California's Calling (Hunt Family Book 3) (9 page)

"I'm right here in your way," I agreed, nodding in an unsympathetic way.

"You know what happens to people who are in my way?" he asked.

He was staring at my mouth, so I knew what he was thinking.

"You know what happens?" he repeated when I didn't answer.

"Their mouth is forced to come into contact with your mouth?" I asked, whispering tentatively.

"Yes," he said.

I thought about it for a second and then shrugged. "I guess I'm in your way."

Chapter 14

I could still feel Cub's kiss on my lips a few minutes later when we were on our way to his house. I reached up and absentmindedly touched my fingers to my mouth, but put them down quickly once I realized what I was doing.

The day had passed too quickly.

The sun was beginning to set while we were in the truck, and the reality of leaving the next day really started to sink in.

"Are you gonna be okay without that dog?" Mia asked.

She and I had talked about it when we were first starting to clean up after the reception, and she knew I was planning on taking Tess. She thought Cub might be offering just to be nice, and she voiced her concern about it, but I was dead set on taking her with me. It wasn't just because I wanted her as a pet, which I did. It was because it felt like I'd have a small piece of Cub. He had said the same thing to me about it, and I completely understood what he meant by that. Tess was coming with me; that's all there was to it. The gift was an expression of love between Cub and me, but I didn't bother trying to explain that to Mia, so she was still trying to give Cub a way out of it.

"I'll be fine," Cub said, answering her question. "I'll go to the pound and get another one just like her."

I pushed at his leg. "No you will not," I said. "There's no more like her." I glanced at him, and he smiled and shrugged. I knew he was just acting tough and he'd miss her like crazy.

"I can't believe y'all are gonna go through with it," Mia said, since she had no clue. "Is your mom okay with it?"

Her question made me feel like a little girl at a moment when I was trying desperately to be a woman. "I'm a grown-up," I said. "I live with my parents by choice. But, yes, to answer your question, dad was excited when I told him about Tess. He loves her. Logan was too. She needs to meet Sampson."

"I guess y'all know what you're doing, then," Mia said shrugging.

Cub put his hand on my leg and gave it a quick squeeze, and I rested my head on the edge of his shoulder for the remainder of the ride to his house.

***

The four of us (plus Tess) stayed up late that night to make the most of our dwindling time together. It was crazy to think that we'd all be going our separate ways. Cub would stay there, Mia would go home to Charlotte, I'd go to California, and Evan, well, who knows where Evan would go next.

We laughed and told stories, cutting up like crazy until we were all too tired to do anything but put on a movie. It was well past midnight, and my eyes were getting heavy. Cub was lying on one couch and Evan and Mia were sitting on the other. I had been sharing the couch with Cub earlier in the evening, but Tess asked me to sit on the floor with her, so that's where I was at the moment.

We were in the middle of watching the movie, and her head was in my lap when I felt Cub's hand touch my head. I could have turned to glance at him, but I didn't want the movement to draw attention to us. His fingertips traveled under my ear to the sensitive spot right under my jaw. He gave a little push just at the spot where I knew he could feel my heartbeat.

I took a slow, deliberate breath as I reached up gently to place my hand over his. I tried to make it look like I just had my hand up there in a casual, comfortable position as I watched the move, but his fingers were trapped under mine, and my heart continued to pound like crazy because of it.

"I'm going to bed," I said, realizing I could take no more after a minute of that. I tried to deliver the news in a convincingly tired tone, so that everyone would think it was a general statement.

"I'm tired, too," Mia said, stretching upward with a groan.

"Come on, little girl," I said with my own groan as I stood.

"Night," Mia said, waving at the boys. "I had fun tonight."

Cub smiled and gave her a little wave. "Yeah, you guys are pretty okay," he said.

"Night," Evan said, stretching out onto the couch and pulling a blanket up over his shoulders.

"Night," I said. I waved at Evan first and then at Cub. I didn't even want to look at Cub. I wished I could just go ahead and leave to get it over with. I smiled as I barely glanced at him before turning to head down the hall.

Mia and I both went to brush our teeth before heading to bed. Tess was already in her spot and didn’t even move when I came back from brushing my teeth. I'd been thinking about writing Cub a letter. I didn't want to be too gushy or to harp on what could have been, but I felt like it was important to thank him and tell him how fondly I thought of him. Fondly. I tucked the word in the back of my mind, hoping I'd remember to use it in my letter. Maybe I'd just say that I had done my best to stay unattached, but that he made it exceptionally hard on me. I'd figure it out once I sat down with a piece of paper.

I turned on Cub's bedside lamp and sat on the edge of his bed, staring down at the drawer. I wanted to write a letter, but I didn't want to be the big dork who went out there and asked him for a piece of paper after I had just said how tired I was. I glanced at Tess as if waiting for her to protest if she thought Cub would mind me digging through his stuff. I put my fingers on the handle, but couldn't work up the nerve to open it. Maybe I was scared I'd find a letter from Ashley, or better yet, a picture of her.

I almost jumped out of my skin when Cub cleared his throat from the door. I gasped and turned to find him standing in the doorway, smiling at me.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered. I noticed my hand was still resting on his drawer, and I brought it to my lap. "I was just, I wanted to know if you had a piece of pa—" I stopped midsentence and slapped my hand to my forehead.
What a dork.
I took a deep breath, and smiled as I let my shoulders slump. "I was just thinking about you," I said. "I wanted to leave you a note. You know, just saying I'd take care of Tess and everything."

"You can do better than that," he said, smiling confidently at me as he slowly began to cross the room to stand closer.

"I really was looking for paper!" I said, thinking he didn't like my excuse for digging in his drawer.

"I meant you could do better than that on the note," he said. "I already know you'll take care of Tess. Tell me something I don't know."

"That I'm—" I started to say, but he cut me off with a hand in the air.

"I thought you were telling me in the note," he said.

I stared up at him for a few silent seconds. "What are you doing in here?" I asked.

"I'm not writing you a note," he said.

He reached down to grab my hand before pulling me up and into his arms. He caught me and held me there tightly. I felt like I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time—totally delirious.

"Charlotte, I feel like if I don't come right out and say it before you leave, I'll always regret it," he whispered. "So stay. Stay in Africa. Please stay with me."

There was nothing I could do to stop tears from springing to my eyes. His voice and the words he spoke touched my ears in a way they'd never been touched. My heart was actually breaking at that very moment.

I rested my forehead on his collarbone with a defeated sigh. "I can't, Cub. I'd freak out over here without my family."

It was obvious by the way I spoke that it was killing me to say it. I had fallen so hard for him that it made me nauseous to think about leaving. He squeezed me and kissed my head before releasing me. I felt naked without his arms wrapped around me.

He smiled at me and reached out to tap my cheek lightly with his knuckle. "I had to try," he said. "I would have never forgiven myself if I hadn't tried."

"I'm glad you did," I said. "It makes me feel better to know that the feeling's mutual."

"I really hope I've made that clear," Cub said.

"Me too," I said.

His lips tightened and he shook his head with an almost regretful expression. "I don't mean to bring God into this, but I thought He'd help me know when I thought I found the one."

"He will," I said.

"That's what I'm saying," Cub said. "I thought He did."

I stared into his eyes. "I know," I said sadly. "We could really be something if you lived in California."

"Or if you lived in Africa," he said.

"I don't want to be another Ashley," I said as I glanced away from him.

He reached out to pinch at my arm. "Don't compare yourself to her ever again. I was a kid, and she was nothing like you. Do you compare me with that guy—your teacher?"

I shook my head instantly. "There's no comparison," I said. I glanced away shyly. "I didn't know there could be a you."

"Well, I didn't know there could be a you either," he said. "That's why I'm wondering why God brought you over here to me just to let me get a little taste and then watch you go away."

"I don't know why either," I said. "Seems like a lot of trouble."

He nodded, regarding me with a serious expression. "It's a lot of trouble," he said.

"Tons of trouble."

"I guess I should go to bed," he said.

I nodded, knowing it was the right thing to do. "Cub?" I said, when he started to walk away.

He stopped and looked at me. I could do nothing to stop the tears from welling up in my eyes and falling out onto my cheeks. I didn't even pay attention to them; I just let them fall.

"If I wrote a letter, it'd probably say that I'm a better person because I met you. You changed the way I look at love, and family, and charity, and God. The whole world should just watch you and learn how to be a good person."

His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he stared at me. "Charlotte, you can not, absolutely not, say things like that to me." He was completely serious.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I will kidnap you and keep you locked away in my house forever. I will not be able to let you get on that plane tomorrow."

I sank my head in my hands, and before I knew it, his arms were wrapped around me again. He held me as I stood there and quietly sobbed. I was overwhelmed with emotion. There was absolutely no way I could commit to staying in Africa, yet there was no way I could leave Cub. For the next few minutes, he just stood there and held me as I got out a good cry. I needed it. I had been holding it in.

"Come on, Ladybug," he said, once I caught my breath. "I'll tuck you in."

I stretched out into the bed, and he sat beside me, using his hand to stroke the hair over my ear.

"You said I'd get attached, and you were right," I said.

"I knew we would," Cub said. "I should have known better. I felt something the second I met you. I should have made you stay at the center."

"He who says it's better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all must have never lost," I said, quoting him from when we first met.

"I still don't regret it," he said, smiling down at me.

I returned his smile. "Me neither." I paused before I said, "Cub?"

"Yeah?"

"How'd you get your name?"

Cub spent the next fifteen minutes telling me a grand tale of how he got his name. This one involved time travel, and had me smiling for real by the end. He stooped to kiss my forehead before he left. He almost stood up, but decided to kiss me again. This time, he put his mouth down right under my jaw in the spot we always touched each other. I tilted my head to give him better access and stayed there, barely breathing, as he left his lips on my neck long enough that I knew he could feel my heart.

"Night," he said, finally standing up.

"Night."

"There's paper in that drawer if you need it."

"Are you giving me permission to dig?"

He smiled. "My house is your house."

"Thank you," I whispered.

He lifted his chin at me and smiled as he turned away.

I wanted to say, "I love you." The words were on the tip of my tongue. I said it over and over again in my head as I watched him walk out the door.

Chapter 15

I dug in his drawer, found a piece of paper, and penned the following letter:

Cub,

I was going to skip writing the letter because I thought it would make things easier for both of us, but then I thought about something I should tell you. It's not that I love you, if that's what you're thinking. I do love you, but that's better left unsaid.

I wanted to tell you about my teacher. I know what I have to say will make you feel differently toward me. Consider it my parting gift to you. My teacher was married the whole time we were together. I was his mistress—the home-wrecker. I'm the villain in the story.

Anyway, I'm not going to tell you all the things I want to say about how great you are and how much it hurts to leave you. I just wanted to leave you with that little piece of truth in hopes that it will make saying goodbye easier.

All the best,

Charlotte

I went through about twenty different ways to close the letter, but left it at that and drew a picture of a tiny Ladybug near my name. I folded the paper and put it into his drawer before I went to sleep.

***

We had several small projects to finish the next day, and we all wanted to spend some quality time with the kids so time passed quickly. We had grown fond of everyone there, and leaving was bittersweet for all of us. It was probably bitter and sweet in equal parts for everyone else, but for me it was mostly bitter. I was excited about adopting Tess, and a piece of me missed my life in California, but I was having a really hard time getting over leaving Cub. I was on the verge of crying all day.

Our flight wasn't scheduled to depart until 8PM that evening, but like always, time slipped away, and before I knew it, we were standing in the driveway of the center, getting our bags packed into the SUVs. Cub wore a pair of his new jeans '
so that Rachel wouldn't think he disliked the stuff she brought'
. I didn't buy it. He knew how he looked in them.

He was staring straight at me as he walked toward me in the driveway. He had a long, athletic stride that made regret rise up in me all over again.

"You sure you don't want me to go with you to the airport?" he asked when he got close enough that he didn't have to yell.

I started shaking my head instantly. If he was standing there at the airport, I might change my mind about leaving.

There were so many of us traveling together that Logan had hired drivers to get us to and from the airports. None of Rachel's family was planning on going to the airport with us—it was something we had already discussed.

"It's already hard enough," I said, smiling regretfully. "It's best to just say goodbye and get it over with."

Tess, who had been standing next to me, went to Cub, and he stooped to pet her. I squatted as well.

"I'm not going to be able to watch this." I said, glancing around at absolutely anything besides the dreaded goodbye that was happening right in front of my eyes. I stood up, still refusing to look down at them.

"She'll be fine," Cub said, scratching her head as he stood up to make eye contact with me. "I'll be fine," he said, knowing I was reluctant about taking her. "I'll be fine, and she'll be fine. We'll both be fine." He reached out and tapped my cheek with his knuckle. "Remember what I said. She's going in my place."

I let out a sigh through my nose and glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention to us. My vision was suddenly getting blurry, and I realized my loathsome tears were starting up again. I looked up and blinked about ten times in an effort to dry my eyes.

"This is at
least
as terrible as I thought it would be," I said.

Cub looked down at Tess with a curious smile, which made me glance down at her.

"What?" I asked.

"Is she standing on your foot?" he asked, leaning over to try to see. He and I were standing a few feet away, but she was a big dog, and her front paw was on his foot while her back paw was on mine. I let out a little laugh as I blinked hard in an effort to chase the tears away.

"She's funny," I said.

Cub was smiling when he stooped again. "You take care of my girl," he said.

I hadn't been looking at him when he said it, and I still didn't look at him when I responded. "I will, I promise," I said, staring at the sky.

He stood and took me into his arms in a gesture that seemed like a goodbye hug. "I was talking to her," he said as he squeezed me. He let me go just as soon as he squeezed, and stepped back to smile at me.

It was nowhere near enough. That was an insufficient goodbye hug. It was so distant and noncommittal that it gave me a stomachache.

"What did you say?" I asked, since I couldn't remember a single thing that had just happened besides the super, ultra short hug.

"I said I was talking to her. I told Tess to take care of you, not you to take care of her."

"Oh!" I said, smiling, and not even realizing at the time that he had just called me "
his girl
".

I didn't realize that until two hours later when I was replaying the conversation from my seat on the plane.

It was too late now.

Tess was in her kennel in a comfortable boarding area, and I was officially on my way home.

She was fine.

I was fine.

We were all fine.

We'd go to California and everything would be fine and hot-dittily dandy.

"Are you all right?" I heard Dee-dee ask as she placed her hand on my thigh.

I had complained of a headache and traded places with my mom so that I could lean against the window to sleep. I had been sitting there pretending to be fast asleep since I didn’t feel much like talking.

"Ma'am?" I asked in a groggy voice.

"You were making a face like you were hurting," Dee-dee said. "I have some Excedrin in my purse if you need it."

I shook my head and attempted a smile. "No ma'am, it'll keep me up. Thank you anyway."

"I have Advil, too."

I shook my head again. "I'm okay," I said. "My headache's not that bad."

"Not as bad as heartache," she said.

I must have made a
how in the world do you know what I'm thinking
expression because she smiled at me.

"You don't have to tell me about it if you don't want to, baby."

"It's not that, I'm just not really sure what I'm feeling, much less how to put it into words."

"Why would you have to meet somebody who lives all the way over in Africa," Dee-dee whispered in an echo of my own thoughts.

"Exactly," I said sadly. I shook my head almost imperceptibly as I thought about it. "And it's sort of weird that his sister just married my brother," I added, not bothering to beat around the bush about who we were talking about.

"Why's that weird?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I don't know, really. Maybe it's not. I guess the Africa thing's more of the issue."

She let out a chuckle. "Did you talk about options for making it work out?" she asked.

"Who? Me and Cub?"

She nodded, and I shook my head in response.

"I'm not moving there, and he's not moving to the states. Neither of us could move."

"Did you ask him?" she asked.

"To what?" I asked.

"To come with you to California," she said, as if that was obvious.

Of course I had asked him to come with me… Hadn't I?

I nodded to answer her question as I tried to think back about what Cub said about moving to California. All I could remember was Rachel telling me she had been trying to get him to move for years. I knew I had talked to Cub about it myself but couldn’t remember exactly what he said.

"I knew when you told us he was giving you the dog that there'd be tears," she said.

"I hate tears," I said numbly.

Dee-dee squeezed my leg. "Everyone does," she said. "I don't know anyone who enjoys them—the sad sort, at least."

She paused before adding, "They do make the happy ones that much sweeter, though. One day you'll look back at this and it'll all be okay."

"When's that day?" I asked.

She gave me a half smile. "I guess that's different for everybody," she said. "And different for each valley we go through."

"This one seems really big to me," I said still feeling dazed.

"I know it does, sweetheart," she said. "But this, too, soon shall pass."

"My mom says that," I said.

"Who do you think your mama learned it from?" Dee-dee asked. "And we say it because it's true. Just keep reminding yourself of that. One day you'll have a family, and you'll have built a beautiful life. This boy will seem like a distant memory." She gave my leg another squeeze. "Believe it or not, you'll probably have trouble remembering his name."

"That's probably not gonna be the case, since his sister just married my brother, but good try, Dee-dee."

She laughed and put her head in her hand as if wondering where her brain had gone. She made a groaning noise. "This one may be a little trickier, but I promise, sweetheart, things will get better."

***

We went straight through from Nairobi, to London, to Charlotte, and then home to California. Of course, the Hunts got off in Charlotte, but the rest of us continued until we reached L.A. I sat by Nico on the flight from Charlotte to L.A., and that was good for my spirits. He and Logan had been friends since I could remember. He was like a brother to me, and it was good for me to joke around with him and not bring up Cub or Africa at all.

Tess was nervous when we made it home, but who wouldn't be after three long plane rides and a bunch of being jostled around. I let her out of her kennel the second we got outside at the airport.

Our driver had a SUV, so Tess and I got in the very back together. She stayed glued to me, panting the whole way home. Every once in a while she'd let out a whimper, which I hated.

Rachel and Logan were in the seat in front of us, and she turned around to pet Tess as we drove.

"Ohhh, noooo," Logan said, a minute later. He put his fist up to his nose and glanced back at us with an extremely offended expression. "Windows, please," he said, feeling around on the door handle while still looking at us. "Who farted?"

I narrowed my eyes at him. "She's had a rough day," I said. "She has a bellyache."

"Awww," my dad said from the front seat. "That's terrible!"

"You stink, dog," Logan said, looking back at her like she should be ashamed of herself. I knew Logan well enough to know he loved her and was just giving both of us a hard time.

I pointed at him. "She does not stink," I said. "She's probably been holding it in the whole trip."

"And she wants to let it out now that we're dutch-ovened in this car?"

I put my arm around her. "Don't listen to him," I said. "He doesn't know how to talk to a lady."

I watched as my brother glanced at Rachel to see what she had to say about that. She reached up and put her hand on his face, staring at him adoringly.

"Yes he does," she said.

She looked like a woman in love, and I felt a stab of jealousy. I groaned, but it was at myself for having jealous thoughts.

"What?" Logan asked. "She's supposed to take up for me."

"I wasn't groaning at that," I said.

"What were you groaning at, then?"

"Myself," I said.

"Why?"

"Because I farted," I said.

It was the stupidest excuse I could have possibly come up with, but for crying out loud, it worked. Logan shot me a disappointed look before he cracked his window, and turned around to leave us alone.

"We might need to stop and get these ladies some Pepto," he said.

I didn't bother defending myself or saying anything contradictory to his suggestion to stop at a drugstore. I knew no one was taking him seriously anyway.

"I have some Pepto at home," my mom shouted from the front. "Does someone need it now, or can it wait until we get home?"

"We're fine!" I yelled. I rubbed Tess behind her ears. "We're just ready to get home, huh girl?"

Rachel smiled and reached back again to pet her at my words. "I'm so glad she came home with us," she said. "I honestly can't believe Cub let this happen."

The sound of his name made my stomach tense and my chest tighten. I seriously stopped breathing for a second. "I can't believe it either," I said since I thought she might be waiting for a response. "I can't believe you're married," I added.

She gazed at my brother like he was the apple of her eye. "I can't believe it either," she said.

He turned to her and placed a quick kiss on her forehead. "I can," he said.