Carry Me Home (24 page)

“Betrayal.”

“Betrayal,” he agreed. “But after a long time and a whole lot of denial, I realized that she thought I’d betrayed her, too. I hadn’t kept up my end of the deal.”

“That was the deal?” she said, sounding outraged for him. “I didn’t think that was the way the deal worked. I thought that was what the whole ‘for richer, for poorer, for better, for worse’ thing meant. And you weren’t even poorer, right? You weren’t even worse.”

“Call it not richer. Not that I have anything to complain about. I invested, and anyway, I’ve got the farm. I could live just fine on the proceeds of that. It doesn’t do bad at all. That ground rent I told you about, that I pay Luke and Theresa? That’s a hundred grand apiece. Just the rent on a thousand acres.”

“A hundred . . . thousand . . .
dollars
? You mean . . .
extra
? A year? Apiece?”

“Yep,” he said. “It’s hard work, but it’s a good farm. A good living. But not private-jet money. Not vacation-house money.”

“Not a house in Puerto Vallarta.”

“Pretty good memory you’ve got there, Professor. Of course, she could buy it herself. She got half of everything I’d made since we got married, and we were married for three very good-earning years. But she doesn’t tend to look at it that way.”

“I think you’re being way too charitable,” she said. “Way too understanding. I think you should be
mad
.”

“Well,” he pointed out, “I tried that. It’s been more than a year now, remember? I tried the mad thing. I tried it
hard
. It didn’t exactly make me feel better. So after a while, I decided to try something else. Been doing all right with it, up until today. And I’ll do all right again. Just might take me a little while to remember that.”

They’d been sitting in front of her house for more than fifteen minutes, and she seemed to realize it at last.

“All right,” she said, sounding a little shaken. “All right. You’re not on the rebound.”

“Nope. But ready to start up with somebody new, maybe? Yep. I’m that.”

“Even if she’s got demons of her own?”

“Hell, darlin’,” he said with a sigh, “we’ve all got demons. You’ve got demons. I’ve got demons. All God’s children got demons. I guess the only difference is, who’s running the show. You, or the demons.”

FOOTPRINTS

“Well,” she said, because she was too rattled by everything he’d shared to say much else. This wasn’t who she’d thought Cal was. For somebody who was supposed to be so smart, she wasn’t feeling very smart at all. There was so much more to him than she’d ever guessed, and it made her want him more than ever. “I guess I’d . . . better go in. Since Rochelle won’t be home until later on this afternoon, and I can’t go over there now.”

She was babbling, because he already knew that. She’d already told him that she’d called Rochelle and made the plan.

“I’ll come in with you,” he said. “Check it out.”

He got out of the truck with her, and she was glad of it, and they walked around the side of the house together.

“Nobody’s shoveled yet,” he said, his boots sinking into the drifted snow of the walk.

“I think my landlords are out of town.”

The significance of that hit her at the same time it did Cal. “So who,” she asked slowly, “made these?”

Tracks through the snow. Barely indentations, because they were partially filled in. Because it had snowed through most of the night.

“Junior!” Cal called sharply. “Come back.” The dog circled around, sat in the snow beside them, and Cal crouched to examine the faint marks. “Somebody walked this last night,” he said. “Come on. Let’s take a look.”

They walked the rest of the way to her door, and the faint tracks continued on and around the walkway to the . . . Her heart gave a sickening thud. To the sliding-glass door at the back.

“He thought it would be shoveled,” Cal said. “Or he didn’t think it mattered.”

“Because even if I saw it, even if I figured it out,” Zoe said, “nobody would believe me.” She was shivering from more than the cold. He’d been here. He’d looked into her windows, checked for . . . checked for access. He’d been planning. She could swear she felt his presence, and the hair on the back of her neck was rising.

It wasn’t just fear, though. It was anger. That he could wipe out all the closeness of the day, all the good things, just like that. Just by leaving his tracks in the snow.

“I’m not going to let him do this,” she said, her voice low. “I’m not going to let him take away my life like this, or anybody else’s life. It’s not fair. It’s not right.”

“No,” Cal said, and there was nothing easygoing about his face now. “You’re cold. Let’s go in. He’s not inside,” he added, seeing the moment when the thought struck her. “Those tracks are from last night, and they go both ways. He came, he looked around, and he left.”

She tried to laugh. “Sorry. I’m not much of an outdoorsman.”

“Luckily,” he said, “I am.”

Inside, he prowled around, Junior at his heels, testing locks, rattling windows. “We’ll go to the hardware store,” he told her. “Get a dowel to put in the runner of that sliding door, get some alarms for that and the front door. And I’ve got a couple other ideas, too. But I don’t think you should be here alone today.”

“No.” She didn’t even want to sit down. “I’ll go work at my office,” she decided. “Can you give me a minute to change?”

“I can do better than that. I’ll wait for you, and we’ll go out to lunch. Then the hardware store, get this place fixed up so at least you can come back and forth. Then Junior and I will take you on up to the university, walk you up to your office. As long as you get Rochelle to pick you up from there tonight, get a ride with her on Monday if your car’s not done, you’ll be all set. Well, mostly set,” he amended, “because I’m going to be giving you girls some self-defense instructions, too. And some home protection. I don’t really like the two of you being alone at her place. That’s not very secure, either. I’ll come by tomorrow and get you started with that.”

“Whoa,” she said. “I mean, sounds good, but . . .”

“Yeah,” he said. “Bossy. Can’t help it. My mom says I came out like that. All right, let’s try this a new way. That’s my idea. How does it sound to you?”

“Good,” she decided. “Great. How do you know what Rochelle’s place is like?” she asked distractedly. She could stay with Rochelle for a week or so max, because her friend’s apartment was just too small. What about after that? Maybe Rochelle wanted a roommate, a bigger place? Zoe would feel so much better if she weren’t alone. If there
were
a bigger place to rent, which wasn’t likely, not in the middle of the semester, and anyway, she had a lease, and she couldn’t afford double rent, that was for sure. So she was going to be coming back here alone. No choice. She hoped that Cal did have some ideas. She was going to need some ideas.

“Well, not because I slept with her,” he said, and she tried to remember what they’d been talking about. “I walked her home, remember? After I danced with you, walked you home, and you shot me down.”

“Oh, yeah.” She was smiling again, because Cal had that effect on her. “I do remember that. Did you mind?”

“Hell, yeah, I minded. But I got my kiss in the end, didn’t I? Goal-oriented, that’s what we call that. But then, you know all about that, too, don’t you? Just a different goal, maybe.”

“Or a one-track mind.”

“Can’t help it,” he sighed. “My mind just keeps going right on down that track. Even if you’re wearing my mother’s underwear, and princess, anytime you want to go on and change out of those, it won’t be soon enough for me.”

She laughed. She might have a crazy stalker after her, she was being forced to escape her apartment until she and Cal could fortify it—and still, she laughed.

“I didn’t notice it stopping you,” she said. “But you wait here, and when I come out again, I’ll be wearing my own underwear. I’m not saying you’re going to be seeing it right away, but I can put your mind at ease, in case you’re imagining it.”

“Oh, darlin’,” he said, “I’ll be imagining it.”

Cal did everything he’d promised. And the next day, he came over to Rochelle’s, too, gave them both some pretty good self-defense instruction, and then took them out to dinner. If there was one thing Cal was, it was thorough.

“The only thing I miss about California and Seattle,” he said, taking a dubious bite of Senor Fred’s special enchilada, “is the ethnic food. A beef enchilada isn’t supposed to have hamburger in it. Or canned sauce on top of it. But there are still some things we do better around here. Music and beer, for two. And that was a segue,” he informed Zoe. “Since I know how you love a man who uses those two-bit words.”

“Mmm,” she said, reflecting that fish probably wasn’t the wisest choice of dinner entrée in the Inland Northwest. “A segue to what?”

“I’m about to smoothly invite the two of you to go dancing on Friday. They’ll have a band again, and I think you both need a distraction from recent unfortunate events. And as for you, princess—I think you need another lesson from somebody who knows how.”

She paused with the bite halfway to her mouth, then went on and ate it, taking her time. “Uh-
huh
,” she said, doing her best not to read the light in his blue eyes. “That was really smooth right there, too, by the way.”

“Well, I thought so. So, dancing?”

“Both of us?” Rochelle asked from beside Zoe. “You going harem-style these days? Because, bud, think again.”

He laughed. “Nope. I’m going to get Luke to come along and be your date. If you say yes, of course,” he amended quickly.

“And does he know this?” Rochelle asked. “Because I’m not exactly getting the warm fuzzies here.”

“He will when I tell him,” Cal said cheerfully. “So, what do you say?” he asked, looking between the two of them. “Two good-looking Jackson brothers? Pretty hard offer to refuse?”

“I told you,” Zoe said, trying hard to look lofty and not to laugh, “you’re not that good-looking.”

Rochelle stared at her, a startled laugh escaping, and Cal grinned.

“My body’s all right,” he informed Rochelle. “But I’m afraid that’s where it stops. That’s all right, princess. I’ll let you be the good-looking one. Plus, if we dance real close, you won’t have to look at my face.”

“Just feel your body, huh?” She couldn’t believe what was coming out of her mouth, but here it came anyway.

“Well,” he said, “that works for me, yeah.”

She didn’t have to wait, it turned out. He walked them home, looked at Zoe when they were standing outside Rochelle’s door, and said, “Want to climb up in the truck with me a minute, say good night?”

“Well, yeah,” she said. “I do.” Because she did. She wanted to kiss him, to snuggle up close and run her hands over his shoulders and arms, to feel him holding her. So big, and so secure.

They couldn’t do more than that, not parked on Main Street with the truck running, but it seemed she wanted whatever she could get. And Cal was generous. He gave it to her. For a good long time. He held her against him while his mouth nibbled and played, and when his lips slid around to the side of her neck and he bit down, she gasped.

“Cal,” she said.

“Hmm?” he asked against her skin.

She shifted on the seat, got a hand in his hair and drew him to her. “Oh,” she said. “Don’t stop.”

That got a laugh, and he obliged. He stayed there and teased her, found all her most sensitive spots until he had her leaning back against the door and writhing a little. Just from his mouth on her neck.

“I need . . .” she breathed.

“I know.” He brushed his mouth over hers again. Her lips were so sensitized they were tingling, and so was every other part of her. “I know what you need. But maybe not on Main Street.”

Now it was her turn to laugh. Not too steadily, because she was off-balance and no mistake.

He sat back, pulling her with him, and rested his forehead against hers. “Feels pretty good, huh?”

“Mmm,” she agreed, running a hand over his cheek, around to the short hair at the back of his neck. “Making out in a truck. Another new Idaho experience for me.”

“Well, I’d tell you it was new for me, but you’ve just described my entire teenage courtship ritual. But I never did it with you before, and that’s fairly special. Kinda looking forward to Friday. I hope you are, too.”

“I don’t really . . .” She backed off a little. “I don’t really have time for a relationship, though. I mean, I work a lot. A
lot
. Especially this year. And I don’t want you to be disappointed.”

“I noticed that,” he said. “Just wait until spring work starts. You’ll see that I don’t have time, either. But I’ll make some time for you all the same. It’s all about priorities.”

“You going to make me a priority?”

“Seems I just can’t help it.” He stroked her hair, smiled into her eyes. “It doesn’t seem to be the mind that’s calling the shots around here.”

“I guess the question is,” she said, “what is? The heart or the body?”

“Couldn’t it be both?”

“I guess.” She relaxed into his hand. “It feels like both,” she confessed. “But I’m glad you know about working a lot, too. I’ve always drawn these . . . boundaries, you know?”

“Yep,” he said. “I know all about boundaries.”

“But I wasn’t counting on this place. I wasn’t counting on you. Who knew I’d be such a sucker for a take-charge guy with a kind heart?”

“I’ve moved from bossy to take-charge, huh? I kinda like that. And I like the kind heart, for sure. You’ve got a pretty good heart of your own, Professor. Seems like you’ve got just the kind of heart I like.”