Burning Wild (32 page)

Emma sighed and looked down at her hands. She still held the hair clip. She hadn’t put her hair up. Why? She held the clip up. “Look at this. I did what you told me to do and I don’t even know why.” But she did, and it scared her. She wanted to please him. She wanted to be the one to take the pain from his eyes.

“What’s wrong with doing something that matters to me when it doesn’t matter so much to you?” He took the clip from her hand and tossed it onto the floor.

“The point is, I seem to lose myself in you and I can’t afford to do that. I’ll fall in love with you. I already am a little bit.”
A lot.

His gaze sharpened, almost as if he could read her mind.

“And you’ll break my heart. You won’t want to, you won’t set out to do it, but you will.”

He pushed down the satisfaction that welled up inside him. Emma was being brutally honest, putting herself on the line for him. If anyone was really capable of love, it was Emma. “I would never break your heart. I told you, you’re safe with me.”

“Not intentionally, but womanizers don’t change, Jake,” she said quietly, with regret. “You need sex all the time. What happens when you’re in your downtown office and I’m on the ranch, or worse, when you’re on a business trip?”

His smile was faint, no amusement, only a show of white teeth. “If I’m in my downtown office and I need you that bad, I’ll send a limo for you. If I’m out of town and you can’t go, I think I have enough restraint to last a few days. I don’t indulge myself over every little thing I want. It’s called discipline, and I have more than most people. If I give you my word, Emma, you can take it to the bank and you know that.”

“What happens if I get pregnant and have to go on bed rest again and they tell us we can’t have sex? That could happen, you know.”

“Then I’ll keep that talented little mouth of yours very busy, won’t I?” he retaliated.

Her blush spread over her entire body. His gaze dropped to her mouth and his thumb slid over her bottom lip, to the corner, stroking caresses that sent little fingers of arousal tingling over her breasts and straight to her groin.

Emma drew in a ragged breath. “What are we talking about here, Jake? Where do you see this heading?”

“You. Me. Marriage. I want it all. We can negotiate whatever you want right here and now, and I’m not talking money. I know you don’t care one way or the other but there will be no prenuptial because I’ll warn you straight up—and hear me when I say this, because this is nonnegotiable. I do not believe in divorce. If you marry me, you’ll stay with me. When you don’t like something you’ll trust me enough to come to me and tell me so I can fix it.”

“Marriage?” The idea of being Jake’s wife was terrifying. He was too intense for anyone to handle on a daily basis, yet, of course, it was exactly what she’d dreamt of, the fantasy of it, never the reality. “I couldn’t keep up with you and you know it.”

“I know you’re afraid.”

“Your parents, the people in your circle, would never accept me . . .”

“Fuck them. They aren’t part of my life. You are. The kids are. Don’t let fear stop you from doing something you know is right. I’ll make it work, Emma. You know me. I’ll help you. Tell me what you want.”

“I don’t know.” She swept her hand through her hair in agitation. “I want you to care about me. I don’t want to be just anyone to you.”

Suddenly the Jeep was too confined. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think clearly. He was doing it again, keeping her off balance, overpowering her, not letting her work things out. She pulled off the seat belt and banged open the door, leaping out of the vehicle and walking out into the night. The cool air helped with the burning heat of her skin.

Jake slid out, stretching his muscles, his stomach settling a little. She was scared, more scared than he’d ever seen her, but she wasn’t running from him. He believed he could make her happy and he was relentless when he wanted something. He wanted Emma more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life. He knew how to negotiate and come out on top; he’d been doing it all of his life. And he knew he was about to close the deal.

“Emma, you know damn well I care about you. You aren’t blind. I’ve never in my life needed or wanted to mark a woman the way I marked you. I had a primitive urge to get my scent all over you so every man who came near you would know you were taken—that you belong to me. I’m thirty-five years old. I’ve never wanted to marry until now. I may not be gentle or romantic, but you know you’ll have my unswerving loyalty and my absolute protection and care. And along with that, I’ll make certain you’re satisfied every day of your life.”

He hadn’t said love, but then, Jake wouldn’t. He wouldn’t have believed it of himself and he would have been lying if he’d used the word. He never even said he loved Kyle or Andraya, yet she’d seen evidence of it. Was she strong enough to take him the way he was? She didn’t know. If she didn’t love him, it wouldn’t have been as hard. But she did. She couldn’t look at him without wanting him happy. She knew herself, knew she’d give too much. She was an all-or-nothing woman. She loved Jake and she’d give him everything she was.

“Define loyalty. Does that mean you’ll go out, have sex with other women and then always come back to me? Or does that mean a completely monogamous relationship?”

“I’d use my bare hands to break the neck of any man who dared to touch you, Emma. I don’t expect less of myself than I do of you. When I say loyalty, that’s complete fidelity. I expect it of you, and if I cheated, I wouldn’t be worth keeping, nor would you.”

She took a deep breath. She had the feeling he was more than capable of breaking someone’s neck, and that he would if provoked. There was a lot of violence in Jake. She suspected his past was one of abuse, but he’d never told her. She saw his scars. He referred to his parents as his enemies and he was never trusting, not at all.

“Let’s dispense with some of your other concerns, honey. That might help. What are you thinking about right now? There’s fear in your eyes.”

Her gaze shifted from his and then jumped back to his face as if expecting him to be upset with her. “When you loom over me I feel threatened, physically threatened. You can be very frightening, Jake. Yell all you want, but no hitting. Ever.”

He started to agree, then stopped. “We need to talk about this. If I ever hit you or the children in anger, Emma, I want you to take the children and go straight to Drake and Joshua. Tell them what happened and have them help you leave. And don’t come back. Don’t ever take me back. I want you to promise me you’ll do that. Drake and Joshua will have orders to help you. They’ll take you somewhere safe where I can’t get to you.”

She looked up at him, her gaze searching his. She nodded.

“But . . .” His smile turned sensual and her gaze turned wary. “There are things we can do in the bedroom that aren’t done in anger. Things that can be very erotic.”

She looked outraged and a little curious. “Hitting is not erotic under any circumstances.”

“No, but a spanking can be. And there are other things. I don’t want us to rule them out until you try them with me. If you don’t like something, we won’t do it again, but there will be no lying to me or to you. If you’re finding pleasure but you’re scared, we’ll be continuing. When you tell me no, you make damn sure that hot little body of yours isn’t wet.”

“That’s not fair, Jake,” Emma protested. “You always make me wet, even when you terrify me.”
Like now
. The words were unspoken but she blushed a dark crimson, afraid she might have said them aloud.

He framed her face with his hands and kissed her again, teasing at her reluctant mouth with tugging teeth and a dancing tongue until she opened for him. He was a phenomenal kisser, and she lost herself in him, giving herself up completely. He lifted his face first and traced her cheekbones with the pads of his fingertips.

“I like you wet for me. Don’t ever be embarrassed because you want me.” His hand dropped casually to the thick erection bulging in the front of his jeans. “I have the hard-on from hell and I’m not embarrassed. Isn’t it better that you’re a little in lust with the man you’re going to marry?”

“It doesn’t seem normal,” she confessed in a small voice. “We just . . .” Her voice trailed off and she made a face. “I’m still upset with you.”

“There’s no reason to be upset, Emma. You misread what I was doing. I can understand, after our earlier conversation, why you thought that, but never think it again. You’re mine, and I would never want you for my own if I didn’t respect you.”

He pulled a small box from his jeans. “This is for you. I had it made for you and if you put it on your finger, Emma, there’s no taking it back.”

He opened the box. The ring was unusual; brilliant golden diamonds shone up at her. They looked like a cat’s eye, the way they were shaped.

She sucked in her breath and put both hands behind her back to keep from reaching for it. “Jake.” She shook her head. “If I do this, you know you’ll be worse. You control everything, you can’t help yourself, and that’s a serious red flag for me.”

“I know I’m different, Emma,” Jake said, his voice low. It held that same hypnotic note she found so sexy. He leaned toward her, cupping her chin in his hand and bringing her face around to look at him. “Is it so bad having me be in control?”

The question was so soft, so low, his voice moving through her body like a thick, molten lava. She felt her body’s reaction and it frightened her—frightened her that she wanted to say no when she knew better.

“Have these last two years really been so difficult? Anytime you’ve come to me with a problem or a complaint, haven’t I acted on it immediately?”

“What about the gate, Jake? I couldn’t leave tonight. What about that?” She hated that she had a pleading note in her voice. She knew him. She knew he couldn’t be any different, that control was a huge issue to him. Even if he promised her, how could he be anything but what he was?

“I should have explained to you, but I didn’t want to scare you, Emma. That was wrong of me, but you’ve never wanted to leave the ranch before. When you did, you always told me well in advance and I could arrange for protection both for you and the children. I have enemies and they would hurt you and they’d take our children.”

“What enemies? Are you certain you’re just not being paranoid? You don’t trust anyone at all, Jake.”

“With good reason. No, I’m not paranoid. I wish I were. I’ve had to step up security over these last few months because evidence has come to my attention that someone plans to strike at me through you and the children.”

She frowned. “Why would they try to use me to get to you?”

He sighed, his thumb rubbing across her lips as if to erase her frown. “You’re the only person who would have to ask me that question. Aside from the children, Emma, who else do I care about? Everyone sees it but you.”

“Jake.” She looked at the ring. He just held it out there as if it were his heart. He looked so lonely. But . . .

“I need you far more than someone like Greg Patterson or even Andrew needs you. Look at me, Emma. I
need
you. I’ve never said that to another human being. It won’t be easy. I have a high sex drive and I won’t leave you alone. I’m protective and dominating—okay, controlling—and I don’t have social skills. I can’t promise you I won’t be hell to live with, but I can promise you I’ll do everything in my power to make you happy.”

He took the ring out off the velvet and slipped the box back into his pocket. “Marry me. Spend your life with me. I’ll spend my life making you happy.”

He was putting the ring on her finger. She could feel the weight of it. He had been the one to take off Andrew’s ring when she lay in bed and her hands were swelling and she was afraid they’d have to cut it off. He’d been careful and he’d wrapped it up and put it in her top drawer. He was just as gentle when he slipped his ring on her finger.

“Jake, are you certain this is what you want?” She reached up to his face and pressed her fingers against his warm skin. It was cold outside, but, as always, he was hot. It was as if his core temperature was so much hotter than anybody else’s.

Jake’s wrapped his hand in the red silk of her hair and pulled her head back to bring his mouth down on hers. Savage triumph whipped through him. He’d done it. He’d finally done it. Emma was his. He pressed his tongue into her mouth, sliding over hers, dragging the sweet taste of her into his own mouth. His hands found her top and dragged it from her body, uncaring that the material ripped. He unsnapped her bra and tossed it away. “Your jeans. Get rid of your jeans.” He was already dispensing with his clothes.

Emma looked around carefully. “We’re out in the open, Jake. There aren’t any trees. What if one of the men . . .”

He kicked his clothes aside and dragged hers from her hips. “I’d know if someone came near.” His voice went harsh and guttural as he lifted her up by her arms and deposited her on the hood of the Jeep, pushing her legs over his shoulder and dipping his head to the hot, wet core of her. She tasted even sweeter than he remembered. She was addictive.

She moaned and pushed against his mouth, seeking more, her body melting for him. Even with her as responsive as she was, he felt the small shiver that ran through her body and noticed the gooseflesh on her skin.

“I’d spend all night here with you, honey, but you’re cold and I need to get you home. I’ve never taken you in a bed before.”

He lifted her again, positioning her over his thickened shaft. “Hold on, honey,” he managed to growl and he dropped her hard right down on him. The large mushroom head drove through her tight folds as she encased him, and he threw back his head as pleasure streaked through him like fire. She was so tight. So hot. He felt as if she were strangling him, gripping with a silken fist whose center was a fiery inferno. He felt like he’d come home.

“Ride me. Arch your back and move, Emma. Yes, just like that. Slow and easy until you get the rhythm. You were made for this. We fit. I swear, baby, I feel like we’ve done this a million times and yet every time is the first.”

Emma moved over Jake, choosing a leisurely rhythm, but when he caught her hips to urge her faster and harder, she shook her head and framed his face with her hands.