Candidate (Selected Book 4) (65 page)

"Do you think I haven't tried other approaches? My goal is for both mating candidate and challenger to find happiness in each other."

"In other worse, you teach the slave to appreciate being a slave."

"You can all leave!" she said, almost screaming. "You'll be able to leave. Accept Charoite's offer, if she makes one. You can be home in a little more than three months."

"With my severance package money spent, who knows the status of my bills, I've done nothing to find work, and I wouldn't have applied for unemployment insurance. I don't know that process, but there is a delay."

"I want a promise."

"Go to hell."

"I'm going to tell you something and I don't want you to tell anyone else. Promise, or I won't tell you, and you can remain ignorant."

I thought about it. "Fine. I won't repeat it."

"We pay your bills. If you go home, we continue to pay your bills for months afterwards. We help you find jobs, good jobs. The few women that go home -- and it's not very many -- come out ahead financially. The ones who don't go home have lives the rest of humanity can barely dream about. You have a right to bitch about a lot of things, but money isn't one of them."

"And this is a big secret, why? You have to know we're all worried about that. They don't all say it, but everyone assumes she's been fired. If they win their challenge and go home -- I know, it doesn't happen, but we make them believe it could -- believe they're going back to no job, no money, and job abandonment means you don't get unemployment. Everyone in here thinks you not only did this to them, but if they do go home, they don't have a home because it's been forfeit. They believe everything they owned is gone, never to be seen again. If they have pets, they believe they've been killed." I shook my head. "More of your emotional torture, I presume to keep us feeling vulnerable and so we know beyond all doubt we're entirely dependent upon you for every little thing in our lives."

"So, what are you going to do about all this, Andromeda?"

"I haven't figured out all my choices."

"Which have you figured out?"

I turned back to her. "I could commit suicide."

"You promised you wouldn't make that threat."

"I didn't say I was going to. It's an option. You asked what my options were. You shouldn't ask a question if you aren't going to like the answer."

"Do you think we haven't had attempts?"

"I'm surprised there aren't a dozen or so in every batch."

"We filter for self-destructive tendencies."

"You push us hard enough that shouldn't matter."

"We get attempts."

"If someone is committed to suicide, she'll succeed."

"With us watching her?"

"Whatever. That's one choice. I could burn every one of my bridges. You'll give me to some horrible male. I'll eventually kill him or me, but maybe you take steps so he can safely rape me and I can't do a thing about it. I wouldn't be surprised."

"Is that what you think we do?"

"Yes, Administrator. I do. I think any woman who fights hard enough is given to someone horrible, and she spends the rest of her miserable life getting raped on a daily basis. That is exactly what I think happens."

She got up from the bed and walked to the door. I thought she was leaving, but she stared out. "I told you how many rapes have happened, and what happened to the men who did them."

"You've told me a lot, but I also know you lie to every woman who comes in here. You lie to all our families, to our previous employers, to our friends, to all of society. I don't know what's truth and what's utter fabrication. And you're the one who told me take your deal or you'll give me to a male. How many other lesbians have been told the same thing. Capitulate, or I'll make it not just bad, but really, really bad. That's what you told me, Jasmine, so don't blame me if I actually believe you."

"What do you consider your other options?"

"Let you get away with all of it. Give up. Surrender my soul and let you give me to the least objectionable woman who makes an offer. So far, those are the three choices I see."

She spun. "You could try to find happiness."

"They keep leaving!" I screamed. "I could have been happy with Cherish, but she left. She doesn't want me. Soft Rain didn't want me. Dark Skies doesn't want me. Maybe Charo does, but we won't know for a while, will we? And if I go with her, will I ever see my parents again? Do you think there is anything you have for me, anything at all, that would mean I'd give up my parents?"

I pulled my knees up. "Go away. My date is late, and if I don't want you to give me to a rapist, and instead accept my fate as a sex worker to a Kitsune, I need to try to get my mood back. Cause she sure as shit isn't going to want me if she sees me like this."

"You like her, and you liked what the two of you did last night."

"That was before your little reminders today, which sure as hell were intentional."

"Do you need me to send Dark Skies down before I let Charo head in?"

"No."

"Are you going to burn your bridges?"

"That is not my intention at this time. Did you want me to? Were you hoping?"

She didn't answer.

* * * *

Charo arrived about ten minutes later. I spent the time with music playing and my eyes closed, but I asked the visor to alert me if anyone entered the cell. I calmed down, but not by much.

I opened my eyes. She stood near the bed, looking at me, smiling. And from her hands dangled the wrist restraints and chain Jasmine used on me during arena event days. I stared at it. In her other hand were ankle restraints.

"I do not believe you won a challenge yet."

"I'm not allowed to take you off the facility without them." She waved them at me. "You're going to look cute. Stand up. I want to get a look at you."

I slid from the bed, moving away from her a little. Then I held my hands up and did a slow turn. I was halfway around when she stepped up behind me and set a hand on my back. "I especially like this."

"And the colors? Your colors."

"Well, they're a little garish, aren't they, but I'm sending a message."

"To whom?"

"Jasmine Brighteyes, of course, and maybe you and anyone else who thinks to lay a claim on you. I'll let you date others, because that is my agreement, but I intend for you to become mine."

I turned back to her. "Made up your mind have you?"

"Maybe not entirely. The newness might wear off in a few days, but if last night was any indication, I think it'll take decades."

I almost made a scathing remark, but I held it back. I really did. I managed a smile, although it was weak.

"So," she said. "We have a few minutes." She eyed the bed and then stepped closer. "And where's my kiss?"

"Do you know why Jasmine delayed you?"

"No. Do you?"

"We were having a fight, at least as big as the one we had the day I got here."

"Oh my," she said. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, or I'm going to unload on anyone nearby. But it's going to take me a little time to finish calming down. Timing was poor. I think she did it on purpose."

"Sit." She pointed to the bed. I thought it was so she could apply the restraints, so I obeyed. Instead, she dropped everything on the bed and sat down at the other end, her legs tucked up, facing me. "I know you said you didn't want to talk about it, and a portion of me is sorry about this. But I came literally a billion kilometers to meet you, Andromeda, and I deserve some consideration for doing so. So I'm going to ask you to listen to me."

"Fine," I muttered.

"Furthermore, if I ask a question, you will answer."

"We'll see."

"The fight was based at least in part due to what I told you earlier. We stole your power."

I sighed. "Yes."

"And I was listening when you told the Luxan last night this is a sex slave trade." I didn't respond to that. "Andromeda, will you please look at me?"

I turned sideways to match her and looked up, but it was hard to hold her gaze.

"I didn't come here for a sex slave. I came here for a mate. I came here because you are the first woman here being given the sort of choices you're being given. And, of course, because I liked what I could learn from a billion kilometers away."

I didn't say anything.

"I don't necessarily care for this mood, but I enjoyed your company last night. I liked our banter. I very much enjoyed teasing you. I think you found some of it frustrating, but I think you enjoyed most of it. Am I wrong?"

"No."

"Clearly I have had some experience. Clearly I have interacted with other humans. I have not had a human girlfriend. I like to tease. I like being teased. I try very hard to learn what teasing will be seen as teasing and avoid the sort that is seen as being mean. I will make mistakes, but I will learn."

"That's fair. I was a little concerned you didn't care if your teasing hurt."

"I was learning. That's all. I might be willing to push a little, but not a lot. I bet you aren't that different."

"No, probably not."

"I think we could be good together. I think we could be very happy together. But we have barely met, less than one day ago."

"Right."

"And I have one fear. I fear you will pick me as the least of all evils, not as the best of all choices. I deserve better, and frankly so do you."

"Yes, but I am not being given the choice to walk away, and you are." I looked up. "I have fears. I fear everyone who I would accept even if I had full choice will leave. And I'll be left only with the choices I'd accept, because they're better than the alternatives. I know I'm not getting out of this, after all."

"That is not true. You could always pick someone you absolutely know you can resist, and three months later demand to be set free."

"And if during those three months, she gets a little help from an Octal queen?"

"Is that what you think I'll do?"

"I don't have the vaguest idea. Do you know how I met Dark Skies?"

"Yes."

"So your plan is dangerous, because I could get drugged out of my mind so I can't dream of leaving, but if I follow your plan, I'd be forever bound to someone I hate."

"All right. I admit. I didn't consider that. I am going to make you promises. You may not believe me, but I swear I am making honest promises." I nodded at that. "I will not accept a relationship if I believe I am your least of the evil choices. As I said, I deserve better."

"I wouldn't expect you to." I didn't mention where that left me.

"If we do choose each other, then I will treat you honestly. I will not lavish you with everything you want, wait for your commitment, then stop."

"Thank you."

"And I am convinced we can be happy from what I've seen so far. I know you feel vulnerable. I don't blame you. But I'm not the enemy."

"You're taking advantage of what is still a slave trade."

"Well, I've never liked how we do this, but I don't have a voice to change it. But I admit, that part bothers me. But do you want me to go?"

"No. I wish the situation were different."

"Fair enough. So do I. Ask me to leave, and I'll leave, Andromeda."

"I don't want you to leave."

"Good. I don't want to leave. When I walked in, you were almost as mad at me as you were at Jasmine Brighteyes, weren't you?"

"I was trying not to be."

"Was that because you didn't think I deserved it, or because you didn't want to drive me away in case I was your best option?"

I sighed. "The latter."

"And that's because you considered me part of the problem."

"Yes."

"Do you still?"

"No, Charo. Thank you." Except I wasn't sure I believed myself.

"You're welcome. Better?"

"It takes me a little time, but yes, I will be. Where are you taking me?"

"To a restaurant, and then we'll see."

"All right. I'll be fine by the time we get there. I'd rather we not kiss until I can smile."

"That's fair." She gestured to the restraints. "These made you angry. I want to talk about it."

"It's not your fault."

"No, but you resent them. And if I express any joy, you're going to resent them more."

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to control my reaction. "Yes," I said finally.

"How would you feel if the situation were reversed? If you were able to restrain me instead?"

I opened my eyes and looked at her.

"Would it please you?"

"I don't know. Maybe. No. No, it wouldn't."

"Why not?"

"Because you partially resemble an Earth animal, and chaining you would be treating you like an animal. You're not an animal, Charo."