Casimir's Journey (22 page)

Now Lisette looked up at him. “He is indeed, but he is the Crown Prince of Laurycia, and he is going to marry our princess. There is nothing to be done for that. You would do well to remember that. Also know that he is in a foul temper, and some of that is specifically directed at you.”

“I’m used to it. I seem to bring out the best in people,” Hadden said, with a straight face.

“I’ve heard that you are a good conversationalist. I shall have to correct that notion. You’re as mad as a loon.” She rolled her eyes. “Please bring the Princess Thea and her betrothed some refreshment,” she said, snagging the attention of a footman hurrying past.

“Yes, my lady.” He sped up, which didn’t seem possible.

“Why does Sebastian bring such a pall with him?”

“You have absolutely no sense, do you? Or decorum? Come, we need to get back, but walk slowly. Slowly, fool!” Her arm pulled on his, slowing his pace.

“All right. I’ll walk slowly. If you tell me why people act so around him.”

“He’s furious. Just furious. He thinks everyone should have told Casimir to stand down and cease his attentions to Thea. No one did because at that point, everyone knew she loved him. I think,” She lowered her voice, looking nervous, “The king was hoping for a way out of this. Sebastian was here before they became engaged, and he was simply charming. He has not been so since everything—” her mouth twisted, and he could see she was thinking of the challenges, and the deaths, and the mystery behind all of it. “He does not inspire people as the future king should. He knows it, and it only serves to make him angrier, rather than shift his behavior.” She sighed.

“And your mistress?”

She gave him a look that declared him the most foolish man ever. “She grieves.”

Of course. Her prince had died.

“Then let us go and cheer her,” he said, stepping more lively. “No need to leave her with a surly prince.

“Lower your voice, Sir Hadden! We can be whipped for such talk!”

“Indeed? For speaking freely. Well, if questioned, I shall declare you horrified at my ignoble behavior and talk.”

They reached the area of the garden where people still sat. Conversation was occurring, although not with any liveliness.

He went straight to the cushions that Thea sat on. Sebastian had not sat down with her, but stood, arms still behind his back, looking unhappy.

The man’s as unhappy as she is, he thought. He followed Sebastian’s gaze, and saw that he watched Adelaide, who sat with Serafina and Mirabelle and several young men. They were laughing, but not loudly.

“My lady, I have served Gallivas all my life. Only as a humble soldier, not one such as yourself. What do you enjoy most about your duties?”

Thea turned to him, her eyes empty. Sebastian tore his gaze from Adelaide and looked down on him, his face mocking.

“Looking for tips on ruling, knight?” His sneer was like a sword, and Hadden could swear he saw people who heard him flinch.

“No, my lord, not really. I am interested in how the responsibility of a kingdom is different from the responsibility of a commander of an army. Not having had the chance to converse with those who are being taught to lead a kingdom, I thought I’d ask. You’re welcome to be a part of the conversation,” he added.

Sebastian’s eyes narrowed, and Hadden knew he was treading on dangerous ground. He wasn’t sure why he’d asked what he did. He just didn’t know how to talk the normal fiddle-faddle that seemed to pass for courtly conversation. It was a waste, in his opinion. He’d discussed interests and learning and passions with the other princesses. What else did one talk about with a woman who was in mourning? Her lost love? How she was feeling today?

Sebastian began to speak, but Thea held up a hand, forestalling him. “How does it feel when you go into battle, Sir Hadden? What do you feel then?”

He cocked his head, thinking. “I am all in a whirl, honestly, my lady. I am hoping that all the plans go well, and all who need to play their parts do so. I am hoping that I lose none of my men. I am hoping that I get into the fray enough that I will do some damage to the enemy personally.”

She raised her brows. “You enjoy warfare?”

“Don’t you? Isn’t ruling a great deal like warfare? You must work with those who may or may not be an ally. You must protect those who serve you, or serve the cause that you do. You are the leader and make the decisions.”

“What do you do when you’ve lost one of your company?” Her eyes focused on him, and he could see this was a loaded question. He wouldn’t lie to her.

“I write a letter to his mother telling her and his father of his bravery, and how he gave his life for something more. Then I salute the ghost of the man I’ve lost, and I live with it.” He looked into the distance.

“How do you live with it?” Her voice was a whisper.

“I must. I don’t know exactly how. I didn’t kill them, and in fact, did all that I could to keep them safe. We are in a profession where even that is sometimes not enough. Such is true of princes, as well, I would think.” he finished.

He could hear the soft gasps of several ladies nearby.

“Some princes,” Sebastian interjected. Thea looked up at him, and the naked pain in her face made Hadden wince. And she was to marry this lout, this little boy masquerading as a man? This rube who hurt her for his own pride? He could feel his own anger surging forth.

“Oh! Oh my goodness!” Lisette, who’d sat down nearby, jumped up suddenly. “Oh, my lord Sebastian, please forgive me!” She was the picture of a frightened young lady. What was she about? That didn’t seem to be her at all.

“What?” Sebastian looked at her, not bothering to hide her irritation.

“Before we came out, a footman asked for you. He was from the king! My lord, I am so sorry! I was busy readying my lady, and I forgot to tell you!” Her cheeks were red, and she held her hands up to her face, the picture of misery.

“What? You stupid woman,” Sebastian grumbled. He looked down, and Hadden could see the struggle within the man. He didn’t want to ignore the summons from the king, but he also did not wish to leave his prize here, unattended.

Hadden looked away. Enough watched the prince. He had no need to.

“My lady, I shall return to you,” Sebastian said, bowing to Thea. He took his leave of no one else, and stalked away from the party, heading for the castle.

There was silence after he left, and then Thea reached over and touched Lisette’s hand. The hum of conversation went higher, and with a lightness that wasn’t there moments before.

“Why does he cast such a shadow?” Hadden said aloud.

Everyone turned to look at him. His mouth went the wrong direction again.

“You are speaking of a prince and my intended,” Thea said, although there was no heat in her words.

“That is all well and good, but it doesn’t mean that he has to make everyone else unhappy.” This was common sense to him.

“Where is that footman?” Lisette asked, looking around.

“Sir Hadden, would you walk with me? I fear I’ve sat still for too long.” Thea stood, brushing off her gown. “Lady Lisette, will you accompany us?”

“Of course, my lady.”

Just then the footman ran to them, tray in hand.

“Shall we take refreshment, Sir Hadden?” Thea asked, taking a cup for herself.

“If you would like, yes,” he took a cup. “Your wish is my command. Lead on, my lady.”

Everyone made to stand as Thea walked away, but she waved them back with a hand. She moved towards the opposite end of the garden. Hadden could see she expected him to catch up.

He did. They walked in silence for a few moments. Unlike when she’d joined the party, she was not as lost or sad looking.

“You should not devil him, sir,” she said. She didn’t look at him, nor did she break stride. “He is not a good person to cross.”

“Then why do you keep the engagement?”

Lisette muttered something behind them. Hadden couldn’t tell what it was, and decided he probably didn’t want to know.

“You think I have any say in the matter?” Thea was clearly bitter. Now she did look at him. “I have absolutely no voice in my engagement, Sir Hadden.”

“Would you have married Casimir?” He could tell that the question bothered her. His estimation of her rose, ever so slightly.

“Had my father instructed me to do so, yes.” There was a tone in her voice he couldn’t understand.

“Do you really have so little input over your own life?”

She turned and looked at him with ancient eyes. “Welcome to life as a royal daughter. I have less freedom and input, as you call it, than you do as a soldier. I am more at the mercy of my father than you are to your commander.”

“Do you want to marry Sebastian?”

She looked away, and her face was contemplative. “I thought he was a nice man, before I knew he’d asked for me. I thought he was kind and caring. I think it’s more of an act for him than not, at present.”

“You know his affections are elsewhere?” No sense in being shy about it.

She smiled at him, really smiled. “I have been…encouraging of such.” Then her face fell. “Casimir told me I was being unkind, raising the hopes of my sister.” She lapsed into silence again.

He needed a break from Prince Casimir. He was everywhere, like a heavy cloak that everyone wore. The sadness surrounding him every time he was mentioned was disconcerting. Hadden felt that he never made any progress that wasn’t negated by something Prince Casimir had said, or done, or not done. He rubbed the back of his neck, feeling the itch there.

He looked at Thea, who was lost in her own thoughts again. “My lady, I never met Prince Casimir. He sounds, however, a good man. An honorable man. He would not, if he loved you, wish to see you suffer like this. I cannot say for sure, of course, but it is my feeling.”

Her head whipped around to him. “You’re right. It doesn’t help, however. I can’t believe he’s gone. I dream of him all the time. Lately, my dreams are changing, he is changing, and I feel like I am losing him for good!” Her voice rose, and he could see that others nearby looked over to see what they were talking of. The pain was evident not only in her words, but in every aspect of her.

Watching her, his heart jumped a little, and he felt his empathy reach to her, wanting to…help? Hold her? He shook his head. Something. He was unsure of what.

Her lady-in-waiting moved closer. “Perhaps, my lady, this is not the best—”

“No!” Thea brushed her off. “I’m tired of never speaking of him or speaking of him only in whispers. He’s gone, but it’s not a crime to speak his name! I miss him.” She stopped at a small bench and sat, looking up at Hadden, eyes pleading for understanding.

He sat next to her, not taking his eyes off her. This was a different woman than he’d seen, thus far. He felt drawn to her in a way that really had no basis. It didn’t matter. She drew him.

“My lady, you are welcome to speak of what or whomever you wish to me. Loss is something we must all handle in our own way. No two people address loss and grief the same way. If you must marry my lord Sebastian, how will you live?”

She looked at him, her eyes both ancient and sad again. “I won’t. I am fairly certain I shall waste away.” She turned away to look across the garden. “Here he comes now,” she said in a dreamy, vacant voice. “It’s easier not to fight him, but he takes so much. He doesn’t seem to notice or care.” She sighed. “Poor Addi. She’d be so much better for him, but…” her voice faded. “Thank you for the conversation, Sir Hadden. Lady Lisette, I wish to retire to my rooms. Let us be on our way.”

With a speed that belied her state, she and her lady-in-waiting left. Hadden sat, watching the two women hurry away.

Why did she affect him so? She was lost and becoming more lost. His job was to save all of them, not just one. Right now, however, all he wanted to do was save Thea.

Why? It made no sense. Several of her sisters were more attractive, and most far more merry and engaging, even under their sorrow. Yet he felt drawn to her, to Thea, to the cold fish, as Roysten kept calling her.

Roysten joined him. He’d been trailing them discreetly. “You’re just heading right into disaster,” he said quietly. “Sebastian hates you. He was ranting about you to the men you bested before he brought Thea out here. And now, since you were last with her, I suggest we find somewhere else to be, somewhere where he won’t make much of a fuss.”

“That’s a good idea. Do you think her pretty?” He was still watching Thea.

“What? You’re going daft, man. Have you had too much sun? It doesn’t matter if she’s pretty. I can’t have you being skewered before you ever get a chance to solve the mystery! Pull yourself together!”

“You’re right,” he looked back at Roysten. “Let’s go be charming some more. See if you can get me seated by her tonight, though” He turned back the direction he and Thea had walked, intending to join the princesses again.

Even as he sat down among them once more, he still felt the eerie calm and the sad acceptance of the eldest. It haunted him.

He laughed, and chatted, and could see why so many thought the princesses worth the risk. They were a delightful family.

But they were not Thea.

“Don’t mind our sister,” Isobel said in an undertone. “She is melancholy. She has good reason,” She looked off across the gardens.

“I would agree with that assessment, my lady.” He watched Isobel carefully. There was something there. “It seems, from what I have heard, Prince Casimir was a great favorite.”

Her eyes slid towards him, although she didn’t move. “He was, indeed. With us all.” He could swear there were tears in her eyes.

“Do you hope to be saved from this?”

“From what?” Her voice was a harsh whisper, and now she did turn her head towards him. Her eyes were angry—and afraid.

“From this great evil that is upon you.” He wanted to see if she would react as Adelaide had.

Her eyes grew wide. “There is nothing I can tell you, Sir Hadden. I am sorry.” She got up, and went over to one of her sisters. Sybbl, he thought.

He leaned back on his arms, thinking. She’d said the same sort of thing that Adelaide had. It had to be something the sisters all knew about if they were saying the same thing and behaving like spooked horses in response.

He hoped, once again, that Grizelle had not led him wrong.