Burn (Brothers of Ink and Steel #2) (26 page)

And maybe I’m an idiot who just daydreams too much.

By the time I get back to North House, it’s completely quiet. Cade is sitting at his desk with his door open.

“Glad you’re back,” he says to me.

“Where are the guys?”

“Half are in the attic and the other half are in the garage. By the time evening rolls around, I’m sure they’ll have both places clean and organized,” he tells me then looks back to his computer screen.

“Too bad about the water park,” I lament, thinking of Cade’s promise that if we’d earned enough points today he’d take us tomorrow.

“I know. Maybe next week,” he says, sounding as disappointed as I feel. “At least you’ll get the chance to finish the three books you’re reading.”

I laugh, pleasantly surprised he knows that.

I start to walk away when he says, “Quinn, make sure you go through the kitchen, the boys have something for you in there.”

Can’t think what that would be. I wonder if it’s some code for the fact that I get to do the laundry or something.

I push through the swinging door into the kitchen. The room is gleamingly clean and spotless, and there on the table is a huge bouquet of wildflowers with a note.

Sorry, Quinn. We’re going to try to stop acting like assholes. Even if it’s just for you.

They all signed it.

Chapter Thirteen

2015

Liam

Breakfast is full of chaos and insanity. I feel like I’m on the outside looking in—watching Quinn, watching my brothers—all of us sitting here together. It’s too ethereal, and I can’t make it make sense. I keep trying to believe it’s reality, but it’s fucking with my head.

“Don’t like the food?” I ask Quinn, who’s raking pieces of cut pancake around her plate with her fork.

“The food’s great,” she responds thoughtfully.

“JOSHY-DADDY!”

We all hear Charlie’s sweet voice sing out through the restaurant as she and Josh’s fiancée Sophie walk towards our table.

Josh stands up and Charlie runs and leaps into his arms. After they hug, Josh grabs a couple extra chairs from nearby.

“I didn’t think you two were going to make it!” He taps Charlie on the nose and kisses Sophie.

“I didn’t either,” Sophie says tiredly, “but I’m all caught up.”

Sophie is not only Josh’s fiancée, she’s also his personal masseuse on his MMA training team. She recently implemented a massage program for the kids at North House with two other massage therapists and tries to work with them as much as she can when she’s in town.

“UNCLE LIAM!” Charlie falls like she has no bones from Josh’s lap to mine, where I scoop her into my arms for a hug.

“Hey, Charlie-bear! What’s the word, hummingbird?” I ask.

She giggles. “Pancakes!” she cries then grabs a piece of pancake from my plate and puts it in her mouth as fast as she can.

“Hey! Where did it go?” I look baffled.

“Disappeared!” she mumbles with the half chewed pancake in her mouth.

“Sophie, this is Quinn,” Josh introduces. “Quinn, Sophie.

“Hi.” Sophie and Quinn shake hands over me and Charlie, smiling at each other.

“Nice to meet you,” Sophie says.

“Same here.”

Everyone sits and eats and talks as the excitement starts back up.

Josh and Sophie are so obviously in love, and it makes my heart swell to think of Quinn actually sitting beside me, but when I look over at her, I can tell that something’s going on behind her beautiful eyes, like she’s lost in thought.

That’s when reality starts to cave in.

There is no guarantee for her and me. We made no promises or commitments. Sex, reminiscing and breakfast don’t erase the past pain and regret or create a shiny new future. The meal will end. Soon, the plates will be cleared, and Talon will pick up the check and everyone will go home.

Where will we go?

One minute at a time, Liam.
I force myself to calm my mind and lace my fingers between hers underneath the table. She leans her head on my shoulder. That’s all I need to fill my emotional hot air balloon and go soaring again.

“You sure you want to do this now?” I ask her as I’m fitting the key into the door to The House of Ink and Steel.

“I’m positive. It’ll help me get my mind off tomorrow,” Quinn says.

Tomorrow
. That’s something I haven’t wanted to think about …
at all.

She means her mother’s funeral.

I mean the future—her future, my future—our
together
future.

She still has school in Georgia … but she’s already said she was thinking about moving back. I can’t bring it up. I can’t speak about it at all. What if she decides against it? What if she decides the memories are too painful here?

I lead her into my alcove, where she gets comfortable on the table as I begin preparing ink.

She wants me to color the tattoo I made for her so many years ago—the two mountain bluebirds flying free from the cage.

Could I move to Georgia? Realistically?

Leave the brothers and Cade and the kids? That would be like removing my kidney. Could I live without my kidney?

“Is it going to hurt as bad as it did the first time?” she teases from behind her lashes.

I smile. “No. I’ve developed a steady hand since then. Are you going to whine like you did the first time?”

“Probably.”

Not being with Quinn is like living without my heart—been there, done that. It hurts like death.

I start up the needle. “Remember not to squirm. Save that for me for later.”

The needle touches her skin, and in moments, the birds come to life.

“You know, after I saw you kiss Adrienne goodbye, I thought she was your girlfriend?” Quinn doesn’t say it like a statement, she asks it like a question, as if she’s still not sure what to believe.

“So you think I’d cheat on my girlfriend with you?” I cock an eyebrow playfully.

“Oh my God, is she your girlfriend?” she asks, panicking.

“Would I be a real asshole if I said I wouldn’t care?”

“LIAM!”

“QUINN!” I mock her tone.

She goes quiet for a moment then confesses, “I’d cheat for you.”

“Yeah, me too. But to put your mind at ease, no, Adrienne is not my girlfriend. Her girlfriend would be pretty pissed if we ever started dating.”

“Her
girlfriend
?” she emphasizes. “Suddenly I feel much better.”

I laugh then say, “I have no girlfriend. And although I’ve gone out, nothing could ever be serious. I figured I’d be a bachelor forever.”

You took my heart with you.
How I know is because for the first time in ten years, I can feel it beating again.

If I had to choose between my heart and my kidney, my heart would win every time.

I want to ask what her plans are. What’s she going to do now? Now that she knows I still love her? Now that she’s admitted to still loving me.

“I’m going to freshen up these lines—it’s faded some,” I tell her.

“Okay.”

I wait a moment before asking, “Would you like me to come with you tomorrow?”

“You would do that?”

“Of course I would.”

“Thank you. I might be able to handle it better if you’re there with me,” she says.

“Quinn?”

“Yeah?”

“Why do you
want
to go?” I ask. “I don’t mean to be disrespectful, I just …”

“Don’t … worry about it. It’s a valid question.” She explains, “I don’t have an answer for that, except that maybe it gives me the chance to say goodbye. Maybe it gives me closure. Maybe watching her being dropped into the earth will be healing. She’s dead, so she’s not pretending I don’t exist anymore. She can’t hurt me anymore. It’s final. I don’t know, maybe it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. It’s human.”

“Speaking of human—MY GOD, THAT HURTS!”

“Sorry,” I say with a laugh. “I’m in the tight spaces of the tree leaves. It’s looking beautiful though.”

“I’m sure it is.”

I think of what could be our next step. “Quinn?”

“Yes?”

“If you want to, we could stop by North House and pick up some of your clothes, if you’d like to stay the night again … with me?” I hold my breath.

She’s quiet for a moment. “I’d like that very much.”

Breathing again—with a huge-ass, fucking-goofy grin on my face.

“Quinn?”

“Yes, Liam?”

“Seeing your tits crushed against my tattoo table is turning me on.”

“Good,” she replies. “When you’re done, we’ll have to do something about that.”

I sigh contentedly. Absolutely everything I wanted to hear.

“Quinn?”

“I’m right next to you. Why do you keep saying my name?”

I think about that for only a second. “Because I have ten years of not saying it to make up for.”

“Oh, Liam …”

I finish the tat, set the needle on the table and gently kiss above the tender area of her shoulder, above the tattoo. “Ready to see it?”

She nods and together we go to the mirror—I hold up the large portable one so she can see behind her.

“It’s perfect, Liam! It’s absolutely perfect!!”

We make love again—there on the tattoo table and again after we get back to the house—and I realize it’s the first time my house truly feels like home.

*****

When the early morning light peeks through the windows, I reach over to get closer to Quinn, but she’s not in the bed.

Bathroom, I think.

But soon, I have to go, and she’s not in there.

I throw on a pair of shorts and walk downstairs.

Bailey’s lying next to the front door.

“Quinn?” I call and make my way to the kitchen.

No answer. No Quinn.

Maybe she went for a walk? She woke once last night from a bad dream and cuddled in next to me.

I check my phone. No messages.

I check the counters and end tables. No notes.

It’s only two hours before the funeral. I consciously decide I’m not going to freak out and jump in the shower.

An hour and a half later—after several calls and texts—I have no idea where she is. I also have no idea which funeral home the service is at.

I’m not sure what to think. Did she decide she didn’t want me to go with her, so she just up and left with no goodbye or explanation? Doesn’t seem like Quinn.

Did I fuck up and scare her off? Could have to do with that cheesy line about saying her name.

No, we had some pretty great sex after that.

When my phone rings, I snatch it up.

It’s Cade.

“Hey,” I answer, “I got something going on here.”

“Here too. Do you know where Quinn is?” he asks. “Someone’s here trying to find her.”

“I woke up and she wasn’t here. I was supposed to go to the funeral with her, but now I’m just about going out of my mind. You know what? I’ll be right there—maybe she’ll show up there.” And although it sounds like he was about to say something else, I hang up and rush over.

Who’s looking for her?

Friends of her mother? Or other family relations?

Where the hell could she be? The funeral is starting.

I park in front of The Core and rush in. I take double strides to Cade’s office and push open the door.

“Excuse me,” I blurt out, when I see a guy sitting in the office chair opposite Cade.

“It’s fine.” Cade stands up. When he does, the other guy stands too.

I notice he’s in a suit—not too many people come to The Core dressed up. This must be the person who’s looking for Quinn.

“Liam, this is James. Quinn’s fiancé.” 

Chapter Fourteen

2015

Liam

My mouth goes dry, and I feel like I’ve just blacked out, but I’m still standing.

James reaches his hand out to shake mine, and like a robot—a very deranged robot who has the sudden urge to throw this man I’ve never met before across the room and then kill him—I shake his.

“James wanted to attend the funeral with Quinn but couldn’t get out of work in time to get here, but as you can see … he made it after all,” Cade explains with an expression of concern—as if he knows I’m going to blow.

“I haven’t been able to get ahold of her for the last few days,” the fiancé says. “She was supposed to be staying at a motel in the city, but when I called them, they told me she never checked in.”

“I explained to James that she was staying with Debra and me,” Cade says slowly.

My veins feel like they’re on fire. My brain feels like it’s melting, and I want to crawl out of my skin. This can’t be right.

“Fiancé?” I reiterate.

“Yes, that’s what I said.” Cade nods.

“I feel terrible for not having been able to make it here for her earlier. I thought I’d surprise her and come, but now I’m worried,” Asshat tells us.

“Has anyone tried the funeral home?” I bite out.

I can’t look at him or I’m going to hit him. My fists are already clenching at my side.

“Yeah, I’ve called over there a few times now,” Cade says. “Reardon Funeral Home. The funeral has started, and the director says that no one with her name has checked in with him or signed the guest book, and no one that young is at the service.”

“And Debra hasn’t heard anything?” I try.

“No,” Cade answers.

Asshat shakes his head mournfully. “I shouldn’t have let her come out here alone.”

I’m a volcano ready to blow. I have to get the hell out of here. I can’t be in the same room with this asshole!

Freaking Quinn!
Way to prepare me. Way to tell me!

What happened with all the girlfriend-boyfriend-cheating talk yesterday? Did she
not think
that would’ve been the best time to tell me that she was
engaged to be married
?

Oh! Maybe she was going to send me an invitation.

FUCK!

“I’ve got to go.” I turn to leave.

“Liam, I need a word with you out in the hall,” Cade tells me.

FUCK
again!
I do NOT want a word with Cade!

But he closes the door behind us and we walk down the hall.

“Listen to me—” he begins.

“No! No, I won’t. I can’t. Not this time, Cade,” I rage. “She lied to me. Bold faced, right-out fucking lied!”

“She didn’t tell you, I understand.”

“You don’t understand!” I cry. “I’ve just spent all weekend making love to her, and she has a fucking fiancé!”

“Liam—”

“I can’t do this again, Cade! I’m going to get shitfaced.”

Cade grabs me firmly by the shoulders. “Son, you need to listen to me.”

Son.
He has my attention.

“I know you and Quinn like I know my own name. The two of you belong together—always have. She knows it too. I don’t know who this guy is, and it doesn’t matter.”

“Doesn’t matter? He’s her fiancé.”

“There is no ring on that woman’s finger. Do you understand me, son? She either took it off in hopes of seeing you or it’s not a true commitment. Either way, her heart is yours, Liam.”

“I don’t think I can go through this again.” I shake my head.

He nods. “You and Quinn share the rarest kind of love. It was strong enough to save both your lives. If you believe in it, I think it can again.”

“What am I supposed to do?” I rub my temples with my fingers.

“Find her.”

Find her.
Why doesn’t James find her?

Rarest kind of love—strong enough to save both our lives.

I test the engine of my Nissan as I speed across the highway at over one hundred miles per hour, obviously not caring about my own life or anyone else’s.

Talk about the shit hitting the fan! Fucking Talon and his signs. I should have known better. I should have stayed away from her.

I fishtail off the exit.

Beeline to the nearest liquor store.

My cell rings; it’s Talon.

Nope. Don’t need it, don’t want it.

I let the call go to voicemail as I take up two parking spaces in front of the liquor store. As I go in, I realize this is Johnson’s Liquor Store, the one I stole Baileys from on Quinn’s sweet sixteen.

I rip open the door angrily.

I grab a bottle of tequila and slam it on the counter.

“Drinking angry makes for a bitter hangover,” old man Johnson says.

“It’s agony just to be alive, so the hangover will be a relief.” I throw a twenty on the counter and start to walk out. “Here.” I turn around and toss another twenty dollar bill down. “This is for her Baileys. Now we’re even.”

“What?” Mr. Johnson calls after me.

I get back into the car and see my phone on the seat.

Looks like, while I was in the store, Josh called.

Nope. Been there, done that.

Where the fuck am I going to consume this bitch? I can’t go home, she’s all over my house now.

I can’t go to my own fucking shop because she’s there too!

Fuck! FUCK!!

Fiancé.
Asshole fiancé!
He wasn’t even here for her.

Oh God, I want to crack this bottle open. Where the fuck can I go?!

Then I hear my mouth say, “Where the fuck are you anyway, Quinn? You came here for a funeral, and now you’re not even at the fucking funeral??”

Goddamnit!
I hop on the highway and drive to Reardon’s Funeral Home. Can’t I just leave the woman alone? She’s the one who left my bed this morning!

Obviously not,
I think as I park across the street from the home and run over.

Opening the door, I walk into the solemn service and stand in the back, checking heads for Quinn, but I don’t see her.

Over on the other side of the aisle is someone who appears to be an usher or the director.

I approach him. “Excuse me. I’m looking for the daughter of the deceased, Ms. Quinn Kelley …”

“I’m sorry. No one by that name has check in or called.”

“Thank you.”

My attention is diverted. At the podium, one of her mother’s friends is talking about what a wonderful woman she was and how she’ll always be remembered as a friend and caring volunteer in the community.

Bunch of fucking bullshit.

I remember the first time I met her. It was after she nearly killed Quinn by not letting her use a fucking phone. I went to her home to accuse her. Cade dragged me away. If she had been a man, I would have beat the fuck out of her.

And Quinn came back for her, not you,
I remind myself.

I turn away and leave. I can’t take it.

Back in the car I check for a message from Quinn. When there isn’t any, I text Cade.

Any word?

He comes back.
None.

Is the douchebag still with you?

Yeah, can’t get rid of him. Now I have his sister here too.

Better Cade than me. The asshat’s life expectancy would drop dramatically.

I put the key in the ignition, but pause to lean back in my seat.

“Where are you, Quinn Kelley?”

I’ve never stopped loving you
, she said.

She didn’t leave you,
Josh said.
She was dying.

Dying.

Dying.

I tear away from the curb and race to the other side of town.

*****

July, 2005

Liam

“Where the hell is she, Cade?” I shout as I move past the police flooding Cade’s office at North House.

“It’s none of your concern, boy,” one of the cops says.

“It’s all my concern,” I spit vehemently but then stall dead in my tracks when I see Cade covered in blood.

“Liam.”

I’ve never seen the man broken. Not once. And I can’t even fathom or describe the terror, agony and fury that he’s wearing on his face, along with the splattered blood. I shake my head against anything he could possibly say, as if I could stop whatever it is or make it not real.

“She’s in the hospital, son,” Cade almost whispers.

“Why?” I grit out between my teeth.

Cade loses his calm, always-at-the-ready demeanor and breaks down crying.

“TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!” I scream, banging my fist on his desk.

“You’re going to have to leave!” A cop grabs my arm and starts pulling me away.

I yank my arm back. The cop is about to lose his teeth.

“No, wait.” Cade stops him. “I’ll talk to him. He needs to know. The girl is his fiancée.”

He stands up and walks around his desk. “Follow me.”

We go into the family counseling room. It’s empty and dark. The only thing to hear is the sound of our breath. He clicks on the table lamp.

Now that he’s standing in the light, I can see the blood is all over his hands and shirt and pants. The perfect outline of a slender bloody handprint is set over the shoulder of his white t-shirt.

“Is the blood …?” I’m shaking now.

“Hers.”  He swallows. “She was jumped by Vince and some of his thugs.”

“Jesus Christ.”
Hospital, he said hospital,
I remind myself.
“Is she …?”

He shakes his head and pushes out with a sob, “Son, I’m so sorry … they’re not sure if she’s going to make it.”

It’s a nightmare. I’m sleeping, and it’s a fucking nightmare. WAKE UP, LIAM!

I step forward and take hold of Cade’s hands. I smear the blood with my fingers. “This is
all
her blood?”

He nods.

“Is any of it Vince’s?” I ask not looking up.

“No. She was so bad by the time I got to her … behind the gas station …” he chokes out. “It was all I could do to save her.”

Someone knocks hard on the door. “Come in,” Cade calls out.

“Mr. North, we just got a call from the doctors,” one of the cops says as he and his partner walk towards us.

Debra bolts into the room and grabs Cade, sobbing.

The cop says, “They’ve taken Ms. Kelley into surgery—she has several fractured ribs, one of which has punctured her right lung, and her jaw is broken in two places. Both of her arms have been pulled from their sockets and dislocated. She’s lost a lot of blood from the knife wounds and internal bleeding.”

This isn’t happening—it isn’t real. I’ll wake up, and she’ll be in the kitchen with Debra, making breakfast, and then we’ll go to the Mall of America to the amusement park. I’ll win her a stuffed animal, and later we’ll ride the Ferris wheel, and when the car stops at the top we’ll kiss and not be able to keep our hands off each other.

Debra reaches over and takes one of my hands from Cade’s.

The cop takes a moment to pause. “The tests show that she was sexually assaulted. We’ll need to do a DNA test to determine the number of assailants.”

DNA test? Assault. Number of assailants.

“There were five of them,” Cade barely gets out. “I think they all—” He sobs. He can’t go on.

“I need to see her.” I rub the pads of my fingertips into her blood, which now paints the palms of my hand.
              “The doctor said family tomorrow … if she makes it through the night. They’ll have her in the ICU.”

“We are her family,” Debra cries.

“Of course, ma’am,” he says. “I’m so terribly sorry. They’re doing everything they can to save her.”

If.

Knife wounds.

If she makes it.

Jaw broken in two places, arms pulled from sockets.

Internal bleeding.

Ms. Kelley has fractured ribs that have punctured her lung.

Everything they can to save her.

Quinn … could die.

Is dying.

That’s when the gravity crushes me. The angel was supposed to protect her. I was supposed to protect her.

If she dies, I die.

What’s happening inside of me is indescribable—I’ve never felt it before. It’s as if one switch inside of me has been turned off while another is switched on.