BWWM Interracial Romance 6: Her Protector (5 page)

Sawyer stood and Adriana saw the flush wash across his pale skin. She tensed; the last thing she wanted was to be witness to a bar-brawl. But Sawyer held himself still.

The drunken man, however, did not. He took Sawyer’s movement to stand as a cue to get his punches in first. He swung and managed an unsteady, wobbling left hook that just missed clouting Sawyer across the ear. The drunk tried another punch and Sawyer grabbed his hand, moving quickly to push it behind the man’s back and pin it there. “Anyone called the police yet?” he called out over his shoulder. Someone from the direction of the bar called back that they had.

Adriana shook her head, trying to slow down her rapidly beating heart. She had never had any fear of Sawyer being capable of taking care of himself—but the situation had set her on edge and started the flow of adrenaline in her veins nonetheless.

Sawyer held onto the guy until the police arrived—some of his colleagues, who clapped him on the back for an exemplary job “containing the situation.” Adriana felt lost in a drift of jargon as the men exchanged words over the drunken man’s head, discussing charges and intensifications of charges that left her baffled. She could tell that Sawyer was excited—he was more animated even than he had been during their conversation earlier, looking positively giddy as he chatted his fellow officers up.

Adriana felt as if she might as well have disappeared completely; the lack of attention from the other officers was one thing—but for Sawyer to have forgotten that she was still right there was annoying indeed. She realized suddenly that as the officers began to start heading for the door with the drunk in tow, Sawyer was following them.

“Hey!” Adriana said, hurrying to get up from the booth. She scurried after him, feeling hurt and disappointed.

Sawyer stopped and turned, his eyes widening. “I’m sorry, Adri,” he said, holding up a hand to the other two officers to stall them. “I totally forgot you were still here. Come with me—I need to follow the collar, give my official statement, and then I can take you home.”

Adriana pressed her lips together, prepared to refuse; but she realized that he was her ride—and she didn’t want to have to call either Desiree or her mother and ask for them to pick her up. She nodded, giving him a long look to let him know she was less than pleased with the tangent their night had taken.

She tried to sulk in the car, but Sawyer seemed to have noticed her displeasure; he explained that since he was an officer—even if off-duty—he needed to file a particular report and the charges against the man who had attacked him would be different. Adriana didn’t want to give him any leeway in the issue, but she found herself softening as they made the trek to the police station, responding to the subtle charm that Sawyer wielded so well. He introduced her around to the handful of officers manning the station for the overnight shift that night, beaming proudly as he told them how unflustered she had been in the face of the man’s ranting and attack. “If I hadn’t grabbed him, I’m pretty sure she would have laid down the law just fine on her own,” Sawyer insisted.

He gave his statement quickly and put in the paperwork to file the heightened charges, and Adriana was surprised at how soon they were leaving the building, walking out to his car.

“Is it too soon to ask if you’d like to see my place?”

Adriana considered it. She was tired and her feet hurt, and in spite of the fact that she had mostly regained her attraction towards Sawyer after the mishap at the bar, she wasn’t entirely ready to absolve him of forgetting about her.

“I’m too tired, I think,” she said, smiling as gently as she could manage. “Besides, Mom’ll worry if I stay out too late, even if I am a grown woman.” It was a cheap excuse, but Sawyer didn’t press her, which earned him more points in Adriana’s book. He let her into the car and drove straight to her house, keeping up pleasant banter that she was just energetic enough to counter.

He parked the car at the end of the driveway and turned it off. “Let me walk you to your door,” he said, a kind of quiet hope and unstated remorse in his voice.

Adriana smiled and agreed. The drive had given her feet some time to recover from the pounding the heels had given them, and she was happy to take his offered hand when he opened the door to her side. Her heart was beating faster in her chest as they approached the front porch, and she wondered if he was going to make a move or if she would be forced to initiate the goodnight kiss.

The moment they both stepped onto the wooden steps, Adriana found out her worries were for nothing. Sawyer pulled her into his arms, wrapping them tightly around her waist, and before she could react he had pressed his lips to hers, sealing them against any protest or encouragement. After a heartbeat or two, Adriana found herself responding, her body heating up as she clung to him, draping her arms around his broad shoulders as the kiss deepened. Sawyer’s tongue slipped past her lips, tasting of beer and an underlying sweetness that Adriana couldn’t name, but knew she wanted more of. They almost tumbled onto the floor, staggering together until Sawyer found one of the columns that lined the porch and pressed her back against it, holding them both upright.

His hands came to life on her body, tracing over her curves through the fabric of her clothes, exploring and testing, feather-light in some places and devastatingly urgent in others. Adriana heard a muffled moan pass her lips, flowing into his mouth as he kissed her hungrily, stroking and caressing her seemingly everywhere. She began to explore his body as well, tentatively at first, sweeping her hands over the plane of his shoulders, down along his spine to the small of his back. Her body was getting hotter and hotter, and she felt everything buzzing and tingling, her nipples hardening against the fabric of her bra, the muscles along her hips tightening, her thighs tensing in anticipation. She was reeling, overwhelmed with sensations, her head spinning and her heart pounding as the kiss intensified more and more.

Abruptly, Adriana pulled back, feeling the hard ridge of Sawyer’s erection pressing against her, his hands cupping her breasts lightly in the darkness. She shook her head to clear it of the buzzing hum that filled it, panting and struggling to regain her composure. “I have to go,” she said, swallowing. She could still taste him on her lips, on her tongue. “Sawyer, I have to go…”

Sawyer staggered back from her, his touch lingering at her waist. “Okay,” he said, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly. “You’re right. You wanted to go home—you should go in.” He licked his lips and took another deep breath. “Can I see you again?”

Adriana hesitated only a moment, her mind still reeling, before she nodded. Sawyer gave her hand a quick squeeze, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips—not quite enough to re-ignite the passion that they had plunged into moments before, but enough to leave Adriana tingling from head to toe—before he turned and walked back to his car.

Adriana fumbled with her keys, tired and with her head still spinning. She unlocked the front door and stumbled into the house, smiling to herself as she closed the door behind her and locked it. Overall, she was satisfied with the date; as she walked slowly to her bedroom, she wondered if she had enough energy to clean off her makeup and take off her clothes. But it had been worth it, Sawyer’s kiss had awakened a deep-down, unsatisfied hunger. It would be soon enough, she told herself firmly, to slake that particular thirst. She shouldn’t be in any kind of hurry. She should let things go the way they were supposed to. She reached her bedroom and found herself still smiling in spite of Sawyer’s gaffe.

Sawyer pulled up to his brother’s house, smiling slightly to himself. It had been a few weeks since he’d had the opportunity to visit with his brother and nephews; he missed the sense of comfortable family life that he always got when he was around them. During those weeks, Sawyer and Adriana continued seeing each other on a daily basis; their bond growing stronger with each meeting.

Sawyer shut off the car and climbed out, walking quickly to the front door and knocking in the way that his brother would instantly recognize as his. In a few moments, Jacob had opened the door, giving Sawyer the full effect of two excitedly shrieking twin boys crowding around his brother’s legs, jostling to be the first to greet their uncle. The boys had turned three a few months before, and they were endowed with all of the mischievous tendencies that Sawyer could remember himself and his brother possessing in their own childhood.

“Unk’ Sawwer!” they both shouted over and over again, lurching on tiny legs to launch themselves at him. Sawyer dropped down and wrapped his arms around both Ian and Aaron, giving them a tight hug and lifting them up in his arms. They squirmed and squealed in ear-bending toddler voices, burrowing their faces into his shoulder and neck, and Sawyer couldn’t have possibly been more pleased.

Jacob, standing off to the side as Sawyer carried his nephews over to the couch, chuckled and shook his head, closing the front door and following the three into the living room. “I swear,” Jacob said, with an air of almost-pride, “they get better and better at making trouble every day.”

When Sawyer was safely settled on the couch, he loosened his grip and the two boys squirmed away, jumping up and down just outside of his reach and shouting in broken words about their new toys, their happiness at seeing him, anything and everything that they could manage to communicate. In the span of a few minutes, Sawyer learned that his nephews were lobbying for a puppy, that they had gotten a new swing set, that their parents were making chicken for dinner—a tumbling, almost unceasing rush of information that filled his ears and mind.

“Boys, don’t jump on your uncle,” Jacob’s wife Rebecca said, coming into the room. Her voice was patient but firm—and Sawyer smiled a greeting at her as he nodded to one nephew and then the other, agreeing with everything they said without paying attention to the content. Eventually, within ten or fifteen minutes of his arrival, the novelty of seeing their uncle wore off, and Ian and Aaron both ran away on toddling, unsteady legs, making their way to the play area off to the side of the living room.

“How’ve you been, bro?” Jacob took the opening to give his brother a hug before handing him a beer, sitting down in a chair nearby. Rebecca leaned against the arm, looking as lovely as ever. At one point in his life, Sawyer had envied his brother and the woman he’d married. Rebecca was beautiful, and he knew that she was sweet as well as kind—genuinely good-hearted and calm, rarely ruffled; a contrast to Jacob, who had a quick temper and a constant need for activity.

“I’ve been all right, I guess,” Sawyer said, taking a long pull of his beer. “I’ve started seeing someone recently.”

“Oh? Who are you seeing?” Jacob and Rebecca were both fairly insulated against the town gossip, living on the outskirts of the city, far in the suburbs, and spending almost all of their time to themselves, cozy in their family life.

“Adriana Ellis,” Sawyer said, trying to sound as matter-of-fact and light as possible. “Adriana Ellis, that’s interesting,” Jacob said. “You were totally into her in high school—I always wondered why you never just made a move and got it over with.” Sawyer shrugged.

“You remember what it was like back then. You never got your nerve up to ask Shannon Galston out.”

Jacob laughed and looked at his wife, smiling contentedly. “Just as well, the way things turned out—I couldn’t be happier.” Jacob gave his wife’s hand a squeeze.

“So how’s Adriana doing?” Sawyer shrugged again.

“She’s doing all right, for the most part. Still misses her father, of course—but that’s something only time can really do anything about. The restaurant isn’t doing so well, and she’s been stressed about that.” Sawyer knew that as stressed as Adriana confessed herself to be, the truth was probably much more intense.

“That’d be a huge blow,” Jacob agreed. “But you’re happy with her?”

Sawyer considered the question. A part of his mind—a big part of it—insisted that yes, he was very happy; deliriously happy. There was a chemistry between them, they enjoyed each other’s company, and there was nothing that could possibly be going wrong between them. But another part of his mind insisted that he only had to wait a little while longer for the other shoe to drop. Adriana was every bit as attractive—if not more attractive than—his ex-wife. She might betray him just the same way that Lisa had. It was always a possibility; ever since he had been cheated on, he had been aware of the fact that if a woman he loved decided to run around on him there was ultimately nothing he could do about it.

“I’m happy with her,” Sawyer said slowly.

“But?” Jacob raised an eyebrow and Sawyer smiled at his perceptive brother, taking another long pull on his bottle of beer.

“I just don’t know how much I can trust anyone anymore,” he admitted. “I should trust her—more than almost anyone in the world, I mean, I’ve known her a long time. But I keep thinking that as soon as I let myself really love her, as soon as I let my guard down, she’ll pull something to ruin it.”

“Hey, you never know, bro,” Jacob said, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips. “Maybe this time you’ll be the one to ruin it.”

Sawyer rolled his eyes; it wasn’t that funny of a joke from where he stood. “I’ve been thinking I might end it,” Sawyer said quietly.

“What? Why? I thought you said you were happy with her.” Rebecca was even more confused than Sawyer was.

“I’m happy with her,” Sawyer repeated. “But I’m miserable with myself. I don’t know if it’s fair to ask Adriana to deal with a guy who’s always going to wonder if she wants something better, more exciting…different.”

“First of all—she knows about your history, right?”

Sawyer nodded and shrugged. Adriana knew about the reason for his divorce; she had expressed her regret at what had happened.

“So she went into it knowing you were damaged goods.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t really excuse me not trusting her.”

“Well no, of course it doesn’t,” Jacob said with a grin. “But she’s not some innocent who has no idea how damaged you are. Anyway, the second issue is that you apparently think that just because Lisa was a worm, everyone’s going to treat you like a worm.”

“I know they won’t,” Sawyer said feebly. “I mean… I mean, it’s difficult to even imagine myself settling down and having kids and a wife.” Sawyer looked from his brother and Rebecca, over to where the twins were seated at some kind of toddler play station, murmuring between themselves as they became more and more absorbed in a game. The sight of the two boys, so close, poised like tightened springs to jump off and create mischief at the first possible opportunity, filled Sawyer with a lonely, aching kind of hunger. He wanted this—not the specific children and wife, but the quiet joys that he could see written all over his brother’s face, the comfort of a home and the love of a child that he was raising.

“What’s so hard about it?” Jacob asked matter-of-factly.

Sawyer shrugged. “Your kids are already three. You’ve already got your family started. It just seems like I might be running out of time for that kind of life.”

Jacob shook his head. “Bro, it’s not the sort of thing you run out of time to do. There are 60-year-old guys starting families for the first time.” Jacob wagged a finger at him. “You’re just scared, deep down. You don’t want to trust that you’ll find someone better than Lisa.”

Sawyer took another long drink of his beer and sighed. “I’m finally rid of Kent as a partner,” Sawyer said, running his fingers through his hair. “I still have to deal with him as a member of the same department, but I won’t have to go with him on calls.” Jacob nodded slowly.

“That’s a step in the right direction at least,” he said. “It’d be easier to handle if you don’t have to spend forty or more hours a week right next to him.”

“He already moved desks,” Sawyer said, remembering the moment with relief. It had been as if a literal weight had been taken off of him. He glanced at Jacob’s twin sons, hard at work, talking in the kind of half-sentences that seemed to be part and parcel of twin interactions. The boys had Rebecca’s olive complexion but Sawyer could easily see his brother’s genes in their features—the nose, the set of the jaw, the lips. “It just sucks so much—I mean, the guy was my best friend.” Sawyer felt the bile rising in his stomach at the memory of the betrayal. He had noticed that things weren’t going well with Lisa months before he had discovered the cause; he had even confided in Kent about the tension between himself and his wife, asking for input, for impartial advice.

When Kent had finally come clean—after Sawyer had found messages of a sexual nature between Kent and Lisa on her computer—Sawyer’s reaction had been immediate. All of his ability to contain his temper had evaporated in an instant, and he had cocked his fist and slammed it into the side of Kent’s face before he had even consciously thought of doing it. The shockwave of the blow traveling through his hand and up his arm had been just enough to snap him out of his instinctual rage; he’d turned on his heel and walked out of the locker room before he could say anything and before Kent could react to what had happened.

He had filed for a change of partner immediately, punishing himself for the outburst by using his still-aching hand to fill out the paperwork. He cited that there was a conflict between the two of them without going into the gritty details—details that he would later have to explain to the review board responsible for placing partners together. The same day, during his lunch break, he had started making calls to divorce lawyers.

Lisa hadn’t fought the divorce; she was ashamed of what she had done, of who she had done it with, but her shame didn’t seem to matter at all when Sawyer thought about the situation. There had been exactly one conversation, when he had arrived at home at the end of his shift. Lisa had tried to greet him normally—she had put on makeup, but Sawyer could see the fear in her eyes and knew that Kent had informed her about the altercation. “I’m not going to hit you, I’m not even going to yell at you,” Sawyer had said, sitting down, feeling tired beyond belief. Lisa had sat down a few feet away.

“I didn’t mean to, Sawyer,” she had said. Sawyer shook his head.

“You meant to or you wouldn’t have done it,” he said simply. “Whatever reasons you’ve given yourself for what you did don’t matter a hill of beans to me. I don’t care. I can’t care. You did it, and I can’t live with you anymore.” He had tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling, unable to even look at the woman he had loved so deeply. There was a stain on the ceiling roughly the shape of India, an odd splotch that Sawyer couldn’t take his eyes off of. “I’m getting a divorce. You’d better find a lawyer of your own.”

“We can work it out, baby,” Lisa had said. Sawyer had taken a deep breath, shook his head again.

“No. I don’t want to work it out with you. I don’t even want to look at you. The trust is broken and it’s never going to come back.” Lisa had quietly moved out of their house, moving back in with her parents in disgrace, and Sawyer had debated moving out as well; his lawyer told him that he could probably keep the house easily, but there were so many memories associated with it that he didn’t know if he wanted to keep it.

At the end, he had opted to stay in the house. His name was on the lease; he was able to get the house in the divorce, he might as well cling to whatever victories he could. Selling the house wouldn’t solve his problems.

“You need to get your head right, bro,” Jacob said, taking Sawyer’s empty bottle and standing to go into the kitchen to grab another beer. “Either figure out how to live with the fact that you’ve been hurt, or put things on hold with Adriana until you can, and hope that she’s still willing to be with you when you clean everything up in there.” Sawyer looked at the simple comfort of the house, the simple love and affection between his brother, his sister-in-law, and his nephews, and nodded. If he wanted things to work with Adriana, he would have to get his head screwed on straight once more.