By Any Other Name (18 page)

He couldn’t have that, because there was no way it could work. Taking that sort of leap when he wasn’t ready for any kind of proper adult relationship yet wasn’t a good idea. And who said the others would have him? Someone would get hurt, and none of them deserved that. Not Dru—he had been hurt so much, abandoned so many times. Not Thom, who kept them all together, was so patient and so kind. Skye didn’t want to think about himself, but he did know he didn’t deserve to be hurt anymore either. He needed another plan.

By now he had gathered that Kara liked him, and they were friends. In some miraculous way, he felt completely safe and comfortable around Kara. Could he smother the feelings he had for Dru and Thom enough to be able to figure out if he had any chance of being with Kara? All he knew for sure was that he needed someone in the way Dru and Thom had each other, and he couldn’t have either of them.

“Bad session or just a lot to think about?” Thom asked from a few feet away.

It shocked Skye how he didn’t even flinch anymore. In only a couple of months, he had come to trust Thom. “Lot to think about,” Skye said and peered up at Thom through his bangs.

“Can I sit?” Thom asked, always polite and careful—two things Dru wasn’t. He was still occasionally cautious with Skye, but he would have just plopped down next to him by now.

“Sure.”

Thom sat down an arm’s length away and looked at Skye for a moment. Then Thom sighed and looked away. “You do know you could take him from me if you wanted to?” Thom asked, and Skye’s jaw dropped.

“Wh-what?” He blinked.

“He loves you, you love him in your own way. You two have history. If you wanted to, you could have him. He’d wait for you to figure out what you are, even if it wasn’t something compatible with him, you know.” Thom’s tone was certain and quiet.

Skye realized Thom had resigned himself to the idea of losing Dru to Skye. “Thom… Thom, no,” he said, suddenly understanding the real reason he wasn’t even truly contemplating getting into the middle of the established relationship. “I would never hurt you or Dru.” He looked at Thom, reaching his hand to touch the older man’s cheek gently with his fingertips. To his utter surprise, for a moment, Thom leaned into the touch.

“But you could,” Thom said, looking at him with a vulnerability Skye had never before seen in his eyes.

“Maybe I could, I don’t know. I could be selfish and try to get some sort of ‘payment’ for the hell I’ve been through,” Skye said, nodding at Thom. “But I wouldn’t. I don’t care what I feel, it’s not important. I couldn’t live with myself if I did something to break you two up, Thom. You have to believe me. And trust me, living with myself is hard enough as it is.” He tried to snort even though it wasn’t funny.

“I just…. I’m insecure as it is. That day when I came home and you were cuddling and asleep on the couch… I saw it as it was: two men who were in love with each other, whether you knew it yourselves or not. And I was the one coming home, to
my home
, to see
my lover
in the arms of someone else.” Thom spoke to the flowerbed on the other side of the yard instead of Skye.

“It was two old friends reconnecting after sharing something they had never shared before. I’m sure Dru explained it to you,” Skye said. In fact, he remembered that Thom had seemed to be okay with the situation. Obviously that wasn’t quite true. He wondered how much more Thom was hiding within.

“Yeah, he did. And I thought I was okay with it.” Thom sighed, fidgeting a little, something else that Skye hadn’t seen him do before. It was unsettling.

“Thom… I give you my word, and frankly my word is all I have. I won’t come between the two of you.” Skye tried to convey the truth of his statement with his eyes.

Thom looked at him thoughtfully and finally nodded. “Okay… okay, man. Thanks,” Thom said and extended a hand. They shook hands.

“You know, it’s funny. I just realized Dru was supposed to pick me up. I just got to your car and got to this point before even realizing something was wrong. I must be getting better, whatever that is,” Skye said thoughtfully.

“Oh, and I totally forgot to tell you why, which means I’m not as cautious as I used to be.” Thom chuckled a bit, looking a bit more at ease. “Dru had to go to the bar he’s doing the web site for. Something about new photos for the site and whatnot. I had a short day, so here we are.” He gestured around them.

“Hmm, so have you had lunch yet?” Skye said to change the subject he didn’t want to think of anymore. He had his limits, after all.

Thom was opening his mouth when Skye’s cell went off in his pocket. Surprised, he dug it out.

“Hi, Kara,” he said into it and got to his feet. It was like some cosmic clockwork or something. “No, no, I haven’t had any lunch yet. Sure, that works. Okay. I’ll see you in ten. Bye.”

Thom was looking at him when he put the phone back in his pocket.

“Sorry, change of plans. I’m going to go to Kara’s for lunch. She has a day off, and I promised to help her bathe Justine when it’s sunny,” Skye explained.

“I had lunch anyways, so no problem. If you need a ride back, call me. I’ll be home,” Thom said.

The thoughtful look he gave Skye bothered him a bit, but he tried not to concentrate on it too much. Instead, he waved at Thom and began to walk to Kara’s house. It was a lovely day, perfect for giving Kara’s mutt of a dog a bath, as she needed to air dry outside. Kara said her house was too little to have a sheep-sized canine trying to dry herself off by rubbing herself on the furniture while running about.

Birds were singing and the sun was shining. There was a mild breeze that brought the scent of the forest around him to Skye, and he smiled. He liked this part of the country more than most others. It had nature and seasons and wild animals, even killer does. He was chuckling as he walked in the little side gate to Kara’s yard.

“Well hello there, Justine,” he cooed at the dog that came galloping from the backyard and almost tackled him. “You need a bath, then? Where’s your momma?”

The dog barked, wagged her tail, and dashed back to the side of the house. Smiling, Skye followed and saw Kara filling the tub she used to wash the dog.

“Hi,” he said and made Kara jump. The hose in her hand slipped and sprayed both of their shirts with cold water.

“Damn it, Skye!” she screamed and giggled and squealed as she went to shut off the water.

“Sorry, thought you heard her welcome me.” Skye shook his head as he tried to peel the button-down he had on off his chest and stomach. Damn, the water was cold. “What was that, water from a glacier or something?”

“I made it too hot first. When I carried the hot water out from inside, I had to even it out a bit. So sorry,” she said as she peeled off her own T-shirt, leaving her in a top and a bra, or so it seemed. Skye wasn’t one to look too carefully.

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” he said and unbuttoned the shirt. Luckily, he had an undershirt on. It was better than nothing even though it was basically just a see-through tank top.

They put their wet clothes to dry on the back of some deck chairs and began Operation: Wash the Mutt, as Kara called it. Luckily, Justine was a well-behaved dog, standing perfectly still as she was washed and rinsed, and then, just as they were about to coax her out of the tub, she shook herself.

More squealing and screaming ensued.

“You get to stay outside all evening, missy!” Kara told the dog as it jumped out of the tub and ran around the little garden like a maniac.

When Kara turned to look at Skye, she raised a hand to her mouth. “Oh shit… you’re all wet again.”

Skye knew what she meant. She had been informed about his issues when it came to his scars, and she was waiting for him to freak out.

“It’s okay, I suppose…. Will you be freaked out if I take this off?” he said, stretching the fabric away from his skin.

“Will you?” Kara asked.

“I don’t know. We can try? I should probably get used to… you know… in case I’m ever… in a relationship or anything.” He blushed, and his eyes darted away from her.

Kara giggled softly. “You will be, honey. Just a matter of when you’re ready. Take it off and we’ll see. Or how about this, we go inside and leave the she-beast out, and I’ll make lunch.”

“Deal.” Skye smiled, and they walked to the back door. He kicked his shoes off and waited for Kara to sneak in before following her, trying his best to keep the dog out.

“No, Justine. Stay,” he said, and the dog whined but then resumed her roaming around the garden.

Skye went to the kitchen to wait for Kara, who soon emerged from the front of the house, having changed into a dry top. She really was very pretty, and she had a mind to match her appearance.

“Ready?” Skye asked, and she nodded as she went to lean on the counter.

He took a deep breath and pulled off the top. There was a soft gasp and, when he slowly turned around to show her his back, a quiet sob.

“Oh God… Skye….” She exhaled.

Skye hoped she wasn’t disgusted. When he turned back, she was looking at him with tears in her eyes.

“I knew it was bad, but….” She shook her head, and tears rolled down her cheeks.

“Yeah, I know. Disgusting,” he mumbled and began to pull the top back on.

In an instant she was there, taking the top out of his hands. “No, Skye!”

Surprised, he watched as she placed the rumpled piece of clothing on the table and took his hands into her much smaller ones.

“Can I touch them?” she asked, looking at him hesitantly.

“I… nobody’s ever…,” he stuttered, and she nodded.

“Can I try? You can back away when you want.”

Skye nodded. She was one of the people he trusted, one of the few. She wouldn’t be Dru’s friend if she weren’t trustworthy and kind. Dru had zero tolerance for people who weren’t kind.

He braced himself as she let go of his hands and raised one of her own to his chest. The first time the skin of her palm made contact with his, he shivered and almost trembled. Her hand didn’t stop. It glided over his skin, and her fingertips gently stroked at the scars.

“Cigarette burns?” she asked quietly when she came to the line of them.

“I was nineteen. I was getting bigger than him, and he punished me.”

“Turn,” she said when she had covered every inch of the scarring on his front.

The back took more time, a lot more. When she was done, he was shaking and she was crying. Without thinking, he pulled her to his chest and hugged her close.

They stood there until her tears dried out and he calmed down as well.

“I think your shirt might have dried by now,” she said as he let her go and stepped back. “I’ll make that lunch,” Kara said and reached for some Kleenex to wipe her face.

Skye smiled at her and kissed the top of her head before going out to check on his shirt. Justine was lying on the grass in a sunny spot and wagged her tail lazily when he looked at her.

Pulling the dress shirt on, he decided to leave it open for now. He rolled the sleeves up and was walking back to the house barefoot when he heard Kara talking to someone.

Skye froze, and then the words stopped and steps came towards the back door. Dru stepped out and looked at him with his mouth open a bit. It was like his friend was taking in his appearance. Then the blond snapped his mouth shut and turned back.

“Found him!” he called to Kara and then walked into the house without saying a word to Skye.