Captive Heart (Truly Yours Digital Editions) (14 page)

“He is free to go,” he told her brusquely.

When Cassius arrived back at his villa, he quickly made his way to Ramoth’s room. He found it empty.

Cassius sat in his father’s peristyle, his blank eyes looking out over the immaculately kept garden. His mind wandered over
the many years he had spent here as a child and later as
a man.

Sighing, he took a deep breath of the cool winter air. He could almost hear the sounds of childish laughter mingled with the louder, throatier laugh of Anticus. He could picture Samah and Anticus huddled together, their faces lit with something he didn’t understand. Overwhelmed with grief, he didn’t know what to do.

To lose his father and Samah in the same day was more than he could bear. His love for the woman had blossomed unaware, and now he felt even emptier than before. For the first time, he understood what he had done to the women in his life.

But there was a difference. Samah was not untouched as he had been. He had seen the agony in her lovely eyes when she denied him. Perhaps he should have pushed his suit further, but he hadn’t been thinking clearly at the time. All he knew was that the pain caused by his father’s death had escalated with the loss of Samah.

“Cassius.”

Trajan stood in the doorway, his eyes alive with worry.

Cassius glanced at him, then away. “What do you want?”

Though there was no welcome in Cassius’s voice, Trajan entered the garden anyway. He came and stood beside Cassius.

“Are you all right?”

Cassius snorted. “All right? What do you think?” He turned, and studied the older man. Though Trajan’s blue eyes were filled with grief, there was a peace and serenity that Cassius was far from feeling. It angered him that the general seemed so unmoved.

“I think,” Trajan confided quietly, “that if you could only believe in what your father believed in, you would find the tranquility you are seeking.”

Cassius got up quickly, moving away. Another minute and he was likely to strangle the older man with his bare hands.

“This religion you have embraced makes no sense. Why should I believe in such nonsense?”

Trajan smiled sadly. “I agree it makes no sense, but it fills your very heart with the presence of God. What sense is there in loving your enemies? In treating kindly those who heap abuse on you? In turning the other cheek when someone strikes you?” He shook his head. “No, it makes no sense. That is, until you understand the great love of a Father God.”

Slumping wearily, Cassius turned and searched Trajan’s face. “I understand the love of a father,” he choked.

Sitting down on the bench, Trajan asked him, “Do you? Do you really? Anticus gave you love, and gifts, and helped you win favor in the Senate and with the emperor. Does that mean he loved you?”

Cassius frowned. “Yes,” he replied in confusion. “That’s part of it. What exactly are you trying to say?”

Trajan leaned forward, his eyes beseeching. “Who gives you life? Who gives you the very air that you breathe? Who gives you the warmth of the sun, the light of the moon, the beauty of the flowers on the hillside? God does. Does that mean He loves you? Most assuredly, because even beyond that, He gave you the greatest gift of all: He gave you His Son.”

Trajan got up and crossed to Cassius’s side. Cassius looked at him warily.

“It was so easy for Anticus to believe because he
was
a father. The thought of giving one’s own son to die so that someone else might live, he understood that kind of sacrifice. That kind of love.”

Casting him an impatient look, Cassius asked, “What makes you think that this Jewish god is the right one?”

Trajan lifted a brow. “You’ve been to many lands and seen many gods. Tell me, what kind of life do the people live? What kind of things do their gods teach them? How to kill, like the barbarians in Germania? How to live lives full of lust and debauchery so that they become diseased and wither and die?”

Cassius met his look. “Like Rome, you mean?”

“Yes, like Rome.”

Leaning against a railing trailing dry grapevines, Cassius studied his blood father. Memories of long walks among the hillsides and long talks on the banks of the Tiber assailed him. This man had been a true friend to him over the years. A mentor.

“The things you say tear at the very fabric of Rome. Be careful, Trajan, or you might be charged with treason.”

Feeling defeated, Trajan sighed. “Then so be it. I promised Anticus that I would try to teach you the way to salvation. You are lost, Cassius, in more ways than one.”

Cassius surprised Trajan with his soft answer.

“I know.”

“Cassius, if you study Jewish history, you will see the hand of God throughout it.”

“Like now?” he asked sarcastically. “It’s a wonder that anyone believes in this Jewish God the way He has destroyed His followers.”

“The Jews have rejected God’s Son, so now He has given up on them and turned to the Gentiles. The Gentiles are hungry for the love of such a God. They see only lives filled with depravity and greed, and they want something more for themselves and their children. God gives them the hope they are seeking, the knowledge that this life is temporary and that there is something much better waiting for them beyond the grave.”

Cassius could picture the many people dying in the arena. Many died singing praises to this God, and he had marveled at such a faith. He knew that most Romans would quickly relinquish their worship of any god if they thought their lives were at stake.

Christians would willingly give their lives in defense of their God. His thoughts turned to Samah, and he again felt the pain of her rejection. He could see in her eyes that it grieved her to turn him away, but he knew she would never relent. As surely as a Christian would walk into an arena, Samah would walk away from his love.

Trajan interrupted his thoughts. “Cassius, will you keep your promise to Anticus and go to see your mother?”

Cassius gave him a look filled with aggravation. He really didn’t want to think about this now.

“I don’t know.”

“I’ll go with you, if it will make it any easier.”

Cassius smiled snidely. “What, a family reunion?” Though he had promised Anticus, Cassius had his reservations about keeping the promise. His guilty conscience smote him, and he realized that he might as well get it over with sooner than later. He crossed to where a large bronze gong sat upright in the garden. Lifting the hammer, he struck it soundly. Hector came at his summons.

“Hector, bring us some wine.” Cassius grinned at Trajan. “If I’m going to see my mother, I will need some fortification.”

❧

Ramoth stared at his sister and sighed. Over the last week, she had become a pale replica of herself.

When he had made his way to Jonah’s house, Samah had been unsurprised by his presence. She told him what had transpired between her and the Roman, and Ramoth had been impressed by his sister’s devotion to Jehovah. He supposed he shouldn’t have been because it was like having history repeat itself. His own father and mother had walked away from a difficult relationship and for the same reason.

Now he realized the pain it had caused his beloved sister. Her words of commitment to the Lord were more than just words. She truly lived by her faith. Locked in a jail cell for almost three years, he had all but forgotten the truth he had learned from childhood. Samah had brought it back to him with ringing clarity.

She stood on the balcony of the apartment, her eyes gazing towards the part of the city where Cassius lived. Though Ramoth had tried to get them passage on a ship, he had been unable to do so. Most captains were reluctant to sail in the wintertime.

Capua came into the room, her eyes quickly finding Ramoth. She smiled with warmth, flipping her long dark hair over her shoulder.

“Have you ever played knucklebones, Ramoth?”

He shook his head, noticing the bones clutched in her hand. Returning her smile, he told her, “No, I haven’t.”

“Would you like to learn?”

One of the things he admired about Capua was her lack of artifice. Her brown eyes sparkled with joy and innocence. She and Samah were much alike, and that’s probably why they got along so well. Still, he and Samah couldn’t impose on their hospitality too much longer.

Calling to his sister, he smiled when she turned to him.

“Capua wants to teach us to play knucklebones.”

She returned his smile half-heartedly. “You go ahead. I think I will go for a walk.”

Instantly alert, he spoke more sharply than he intended. “Not alone.”

Samah regarded him with ill-concealed impatience. “Yes, alone. I won’t go far.”

He was about to argue with her when Capua laid a hand against his forearm. “Let her go, Ramoth. She will be safe enough on the streets of Rome.”

Remembering how easy it had been to abduct her even in a crowd, he doubted Capua’s assurances.

“I don’t know. . .”

Samah came to him, and laying her hands lightly on his shoulders, she reached up and kissed his cheek. She stared hard into his eyes until he had to look away.

“I’m not a baby anymore,” she reminded him.

He grinned. “You will always be my baby sister.” Studying her pale face, he finally relented. “Go, then. But if you aren’t back within the hour, I will come looking for you.”

She wrinkled her nose at him but said nothing. Going past him, she went to her room to fetch a shawl. Ramoth followed her. Expecting more admonitions, Samah was surprised when Ramoth handed her a coin.

“In case you get hungry.”

Taking the coin, she then laid her palm gently against his cheek. She smiled into his eyes. “I love you.”

He watched her leave the room, his own eyes misty with his feelings.

Samah descended the dark stairway and came out into the bustling marketplace. Uncertain where to go, she wandered slowly along the busy streets.

She passed the fuller’s and stopped to watch a servant treading in a mixture that cleaned clothing. Beyond him, other servants were laying togas over frames suspended over fires. The smell of the sulfur used to whiten the garments caused Samah to wrinkle her nose with distaste. She quickly moved on.

She passed two men painting an advertisement for the next week’s chariot races on one of the buildings. They paused in their work to watch her walk by, and she felt suddenly frightened. Always before, she had had Sentinel with her. Now, she was alone and vulnerable.

“Samah.”

Surprised, she turned to find Trajan not ten feet away. She smiled a welcome. He closed the distance between them, his eyes assessing her.

“Are you alone?”

She shrugged. “As you can see.”

He lifted a brow, shifting his toga over his shoulder. “Would you like some company?”

Thinking that he might have some word about Cassius, she hastily agreed. He fell into step beside her.

“How have you been? I thought you would be on your way home to Palestine by now.”

“Ramoth has tried, but shipping has slowed to the region since winter has set in.”

“I see.” He looked down at her. “Did you know that Cassius has been to see his mother?”

She lifted eyes filled with joy to his face. “That’s wonderful.”

Trajan nodded, his gaze once more forward. He pulled Samah out of the way of a loaded two-wheeled cart being pulled by a young man in an obvious hurry.

“They have finally made their peace with each other. I won’t be surprised if Cassius allows her to move in with him.”

Shocked, she turned to him. “Things have gone that well between them?”

He nodded again, smiling at her. “Callista is of the Way.”

Mouth parted in surprise, Samah felt her heart swell with jubilation. Surely Jehovah was indeed placing people in Cassius’s path to bring him to a knowledge of salvation. She prayed for Cassius every day, and it would seem her prayers were coming to fruition.

“And Cassius?” she asked hesitantly.

Trajan grinned wryly. “He is pig-headed, but I see a softening in him.”

“Praise Jehovah!”

Trajan looked at her intently. He took her by the arm and pulled her towards a tavern.

“Come and have a meal with me. I’m famished.”

Agreeing readily, she waited until they were seated before asking what was uppermost on her mind.

“Cassius, does he still grieve for Anticus?”

Trajan saw the sorrow reflected in her eyes, and took her by the hand. “You truly love my son, don’t you?”

Flushing, Samah quickly pulled her hand away. The caco-phony of sounds from inside the tavern, mixed with the
sounds from outside, made it hard to hear. She caught
Trajan’s look and realized she didn’t need to say anything.

“And he loves you.”

Her heart jumped, thrumming heavily in response to his words. She cast her gaze to the table, her finger tracing a carving from a previous customer.

“He has never said so.”

Trajan cocked his head slightly. “Did you give him the chance?”

Biting her lip, she leaned back in her chair. She waited until the proprietor had filled their goblets with wine before she answered him.