
ince Carrie Sue had left the island a month before, we'd seen a marked improvement in Clarissa. No further behavior problems. Her grades at school returned to As and Bs, but best of all was her happy attitude. She smiled more, laughed more, and appeared to be a more well-adjusted child.

With the arrival of Hank on the island a new happiness had also come over Opal. Both Adam and I were fond of him, and it was easy to see why she delighted in his company. Distinguished looking with a crop of white hair, he had a way of making people feel at ease, and his wonderful sense of humor provided lots of laughter.

I had just zipped the second piece of luggage closed when Clarissa came into the bedroom.

“Are you excited about going to Augusta?” she asked.

“I am,” I told her. “Is there anything in particular you'd like me to get for you while I'm there?”

“No, but when you get back could you teach me that knit two together stitch?”

I smiled. “Of course I will. We'll find you a pattern for a scarf where you can use that stitch. And I tell you what, you're getting so accomplished, pretty soon I think you'll be able to begin a sweater.”

Clarissa's eyes lit up. “Really? Could I make one for Billie to wear?”

“I don't see why not,” I said, walking out of the bedroom. “There are lots of patterns now for doggie sweaters. She'd like that and it'll keep her warm in winter.”

Adam looked up from the crossword he was working on and smiled. “All packed?”

“Yup, and your mother should be here shortly to get Clarissa.”

“I'll go get my duffel bag,” she said.

A few minutes later Opal knocked on the kitchen door and walked in. “Is my favorite girl ready to spend a few days with her grandma?”

Clarissa ran over to give Opal a hug. “Yeah, and Billie's ready too,” she said, clipping on the dog's leash.

“Okay.” I reached for the tote bag containing Billie's food and treats. “Here's everything you need for Billie. I did give you the phone number at the Partridge Inn, right?”

Opal waved a hand in the air. “Yes, you did, and I have both your cell phone numbers and we'll be just fine.” She ruffled the top of Clarissa's hair. “Now your job is to go and have a wonderful time. Hank is escorting the two of us for dinner this evening to the Island Room and we have a full weekend of activities planned for Clarissa.”

I smiled as Clarissa jumped up and down. “Oh, goody. I like Hank, and maybe Billie can play with Charlie in your yard.”

“I think that can be arranged,” Opal told her.

Clarissa ran to hug Adam and then me. “Have fun,” she hollered, following Opal out the back door.

“You too,” I hollered back.

 

As soon as Adam negotiated the curve on the hill, I saw the Partridge Inn situated majestically at the top. Six stories high, pale yellow in color, with white verandahs and balconies. The front façade was partially hidden by looming dogwood trees in full bloom.

“Oh,” I uttered, “It's just lovely.”

Adam placed his hand on my leg. “It's considered one of the grand hotels of the classic South.”

He pulled the car into the small, attached parking garage.

We removed our luggage from the trunk and walked into the cobbled brick courtyard with a small pool at the center. The door from the courtyard led us to the lobby. Victorian décor and furniture gave the feeling of stepping back in time.

While Adam got us checked in, I looked around and understood why my mother loved staying here. It had a warm and inviting ambience.

“All set,” Adam said, turning to the bellhop. “Room three-oh-two.”

The man was placing our luggage on the cart. “Very good, sir. I'll be right up.”

We took the elevator to the third floor and made our way along the thickly carpeted corridor. I could now see the building was tiered on different levels. Down three steps, a short walk along another corridor and up a few more steps. Our room was at the end and Adam inserted the key.

Stepping into a spacious area, I took in the king-sized bed and elegant furnishings. Long, full-length windows allowed the sun to stream through, creating a golden glow.

“Oh, how pretty,” I said, and felt Adam's arms go around my waist.

“I'm glad you like it. I think we'll have a nice four days.”

We both turned at the knock on the door.

Adam opened it, the bellman removed our luggage from the cart, accepted his tip, and said, “Enjoy your stay at the Partridge Inn,” before quietly closing the door behind him.

“How about some champagne?” Adam asked.

It was then that I noticed the silver bucket on the coffee table in front of the sofa, with the bottle cooling inside.

“Sounds wonderful,” I said, going to sit down. “You've thought of everything.”

“I thought we'd relax here for a while. I made an eight o'clock reservation for dinner at the Verandah Grill downstairs.”

I laughed at the pop when Adam removed the cork. “What a great sound.”

Filling both flutes, he joined me on the sofa. “Here's to us,” he said, lightly touching the rim of my glass.

“To us,” I repeated before taking a sip of the delicious bubbly. “Hmm, very good.”

“It is,” he said, after taking a sip. Placing the glass on the table, he reached for both of my hands. “Do you know how much I love you, Monica? I can't even imagine my life without you.”

I leaned forward and my lips found his. “I love you more than I thought possible,” I told him. “You're everything to me, Adam. There was a time in my life when I doubted I could love somebody like this, but then I met you and I knew I'd been waiting all my life for you.”

“This sure hasn't been an easy first year of marriage for us, and it's been the hardest on you, what with Clarissa coming to live with us and then Carrie Sue showing up. I just want you to know how much it means to me that you've hung in there and not given up.”

“Given up?”

“I know what your history has been in the past. When the going gets tough, you had a habit of running.”

I pressed my lips together and looked down at the flute in my hand, but didn't say anything. He was right. I knew that. I wasn't known for having the tolerance for working things out. It was always much easier to simply walk away. But with Adam it was different—I couldn't conceive of spending my days without him. No matter what.

I took another sip of champagne and then sighed. “I guess maybe that's what
real
love is all about. When you've found your soul mate—that one person in the world you don't want to be without—well, there isn't anything that you can't get through together, and it's you who made me realize that.”

Adam took my champagne glass and placed it on the table. Standing, he reached for my hand and pulled me up beside him.

I felt his lips crush mine as my arms went around his neck and I was instantly filled with desire.

“Come on,” he said, his voice husky, as he led me toward the bed. “Let me show you how I love you.”

 

Sitting in the beautiful dining room of the Verandah Grill, I felt a happiness that had seemed to be missing the past few months.

Following a passionate session of lovemaking, I also felt sexy and very desirable.

Adam looked across the table and smiled. “God, Monica, you look exceptionally beautiful tonight.”

“You make me
feel
beautiful.” I was glad I'd chosen the sleeveless black dress. Simple, yet classy.

“Oh, it doesn't have a thing to do with me. I saw the heads that turned when we stepped off the elevator.”

I laughed. “Hmm, it must be my afterglow still radiating. God, when was the last time we made love in the afternoon?”

“I don't know, but it's been much too long, and we'll have to be sure to fix that when we get home. Send Clarissa to my mom's after school for cookies and milk and I'll come home early.”

I laughed again. “You're terrible, but not a bad idea.”

The waiter arrived with our entrees and smiled. “Bon appétit. Special occasion?”

“Yes,” Adam said without hesitating. “Actually it is. We're celebrating our love for each other.”

The waiter inclined his head. “And
that
is the best possible thing to celebrate. Enjoy.”

“That was so sweet. You really
are
quite the romantic.”

Adam smiled. “For you, always.”

“Oh, this duck looks delicious,” I said, picking up my fork.

We savored the wonderful food and followed the meal with coffee.

I exhaled a breath as I tried to formulate thoughts in my mind before speaking.

Adam looked up. “Anything wrong?”

“No,” I said, shaking my head. “There's just something I want to discuss with you. Actually, it's been on my mind since we were supposed to come here in December.”

“And you've waited three months to talk about it?”

“Yeah, I guess I just wanted the time and privacy for us. And maybe the subject is better discussed on neutral territory.”

Adam's face registered confusion. “What is it?”

“Well,” I began and found myself nervously fingering the spoon beside my coffee. “I've just kinda been wondering…what would be your thoughts…” I stopped to be sure I phrased my question properly. “What would be your thoughts about possibly having a baby. Together. The two of us.” My eyes shot to Adam's face to gauge his reaction and I saw his dumbfounded expression. “I know, I know,” I rushed on. “We had kinda agreed not to have children before we married, but…”

Adam was shaking his head. “No, Monica, you have that wrong.
We
didn't agree not to have children.
You
indicated that you were pretty sure you didn't want any—and I supported your decision.”

“Oh,” was all I could manage to say, and I looked up to see a smile cross my husband's face.

He reached across the table for my hand and gave it a squeeze. “Are you saying you've changed your mind? You'd like to get pregnant?”

“I think so. Maybe.”

“What changed your mind?”

“I'm not really sure. Maybe Clarissa did.”

“Clarissa?” Adam said with surprise.

“Yeah, ever since she found out that Zoe's getting a baby brother, she's been dropping hints about having a brother or sister of her own.”

“I did catch a few of those hints, but I didn't think you were paying any attention to them.”

“I guess I was paying more attention than I thought. Both of us had no siblings. While that's certainly not the worst thing in the world, being an only child can be lonely. You have nobody to share your history with—only childhood friends, if you stayed in touch.”

“Very true,” Adam agreed.

“I think too my change of feeling might have to do with the fact that I'm not such a bad stepmom after all. I'm beginning to think that everyone was right—kids don't come with a manual, so you learn as you go along. Now, of course, I understand that a baby would be a whole lot different than raising a nine-year-old, but…since I haven't done too badly with Clarissa and I've really enjoyed learning to be a mom to her, well, there just might be some hope that I could be a
real
mom. Maybe I was wrong when I thought I might be one of those women who just shouldn't attempt motherhood.”

“Like Sybile?” Adam said softly.

I nodded. “Yeah…and like Carrie Sue.”

A huge smile now covered Adam's face and he squeezed my hand again. “I love you so much, Monica. I always respected your possible choice of never having a child with me. You were honest from the beginning on how you felt about this, and I accepted that. I loved you way too much not to. However, if you would like us to have a child together, my answer is yes, definitely
yes
.”

In that moment I didn't think I could possibly love Adam any more than I did, and I also hadn't realized how much I desperately wanted to create a new life with him—a part of both of us.

I swiped at the moisture in my eyes and smiled. “Okay. Okay, then. I will not be starting my next cycle of pills in two days. That's the end of those.”

Adam brought my hand to his lips. “And think of all the fun we'll have making this happen,” he said, winking at me.

M
onday afternoon Adam and I were sitting at an outdoor coffee shop. The weather had been spring-perfect during our stay. Dogwoods and azaleas were in full bloom all over Augusta, creating a riot of color.

I felt the warm sun on my back and smiled. All was right in my world. Now that Adam and I had had the discussion about pregnancy, it was like a weight had been lifted from me. I was still surprised by the fact that getting pregnant was something I wanted even more than I realized. For so long I had convinced myself that like my grandmother, I just wasn't cut out to be a mother, but when Clarissa came into my life she made me see I was wrong.

“So what other shopping do you want to do this afternoon?” Adam asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I just wanted to get something for Clarissa. Maybe we could browse the shops along Broad Street.”

“Sounds like a good idea,” he said, taking the last sip of his coffee. “All set?”

I stood up and reached for his hand. “Yup.”

A shop called Once in Time caught my eye. “Let's try there,” I said, pointing to a display of antique dolls in the window.

Stepping inside, I inhaled the wonderful scent of lavender. The small shop had tables with artfully arranged lamps, potpourri, lace tablecloths, and assorted antique items. Dolls with bisque faces perched on swings that hung from the ceiling.

“Hello,” a woman said, walking toward us. “Looking for anything in particular?”

“Just browsing,” I told her. “You have a lovely shop.”

“Thank you. All of the items have come from estate sales and many have a history or story behind them.”

“Oh, that's interesting,” I said as my gaze caught a table at the back of the shop with music boxes and I walked toward them.

I was immediately drawn to a porcelain egg-shaped design. A base of white was surrounded with a perimeter consisting of four rows of pearls and gold braid. The open egg shape was attached to the base with gold filigree, and more pearls and gold decorated the egg top. But it was what was inside the oval egg that drew my attention. A young girl, dressed in a period Victorian frock, a large lavender bow holding back her hair, and standing beside her looking up with adoration was a cream-colored dog that was a replica of Billie.

“Oh, Adam, look,” I whispered, reaching out to gently touch the top of the music box.

“That certainly looks like Billie with Clarissa, doesn't it?”

“That's exactly what I thought.” I picked it up, found the turnkey beneath the base, and wound it a few times. The haunting melody of “Amazing Grace” filled the shop as shivers ran through me. That was the song Sybile had insisted we play at her funeral—about being lost and then found. “Oh, my God,” I said.

Adam must have remembered me telling him this, because he nodded. “A coincidence?” he questioned.

“I don't know, but it's certainly uncanny.” I turned around to find the shop owner watching us. “Do you know the history on this piece?”

“I do,” she said. “It's one of my favorite items, but let me get the book and read it to you.”

She went behind the counter and produced a large, leather-bound journal. Skimming through the pages, she nodded. “Here it is. This particular piece has been here since I opened four years ago, and I've never understood why it hasn't sold. It's a bit pricey, but not outrageous. I obtained it from an estate sale and always felt bad that there was no family left from the original owner, because it really was an heirloom and should have been passed on.”

“Is that all you know about it?” I asked.

“No, when I purchased it from the owner's attorney he gave me this paper that went with it.” The woman removed the paper from an envelope and began to read. “Given to my beloved daughter, Abigail, age ten, September, nineteen twenty, when we almost lost you to pneumonia.”

My hand flew to my face. “That's terrible and so sad.”

The woman smiled. “Actually, it's a very nice story. The woman's attorney explained to me that what had been related to him was that the outcome for the daughter didn't look good. However, within a few days of purchasing this music box and placing it at the child's bedside, she began to improve and had a full recovery.”

“Are you saying it has magical qualities?”

She shrugged. “Who am I to question? I can only pass on the story that was told to me and the history that goes with the music box.”

I looked up at Adam and saw him nod.

“Well, it's found a very special home now,” he said. “For our daughter. Could you wrap it for us, please?”

A smile crossed the woman's face. “Certainly, and call me silly, but I can't help but feel it's been here all this time just waiting for you.”

 

After we left the shop we decided to stroll through the Riverwalk. We had gone there the day before and I loved the quiet beauty. It was a two-tiered park that ran along the Savannah River, filled with leafy trees, flowering bushes, and benches to sit and gaze at the water.

Holding Adam's hand, I watched a boat lazily make its way down the river. “Let's sit on that bench up there for a while. It's such a gorgeous day and I really like this place.”

After we'd been sitting for a few minutes, Adam said, “So I take it you're enjoying your stay in Augusta?”

I felt his arm go around my shoulder and leaned into it. “This has been such a wonderful time. I love the town itself, but being here with you is what's made it so special. So yes, I'm really enjoying Augusta.”

He kissed the top of my head. “Good, because we still have another full day tomorrow—our last one.”

I sighed, drinking in the goodness of what we shared.

At that moment, Adam's cell phone rang and he flipped it open. “Mom? Is everything okay?”

I glanced at my watch—just past three. Clarissa would be finishing up a program that the library had arranged for the children for the week of spring break.

“What? When did this happen?”

I saw him grip the phone tighter and I knew by the worried expression on his face that something was wrong.

“What is it?” I whispered.

Sliding the phone away from his mouth, he said, “Clarissa's sick.”

“Okay, go ahead, Mom. I'm listening. Right, well, of course you did the right thing. Oh, dear God, ICU?”

I saw his face crumple, and all of a sudden I got a queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

He stood up and indicated we were leaving as he continued to listen to Opal on the other end of the line. “Yes, yes, put him on.”

Keeping pace with Adam, I walked beside him toward the parking lot.

“Yes, hello,” I heard him say before he paused again. “Of course, whatever you think is best. Absolutely. Is she awake?” Another pause. “I see. Okay, well, as you know, we're in Augusta, Georgia.” Adam swung his wrist up to look at his watch. “We'll need about an hour and we'll be on the road, and the drive is about six hours. Okay, thank you. Mom? Okay, we're heading back to the Partridge Inn now to check out. I'll call you on your cell once we get on the road to get an update. You're not there alone, are you? Oh, good. Okay. Love you too.”

I held my breath waiting for Adam to explain what had happened. He leaned against the car, dropped his face into his hands, and began to sob. My arms went around him.

Attempting to compose himself he said, “Clarissa wasn't feeling well yesterday. Just a headache and complained of feeling tired. This morning she complained of a stiff neck and she had a fever, so my mom didn't let her go to the library. She called the pediatrician and he said to bring her to Shands right away.” He stopped to take a breath and shook his head. “The doctor thinks it could be bacterial meningitis.”

The bottom suddenly fell out of my world.

He zapped the remote, unlocking the doors, and we jumped in.

“Oh, God, Adam. What are they doing for her? Is she awake?”

“He said it was good that my mother got Clarissa there so fast. They started IV antibiotics on her right away, because he suspected meningitis from the symptoms. No, she's not awake. He explained they've sedated her to keep her quiet. She's in intensive care and he needed my permission to do a spinal tap, which will tell us for sure if it's bacterial meningitis.”

The next hour passed in a blur. Adam checked out while I threw our clothes into the luggage. When we got to the lobby with the bellman pushing the cart, the manager came from behind the desk, extending his hand.

“I'm so terribly sorry about your daughter's emergency. Please know I'll have her in my prayers.”

Both Adam and I mumbled a thank-you and headed to the car.

We were on I-16 heading toward I-95 when he passed me his cell phone. “Could you dial my mom's cell number, please?”

I did and then passed the phone back to him.

“Okay,” he said. “We're on our way. Any change there?” He was silent listening to Opal's voice on the other end of the line. “Oh, they think it's bacterial meningitis? Now what?” More silence. “Okay, I'll call you in a couple hours, but if there's any change whatsoever, you call us.”

I placed my hand on his leg. “They did the spinal tap?”

He nodded. “Yeah, and it looks definitive. They're now doing other tests to identify the bacteria. They'll culture the fluid and have those results in about two days. This will determine which antibiotics are effective against that particular bacterium. Then they'll be able to adjust the antibiotic they've already started if they need to.”

I was having a hard time digesting all of this. My mind seemed foggy and I refused to let myself think any further than the next moment.

“Who's with your mother at the hospital?”

“Hank. He's the one that drove them. After the pediatrician said they needed to get Clarissa there right away, she called Hank. And Dora took Billie back to her house.”

I felt Adam give me a squeeze as his hand encircled mine, and for the first time that I could remember I didn't feel the warm security his touch had always given me.