Burned Deep (43 page)

I settled on the sofa, my pulse still rapid. My heart aching like nothing I'd ever known before.

Deep in my soul, all I wanted was to be wrapped in Dane's arms, engulfed in his heat and essence. I wanted all the beautiful and sensual sensations he evoked to chase away the terror and the shattered feelings.

Burrowing under the throw, I tried to clear my mind and calm my churning insides. I was highly alert to all the sounds around me, fearful even though I believed the threat had faded for now, with Vale in a hospital and Amano practically at my doorstep.

It wasn't so much the shadows and the unknown that taunted me. I was devastated, missing Dane already and needing him so much. Especially now, after everything I'd been through.

But I refused to turn on my phone. I couldn't renege on my convictions.

We were done. Through. End of the tragic love story.

That's when the really awful, body-wracking sobs came.

And didn't subside …

*   *   *

I didn't check the next day to see if Amano kept his watch on me. Or the next.

I didn't have to, because he rapped on my door a couple of times to let me know he had Dane's physician with him. No doubt someone from the
private
facility where Vale recovered. Someone who stuck to patient confidentiality and didn't call the police over this sort of thing.

For a price.

Both times, I went to the door and told them to go away.

For the most part, I remained curled on the sofa, huddled under the blanket. Sometimes crying. Sometimes staring at the drapes covering the patio doors. Occasionally, my mind wandered and I imagined someone jimmying the lock, throwing one of the doors open, and shooting me.

Trying to convince myself I was being melodramatic was futile. An hour or so would pass and I'd stare at the curtains again, pondering what might lie in wait for me beyond them.

Was it really such an easy conclusion to this entire clusterfuck of a situation that Vale had lost the game and that was that? Had Dane really won the war … or just one horrifying battle?

I didn't want to think about him, but that was near impossible. I couldn't get him off my mind and wanted desperately for him to be here with me, holding me. That's when the tears came again.

My combat tactic was to head to the bathroom or rummage through the fridge. But food didn't appeal to me. I forced myself to drink some water at first but eventually couldn't see the point in it.

I'd never understood hopelessness before. When my father had been wrecked by my mother, I'd poked and prodded him.

Hey, Dad, let's golf.

Hey, Dad, we need groceries.

Hey, Dad, watch a movie with me.

He'd gone through the motions to appease his daughter. I didn't bother. I had no one to appease.

Or so I thought.…

The pounding on my door on day three roused me from the sleep I drifted in and out of when I cried so hard, it exhausted me.

At first, I thought the horrendous hammering was thunder.

Then I heard the very distinct, “Ari, open up! It's Kyle.”

I started. Holy shit, I hadn't thought about Kyle. He had to wonder where I'd been the past couple of days, when I hadn't shown up for work.

Crawling out of my cave, I didn't think about the way I looked. That was a big mistake. I moved the chair away and opened the door. The first words tumbling from his lips were, “Jesus Christ!”

I winced. “Sorry.” My throat was raw and I went to the sink for a glass of water.

“What. The.
Hell?
” he demanded as he entered the townhome and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Lock it,” I said between sips. “Put the chair back under the knob.”

“Fucking A, Ari,” he said as he did as I'd asked. Then he gently clasped my biceps and demanded in a low tone, “What the hell happened to you?”

His gaze roved my face. I saw the shock and pain in his blue eyes. Mixed with instant anguish.

Shifting away from him, I set the tumbler on the counter and said, “I walked into a door.”

“You fucking—Goddamn it!” His outburst filled the room. “You can't just say shit like that! Tell me,
seriously
.”

I turned back to him. “Why are you here?”

“What?” His brow furrowed. “You haven't been at the hotel in two days and Dane looks like … Christ.” He shook his head. “I don't know what the hell Dane looks like, but the best way to describe it is the walking dead. He's so … not there. Even when he is.” Another shake of his head. Then he said, “I had to get up in his grill, you know? Demand to know where you've been and why he looks all zombie-ish … I mean, still intimidating as hell. What is it with that guy?” he added under his breath.

I knew that expression he was talking about—the one where Dane was clearly someplace dark and scary in his mind. “So, what … he
told
you?”

“Sort of.” Kyle whirled around and slammed his hand on the counter. “Fuck, Ari. Your face.”

“Stop looking at it if it bothers you,” I hissed. “I didn't invite you here.”

His head whipped in my direction, his jaw tight, his eyes flashing with anger and concern. “Hell, yes, it bothers me. One side is black and purple. You've got a bandage peeling off a cut that might actually need stitches. Your skin's sallow and you have the most vacant expression of anyone other than your goddamn zombie boyfriend.”

“He's not my boyfriend.” I returned to the sofa. “Not anymore.”

“Ah, fuck.”

Kyle sank into the chair adjacent to me. “What's going on, Ari? I mean, I got all Rambo on the dude and he let me. In what world would that happen?”

Ignoring that sentiment, I asked, “What'd he say?”

“That he'd appreciate it if I checked on you. That I was probably the only one you'd see, the only one you'd talk to.”

I gave a small, humorless laugh. “He knows me too well.”

Between clenched teeth, Kyle said, “It was these people fucking with the Lux that came after you, right? Or…” He glanced away, then flicked a look back at me that was pure challenge wrapped in agony. “Or did he do this to you?”

My eyes bulged.

Oh. My. God.

I pressed a hand to my mouth as my heart wrenched. Acutely painful as the days before. Would this torture
never
end?

Dragging my hand away, I insisted, “You can't think that. Don't ever,
ever
think it. He wouldn't do this to me. He
never
would, Kyle.” My tone became more assertive. “All he wanted to do was protect me—and the Lux. All he cared about was making sure no one hurt me.
No one.
He's been twenty-four-seven tormented with anything bad happening to me for reasons beyond his control. My God!” I jumped to my feet, even though that made the throbbing in my face and head return. “He's not the bad guy!”

I stared at Kyle as something shifted inside me. Tears burned my eyes. I sank onto the sofa. “Oh, my God.”

“What?” he demanded.

The drops rolled down my cheeks once again. My insides were raw, as if I'd been sliced open by my
own
machinations.

“He didn't do this to me,” I whispered. “He did everything he could to keep me safe. Same with Amano—for Dane's sake as much as mine. It's just that someone was a step ahead of him, from almost the beginning. It's not his fault. None of this is
his
fault.”

The tears came faster.

“Hey, Ari.” Kyle moved to the sofa, sitting next to me and draping an arm around my shoulders. “Come on. This is crazy.”

“Yes. It is. And so beyond fucked up. But Kyle, it's not Dane's fault,” I insisted. “I thought he was the villain when I watched him beat the hell out of the guy who'd kidnapped me and almost ra—” I shook that thought out of my head, not wanting to share it. “I couldn't reconcile any of it in my mind, because I was so terrified. But everything Dane has done,
did
that night, all comes down to saving what's his. The hotel.
Me.
”

Kyle grunted.

I gripped his hands and said, “I'm sorry. I know you came here as a friend. But I also know you harbor thoughts we might someday be more. You have to understand,
accept
, that I loved—” I shook my head. This was all so insane. But I had to be honest. With Kyle and with myself. “I
love
Dane. I will always love him, no matter what. It's unconditional. It's … forever.”

Between clenched teeth, Kyle said, “He is much too dangerous for someone like you, Ari. Why can't you see that?”

“That part doesn't matter. I told you, I'm not with him anymore. But that doesn't mean everything I feel for him will go away. It won't.”

Kyle lifted his hand, but it lingered in the air, as though he wanted to cup the side of my face in a consoling way. But it was the wrong side, the damaged side. His hand dropped.

“This is all such bullshit, Ari.”

I nodded. “These people defy comprehension. You have to believe me, though, when I tell you that Dane did absolutely nothing to hurt me. He never would. It's the situation, Kyle. Not him.” I gave this more thought, then added, “I pushed him down this path. Inadvertently, I guess. The way he feels about me—that makes him willing to do whatever he has to in order to keep me safe. And it makes him want to pummel anyone who touches me.”

A shiver ran down my spine, but I didn't mention the horrifying state Vale had been in or my fear when he'd gone still that Dane had killed him. Or that he was privately being tended to, likely laid up much longer than me, what with all the breaking of bones I'd heard. Some of them might have been Dane's. I didn't ask if he wore a cast on one or both of his hands.

I certainly didn't feel right as rain, but speaking about all of this to Kyle and having him here with me helped to ease some of the tension in my chest that had led to my seemingly endless sobfest.

I let him make dinner—canned soup—and ate a little to satisfy him, since I still didn't have much of an appetite. I didn't want him any more frazzled with worry over me. His consternation was pretty intense as it was.

I drank about a gallon of water, maybe to replace all of the tears. Sadly, there were still so many of them unshed. I held them in check for Kyle's sake.

We returned to the sofa, me curled in the corner with my blanket again.

“How did all of this happen, Ari?” he asked in a quiet voice. “To your face, I mean.”

I wasn't inclined to relive that evening, but he deserved a bit by way of explanation.

I said, “You remember the valet, Wayne?”

“Sure. New guy.”

“No, not new. He said he'd been around awhile. Working in all the functional areas that invariably fell victim to sabotage. He was chatting me up when I got into what I presumed was Dane's car. He distracted me so that I didn't look at the driver's seat.”

“What do you mean by
presumed
?”

With a shake of my head, I told him, “It wasn't Dane's car. Looked exactly like it from the outside, with one minor detail. Well … not so minor. I think it's what saved my life.”

His gaze narrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“Wayne kept my attention and yours, too. So that neither of us noticed that the F5 didn't have an Arizona license plate. It had a Nevada one. The car was from Las Vegas.”

“Shit. I never even looked.”

“I didn't, either. But my guess is that even though we blew through the security gates because the guard recognized Dane's car, and never stops the boss, he spotted the plate. Called Amano, who happened to be with Dane.”

“Goddamn.” He exhaled heavily. “Is this Mafia shit we're talking about?”

“No. Not exactly.” I debated telling him everything but then decided against it. “The less you know, the better. Suffice it to say, Dane has tried very hard to make sure his investors are on the up-and-up, and to keep out the greedy bastards who don't subscribe to that ethic.”

“And those greedy bastards are the ones who came after you?”

“Because Dane cut them out of the Lux.”

“Wow. You really know how to step into the quicksand with both feet.”

“Yeah.”

“You had a visitor today, too,” he added.

My thoughts instantly shifted to my mother. Making my spirits plummet further. I didn't think that was possible. “Who?” I tentatively asked. Not really sure I wanted to know.

“Another skyscraper. A chick this time. Mikaela something. Legs as long as the pillars in the lobby.”

I groaned. “Please don't remind me.” She was outrageously gorgeous. And clearly quite clever, knowing how to keep Dane at her beck and call while she played damsel in distress.

Would she be delighted I was no longer in the picture?

A no-brainer, Ari.

“Do you know what she wanted?”

“Dropped off a gift bag for you while I was in Dane's reception area, delivering mock-ups.”

That seemed odd. “How'd she get onto the fourth floor?”

“Apparently, she has her own security badge.”

“What?” I stared, incredulous. Dane was a massive stickler for security and yet he'd issued Heidi Klum an electronic card? That made no sense at all. Nor did her bringing me a gift.

Except for that wise old adage—
keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

Was that what Mikaela was up to?

Well, fool on her. She didn't have anything to worry about where I was concerned. Dane and I were over. That gave her the wide berth she needed, if her intention was to pursue him or to otherwise be the only woman in his life.

I tried not to seethe over that prospect. I had no right. I had no claim on him anymore.