Canes of Divergence (40 page)

“THANK YOU, RAYA,”
my father said, when I carried the bundles into the front yard. “Perhaps you and Caleb could get them delivered before supper?”

I glanced at Caleb. He looked surprised at the request. So it was my father’s idea to force Caleb and me to spend more time alone together. I wasn’t sure if that was better or worse.

“Yes, Father,” I said. “We should hurry, though, Caleb. I have much work to do here after.”

“No, you don’t, Raya. I’ve told you I plan on finishing your dresses myself. Go on and take your time. Stop for a visit with Cara, if you’d like. I know she’s been wanting to spend time with you before you go.”

The look he gave me then held reproach, and I had a flash of guilt. I had been neglecting Cara – who was both my closest friend and Caleb’s younger sister – ever since… Anyway, it wasn’t fair to her, and I did want to see her.

“All right, then, Father. Thank you. I’ll be back in time to start supper.”

“If you insist, Raya,” he answered, a wry look in his eyes as he gently rubbed my shoulder. “I’ll see you then. And thank you.”

I was hoping the walk would be as silent as the one back to my home had been, but Caleb had other ideas. We were barely away from the yard, maybe a few hundred feet down the small dirt road that led into the village, when he turned to me. “I promise I had nothing to do with that. I know you were anxious to be rid of me.”

I stole a glance up at him. There was no hint of teasing in his expression, or in his voice. Nor was he upset; his face was stoic, sincere. My heart thudded, suddenly dropping several inches out of place.

“I’ve never wanted to get rid of you, Caleb.”

“No? You’ll barely look at me. You’ve been avoiding my house – you won’t even come over to see Cara. How else am I supposed to take that? It feels like you very much want me to disappear.”

My cheeks and neck suddenly felt far too hot, and the warmth was spreading down toward my chest. “I don’t want you to go anywhere. I just – I just wish things could go back to the way they were, before…” No, I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“Before I kissed you.”

It took her me minute to figure out why I suddenly heard a metallic clinking sound, until Caleb reached to take the bags of coins out of my shaking hands.

“Yes Raya, that’s what happened. I kissed you. Not talking about it isn’t going to change it.”

Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself to be able to meet his eyes. “What is talking about it going to do?”

“Well, at least we’d be talking, and not avoiding each other. I could visit your house without feeling like an intruder, and you could go back to spending half your waking hours with Cara at mine.”

I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes. “I never have enough free time to visit with
anyone
that much and you know it.”

“It’s called teasing. Didn’t you just finish telling me that you wish everything could go back to the way it’s always been?” His blue eyes were sparkling, and the weight that had been pushing my heart down toward my stomach eased off a little.

“If I’d known that included you going back to being an obnoxious twank, I might have chosen my words more carefully.”

“But you didn’t, and now you’re stuck with me –
twankishness and all.”

It felt good to laugh, especially after the weeks of tension with Caleb. So good that it took several minutes before both of us were finally calm again.

Finally, though, I was able to catch enough of a breath to speak. “I guess I have to put up with you for a few more days, anyway.”

The sparkle in his eyes dimmed a little. “Yeah, for a few more days…”

An unexpected rush of irritation tightened the muscles in my shoulders again. “You know, I get that people disagree with this. I get that it’s even very hard on the girls who don’t want to go, and on their families, but it’s not like I’m being marched off to my death.”

It wasn’t until I saw how quickly Caleb’s expression changed – from happy and relaxed, to surprised, to
hurt
– that I realized what I’d said.

“Do you
want
to go, Raya?”

I paused, swallowing hard. “I…I don’t know. How bad can it be, exactly? It’s spending a month at the palace, learning to dance.”

“Like a puppet.”

I glared at him.

“That’s what it is. You’ll be taught to dance like a puppet so that officers and nobles can size you up and pick you over as if you were a slab of meat at the market.”

“Not all officers and nobles are awful.”

The blue of Caleb’s eyes had turned to pure ice. “You don’t get a choice in who picks you. Or did you forget that part?”

If he was trying to frighten me with his tone – well, it worked – but I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of knowing about the unnerving images that flickered through my mind – images of some of the girls who had shown up on the steps of Caleb’s mother’s house…

I blinked, and shook my head a little, trying desperately to clear it.  “Regardless, I don’t really have a choice, do I? Most of the girls aren’t going to be picked by anyone, anyway, are they? A couple hundred girls and only one man who is even obligated to pick one of them.”

Caleb’s lips parted, but then closed again. It was obvious he had decided against whatever he was going to say, and as his expression softened, so did my pique. I wasn’t quite sure why I was so irritated with him, anyway.

For a moment, we continued down the road in silence. Just when I thought that he might just let it go, though, he spoke. “Do you really want to be the girl that man picks?”

Although his voice was gentle, there it was again, roaring back with a vengeance. Irritation rushed through me, so coarse and grating I was afraid it was going to leave a rash.

“I don’t know, Caleb. Doesn’t every girl want to marry the prince?”

“I’m not asking about every girl.” There was nothing accusatory in his voice – he really was just asking because he wanted to know, but still my aggravation grew.

I bit the tip of my tongue, and forced myself to take a slow breath through my nose. Why? Why did it bother me so much? Was it just because I really didn’t know the answer? Because I was afraid of what my answer would be? Or maybe I was just annoyed at Caleb for pressing for an answer that would hurt him, no matter what I said.

“Does it really matter what I want?” I finally asked, struggling to keep my tone as light as I could manage. “Would it really matter if I was entertaining some ridiculous idea that the prince would choose me? I’m the poor, adopted daughter of a spinner in the Flatlands. I probably won’t even get close enough to the palace to touch the outside wall. If a man notices me at all, he’ll dance with me a time or two, and then move on. In a month, I’ll be back home, and nothing will have changed.”

To my surprise, Caleb rolled his eyes. “You need to grow up.”

I stopped and grew still as a statue right there, in the middle of the road. “Excuse me?”

He closed his eyes for several seconds. “Never mind. Maybe it’s just better if you do go. Good luck there, Raya. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Anyway, we’re almost at my house. Why don’t you just go and visit with Cara and my mother, and I’ll go deliver these.”

He didn’t wait for me to respond; he just headed down the road alone, holding the little cloth bags.

Rumpelstiltskin’s Daughter, Coming 2013