Camp Alien (30 page)

T
HE THREE OF US FROZE.
Some things make you stop in your tracks. Some, like seeing Jeff on our wedding day, were great reasons. Some, like what we were watching right now, were not.

The pile was moving, as if the androids on the bottom were trying to move the ones on top of them. My iPod started up and I knew I hadn't jostled it. Instead of the song I'd had on repeat, we now had “Electric Worry” by Clutch playing. Loved this song, but memory shared that it had been used for a video game—one about killing zombies.

“I think they've rebooted or whatever,” Lizzie said, her voice only shaking a little bit.

Mahin opened her mouth, but whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the pile sort of exploding out, as the first android we'd taken down crawled out and over the pile of his duplicated brethren.

“Kill it!” Mahin screamed. “Kill it with fire!” Then she started really yelling, but in Farsi. I had no idea what she was saying, but I was pretty sure that the words “kill” and “fire” were in there.

Adrenaline is a funny thing. When it came to fight or flight, I was usually on the side of kick 'em in the tenders first, run away later. Right now, though, I really wanted to run. Only Mahin was freaking out in the doorway and, due to all the metal she was holding, was actually blocking any escape Lizzie and I could hope to make.

Looked at said teenager. For the first time she looked terrified. “They really
are
zombie androids,” she said, her voice heading to the level where only dogs would be able to
hear her. Normally I thought of that as my personal register, but couldn't really fault Lizzie for going there.

Lizzie was a kid, and she was, for all intents and purposes right now,
my
kid. Sure, I hadn't given birth to her, sure she had an adopted father, but she was my ward, and besides Batman hadn't birthed any of the Robins, either, but they were his wards, and that meant Batman was going to do all that he could to save whichever Robin, even though he'd put said Robin in danger in the first place. Apparently I had a
lot
in common with Batman right now.

However, I also had zombie androids, and they were terrifying my friend and my kid.

Rage hit, in all its She-Hulk and Wolverine's Berserker Rage glory. Pulled the footboard and headboard out of Lizzie's hands, let the headboard fall, then took one end of the footboard and started slamming it against the android as if the footboard was a baseball bat and the android was good ol' Beverly, who'd tried to do horrific things to Jeff during Operation Fugly.

They might have been tough, they might have been rough, they might have been made of metal and wires and nothing else nice, but these androids didn't stand a chance against me right now.

I was slamming what appeared to be an indestructible piece of metal and wood against these things, to the song that was now on repeat, and I just made sure that they were splattering as much as androids could splatter.

Slam, spin, slam, kick, slam, jump up and down on the body, slam some more. Lost count of which one I was destroying and just kept on. Realized that Mahin and Lizzie were helping again, beating the androids with the metal bars. They were also kicking, stomping, and jumping on the bodies.

I was going faster than either one of them, though, and not just because Lizzie was a human and Mahin was a hybrid without the double-hearts. I was revved to the top of my adrenal rush and everything else around me was in slow motion, just like it had been during Operation Confusion, when my husband and friends had been chained up and tortured.

Was glad Jeff wasn't around because my rage and our terror would have really affected him badly. Just channeled
worry about what he'd be doing if he was here into smashing more androids.

Sooner than I'd have thought, we had no more moving parts in here. It looked like a horrific murder scene, which was to say that it still fit the entire motif of this House of Horrors and didn't even look out of place.

We stopped and backed away.

“Wow,” Lizzie said finally. “I guess they do die.”

“When you turn them into separate parts and make the parts mush, yeah, they do.”

Mahin was muttering about how this place should be burned to the ground. Had never realized she had arson in her veins, but clearly she was Old School and believed in setting the monsters on fire. Couldn't argue with the logic, just didn't want to turn a gigantic building to ash because I knew that wouldn't play out well for us.

“Let's get out of here and help the others.”

“Should we turn off the music?” Lizzie asked.

“Um, yeah, I guess.” I mean, clearly Algar was going to turn it on anyway. Felt something brush my cheek, and looked around. No one was there, but I thought I saw movement out of the corner of my eye again. But when I looked, nothing. Okay, so maybe the music wasn't Algar, but was a helpful spirit. I'd ask Algar later. And take whatever help we could get, ghostly or otherwise.

We gathered up our makeshift yet extremely effective weapons—the footboard was banged up and dented, as were some of the metal bars, but they were in useable shape, and the headboard hadn't been touched yet.

Put the iPod on pause but put my earbuds back in and started my own music up. Band of Horse's “Is There A Ghost” came on. Nice to see Algar was keeping his sense of humor.

We headed downstairs carefully and cautiously, but as quickly as we could. Naturally, I got lost, so Lizzie ended up taking point, though I kept close to her. However, having destroyed the zombie androids seemed to have emboldened her, and she wasn't nearly as freaked out as she had been.

Other than seeing more decay, desolation, and a variety of horrific things in every room we passed, we didn't come across any more androids. Since I'd seen the remaining
dozen surrounding White and Abigail, this wasn't a surprise, but it confirmed that we didn't have even more androids out after us. At least not yet.

We found the back doors and slunk through them. To hear the sound of what I was pretty prepared to say was a rocket launcher.

S
HOVED MAHIN
and pulled Lizzie back against the wall. “Stay down,” I said quietly. It wasn't hard to stay hidden—there was a ton of trash back here, including what looked like old refrigerators, vending machines, and beds. Truly, Forest Haven was a little slice of heaven.

Of course, all the crap made it hard to see. Wanted to get out there, but also didn't want to get hit. Hyperspeed seemed like the obvious choice but, with all the stuff we were holding, it was out of the question. And while some might have just dumped their weapons and done the running thing, I didn't have faith that said weapons would be here when we got back. I also couldn't guarantee I could find them again in all the trash.

Handed Lizzie the footboard, then held the headboard up as a sort of makeshift shield. “You two stay behind me and be ready to run.” With that, we started off toward the sounds of explosions, hiding behind the Mighty Headboard Shield, “Rocket Queen” by Guns N' Roses in my ears.

The convenient thing about there being explosions is that it gave us a direction to head for. Shoved aside the thought that only lunatics headed toward the sounds of explosions, since I ran toward stuff like this all the time.

The building was a long rectangle, and we'd come out in the middle of it. The action was ahead of us, but on the other side of a gigantic pile of trash. So, around the trash we went, crouched down like we were trying to win the Duck Walking Championship.

Of course, using the headboard as a shield that we were all ducking behind meant that we couldn't see anything.
And because I was the one holding it, I couldn't peek around either side. Either I had to keep going blind or I had to lower the headboard and expose my head. Neither option seemed all that brilliant.

“Can you hold this?” I asked Mahin quietly.

She nodded, put down the bars, and took the headboard from me. We still had the pile of trash on our right, so the only option was for me to peek around the left, which I did, wondering if we were actually being stealthy or if we weren't being attacked because our enemies were laughing so hard.

There wasn't anyone that I could see. Though there were what looked like some destroyed android parts nearby.

Took the headboard back and, while Mahin picked up the metal bars again, decided that, even though explosions were still happening, we could walk upright and all that jazz right now. Still held the headboard in front of us, but with my head exposed so I could see.

We could move faster this way, which was good. Once we were near them, it was easy to confirm that the parts were indeed android and they weren't going to start moving on their own any time soon.

“Where are Richard and Abigail?” Mahin asked.

“No idea. They were in this area, but I don't see them.”

“Maybe they're with whoever's blowing the androids up,” Lizzie suggested.

“Maybe they're the ones who are blowing them up,” Mahin added.

“They weren't looking like they were winning when I saw them, and they didn't have weapons with them. And until we see who's got the rocket launcher or bazooka or whatever, we don't assume they're our friend.”

Looked around. Other than trash and android parts, I didn't see anything else that shouldn't be here. The explosions now sounded like they were on the other side of the metal boxes that, now that we were near them, did appear to be metal cargo containers. Had no idea what they were doing here, but decided that if we could avoid ever going into them, it would probably be in our best interests.

There was enough room between the sets of cargo containers that we could still use the Mighty Headboard Shield, so we did. As we neared the end of the middle set of three
and could therefore see the lone, off-kilter one, I spotted White and Abigail. They were using the cargo container that was at an angle as a far better shield than we were working with.

There was a figure dressed all in black, wearing a black backpack and a black helmet, and this person was at the near end of the building shooting what was indeed a bazooka of some kind. My time with Centaurion Division had taught me that there were many kinds of personal rocket launchers, but I wasn't close enough to name the make and model of the one in current use. They kept shooting, reloading, and shooting again, in a very fast and efficient manner.

“Who is that?” Lizzie whispered.

“I'm not sure—”

Would have said more, but my music changed to Aerosmith's “Dude (Looks Like A Lady)” and I stopped talking and did a closer examination. The person wasn't large, but they were very comfortable with the weapon. White and Abigail weren't trying to get away from this person, either—as near as I could tell, they were being protected, not held captive. And that backpack looked vaguely familiar.

The person stopped firing and turned to those two, indicating they should come with. They did as requested.

Decided we'd waited long enough. Besides, we had our Mighty Headboard Shield. We were safe. Trotted across the little clearing—looking both ways for incoming androids—and followed the others as they took off for the two other containers diagonally across this clearing from this oddly angled one.

Checked the clearing—lots and lots of android parts. No functioning androids were standing, running, attacking or even visible. “Did you guys get them all?” I asked as we took cover, just in case, behind these last containers.

All three of them jumped, but the person in the motorcycle helmet nodded. Good, enemies accounted for, at least for now.

White and Abigail looked relieved to see us. “I didn't realize you were behind us, Missus Martini. We were about to start searching for you,” he said.

Abigail nodded. “We had a little difficulty that delayed us. Like, you know, being surrounded by hostile androids.”

“Yeah, I saw you from an upstairs window. Where we were having to beat and shoot our androids into submission, seeing as we didn't have the snazzy rocket launcher.”

“Our rescuer only had the one,” White said.

“Yeah, well, I'm sure she didn't have time to grab a lot of things. Adriana, let me say with all sincerity that it's really great to see you.”

She flipped the visor of what was absolutely a motorcycle helmet up. “Grandmother says that she'd like you all to come by and have some refreshments when we're done here. And yes, all the hostiles are down.”

Adriana was the granddaughter of the Romanian Ambassador, which, since their embassy was across the street from ours, was why we'd met. However, though her grandmother, Olga, was currently mostly confined to a wheelchair due to MS, she was former KGB and had been training Adriana in the Old Ways. Adriana had saved my life more than once, and was considered a vital part of the team.

Olga was also the Oracle. From the vantage point of her second-floor office that had two windows that looked out onto two rather mundane streets, she knew everything that was going on. Figured the invitation to drop by was a hint that indicated that Olga felt we were all being too slow to catch on to what was really going on. Was sure she was right, so looked forward to the upcoming mental gymnastics, since Olga liked to make you work for it.

Therefore, Adriana being our rescuer wasn't a surprise. What did surprise me, though, was that everyone else looked surprised by this reveal, White and Abigail included.

“Really, gang? Okay, I admit that I was watching for pursuit and saw a motorcycle several times on our trip here. But she's too small to be Malcolm, Siler, Len, or Kyle, and our A-C Field agents can't ride a bike. At least, not yet. And let's face it—Adriana's amazingly well trained. Why are you keeping the helmet on, though?”

Adriana shrugged. “I figured it was more important to figure out what was going on and do what I could to rescue you. Besides, extra protection doesn't hurt.”

“Truer words and all that. By the way, I think Lizzie and I know where the helicarrier is.”

“Across from these containers, yes.”

“Show-off.”

Adriana giggled. “I like to keep you impressed.”

White cleared his throat. “Sadly these aren't containers, though they do look like it. Abigail and I thought we might find either hostages or weapons in these. We've been inside. These were classrooms. Of a sort.”

“I thought they looked like those portable classrooms we had when I was in grade school. Never my favorite place to be.”

“Trust me when I say that these are worse than anything you've experienced, Missus Martini, and leave it at that.”

“Gotcha.”

“Why are you holding that headboard?” Abigail asked. “I mean, I think it's a headboard.”

“It is, and, as Adriana said, extra protection never hurts.”

“How is that protection?” White asked.

“I'm holding it as a shield.” Decided I could put it down for the moment. “The footboard that Lizzie has was amazingly effective when we had to smash androids that we thought we'd already taken offline.” Lizzie kept a hold on the footboard, though Mahin put the metal bars down.

Adriana nodded. “Len said you'd been taken by an android. That's why I brought
vechi de incredere
, here.” She patted the bazooka.

“What does that mean in Romanian?”

“It would translate to Old Trusty for you.”

That was what I called my purse and what Olga apparently called her personal bazooka. Didn't know whether this made me more normal than Olga or less prepared and realistic. Probably both.

“Aha. Nice to see that Olga kept some mementos from her KGB days to pass down to you. So, did Len call you or something? Or is Olga even more prescient than even I think and you called him?”

She laughed. “No. He'd texted me, to ask me to drop by, when Crystal Maurer arrived. I was on my way to meet up with all of you when he called me, right after he and the others went back into the Teetotaler, after you'd been taken. He felt that I was the only one likely to react with the kind of speed he wanted, especially since I was already on the way.”

Considered this. Why would Len think everyone was acting slowly? He'd texted with Buchanan earlier. And Buchanan had sent Falk immediately. Nothing wrong with
those actions. Other than the fact that Buchanan hadn't been the one to come. But I'd assigned him and the others to a job, and maybe Jeff had sent him to do something, too.

None of that said too slowly, though. So, maybe Len had called someone else before he'd called Adriana, and whoever that was had told him that a political response was going to be necessary.

“Ah. They're trying to minimize fallout and not get the press involved.”

“So Grandmother believes. Though she wasn't entirely convinced and feels that more could be going on.”

“I'll take the obscure hint under advisement. Did you get your ammo from us?”

“No. It's all ours. But Grandmother said to tell you that it was on the house.”

“I love Olga. So, you guys just happen to have personal rocket launchers lying around the Romanian embassy?”

“Yes. Don't you?”

“Honestly? Yes.” Maybe every embassy in town was armed to the teeth. The Israelis and Bahrainis certainly were. Or maybe it was just the embassies we hung with. “And you were bringing it with you to come have tea with us?”

“Yes. Len said there was something wrong with Crystal and that I should assume she was an android. Therefore, I came, as you Americans like to say, armed for bear.”

“Trust me, I am
not
complaining. So, is anyone else planning to come rescue us? Just asking and all that.”

Adriana shook her head as she took her helmet off. “I don't know. I was focused on finding you and then tailing you so that I wouldn't be noticed. I have no cellular service here, though, so I assume we're being scrambled or dampened in this area.”

“Yeah, that's my guess, too. I was able to keep my phone on while we were driving, but I have nothing here, either. So, we work under the assumption that if a bigger cavalry is on the way, it's going to take them time to find us.”

“Possibly much time. It was hard for me to tell, by the way, but I believe that I lost coverage sooner than when I arrived here. I believe I lost it once I was near to your car.”

“Fantastic. Maybe once we're farther from the car we'll get service again, but I never count on things working out
that well. Okay, so, are we sure all the androids are destroyed?”

“There were twelve that had Mister White and Abigail surrounded,” Adriana said. “And I've destroyed all of them.” She nodded toward the android carnage in the clearing. Recounted. Yep, there were twelve android heads, or what was left of them.

“Go team. We took care of our thirteen. So that means that, with the first ones we hopefully put out of commission, we got them all. But what about the Kendroid?”

White shook his head. “We haven't seen him, and believe me, we looked.”