Camp Alien (6 page)

“O
H.”
Jeff was quiet for a moment. “That does make sense, actually. I hadn't considered him because I wanted him to remain in the position he was already in.”

Chuckie was looking up into the air. A quick glance confirmed that he wasn't looking at anything—he was thinking. “I like it,” he said finally. “You give him a much-needed boost of confidence, and put even more people we can trust into key positions. You earn Hochberg's loyalty and show all of those who aren't your intimates that you'll move the best person for the job up, regardless of existing friendships.” He nodded and looked back at Jeff. “I say do it, just be sure that you tell him why you're asking him so late, because that information will matter to him. Greatly.”

“That also means Jeff will have made positive moves for Army, Air Force, and Marine Corps personnel. I think we need to look at the Navy for something, anything, just 'cause.” Knew suggesting the flyboys all get Cabinet posts was out. Tried not to worry about them and the others who were missing. Failed.

Everyone nodded. “I'll think of someone,” Raj said with a grin.

“Super. By the way, have you checked Fritzy out like Raj did, Secret Agent Man?” Hey, just because he seemed good, I didn't want to discover we'd missed something.

Chuckie grinned. “Yeah. After your trip to another world, I investigated him. I investigated Monica Strauss, too, but since she's dead, we have no more worries there. But Hochberg checked out just as Raj said.”

“Speaking of Secretary of State, though, that needs to be
someone really good with the diplomacy, and while I'd suggest Richard he already took a job with the Embassy.”

White chuckled. “I believe Jeffrey putting his uncle into the position would create the same havoc as him assigning that position to his wife. However, Missus Martini is right—that position is as important as your Vice President.”

“Vander,” Reader said. “It's a perfect position for him.”

Chuckie nodded slowly. “I can agree with that.”

“Vander's the one who said I needed higher profile people,” Jeff pointed out.

“For VP,” Tim said. “But not for the other positions. Though, honestly, I think we need him in Homeland Security, because based on all of this, that's still open.”

“It's a much lower Cabinet rank,” Jeff said.

“Not after last week it isn't,” I pointed out. “Let's face it, we're going to want to focus on our plethora of home-grown terrorists. I think Tim's right—put someone we know has the goods into that position and let him
make
it a higher-ranking post.”

“Put him there,” Chuckie agreed. “He'll be more likely to agree to it, and Tim and Kitty are both right.”

Raj nodded. “I can agree with that as well. Before we look at Secretary of State, though, are you satisfied with the rest of Vince's Cabinet? And we still have slots open in the Joint Chiefs of Staff.”

“I'll ask Mort for his recommendations on the Joint Chiefs,” Jeff said. “And my answer to the rest of Vince's Cabinet and other assignments is to ask you and Chuck which of them we need to cut loose immediately and which ones we should keep.”

“Get rid of Marion Villanova immediately if not sooner.”

“I'll do a workup with Mister Reynolds,” Raj said.

Chuckie shook his head. “Seriously, why the formality all of a sudden?”

Looked where Raj was. “Oh. Because we're about to have visitors.” Elaine and Mom were heading for us, our Secret Service details with them. Shocking no one, the Secret Service agents all had long-suffering expressions.

“Why do you persist in running off without us?” Joseph, the head of Jeff's detail asked when they all reached us.

“We're impetuous.” This earned me the “really?” look from every single one of the Secret Service. Chose not to let
it harsh my groove. The Secret Service fanned out, Joseph and Evalyne staying nearest to us.

“Sorry to barge in,” Elaine said. “But Angela felt you might want my input, so we came under the guise of letting you all know that Thomas Kendrick is here and everyone's eating without you.”

Mom nodded. “You're discussing people that Vince might have talked about in private with his wife. It seems prudent to ask Elaine her impressions before you make commitments you can't take back easily.”

“Ooh, Mom, love where your head's at.” Since I'd honed my Recap Girl skills a lot over the past few years, I brought them up to speed on our suggested nominations.

“Those all sound good to me,” Mom said. “Elaine?”

She nodded. “I agree about Fritzy and the others, and also about ensuring that Marion Villanova is no longer around. Monica relied on her—and Monica was a good enough Secretary of State to work for two Presidents—but I've never liked her.”

“Proving that you're a woman of taste and refinement.”

Tim jerked. “You know, supposedly she was dating Langston Whitmore.”

Claudia and Lorraine looked at each other. “If she was, she sure wasn't around when we went to get him to confess on the news,” Lorraine said.

“And he never mentioned her,” Claudia added. “At all.”

“They're both gay and closeted,” I reminded everyone. “They're pretending to date each other, and I honestly thought they were going to get married to double down on the charade, but they're clearly not pretending at all in private.”

“Okay, great, we know that,” Tim said patiently. “But her boss is dead and her ‘boyfriend' almost died. So where the hell is
she
?”

“On it,” Lorraine said. She and Claudia kicked up the hyperspeed and disappeared. The Secret Service didn't even blink. This should have been flattering to me, but it was just a reminder that my every move was being watched and everyone was focused on ensuring that I'd never see any action ever again. Haters.

“That never stops being . . . odd,” Elaine said. “So, while we wait for the Captains to return, I'd like to go over the
remaining personnel with Mister Singh and Mister Reynolds. I'm certain we need to remove some others, just in case. Starting with the Secretary of the Treasury, but he won't be the only one.”

Jeff groaned quietly. “I'm running out of people I know and trust who can move into these positions.”

Elaine patted his arm. “It will be fine, Jeff. You have a strong team. They'll be able to sort things out.”

“We need a Secretary of State,” Jeff said. “Badly. And as far as I can tell, we have no ideas.”

Looked at Mom, who had a look on her face I was familiar with—her I've Practically Spelled It Out For You look. Considered this while Elaine, Raj, and Chuckie started to quickly go over the Cabinet and White House staffers. Elaine knew all of them. And had details on all of them, too, as well as recommendations. Clear, concise, and well-thought-out recommendations.

Cleared my throat and got their attention. “Ah, Elaine, have a couple quick questions.”

“Certainly, Kitty. What?”

“What did you do before Vince became the President? For work, I mean.”

“Oh, well, I was an attorney. I worked for several large firms and two Fortune Fifty corporations. None of those on your watch list.”

“Not where I was going with this, but good to know. You stopped because of Vince's political career?”

“Because of his presidential run, really. He needed my full focus.”

“Gotcha, and I can see how that would be.” Jeff had certainly needed mine. “What's your undergrad degree in?”

“I had a double major—Urban Planning and Public Affairs with a minor in Public Policy, in addition to Psychology. But it looked like all I'd be able to do was teach, which is why I got my law degree. Why?”

“What colleges?”

“University of Illinois at Chicago for my undergrad degrees, Harvard for law. Again, why?”

“Both of those are good schools.” Looked at Mom. “Will it cause a lot of problems?”

She shrugged. “Probably. However, you're all nothing if not unconventional. And it will quell a variety of rumors.”

“Like Jeff being the one who had Vince killed? Yeah, I can see that.”

Jeff was looking at us, eyes narrowed. “My blocks are up, so all I'm getting is that you're really excited, baby. And that Angela's amused by all of the rest of us being slow on the uptake. And Elaine's confused. Like the rest of us.”

“Sorry, let me clear it all up for you. Elaine's your new Secretary of State.”

W
HILE EVERYONE OTHER
than Mom stared at me openmouthed, I took the opportunity to sniff some roses. I mean, why not?

Elaine recovered first. “I, ah, think that would be met with a great deal of . . . resistance.”

“Nope,” I said as I stopped sniffing. “I can promise you that, right now, Congress is likely to approve pretty much everything Jeff wants.”

“Why would you think that?” Chuckie asked. “It seems remarkably naïve.”

“I'm not naïve, I'm realistic. And we have a slew of aliens snorking down whatever Chef's prepared that tell me that what Jeff wants, Jeff gets.”

“The Planetary Council isn't here to control our government,” Jeff protested.

Managed not to roll my eyes. “Of course they are, Jeff. At least, they're here to influence it. They weren't here to kill anyone and force a takeover or anything like that. But they were indeed coming to have a chat with our President and his VP about getting Earth involved in galactic politics. Trust me, that means they have an agenda. And there's not a single politician on the Hill who won't realize that. And there's also not a single one who will want to be seen as working against you. They all remember Operation Destruction.”

“True enough,” Chuckie said.

“So, they'll let you appoint whoever the hell you want, providing that person isn't clearly an enemy of the state or totally bonkers by D.C. standards, which gives you wide range. They'll wait until the Planetary Council leaves before
they start actively working against you. In other words, the moment the Galactic Police are gone, it'll be back to political business as usual.”

“Leonidas knows this, even if Alexander doesn't,” Chuckie added. “I'd assume he's banking on it.”

“Ah, Elaine, do you want the job?” Jeff asked.

She looked at Mom. “That's why you brought me out here?”

Mom shrugged. “So many times, the best man for the job is a woman. Sometimes that woman has been overlooked because she was being a good wife. But right now, the country needs the right leadership. Not people who want it, necessarily, but those who will actually do with the power as they should.”

“Senator McMillan always says that you have to do what you know is right, even when you might not want to, unless you can know the hearts and minds of those who would or could take your place.”

“Don's a good man. I . . . I'd like to know his opinion on this, before I say yes or no.”

“Figured you would.” Mom held out her phone. I read the text on it before Elaine did.
Elaine Armstrong is a bold and wonderful choice for Secretary of State. If you can convince her, I can convince Congress.

Elaine seemed overwhelmed. “If this helps you make your decision, I'd appreciate it if you said yes,” Jeff said gently.

She smiled and looked up at him. “It does. Yes, Mister President, thank you, I'll take the position.”

Tim's phone beeped. “Glad we have that settled. We need to get through the rest of this, then Chuck, Raj, and Elaine need to go through the entire White House staff pronto. Per Claudia and Lorraine, Marion Villanova has disappeared.”

“I'm renaming the Super Group to the Noxious Nine.”

“Duly noted,” Chuckie said with a laugh.

Reader's phone beeped. “What Tim said. And, per Buchanan, Drax is here.”

“Time to keep the party going, apparently.” Turned to Elaine as some of the others started off. “Is it too forward of me to ask you to move your stuff into a room you'd prefer here at the White House?”

If getting asked to become the Secretary of State had shocked her, this request of mine definitely took that shock all the way up to eleven. “Ah . . . what?”

Heaved a sigh. “I'm already stressing Antoinette and the rest of the staff out of their minds. And it's only been a week and we aren't moved in yet. I can't imagine what it's going to be like for them by next week, but either they need help or I need help.”

Elaine laughed and patted my hand. “Sorry, I already put a deposit down on an apartment at the Cairo, based on Nathalie's suggestion. We're going to be neighbors.”

I'd been shocked when Nathalie hadn't moved out of the building where her husband had been murdered. But she'd said that Edmund had loved it there so much that she couldn't bear to leave it. Apparently this was true, and she was starting the Washington Widow's Wing. Sincerely hoped there weren't going to be more residents there any time soon.

“Oh well, it was worth a shot.”

“I don't know why you're worried. Your Pierre will solve everything.”

“But he's the Embassy's Concierge Majordomo. I can't make him the Chief Usher here. So what role could he have?”

“First Lady's Chief of Staff,” she replied without missing a beat. “Or White House Social Secretary. You get your own Press Secretary, too, and you're in charge of the Chief Floral Designer, the Executive Chef, and so on.”

“You're kidding.”

“No.” She smiled. “You have almost as many positions to fill as Jeff does.”

“Gee, how lucky can you get?”

“So, go get your man away from that other woman.”

Burst out laughing. “I'll definitely have to fight Doreen for him. Especially since I don't have a suggestion for who could replace him.” And the Embassy needed Pierre as much as I did. Maybe more than I did—Pierre was not only the most competent man on Earth, he was also the only one in the Embassy not changing roles or having his life upended in some way.

Elaine shrugged. “You'll figure it out, Kitty. I have total faith in you.” She squeezed my hand. “Just like you do in
me.” She kissed my cheek. “Thank you for the vote of confidence. I think this is what Vince would have wanted.”

“I'm sure of it.”

Everyone else started off now, Elaine and Jeff discussing something extremely political that I decided I didn't need to know about.

Noted Serene and Mom, mostly because they weren't going inside and, in fact, weren't even facing the way the others were—they were looking off in the distance. Looked where they were as I went to join them.

There was someone coming toward us from the South Lawn. Due to what had just gone on, any White House tours had been suspended until the government was back in order. So all tourists and visitors were supposed to be kept out. Yet there was a woman getting nearer.

As I reached Mom and Serene I realized a couple of things. The woman coming toward us looked like me and she was wearing a pink linen suit. I'd owned a suit like that, six years ago. A suit exactly like it, in fact. And I'd been wearing that suit when my first superbeing formed in front of me and Operation Fugly started. And she, in point of fact, didn't just look like me —she looked
just
like me.

Of course, memory shared that we'd discovered someone else wearing the exact same outfit during Operation Fugly—the robot who'd been with Ronald Yates, presumably to be put into action to kill my mother once I was dead. And my mother was here, and that meant that I had a really good guess for who the Kitty-Bot was aiming for. My mother was dead in Bizarro World, and I'd thought she was going to die here during Operation Epidemic. Mom was not getting killed on my watch, especially not due to something made to look like me.

Despite all that had happened, I'd kind of forgotten about my personal robot or android or whatever she actually was, probably because I'd only seen “me” in a picture and the robot had never been seen again.

But there “I” was right now, striding along, making a beeline for the Rose Garden.

“You seeing what I'm seeing?” I asked Mom as I rummaged around in my purse.

“I am. You know, I'd forgotten about this, don't ask me why.”

“Was just berating myself for the same forgetfulness, Mom.”

“It's a good copy. That suit's as bedraggled as I always remember it being when you wore it.”

“You're hilarious, Mom. Serene?” Found my iPod. In this situation I didn't want to risk my phone. Plugged in my earbuds.

“Yes, Kitty?”

“Go get Chuckie, as fast as possible, and ensure that no one allows Jeff or anyone else politically important out of the White House. Whatever that Kitty-Bot has in mind, I can guarantee it isn't good, and Chuckie's the only one who knows how to deactivate these things before they go boom.” Of course, I knew how to deactivate them in a different way.

“Ah, what are you going to be doing, Kitty?” Serene asked, though, to her credit, I could see she was poised to run.

Because I was enhanced from the mother-and-child feedback that had happened when Jamie was born—since Jeff had been altered by the Surcenthumain, aka the Superpowers Drug, that our enemies had snuck into him, Jamie had been altered, too—I was kind of an A-C now. No double hearts, but all the other bells and whistles.

So I definitely had the hyperspeed and the super strength. I knew what the Kitty-Bot had been programmed to do before, and I doubted anyone had altered her programming all that much now.

Clipped my iPod to the waist of my skirt, put in my ear buds, dropped my purse, selected my I Still Got It playlist, and hit play. I was in my FLOTUS colors, meaning an iced blue suit, cream blouse, and sensible cream pumps. Kicked off my sensible pumps. The FLOTUS clothes would just have to adapt or die.

“I'm going to be kicking android or robot, depending, butt.” Then I took off, straight for the android version of me, with Rachel Platten's “Fight Song” in my ears.