Carried Away: A Small Town Romance (The Moore Brothers Book 2) (12 page)

E
llie’s thoughts
were snarled and angry and she had no idea why she was reacting the way she was. James wanted to help her. Offered help she needed. She wasn’t great with the books and hiring a new cook was going to take more time and effort than she had to give right now. Her resources—financially, spiritually, emotionally—they were all tapped out. And here James was, offering her the very resources she needed.

Money.

Help.

Support.

And a strong set of arms to wrap around her.

He laid her down on the bed, ever so gently, careful not to shake or disturb her. He pulled the cover back and tucked himself around her, wrapped his body around hers and then pulled her close, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. It was good. So good.

“James?” she said after a long time of listening to the rhythm of his breath playing against the rhythm of her heart.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.” She could hear the smile in his voice. “But, why are you thanking me?”

She untangled herself from him and flipped over. Moonlight spilled through the windows facing the ocean and bathed the angles of his face in silver and shadow. “For being willing to help me. For holding me when I was about to come undone.”

“And you’re done coming undone?” Even in the dark, she could make out the wicked glimmer of humor in his eyes.

“I seem to have gotten myself re-done. I am no longer undone or in danger of any kind of un-done-ing of any sort.”

James propped his elbow on the pillow and leaned his head in his hand. “You’re accepting my help. I’ll give you the first bit of money tomorrow after work. If you prefer working at the counter instead of being in the kitchen, then we’ll figure out how to best utilize me at Good Beginnings, but you need my help and I have help to offer.”

Ellie started to protest, her pride working her mouth even though every ounce of her begged for the relief it would bring to have him at her side, propping her up when she was just about to fall. James put a finger to her lips and shushed her.

“You’re going to accept my help.” He smiled. “I’ll be offended if you don’t. Besides, it’ll be good for me to have a purpose. Might even help get me out of this funk I’ve been in.”

How did he know exactly what to say? How did he know the two buttons to push to send her over the edge? Of course she didn’t want to offend him and of course she wanted to help him.

She swallowed and her throat tightened around what she wanted to say. “I don’t take help easily—”

James lifted his eyebrow. “You don’t say.”

“Okay, smartass. You want to hear what I have to say or don’t you?” Ellie gave him her best stern look, but the chagrined little boy face James put on made it kind of impossible not to smile.

“I’m sorry, Ellie. Please continue.”

“I do better on my own. Every time I let someone in, they let me down. For as long as I can remember. I’m sure there are people out there who wouldn’t let me down, I’m sure it’s just my crazy luck that I keep stumbling across the wrong people, but I decided a long time ago during Traumatic Foster Family Number Four that I’m better off doing things alone.”

She took a breath and waited for James to speak, but he stayed silent. The look in his eyes melted her heart and brought the tears back to the surface again. Compassion lit his face and made it more beautiful than normal and sitting here in the moonlit bedroom, with him looking at her like that, Ellie was a raw nerve. Defenseless. She was open to him and couldn’t decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

“Anyway,” she continued, voice quaking. “I’d love your help at the cafe. I’m not very good with the books. I’m not bad, but they stress me the hell out. And I don’t know how I’m going to hire a new weekend cook, so I’d love you around while I figure out how to make it all work.” A smile broke across his face and she looked away. “But the money? James, I can’t let you do that.”

He put a finger to her chin and lifted her face so she made eye contact with him. “It’s been decided.” She shook her head and tried to look away but he wouldn’t let her. “I have more than I need. More than I deserve. I choose to give some to you. Please don’t fight me on this.”

And for whatever reason, she didn’t. Maybe she was out of fight. Maybe she had opened her walls and let him in and didn’t want to close him out again. Maybe it was the look in his eyes or the feel of his skin on hers as he ran his thumb against her lips. Maybe it was a combination of all those things.

“Okay,” she whispered. “Thank you.”

She became overly aware of her heart clamoring in her chest, her breath tearing through her parted lips. The rustle of the ocean lapping against the beach. The scent of James’s skin, so close to hers. His lips, parting. His breath rustling in her hair.

His thumb traced her lips again and she darted her tongue out to taste him. His sharp intake of breath sent a jolt of electricity through her veins, ignited her body in a surge of heat. She pulled his thumb into her mouth, sucked on it and looked up at him through her eyelashes. His chest heaved and his eyes grew hungry, predatory and heavy with passion.

He shifted, pulling his thumb from her mouth and pressing his lips to hers. He kissed her softly, gently, as if he were afraid to move quickly, afraid to scare her away. His hands smoothed over her hair, traced her jaw and then came to rest on her cheeks. She opened to him, parting her lips and wrapping a leg around him, threading her fingers in his hair and returning his kiss with a passion she wasn’t prepared for.

She needed him. Needed his skin pressed to hers. Needed him to fill her. To protect her. She’d shown herself to him, been weak for him, and now she needed him to take her. To prove she was safe.

She ran her hands up under his shirt. “I love how strong you are,” she whispered against his lips as her fingers explored the ridges of his abs, the swell of his pecs.

He nuzzled her neck, kissing down her collarbone and pausing to pull her shirt over her head. “And I love how soft you are,” he said, kissing along the edges of her bra. Ellie arched her back, needing his lips on her, needing him to take her, to make her feel okay.

She pulled on his shirt, lifting it over his head and pressed her body against his. Skin to skin. Warmth to warmth. Hard to soft. His deft fingers unhooked her bra and flung it to the floor. Undid the button on her pants and slid them off. She lay on her back, her hair a halo of darkness spread across the white linen pillowcase.

“Sweet Ellie,” he murmured, looking down at her with too much compassion, too much care, too much emotion in his eyes. She couldn’t bare to see him like this. Couldn’t bare to see him want her and need her the same way she wanted him and needed him. It was too much. She couldn’t handle it. Her heart swelled until she thought it would burst and her throat tightened again. Too much emotion. Too much truth.

He slid his jeans off, his erection springing free and straining towards her and he was the most beautiful thing she’d ever seen. He kissed an ankle, and a calf, his mouth leading him up her legs, his hands tracing gentle paths up to her belly. He traced his tongue across her slit and she moaned, her core throbbing with need.

“Please, James. I need you. I need you inside me.” As she said it, she realized that she didn’t just mean physically. She needed him in her heart, past her defenses. She needed him to know all of her.

“I need to be inside you, too, sweet Ellie.”

She didn't have time to wonder if he understood what she really meant, if he knew that she needed him on more than one level. James positioned himself between her legs and in one slow thrust, sheathed himself deep inside her. She cried out and he groaned. Began rocking his hips and kissing her, his lips claiming hers.

“I need you,” she said, turning her head to the side as his movement gained speed and force, building her orgasm.

“I know.” He kissed her jawline. Suckled at her breast. “And I need you, too.”

His admission pushed her over the edge, her muscles clenching around him as she cried out, fists buried in the sheets at her side.

James sat up, grabbed her hips and put her legs up over his shoulders, increasing the friction, hitting a spot so deep inside her she didn’t know what to do with herself. He was taking her to a place she’d never been before, driving deeper and deeper, claiming more and more of her as his. Her first orgasm rolled right into a second and she came harder than she ever had before, her voice keening and sobbing as she gave herself to him.

With one final thrust, James came inside her, shuddering and collapsing down on top of her. His body pressed down on hers, sheltering her from the world, hiding even the moonlight. For one glorious moment felt safe, and then James went rigid. Sat up, eyes wide.

“Oh, fuck.”

She sat up on her elbows, fully aware that he was still inside her, but so afraid of his reaction. “What?”

“Oh, Ellie …” James swallowed hard. “Please tell me you’re on the pill.”

“
Y
es
,” Ellie said while everything inside her was screaming the truth. “I’m on the pill.” She had no idea why she lied to him. None whatsoever. But now that the lie was out, she couldn’t bring herself to take it back. Couldn’t stand the thought of seeing his face crumble with fear over what they’d just done.

He collapsed back on top of her, relief evident in the long breath he released. The sagging weight of his body as he let go of all the tension his fear had built inside him. “I’m clean, by the way,” he said. She almost didn’t hear him over the clamor of thoughts in her head. “Thought it’d be a good idea to get tested after I started, ummm, you know…”

James sat up and sought out eye contact and Ellie nodded, not trusting her words yet. What had she done? They’d just shared an amazingly intimate moment, one unlike anything she had ever experienced in all her life and she finished it off by lying to him? Ellie’s stomach spun and bile rose in her throat. What kind of person was she? Here he was being amazing to her, taking care of her, offering her money and help at work and a place to stay when she needed it. Wrapping her up in his arms and helping her feel safe.

And she repays it with dishonesty?

James caressed her cheek, leaned in for a kiss, smoothed her hair back from her face. “I got you,” he said. “I know you’ve been doing this whole life thing by yourself for a long time. But you’ve got me now and you’ll see how much better things can be when you’re part of a team.”

Ellie smiled and the tears that she had spent the evening fighting finally overwhelmed her.

Just tell him! Tell him you’re not on birth control,
screamed one part of her.

Don’t tell him. There’s no need for him to worry for the next couple weeks. The deed is done,
rationalized the other part.

You’ll lose him if you don’t tell.

You’ll lose him if you do tell.

And then, the worst thought of all.
It doesn’t matter because he’s not yours anyway.

James pulled her into his lap, the sheets bunching up underneath her legs, and held her close. He rocked her and whispered to her, letting her cry and promising that he was going to make things okay. Ellie sobbed. She sobbed for the woman who, after decades of locking people out had let someone in. She sobbed because she lied. She sobbed because she wanted to be honest with James just as much as she never wanted to admit that when it mattered most, she hid from him.

After a while, longer than she liked, she finally got herself under control. “Thank you,” she said, wiping her eyes.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me,” James said, slipping out from underneath her and grabbing a clean set of underwear and a pair of sweatpants from a drawer.

“I’m sorry.”

James headed into the bathroom, flicking on the light and winking at her from the doorway. “Don’t be sorry either.”

While he brushed his teeth, Ellie disappeared into the guest room to retrieve a set of pajamas and her toothbrush. She banished all thoughts of birth control, all thoughts about the terrible lie she told. Put them in a little box in the corner of her heart until morning when she could look at them intelligently. Besides, the chances of her being pregnant were next to zero.

Right?

And she could just stop in and get some samples of the pill at her gynecologist and everything was going to be okay.

Right?

H
er outlook was
way more positive after spending a night in James’s bed, his arm draped protectively around her, his breath rustling in her ear. He groaned when the alarm on her phone went off.

“How do you do this every morning?”

“I just do it. No time to think. The work still needs to be done.”

They danced around each other as they got ready. His hand grazing her lower back. Her fingers tracing a tattoo. Their eyes meeting over coffee. Smiles sweet and secretive as they made his bed together, straightening the sheets and pillows and pulling the comforter up in place.

After a quick breakfast of eggs from James’s fridge and toast from the almost too old loaf of bread Ellie brought, they climbed into her car and headed into downtown Bliss towards the cafe. James reached for Ellie’s hand and she threaded her fingers through his and pretended for just a second that this was all real. That it didn’t have an expiration date on it. That she was his and he was hers and this was their life.

He parked on the street directly in front of Good Beginnings, his headlights cutting a clear path through the darkness and illuminating the dining room. Except that was wrong. The lights should have reflected off the glass in the windows. Ellie squinted. Something was wrong.

“What the?” James cut the engine and killed the lights and Ellie’s body exploded with adrenaline. The front window was gone. Shattered. And from what she could see, the dining room had been destroyed. She threw open the door of the truck and practically hit the ground running.

“Ellie!” James was out of the truck, leaving the door open and the keys in the ignition. “Wait. Let me go in first.”

Ellie was shaking, barely understanding what he said to her, but let him take the keys from her. Something was spray painted across the door, the headlights from the truck casting their shadows over the words. Ellie could still make it out.

Whore.

The word scrawled in violent red paint right over the Good Beginnings logo. Ellie choked on a sob, anger and fear and something darker twisting in her already upset stomach. James unlocked the door and stepped in, flicking on a light.

Glass crunched under his feet. Ellie followed him inside and doubled over like she’d been punched in the gut. Everything was broken. The tables and chairs lay shattered and scattered across the floor amongst the shards of glass from the display case. The plates and the mugs she’d agonized over ordering were broken and strewn everywhere. The pastries and baked goods were smashed.

The walls screamed at her in red paint. Words like
whore
and
golddigger
,
slut
and
cunt
skewed madly across every possible surface. Ellie straightened and then put her hands right back on her knees and wretched. James put his hand on her back.

“Stay here. I’m going to make sure they’re gone.” He didn’t wait for her to respond. He just walked deeper into the cafe, disappearing behind the counter into the kitchen.

The moment she was alone, Ellie felt exposed. She followed him and found the kitchen just as ruined as the dining room. The office a disaster of shredded papers and the overwhelming scent of urine.

“You okay?”

Ellie turned to him, bringing her hands to her face and shaking her head. “What do I do?” she asked and then flared her hands, her eyes seeking the safety of his. “Why?”

“First, you call the police. Then, we’ll call your insurance company. The what’s are easy. The why? That’s not so easy. Who would do this?”

She shook her head, her hands covering her mouth again. Steve? But why? He hadn’t been happy when she’d kicked him out, but he hadn’t seemed unhinged or anything. She said as much to James who sighed and pulled her in close and just hugged her until she stopped shaking. What now?

The rest of the morning unfolded in a blur of phone calls and questions and bad news stacked on bad news. The cops showed up and ushered them outside, asking questions Ellie didn’t have answers to. As they draped crime scene tape around the entrance to her cafe, claiming the space she’d created for herself as theirs, she pulled her phone out and called her insurance company only for them to tell her the policy had lapsed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she said. James was at her side in an instant. Ellie started pacing while the woman on the phone checked and double-checked her information.

“Ma’am, I’m sorry. But it says here your policy was terminated last month due to non-payment.”

“You’re sure?” Ellie wracked her brain, trying desperately to remember when she had made the last payment. She would have written it down in her ledger in the office, to be transposed into the computer when she had the time. But she never had the time and the ledger always sufficed except right now, it was shredded to pieces and part of a crime scene in the cafe that wasn’t hers anymore.

Ellie hung up the phone and continued to pace, her knees threatening to deposit her on the ground if she stopped moving. James called her name, gently at first, but then with more insistence when she kept ignoring him, hands clenched into tight fists and shaking.

Finally, he grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to stop. “Ellie. Look at me. What happened?”

“There’s no insurance.” Her belly hollowed out and her lungs felt like she was trying to breathe water. “The policy lapsed.”

She didn’t say she thought she had paid it and he didn’t ask her what happened. Didn’t make her feel like a failure for missing a payment. Didn’t blame her for dropping the ball. He just pulled her in tight and hugged her.

“I got you,” he whispered, smoothing her hair. “I’ve got you, sweet Ellie.”

F
rom that point forward
, James was amazing. He parked her at the truck and dealt with the police. Answered the questions they had for him and then sat right next to her while they asked her the same set of questions they had asked her this morning. A crowd had gathered, whispering and pointing. Most were polite and left Ellie alone or offered some form of consolation if they caught her attention. James shielded her from that, too. Answering any questions and standing between Ellie and the onlookers.

James made several phone calls, his voice rat-a-tat-tatting directions at the people on the other line. After several hours of sitting and watching and feeling sick and useless, he caught her attention.

“Come on,” he said. “Let’s go.”

“I can’t go. What if they need me?” She gestured towards the police meandering around the cafe, looking just more dumbfounded than competent. Things like this didn’t happen in Bliss.

“They’ve got your cell number. If they need you, they’ll call.”

It took some convincing, but he finally got Ellie to leave after getting one of the officers to tell her it was okay. She didn’t ask James where he was taking her, just sat numbly in his truck, watching the ocean rolling up to the shore just like it did every other day. It was unnerving, seeing something so mundane and normal on the day her life had been totally upended.

She had nothing. An apartment without power. A relationship without a future. No family to turn to. And now, the one thing she dedicated her life to had been rendered nothing more than a pile of crumbled glass and shredded papers, violent red paint spewing hateful words dripping down the walls.