Can't Let Go (18 page)

“I feel horrible.”

“Kids get sick. It’s not your fault. You brought her in and that’s the important thing.”

After the nurse left
Grace read to Evie until she fell asleep again. Her phone vibrated and she blew out a breath when she saw it was Maggie.

“How’s everything?” Grace asked, trying to keep her voice as neutral as possible.

“What’s wrong?” Maggie demanded.

“Nothing,” she sighed, rubbing her forehead. She tried to keep her voice calm when all she wanted to do was cry. “
I flew to Texas to clear my head and Evie has bacterial pneumonia. The doctor said she should be able to go home in a couple of days but right now she’s hooked up to an IV-” Grace’s voice broke and tears trickled down her face.

Evie wasn’t terminally ill but she
wouldn’t be sick in the first place if Grace knew what signs to look for. She thought Evie had a cold and would be able to sleep it off. It never crossed her mind that Evie could develop a serious illness in so short a time. She felt so stupid. She wished Maggie or Casey was here with her. She had a ring on her finger but the man that gave it to her wouldn’t answer her phone calls. What kind of life was she building for herself, for Evie? Was she like Vicky, holding onto a man who wanted to get away from her? She wanted her sister back, she wanted someone to tell her what to do next because she felt so damn inadequate and lost.

“Oh honey,” Maggie said sympathetically. “I can
meet you there.”

“No. Stay with your daughter. I’m fine,” Grace said hastily, mopping up her face.

“Is Mitchell there with you?”

She bared her teeth.
“Why would he be here?”

“Did you call him?”

“I called him a couple of days ago and he said he had to go back to work and hung up on me. Don’t worry, Maggie. We’re fine,” Grace said, trying to sound convincing.

“
It’s not your fault, Grace. You’re doing your best.”

She hung her head and saw her tears splashing on the tiles by her feet. “No. I could do better. I can give up the boutique and be a real mom instead of an aunt.”

“You love your job.”

“I used to. I love Evie more. If I wasn’t so all over the place, she never would have gotten sick in the first place.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Yes. I do. I had to get out of the penthouse. I
couldn’t stay there, waiting for him so I brought her here.”

“Grace, don’t do anything rash.”

A sob slipped past Grace’s lips. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

“You love Evie. If you put her first, everything will fall into place.”

Before she could question that cryptic statement another call beeped in.

“Maggie, I have another call. I’ll call you back.”

“You do that.”

“Okay. Bye. Hello?” Grace said, clearing her
throat .

“
Is this Grace Stewart?” a male said.

Grace felt a horrible sense of
deja vu. A trickle of unease rolled down her spine.

“Yes. Who’s this?”

“I’m Jose with the New York police department. Is there somewhere we can meet?”

She straightened in the chair. “I’m in Texas. What’s going on?”

“Texas?”

“My… daughter’s in the hospital so I can’t go back to New York.”

A pause. “Well, in that case, do you have a few minutes?”

“Yes,” she said warily.

“Vicky Stewart is your mother?”

Grace
rose from her seat, just the thought of her mother enough to make her panic. Had Vicky done something to contest custody of Evie?

“Yes,” she said in a flat voice.

“I wanted to inform you that yesterday Vicky Stewart was found dead in her apartment.”

Grace sat like a frozen statue beside Evie’s bed for two days. She didn’t know what to think when she heard Mitchell’s voice blast down the hallway during Evie’s nap.

“Where are they?” he
shouted.

Mitchell
rushed into the room, swept an all-encompassing glance around the room and then went to the bed. He looked shattered for a naked moment as he leaned over Evie, whispering to her and gently brushing back her hair.

“Oh God, you scared me. Don’t you ever do this to me again,” he said and then raised his eyes to Grace who hadn’t moved since his arrival. “
What happened, Grace?”

His tone was accusing and it raked raw wounds over
her own guilt. Her eyes filled with tears but she didn’t let them fall. She didn’t look at him as she twisted her hands together in her lap.

“I was wrapped up in my own problems,” she murmured and waited for him to rail at her. She sat tense and rigid in her chair, waiting.

“Where’s Maggie?”

Her heart bled. She already had so much doubt in her own parenting skills that asking for Maggie tore her heart. He didn’t think she was suitable to watch after Evie by herself? It made her resolve harden.

“She’s been gone over a week. Her daughter’s getting a divorce and asked Maggie to come. She needed someone to be with her. Maggie’s a good mom.”

The
nurse walked in and swept Mitchell an appreciative look. “I’m sorry sir. Only family should be in here.”

“I’m her dad,” Mitchell said and waited to hear Grace’s denial but it never came.

To Mitchell’s surprise, the nurse went over to Grace and crouched in front of her chair. Grace didn’t react when the nurse put the back of her hand to her forehead and put two fingers over her wrist to feel her pulse.

“How are you doing today, Grace?” the nurse asked clinically.

Grace pulled away. “I’m fine.”

The nurse spent several seconds examining Grace before she nodded briskly and went over to Evie who was still asleep.

“What’s going on?” Mitchell asked.

The nurse looked at Grace who stared straight ahead. She was so pale her lips had no color.

“You say you’re Evie’s dad?” the nurse asked with arched brows.

“I am,” Mitchell said.

“You two divorced?” the nurse continued.

“Angie, leave it alone,” Grace murmured, voice thin and shaky.

The nurse glared up at Mitchell. “Took your sweet time coming here, didn’t you?”

Mitchell opened his mouth to reply but before he could, Angie swept out the door.

“You didn’t call or leave me a message,” Mitchell snapped at Grace.

“You told me I like to take care of things on my own so I did. You don’t want me calling you either so…” she shrugged.

She rubbed her temples with shaking hands and Mitchell frowned.

“How long have you been here?”

Grace blinked glassy eyes. “I don’t know.”

“Why was the nurse checking your pulse?”

Because she fainted when she heard her mom was dead, because she had a crying fit for two hours straight when she woke. She wasn’t sure if it was relief that caused the tears or realizing that Vicky would never change because her time was up. Had her mom committed suicide?

“Grace?”

She blinked and found Mitchell crouched in front of her. He grasped one of her numb hands and frowned when he realized how cold she was. She pulled away from him and shook her head. He snatched her left hand and brushed her bare ring finger.

“
Something’s wrong. Tell me.”

There was nothing left to talk about. Having him so close after dreaming that he would come and tell her he loved her died a quick death after a day and a half with no sign of him. Now that he was here, he looked at her with accusing eyes that made her want to curl up and die. She jerked her hands out of his,
reached into her pocket and withdrew the beautiful engagement ring. She didn’t look at it as she held it out to him. He didn’t remove his eyes from hers.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“We don’t have to get married
,” she whispered.

His face hardened.
“You’re going to chance that Vicky could get custody of Evie?”

“No,” she swallowed and looked away from him. “Vicky o
verdosed. She can’t take Evie and Ray never wanted her so we don’t have to get married.”

She couldn’t read his face and the silence that filled the room made her heart pound erratically. She opened his suit jacket and slipped the ring into a small pocket on the inside. He didn’t move. She scooted the chair back, rose and walked to Evie’s bedside. Evie looked more like herself now. She had color in her cheeks and the IV would be taken out right before they left the hospital today.

“Grace-” Mitchell stopped and then, “How are you?”

She let out a shaky laugh. “I’m fine.
As usual.”

He
walked to the other side of Evie’s bed. His eyes weren’t on the baby. They were on her. The part of her that went through the wringer wanted to walk away and hide somewhere and cry until she couldn’t anymore. The other part of her refused to show him how much pain she was in.

“When did you find out about Vicky?”

“Two days ago.”

“You came to
Texas before you found out that Vicky passed?”

She blew out a breath and looked at him.
“Yeah. I couldn’t wait for you anymore and while I was here Evie got sick and I found out I don’t need to marry you anymore.”

When he just stared at her she glared at him.

“You should be happy. This is what you wanted.”

He opened his mouth to speak, closed it. Anger and pain filled her chest, making it hard to breathe.

“I’m letting the boutique go. You can do whatever you want with it. I’m staying here with Evie.”

More silence.
Her eyes burned.

“Maybe I don’t know what I’m doing as a parent but I’m going to give it my all. She deserves
more than what I’ve been giving her. I should’ve done this from the beginning but I wasn’t ready to change and look what happened.” A tear rolled down her cheek. “I want to be the best mom I can be.”

His cell rang and Evie murmured in her sleep. Mitchell walked out of the room and she heard him answer the phone in the hallway. She leaned down and kissed Evie’s soft cheek.

“I’m sorry.”

Mitchell didn’t return to Evie’s hospital room. Grace wondered if this was what he’d been waiting for- to be let off the hook. She shut down and signed papers to get Evie released and was surprised to find the bodyguards waiting for her. No one spoke as they drove her back to Casey’s house. When she got out, one of the guards spoke.

“Max said we’re supposed to go back to New York.”

Grace mustered a smile. “Thanks for everything you did. You were great.”

She watched them drive away. She was beyond tired as she carried Evie into the house. She was in a fog of grief, loss and relief. She felt so out of sorts. When she opened the door and saw Maggie waiting in the foyer the tears came. Maggie opened her arms and held her while she sobbed her heart out.

“Everything’s going to work itself out,” Maggie said.

She shook her head and reluctantly handed Evie over to Maggie. Evie bounced up and down and chattered up at Maggie as if nothing happened. Grace took a quick shower and fell asleep on the couch in the nursery, listening to Maggie and Evie play.

Grace woke at three in the morning. She tiptoed over to
Evie’s crib and closed her eyes and listened to the sound of her even breathing before she walked into the guest room and found Maggie sleeping in the guest bedroom. Her stomach rumbled. When was the last time she ate? Remembering the Chinese food she ordered the other night she went into the kitchen only to stop in the doorway when she saw who sat at her small wooden table with his laptop. Mitchell scribbled something on a notepad while his other hand threaded through his hair.

“Mitchell?”

He jerked and looked up. “You’re awake.”

“What are you doing here?”

His eyes pinned her in place. “I didn’t ask to be let off the hook,”

She crossed her arms across her chest. “You didn’t have to ask. Your actions spoke for you.”

“You think you can just move to Texas and you’ll never have to see me again? I love her.”

“
You haven’t seen her for weeks!”

“I wasn’t gone because I didn’t want to see her.”

Her heart clenched. She saw the anger in his eyes. The betrayal she knew he couldn’t forget.

“I know
.”

“I would do anything for her.”

She couldn’t meet his eyes. “I know.”

“So where does that leave us?”

“I won’t stop you from seeing her.” How could she handle seeing him come and go? How could she start over if he insisted on seeing her on a regular basis?

“So you don’t mind if I move in?”

She jerked her head up. “What?”

“I’m going to be here whenever I’m not abroad.”

Her mouth opened and closed. “Your office is in New York.”

“I don’t have to be in New York full time. You know that.”

“I said you could see Evie whenever you want. That doesn’t mean you have to be in Texas full time.”

“Where else would I be?”

In New York where he belonged.
He belonged
in the midst of high society, holding court. He was born and raised in New York. It never occurred to her that he would think of moving for Evie.

“You’re always busy-”

“Which is why I’ll be here when I can.”

She threw up her hands. “When we lived in your penthouse you didn’t bother coming home so why are you doing this?”

He got up and approached. She didn’t back away.

“I was mad.”

“No shit,” Grace snapped.

His mouth twitched. “I hate secrets.”

“I wasn’t sure you would believe me if I tried to tell you Ray was my father. I didn’t have any proof and if you asked him, he would deny it. What was I supposed to do?” she said defensively.

“I
hate
secrets,” he repeated.

He
stopped so close she could feel his body heat. She tilted her head back to glare at him.

“You don’t have anymore, do you?”

She shrugged. “No.”

“
You make me crazy. Nothing is easy with you.”

“If you want easy I’m sure there’s a bunch of girls
who have never had a hard day in their life. They have the perfect background and they’re just waiting for you to crook your finger. You won’t get that from me so you can go on back to New York.”

His eyes narrowed and he leaned down so their faces were inches apart. She
sucked in a breath.

“You think after all we’ve been through I’m going to give up this easily?”

“You gave up the moment you hung up on me.”

He cupped her face, keeping her in place when she tried to jerk away.

“You don’t give up easily, Grace. You’re a fighter.”

“I know when something’s done with.”

She shoved against his chest but he didn’t let go of her. He backed her into the wall and pinned her there with his body. His hands moved from her face up into her hair and gripped.

“You cut and run when someone hurts you,” he murmured and leaned down and held her still as he brushed kisses over her face, down her neck.

“Mitchell, stop,” she hissed.

“I hate when you make me feel helpless. I’ve never been helpless in my life and I hate how easily you make me feel like that. You have no idea the effect you have on me. I don’t like letting you control me.”

“I’ve never tried to control you!” she protested.

“You love me but you never pushed for more. You
never thought you were worth it. Do you know how I feel, seeing the man I thought of as a father beating up the woman I claim as mine? You waste so much time worrying how I’d feel if I found out who Ray really is that you sacrificed yourself instead. You think you’re such a bad replacement for Casey that you work yourself into the ground to make sure Evie will never experience the hardship you did. Do you know how it feels to see someone you love fight the world on her own and tell you she doesn’t need you?”

She stared speechlessly up at him. Her hands were splayed on his chest in an attempt to keep him at bay. She could feel his heart pounding beneath her palm.

“You have no idea the lengths I’d go for you.”

She tried to slide away from him but he leaned against her and
bit her neck. She jumped and tugged on his hair and felt his lips curve against her neck. She knew he liked having his hair pulled and she yanked her hands away as if she’d been burned.