Burn (22 page)

My cellphone buzzes in my pocket, and as I take it out and glance at it, I’m suddenly reminded of
exactly
what I’m hiding; reminded like a slug to the gut.

I scowl at Javier’s text under the table, gritting my teeth. Fighting has always been a thrill to me; there’s this rush of pure reality when you connect, or even when someone connects with you. But now, fuck,
now
it’s just this thing I have to do; like a jail sentence I just can’t get through. I’m over it, but its not over me, apparently.

I glance at the address on my screen - some shit-hole part of the South Bronx -  and stand from the table as I clear my throat; “I, uh, I’ve gotta run and do something.”

Hudson frowns; “Aw, what the hell, man? We went over those shipping contracts all afternoon; we’re
done
with business for the day.” He shakes his head; “Sit your ass down and be normal.”

“It’s- uh, it’s a date actually.” I say, raking my hand through my hair and trying not to look as guilty as I feel.

“
Oh!
” Hudson looks up from his plate and grins at me; “Well, shit, get going then!”

Reagan’s eyes narrow at me; “Good for you, Logan,” She says dryly, and I swallow and clear my throat again uncomfortably. Yeah, she definitely knows.

I glance quickly at Quinn and see the frozen look on her face as she avoids my eyes and pushes food around her plate with her fork. She knows what this is.

“Uh, so, OK then. I’ll see you guys later on?” I force a casual smile out at the table, but my eyes keep darting back to Quinn, who still won’t look at me.

“Yeah, see ya,” She finally mumbles out, looking away and taking a sip of wine.

*****

It’s not until I’m about to climb into my car at the valet stand when I hear her shout my name as she comes running out of the restaurant. Her face looks white as she shakes her head when I turn to her, and it feels like a stab through my chest.

“Don’t go,” She says pleadingly.

“Quinn-”

“Just don’t go? You don’t have to fucking do this! Please, Logan!
Please
don’t do this.”

“I
have to
.”

And I can’t tell you why, and I know you’re going to hate me for that.

I can’t, though. Telling her everything would mean losing her. This might mean the same thing, but at least this way she just thinks I’m an asshole instead of knowing the utter piece of scum I was before. And if I have to lose her anyways, I’m sure as hell not going to let her into that part of me if I can help it; for
her
sake.

“I have to go, Quinn.” I say quietly.

“
Please
.” Her eyes are wide and searching my face for
something
that I know she’s just not going to find; not right now. “For me,” She says, and it’s like someone’s just punched me in the face; “For
me
, don’t go.”

It’s all for you
, I think, tightening my jaw as I look into those deep pools of her eyes.

“Here,” I fish the keys to my penthouse out of my jacket pocket and push them into her hands; “It’s still partially under construction, but you can stay at my place.” She’s shaking her head and looking away from me with all the pain I know she’s feeling in her eyes; “Quinn, I’ll meet you there later; it’ll be fine.”

She takes the keys, but she’s turning and slipping out of my hands and walking back inside; “It’s going to be fine!” I lie, calling out to her. She turns and gives me one last lingering look full of hurt and pain, and it
kills
me because lying to her face hurts the worst, worse than I know its going to hurt later.

*****

When I’m stepping into the ring later, sweat already pouring down my bare chest in the rush of the moment, the lights bright and the guy across from me looking like he wants to bury me, that last look from Quinn is the only thing I can see.

I’m supposed to win this one, but I just don’t fucking care anymore. Javier is screaming bloody murder at me from outside the ropes, but I ignore him and just take the beating. I barely put up blocks as the guy I’m fighting hits me again, and again, and again, numbing the pain. It’s sweet release with every hit; like the punishment I get and deserve for fucking up my own rules and breaking her heart.
 

Quinn-

I stagger back from the solid hit, blinking as the guy advances on me, his fists raised.

Quinn, I’m sorry.

It’s the last thought I have before I hit the ground, and it all goes black.

I’m awake when he comes home later. Well, I’m fairly sure I’m asleep at first actually, curled up in the large couch in his study. But the loud crash and the sound of shattering glass has me bolting from my sleep and from the couch with wide eyes and my breath in my throat as I dash towards the sounds. A cold chill seizes my heart as I round the corner, and my hands fly to my mouth when I see Logan slumped over on the floor next to a broken lamp.

Oh, God-

I’m running into the room, and I’m at least four steps in when I shriek as I realize we’re not alone, and the scream hitches like cold water in my throat.

“Well
hello
there, bonita.” Javier has his arms crossed over his chest and a predatory glint in his eyes as he grins at me, backed by two big looking guys who look incapable of smiling. I’m freezing mid step, and I glance back towards the doorway as Javier laughs; “Aww, now don’t go leavin the party
just
yet, chica. You just
got
here!”

He blows me a kiss that has my skin crawling, and one of his guys is stepping behind me to block the doorway.

“Get the fuck away from her, or I’ll-“

I scream and Logan grunts as Javier strides over and cuts him off with a kick to the ribs; “You’ll do
what
now?” He says with a leering grin down at Logan; “So sorry
cabrón
, I think you mumbled that last bit.” Logan grits his teeth and glares up the man, but Javier only laughs again and turns towards me. I can feel the blood pounding in my ears.
 

I’m suddenly keenly aware that this is a world I know
nothing
about, and that I’m so far out of my element with seeing
actual
mobsters - or whatever these guys are - inflicting
real
violence. I immediately think of my time as a med student working the late-night E.R. shift and patching up all manner of stabbings, or busted faces, or cracked ribs from people fighting. But I’ve only ever seen the aftermath, and seeing the first part being enacted right here in the supposed safety of Logan’s
home
is almost too surreal to even take in.

“Sorry if we woke you, baby,” Javier says, his eyes drifting down over my t-shirt and making me shiver uncomfortably; “We just had to bring your boyfriend back home.” He mimes tossing a drink back; “Think he had a
bit
too many,” he finished with a wink. “But hey, listen, I could do with a little
nightcap
if you wanted, honey.” The wicked look on his face has my heart pounding in my ears like a freight train as I slowly take a step back and narrow my eyes at him; “Don’t you fucking
touch
me.” I hiss.

Logan makes another move on the floor, but one of Javier’s guys keeps him down with a booted foot on his chest as they all laugh.

“Relax, honey,” Javier says with another lecherous grin; “But hey, if you’re into the mercenary type and you wanna try something
new
,” He winks and grabs his crotch, and I sneer at him in disgust; “Maybe you’d like a guy who doesn’t get his
ass kicked
so much?” He turns and chuckles down at the bleeding and enraged looking Logan pinned to the floor; “You know, I taught this fucking pendejo everything he fuckin knows back in Africa, and
this
is the kind of thanks I get!” He sighs dramatically and shakes his head; “Always gotta play the game
his way
, even when I tell you not to, huh Logan? Always gotta be
on top
instead of just knowing your fuckin
place.”

I frown;
Mercenary? Africa?
What’s this guy even talking about?

Javier’s eyes light up as soon as he sees the look of confusion on my face; “Oh
shit
; he
still
hasn’t told you has he!” He starts to laugh out this grating, horrible chuckle; “Man, Irish, only a guy like you could get away with hittin a cutie like this and
still
not telling her where you came from. Shit, I’m almost impressed!” He chuckles before he turns his gaze on me, a glint in his eye; “And you’re his
daughter!
You’re
William Archer’s
kid
, and you
still
don’t know!”

His laugh curls into an evil looking grin as my face betrays my shock; “Oh I know who you are, honey,” He says quietly; “I know
exactly
who you are, and I also know where to find you and those pretty little sisters of yours.” He grins; “So how about we keep tonight just between us friends, comprendes?” He shoots me a last, lingering wink that has every muscle in my body tensing before he shrugs and turns; “Well, looks like my work here is done!” He nudges Logan with the toe of his boot; “See you next time, Irish.”

I’m frozen in my place, trying to will my heartbeat to calm down enough to even think until the front door slams shut. And then I’m racing over to Logan and dropping to my knees beside him; “Jesus, are you-“

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” He growls out, turning away from me and wiping the trickle of blood at his lip with the back of his hand.

“What the
fuck
, Logan!”

He forces out a laugh; “And a good evening to you too, sweet-cheeks.” He turns back and reaches out to grab my hands in his; “Look, I’ll be fine, Quinn.”

But before I can help it, I can feel the sting of tears in my eyes; “Get out, Logan.” I whisper.

“What?” He frowns.

“Of whatever you’re involved in,
please
just get out!”

His face darkens; “I told you, it’s not that simpl-“

“Why, because of
Africa
?”

He stiffens and starts to open his mouth but I grab him my the shirt and lean in close to him; “Look, I don’t
care
, Logan! I don’t care what happened there, ok? I know my Dad was
involved
in certain things, but I don’t care; I just want you to get out of it.” The tears run down my cheeks then as I look pleadingly into his eyes; “
Please
.”

I whimper as his lips crash into mine, and then I’m clutching at him like time or the world or even a strong wind might tear us apart. Then we’re tearing at each other’s clothes, and I’m gasping and clutching at him with the pure and undiluted
need
for him; the need to touch him and feel him. He pulls my t-shirt over my head and runs his hand down over my skin, and I’m shivering as my hands find the hardness pressing against the front of his gym-shorts. He growls as he flips us around and lays me on my back on the floor, his biceps and his chest rippling as he leans in to kiss me with fire and heat and growling, raging lust.

There’s no foreplay this time; no teasing and no slow build because we’re both desperate for each other in that moment. He’s skimming my panties down my legs, tearing at the foil packet in his hands with his teeth, and slipping between my legs as I rake my fingernails down over his shoulders and kiss him with everything I have.
 

I whimper as he runs the head of his cock over my entrance, looking up into his eyes to see them flashing green and gold at me; “You want this?” I bite my lip as I nod, and his grin only deepens as he leans down to nip at the lobe of my ear; “Beg me for it.”