Carnal Isræl: Reading Sex in Talmudic Culture (13 page)

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Authors: Daniel Boyarin

Tags: #Religion, #Judaism, #General

BOOK: Carnal Isræl: Reading Sex in Talmudic Culture
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he did not undress her or himself, uncovering only the bare necessary minimum, then he certainly did not "look at that place," let alone kiss it. Nor, seemingly, could he have taken the time to talk to her at all, since he was conducting himself as if driven by a demon. What does the Talmud mean, then, by citing the story as an objection to Rabbi Yohanan ben Dabai? The Talmud understands that she asked him to explain his strange behavior (and note that by this it is marked as strange) during the act itself, and, moreover, that he answered her at the same time. They spoke to each other during sex, which is what constitutes the apparent refutation of Rabbi Yohanan ben Dabai. In any case, according to the Talmud's refutation and resolution of the apparent contradiction, this problem disappears: the only sort of speech that is forbidden is speech that distracts from the intercourse, not speech that enhances it, and even that restriction is rejected in the end with the total rejection of Rabbi Yohanan ben Dabai. According to the talmudic passage, in fine, the Torah seeks control not over the physical aspects of married sex but only over the emotional side of it.
The Contradiction of Discourses
As the Talmud explicitly argues, in fact, the two attempts at control of married sex contradict each other, for repression of visual, tactile, and conversational intimacy would have a chilling effect on that very closeness of the partners' desires and wills that the other voice wishes to promote. We have two contradictory discoursesthe discourse of control in the conjugal bed and the discourse of free intimacy. By citing the Rabbi Eliezer and Imma Shalom story dialectically, the Talmud makes sure that we realize this point, for indeed, otherwise this citation is irrelevant, nothing but a local objection and modification of an utterance by Rabbi Yohanan ben Dabai that the Talmud intends to reject entirely. But it makes this very pointthat such control and intimacy are in opposition to each other.
In another place, the Talmud cites one more story that supports the contradictory nature of these two discourses, as well as giving us a "reallife" vignette of the sexual practice of a Rabbi who was one of the most authoritative figures of the entire culture:
Rav Kahana entered and lay down beneath the bed of Rav. He heard that he was talking and laughing and having sexual intercourse. He
 
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said, "The mouth of Abba [Rav's name] appears as if he has never tasted this dish."
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He [Rav] said to him, "Kahana, get out; this is not proper behavior!" He [Kahana] said to him, "It is Torah, and I must learn it."
This is a fascinating, complex, and rich text. It almost explicitly raises the issue of the "panopticon," the surveillance of private sexual behavior on the part of a culture. Although it does so in a surprising directionfrom below to above, from student to teacherthis fact does not materially change its operations, for if the teacher is to be observed having sex by the student, then sex is being controlled, just as effectively as if the students were to be observed by their teachers. The surveillance is, however, vigorously rejected. There is no evidence whatsoever that Rav or the Talmud itself accepted Rav Kahana's declaration here that "it" is Torah that he must learn, but in the meantime the text has managed to reveal precisely that which it ostensibly seeks to conceal, namely, that Rav "was talking and laughing" intimately with his wife as they had intercourse, thus further supporting the thought presented by the Nedarim text that such verbal behavior as enhances the intimacy and pleasure of sex is permitted and praiseworthy.
We have, indeed, explicit evidence that it was Rav's behavior here that was considered normative. In the Babylonian Talmud Hagiga 5b, we read:
Rabbi Ila was going up the staircase of the house of Rabba the son of Shila and he heard a child reciting: For behold, He creates the mountains and creates the wind, and tells a man about his conversation [Amos 4:13]. He said: A slave whose master tells him about his conversations, has he any remedy?
What does "about his conversation" mean?
Rav said: Even the superfluous speech between husband and wife is reported to the man at the time of his death.
Can that be? But Rav Kahana was lying under the bed of Rav, and he heard him conversing and laughing and having intercourse. He said, "The mouth of Rav appears as if he has never tasted this dish." He [Rav] said to him, "Kahana, get out; this is not proper behavior!"
There is no difficulty. This is a case where he has to arouse her, and this is a case where he does not have to arouse her.
15. This also serves as an argument for the conclusion reached above, namely, that in the figurative usage of eating for sexual intercourse, the food is the sex and not the wife. Certainly, Rav Kahana was referring to Rav's ebullience and enthusiasm for sex and not implying that he was behaving as if this were the first time with her.

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