Calling for a Miracle [The Order of Vampyres 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) (12 page)

“Are you the angel of death?” she asked accusingly and he was shocked that she would associate his presence with death. He was merely a quiet bystander of her dreams up until this point. “If you are, I suggest you go away. I’m not ready to go. You’ve taken enough from my grandchildren. Leave me be!”

Her words were clipped and resolute, but Jonas saw the slight trembling of her chin, the uncertainty and vulnerability of her eyes. If he were the angel of death, she still would not lower herself to beg for time, no, his mate was too dignified for that.

“I am no angel of death or otherwise,” Jonas assured her and some of the tension left her shoulders.

“Then who are you? Did you know Sharon?”

“Sharon?”

“Yes, my daughter, Dane and Cybil’s mother,” she replied, jerking her chin to the plot.

“I am sorry, I did not.”

“Then what business do you have here? This is my memory, my nightmare. I have seen you here many times yet I have no idea who you are.”

“I am Jonas.”

“And what does that mean to me, Jonas?”

Apparently nothing, Jonas thought, as he hoped her presence in his dreams could mean to him, but he knew better. He knew he could not remain a quiet bystander forever. “Eventually I will come to you, Clara.” At the use of her name she stiffened, sharp, blue eyes drilled into his. “When I come to you I will offer you the gift of eternal life. You will offer me salvation.”

She laughed in a way that lacked humor. “I see I truly am dreaming. You cannot promise me eternal life any more than I can promise the children a home that will survive the next year.”

“The children have lost their mother,” he stated and she nodded. “You are all they have left?”

“Yes. Isn’t God thoughtful? He has given two children an old woman at the end of her life to watch over them.” Her words dripped with sarcasm and Jonas could not help but smile.

“I also have found issue with our Lord’s decisions as of late.”

“Have you lost someone?”

“No, but I will soon.”

“In seventy-two years I have never forsaken my God, yet now that I am running out of time, I find myself wondering what I had ever done to deserve the life I was dealt. Perhaps death is the reward. I find life more and more punishing the longer it goes on.”

Seventy-two. She did not look seventy-two for a mortal. She looked much younger to Jonas, but what did he know. He was a century-and-a-half-old immortal. “God has also bestowed me with a fate I find unkind.”

“And what is that?”

He took a deep breath. He would be honest. “I will likely die very soon.”

The smile that spread across Clara’s face was unexpected. “So will I. The doctors tell me I only have a few months left.”

“How can any man decide such a thing?”

“Science,” she stated concisely. “I find it rather inconvenient to know such things. I would prefer ignorance. At least if I were ignorant, I would be able to enjoy my grandchildren in these last moments rather than find myself in a constant state of distraction, burdened with worry over what will become of them.”

“And what will become of them?”

“They will eventually fall under state custody. If they are lucky, they will remain together, but the chances of that are unlikely. It has been six weeks since Sharon was killed and Cybil has not spoken a word since. Dane seems to understand what she needs, but if he is taken away from his sister, who knows what will happen to her. Psychologists will label her and she will have only some state-employed excuse of an advocate looking out for her well-being.

“So you see, Jonas, while it is all well and good to fantasize about eternal life, it will never be more than a fantasy. I have real issues that require my attention. I suggest you go pester someone else.”

“And what if what I said was true? What if neither of us had to die?”

She laughed again, this time it was dry and brittle and caused her to cough for a moment. Jonas waited as she recovered. “Why would I want to stay in this life? I feel as if I am steadily losing those I love. First my husband and son-in-law, now my daughter, not to mention numerous friends and my cat. I want to go. I want to leave this place with nothing more than a hope and prayer in my pocket that I will find my husband, Arthur, in the hereafter. The only purpose I would serve by staying is in acting as a guardian for my grandchildren. I love them dearly, but I am tired. I am all out of fight. I want to go home.”

“I could take away your tiredness.”

“For a young man you seem to have an issue with your hearing. I do not wish for my youth or vitality. I only wish for peace. This life is a burden I can no longer bear.”

It was Jonas’s turn to laugh. “I assure you I am no young man.”

“Not a young man, not an angel, what are you then?”

“I don’t know. I thought I was a good man, but perhaps I am not.”

Clara began to cough. The children standing to her right no longer seemed alive, but rather two-dimensional figures frozen in time, as did the man with the bible. The drizzle that had begun, no longer fell from the sky, but stood suspended in midair. The trees and grass remained in a perpetual breeze that never increased or decreased in force nor changed direction.

“What is happening?” he asked.

“This is one of my paintings. I have painted this day a hundred times. Don’t worry, it will fade. In the end I always wash it away.”

Just as she said it would, the gray clouds began to bleed into the fading-blue sky. Browns formed as the smudges from the sky blended with the faded autumn leaves on the trees. Like puddles of mud, the children melted away. The black casket covered in yellow roses became a whirlpool of black where all the colors smeared into the center of the page. Clara stood before him covered in paint as if she had been working in her studio for days.

“You see, Jonas, nothing lasts forever. Beauty fades, as do our memories. The only thing that continues on in this world is the pain.”

“I don’t want to hurt anymore,” he suddenly confessed as if this woman could take away all the pain that had been suffocating him of late, all the hurt he had put in Abilene’s eyes.

“And that is why I welcome death.” She turned and walked away. Jonas’s vision slowly faded into black just as the paint had.

He felt his body settle into his bones and out of a dreamlike state. Before he opened his eyes, he drew in a deep breath and found comfort in the scent of his home. He opened his eyes from his seat facing the fireplace of their den. At first he did not see her. At first all he noticed was that the fire had burned low and was due for another log. It wasn’t until he looked toward the woodpile at the foot of the hearth that he saw her and froze.

Abilene stood stock-still, her expression one of utter disbelief. Her arms hung lifeless at her side and her face seemed drained of blood. Her eyes watched him, never once seeming to blink as her mouth hung open in shock.

Her voice was no more than a breath whispered over the chilled air, but he heard her nonetheless. “You were dreaming.”

Unable to speak, unable to form a lie, at least not to his undeserving wife, he simply stared back at her, hoping she saw the agony he felt over what was happening to him. Minutes passed. Not a word was spoken.

The silence of the room was shattered when she suddenly shouted, “
Answer me!”

He swallowed and the dryness of his throat chafed all the way down to his heart. This would destroy her. “Yes,” he admittedly whispered with a voice so weighted in grief it sounded nothing like his own.

Abilene’s body began to tremble. Her lips were devoid of color and her soft, brown eyes suddenly took on the feline quality their kind often had when they were experiencing heightened emotions. Males often had those eyes when in a rage. He had never heard Abilene even raise her voice before today. He had only seen her eyes turn when she was in the throes of lust. She certainly was not feeling lust now. Her emotions were as heavy as lead, painful and inescapable in the drafty room.

“Abilene—”

“How long?” she interrupted. “How long have you kept this from me?”

Of course she would be more upset that he had kept it from her than the fact that it was actually happening. “Over two months,” he confessed. She turned her face away from him. “I didn’t want to hurt you, Abilene.”

“And yet, I do not remember the last time I felt happiness or pleasure from your attentions. I suppose it was about two months ago.”

“I never intended to keep it from—”

“Do not insult me further by lying. You have known this…this thing for over two months and done nothing but keep it from me. You have brought your lies into our home, our bedroom, our marriage!” Her voice quivered with emotion and she angrily swiped at her fallen tears with the back of her hand.

No longer could he ignore her distress. He stepped toward her, prepared to hold her in his arms the way he had wanted to so many times since this had begun, but she stepped away from him. “Abilene, please. I was trying to protect you.”

She looked at him, her red eyes brimming over with tears. She shook her head slowly. “There’s no protection from this, Jonas. No protection from God and His will.”

“I don’t have to go,” he said, his own voice thick with tears.

“Then you shall die as your uncle did. There is no way to ignore a
calling
.
Either way I will lose you and you have wasted maybe the last two months we will ever have by lying to me and ignoring me.”

“Don’t say that.”

“Say what? The truth? I speak the truth, Jonas. The man I married valued that quality. Why don’t you?”

“I cannot accept that this is our fate.”

“Then you are a fool.”

“I need to hold you, Abilene. I need to feel you in my arms right now in this moment. Please come to me. Don’t let this distance between us continue. It has been killing me.”

“I needed you to hold me a week ago when you placed a cold cup of blood on our nightstand. This distance that has poisoned our marriage is here because you allowed it into our home with your lies. Was I not a good wife to you, Jonas? An obedient wife? Perhaps I did not bear all the children you had dreamed of—”

“You have given me four beautiful children and that is enough.”

“Either way, I married you because you told me you would never hurt me. I was to be your helpmate, your partner in this life. I could maybe accept the fact that destiny is unpredictable, but I cannot forgive how you have hurt me these past few months. At least not tonight.”

He felt as if a vise had grabbed hold of his heart and was slowly crushing him to death. Tears fell from his eyes as he watched her walk away from him. For the first time in sixty years, she had told him no. And yet, he could only blame himself.

Chapter 7