Caged in Darkness (6 page)

My beauty had been passed to me from my
mother. I was almost sixteen and never compared my physique to
hers, but I could see the similarities. Ordinarily, I would contain
my mass amount of hair in a butterfly claw or ponytail. It was rare
for my hair to be loose, and even rarer for me to wear clothing
that showed my body to its advantage. I wanted to be attractive,
but I wasn’t sure it was worth the cost if the coven began to
associate me with my parents.

Would Maye love me less if she saw my mother
looking back at her? Would Ash think less of me if I began dressing
like every other teenage girl? Would Willow be disappointed that I
had succumbed to the teenage stereotype my worth is judged by my
beauty? Would I think differently of myself?

I promised Izzy I would buy a dress to wear
to the bonfire and I promised Maye that I would buy a flattering
wardrobe. One of my many rules is to always keep a promise, which
means that regardless of the answers to my questions; I would buy
the clothes and would ignore the consequences until they presented
themselves. I gazed in the mirror a final time, and realized that I
would never be comfortable showing my midriff.

When the three of us left the store we
carried more bags than I would have thought possible. Willow fell
in love with an outfit that was slightly out of her price range.
She allowed me to pay for the difference as an early birthday
present, since I usually spent more on her anyhow. She reasoned
that this way I was actually spending less money on her. I bought
more clothes than I owned in my entire life, and Izzy bought the
right to tease us incessantly for the rest of our lives. Not
surprisingly, Izzy was the happiest.

Izzy paced ahead to unlock the car, while
Willow and I were weighted down with bags that hindered our pace.
My neck began to tingle, and a cold draft of air trailed down the
curve of my spine. Hair flew into my face with an invisible force
and I began to sway dizzily. I had the intense feeling that I was
being watched. Not just that someone was staring at me; it was as
though someone were invading my body. I shook the feeling away and
sped towards the car.

“S, are you okay?”

I came to the front passenger side door and
lowered my hair so that it covered my face. There was no one
watching that I could see.

“Savannah?” Willow pushed against my
shoulder, and I shook my hair behind my shoulders to face her. Her
brows were furrowed in concern.

“I’m fine. I just thought I saw someone I
recognized.” I attempted a fake smile and slipped into the car.

5: Hidden for a reason

Fifth Entry: Day Terrors

Shopping had been more enjoyable than
expected, but I wasn’t fooling myself that I would enjoy tomorrow.
Part of me resented Maye for putting me in a position that I would
need to go back to my parents’ house. However, she had given me so
much that I knew I would find the courage.

Savannah

Izzy dropped me home after a quick dinner
and I immediately took to my room. I could hear sounds coming from
Ash’s room, but his door was shut. Not wanting to disturb him, I
choose to closet myself in my bedroom.

My bedroom was fairly bland for a teenage
girl. I didn’t see the point to decorating a room that was
literally just a cube I slept in. The headboard of my twin size bed
rested against the far wall. A nightstand stood to the left side of
the bed with a small lamp and alarm clock on top. A dresser hid
behind an overly large bookcase overflowing with books. To the
right of my bed was a small walk in closet that was mostly empty.
On the opposite side of the room was a large bay window that opened
up onto a miniature terrace. Not surprisingly, the terrace was my
favorite spot and housed some patio furniture and a tiny space
heater for brisk nights

Maye and Ash thought that my room
represented my need to remain apart from the family and they
altered it slightly to make it seem more
lived in
. The
picture frames of my friends and family were placed on my dresser
by Ash and the flowery quilt with matching drapes had been Maye’s
addition. I came home one day from a hike through the woods to find
the
surprises
in my room. Each time I saw their personal
touches; I couldn’t help but think that they were symbols of love
and the only items I cherished.

My bedspread was twisted, as I moved to the
Carrie Underwood song on my MP3 player. I was lying on my belly,
attempting to write a biography on Marie Antoinette. It would be
more interesting if it was a biography about Carrie, but I had a
feeling my history teacher wouldn’t be too happy with that.

I looked up to find Maye peeking through the
doorway with a smile on her face; her wrinkles in stark contrast to
her emerald eyes. They were not to be outdone by the crease between
her eyebrows, which announced the impending serious
conversation.

“How was your day, darling?” She moved
forward to sit on the edge of my bed, while I put my pen down.

“Which part do you want to hear about first,
the part when I am fairly sure I flunked my calculus test, or when
Izzy brought us to a gothic clothing store to torture us, and we
ended up loving it?”

Maye let loose a startling laugh, “Please
tell me, you are not going to begin coating your eyes in black coal
and walking around looking like a corpse.” When I didn’t say
anything she raised her eyes in a disbelieving stare.

“Well, I did buy clothes, but they’re not
exactly the typical gothic look. I think you would approve and they
actually suit me.” I shrugged, as I pushed my homework aside. “Is
that really why you came up here?”

Maye chuckled, “You’re too smart for me; you
always were.” She sighed. “I am assuming you saw the text I sent
you earlier today?” I was silent, but nodded in ascent. “Good. I
found a buyer for your parents’ home, but I think that we need to
make a visit to the house before we sell it.”

“Why? It’s not like I want anything that
belonged to them!” My anger began bubbling up and Maye looked
around in surprise to see my furniture shaking in response. “That
house is supposed to be, what…a legacy from them? It’s a legacy I
want nothing to do with.” I ground my teeth, and sat up to look at
Maye. I tried to calm my anger and saw the furniture’s shaking
dwindle to miniature spasms.

“Child, I am not bringing you there for your
parents’ legacy. I am bringing you there for your ancestral legacy.
You shouldn’t turn your back on your ancestors just because your
parents took a dark path.” Maye fixated me with a stern look, and
shook her head in disappointment. “You of all people should know
not to judge someone by who they are related to. Your line is
filled with extraordinary witches who have passed down heirlooms
that belong to you.”

“Couldn’t you just go and bring me back
whatever you think I should have?” Silence greeted my question, and
I hesitantly began to explain, “I’m not sure I can face that place
again. I don’t know what it will do to me. Please don’t ask me to
do this.” My head bowed in personal shame at admitting my
weakness.

“Darling, I will be with you. Your parents
are gone; they can’t hurt you. All that is left to bring you pain
are the memories. If you face those, you’ll be free. You can’t
spend the rest of your life hiding from yourself; always afraid
that your memories will incapacitate you, and they will if you
continue to bury them.” She gripped my hand, while her eyes flowed
with a river of emotion.

“Why do I need to face the memories in that
house? They already plague me every night in my dreams? I can’t
escape them.”

Maye looked disappointed, “Sweetheart, you
know I love you, and part of loving someone means that sometimes
you need to save them from their self. You are not confronting the
memories in your dreams. The nightmares are your minds attempt at
repressing demons that refuse to leave.”

“Okay, okay. You win, but before I agree to
go, you have to promise me one thing. If I want to leave, we leave.
I’ll face my demons, but on my terms.”

“Agreed.” She smiled and kissed my forehead.
“If you were strong enough to become the woman you are, after being
subjected to such evil, you can overcome any obstacle.” She walked
slowly from the room and closed the door behind her.

Her faith in me was eternal. I never knew
unconditional love and support until I came here. Maye and Ash had
given me more than a home; they took my fractured soul and somehow
pieced it back together. The damage was still done, but now I knew
I could survive. I wouldn’t fail them.

My body became overwhelmingly lethargic. It
was as though the stress that had built up over the course of a
lifetime was suddenly slamming down on my shoulders, and forcing me
to kneel before the memories. My eyes drifted shut and I passed
into a dark sleep filled with nightmares. My mind swam with blurry
images of my parents committing horrendous acts, and switched to
visions of red eyes following me as I ran for safety. I
continuously turned and each time I was confronted with a new image
that left me whimpering beneath the sheets. I was becoming fitful,
when something cool grazed my cheek. A soothing sound quieted me
into a restful sleep and I was at peace.

I woke to the sound of my alarm clock
indicating that it was 8 o’clock. It felt much earlier. The sun
shone through the glass, which made my room look larger than it
actually was. I opened the bay windows to step onto the terrace.
The rush of damp morning air refreshed me, but I couldn’t tarry
long. I could see a storm coming in and did not want to be caught
on the terrace in a downpour.

The terrace connected to Ash’s room, and I
looked over to see his window open. He must have been out earlier.
We met here most mornings. We rarely spoke, but instead sat in warm
silence. It was my favorite part of the day. He never pressured me
to talk and understood that I needed those moments.

I followed my weekend morning routine;
showered, brushed my teeth, threw my hair into a messy bun, and
replaced my robe with a pair of jeans and a billowy t-shirt. Before
leaving my room, I opened the dirty clothes hamper and pulled my
money and student ID from the jeans I wore the day before.

I walked into the kitchen to be confronted
by the obnoxious odor of burnt cinnamon rolls, cooling on the stove
top. Ash bent over them and poked each with a fork, as if testing
to see if it would move.

I cleared my throat and he angled his head
away from the rolls to greet me with a slight smile.

“I think I killed them.” He nodded towards
the charred remains of his attempt at breakfast.

“I think that’s a safe assumption. I vote
don’t risk it.”

Ash folded the rolls into a paper towel and
threw it into the trash with a thud. I sat on the counter and
grabbed the glass of milk abandoned there.

Ash arched his right eyebrow, “Feeling lazy
this morning? I guess that means, I am setting out everything for
breakfast?” He sighed, and flashed a sarcastic smile. “Since you’re
drinking my glass of milk, I suppose I have to make do with a can
of orange juice, since that was our last clean glass?”

“Mmmm… good milk.” I smacked my lips. “You
could always do the dishes and have a glass of milk too.” He walked
over to where I sat, and placed his hands on either side of my
waist.

“Or I could take back what is rightfully
mine and you could do the dishes.” He made a grab for the milk and
I artfully pulled my hand holding the glass as far away from him as
I could.

“Fine. You get the darn milk.” His arms were
back in their original position and he stared directly into my
eyes, while I brought the milk back to my lips to take another
sip.

Guilt rushed over me. I smiled and
hesitantly offered the glass to his lips. He took a sip. His mouth
quirked into a half smile.

“You’re too easy. Keep the milk; I poured it
for you anyways.”

Laughing, I swatted at his back with the
kitchen towel that lay on the counter. He began combing the
cabinets for assorted boxes of cereal, bowls and sugar. I watched
as he placed them on the table in the connecting family dining
room, and added fruit, nuts, and bread to the mix.

“Hope you’re okay with dry cereal?” He
didn’t glance up to see my nod.

Pushing myself off the counter, and moving
around it I ran directly into Ash on his way back into the kitchen.
Our feet tangled and before I knew it, I was plunging towards the
antique tile. Ash grasped my waist with one hand and my hip with
the other. He held me in a position that mimicked the type of dip
couples generally did at the end of a dance.

“Klutz.” He kissed the tip of my nose, and
pulled me back to stand before him, but I was dizzy from the
movement and fell against him.

Ash’s eyes widened, as my body molded to
his. I quickly sucked in my breath. My face angled upwards and his
lowered. Our noses grazed one another’s in an Eskimo kiss. We stood
still, his breath gently brushing my lips, and I noticed that he
had specks of brown in his green eyes.

He straightened suddenly, and pulled my body
away from his. My confusion greeted his detached stance, and
noticing he moved closer. His hand, which had been holding my upper
arm, slid upwards to pull the part of my t-shirt that covered my
shoulder, to the side. He then leaned forward and placed a small
kiss on the exposed skin between my shoulder and neck.

His breath grazed my earlobe, “As I said,
klutz.” He laughed awkwardly and went back to sit at the table.

I didn’t know what was wrong with my body,
but I felt warm. My spine was tingling from when he had kissed my
nape, and my chest felt weighted down.

I vaguely wondered what Ash had meant to get
from the kitchen, as I moved to sit across from him at the wobbly
table. Before I could ask, Maye entered in her normal bubbly
mood.