Building Faith (Long Beach Series Book 2) (17 page)

God, I hope not.

His gray eyes lock on mine, and he looks happy to see me, but I can also see the troubled glint within their depths. “Faith,” he murmurs.

“Come in,” I say, motioning for him to step inside.

He enters the apartment, and I firmly shut the door. When I turn around, I see that Daisy has run up to him, and she's rubbing her little body all over his jean-clad ankles. Ace is watching her with a wary expression on his face as he runs a hand through his hair.

I quickly bend down and pick her up. “Make yourself comfortable. I'll just put her in the bathroom for a bit,” I tell him before I turn and walk towards the hallway. Daisy wiggles in my hands, clearly unhappy that I'm taking her away from her second favorite people person. “It's just for a bit,” I tell her as I kiss her on the nose before I set her on the floor. She's fast, and I just barely manage to shut the door before she can dart back out.

When I enter the living room, I see that Ace has settled himself on the couch. My eyes roam over him, taking in the casual white tee shirt he's wearing that makes him look tanner than usual. He practically lives in jeans, so I'm not at all surprised by them. His eyes follow me as I walk over and plop down on the other side of the couch. “How come you never wear shorts?” I ask as I face him, drawing my knees up slightly so I can get comfortable.

I can tell my question has thrown him. He blinks, then shrugs. “Never thought about it. I just usually go for jeans. Why? You like guys in shorts or something?” He cocks his head, waiting for my answer.

“I just noticed that you never wear them unless we're at the beach, so I thought I'd ask.”

“You didn't answer the question,” he points out as he studies me. “You got a thing for shorts?”

I shrug nonchalantly. “I guess it depends on the guy. Some look good, some don't.”

I think he'd probably continue the conversational topic of shorts if it weren't for the fact that he's here for a different type of conversation. If our friendship stays intact, I'm betting we'll be discussing shorts at a later date.

His eyes, focusing intently on mine, warn me we're about to get down to business. “I'm extremely attracted to you, and I acted on it the other night.” Ace runs a distracted hand through his hair, a sign I'm beginning to recognize that means he's not sure how I'll respond to what he has to say. “I know we've only known each other for less than a month, but I think we've gotten to be really good friends.” His eyes connect with mine. “The last thing I want to do is ruin it or make things awkward. I can shelve the attraction, I swear.”

I'm silent as I process what he'd just said. All I can focus on though, is the fact that he wants me. I'd give anything to have him touch me again. Now that his hands have been on my body, I crave it. It's always there in the back of my mind. He's not boyfriend material, I know that. But if anyone can help me explore my sexuality and show me what I've been missing, it's Ace. Unfortunately, he has a very good point. We've gotten really close as friends, and I'm afraid that if we act on our attraction to one another it might mess things up permanently.

“Fuck,” Ace mutters under his breath.

His curse has me looking at him with surprise. “What?”

Ace's heated gaze meets mine. “The incident in the bathroom changed things for you. You want it now just as bad as I do.”

I know I need to be honest with him, and I feel shy about what I'm going to say, but I can't back down from this conversation. “It felt really good,” I confess, and I add in a whisper, “I trust you.”

Emotion flickers across his face, and he swallows before giving me a respective nod. “You have no idea what that confession means to me, Angel.”

I gaze at him uncertainly. “What do we do, Ace?”

“What do you want?” His eyes search mine intently as he waits for my answer.

I begin to chew on my bottom lip as I sort out what to say in my mind before I actually say it.

“Stop doing that to your lip,” he suddenly groans.

“Why?”

“It turns me on.”

“Biting my lip turns you on?” I ask a bit doubtfully.

“A lot of things you do turn me on,” he says bluntly.

“Like what?”

He shakes his head. “We can't go there until we figure out what's going on between us. I need to know what you want. What you're comfortable with.”

“I don't want to lose your friendship.” His friendship is the most important thing to me right now.

“We've got a good thing going, don't we,” he agrees.

I nod. “But,” I begin tentatively, “I liked what you did to me. It's not something I can forget.”

“It'll always be there,” he confirms.

This situation is confusing to me, and I look away, gazing at the living room window. I'm still not quite sure what to do. I want him, but would our friendship survive it? Because I
need
our friendship. I can't imagine being here in Long Beach without him being a constant in my life.

“Talk to me, Faith,” he coaxes.

“You talk to me,” I counter back as my eyes turn towards him to stare him down. “I haven’t a clue what you want, but here you are, asking me to figure it out for the both of us. That's not fair.”

“You're right, it's not,” he concedes as his eyes hold mine. “Look, I'm not good at emotional shit, so if I say the wrong thing, don't get mad.”

“Just say it.” I brace myself mentally. I'm about to find out where his head is at, and I may not like it.

“Your friendship means the world to me, but I want to fuck you and make you scream with pleasure. I want to be the one to show you just how good sex can be.” My eyes widen at his boldness, but he continues on as his eyes hold mine captive. “The thing is, if I give into it, and we start messin' around, we take the chance of ruining our friendship. I'm not sure I can give you what you need and deserve, and not being able to give that to you could destroy everything.” His eyes pin me where I sit as he confesses, “I have
never
done the relationship thing. Never wanted to,” he adds.

The fact that he doesn't see me as long term relationship material has me looking away as I try to hide how much his admission stings.

“Faith, you're the only one who's ever made me
want
more than just a casual screw, but I'm not sure how much I'd be able to give you. I'm not saying I don't want to try to go there with you, but the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

I draw in a deep breath and try to exhale. This is getting complicated. We either agree to be platonic and just friends while dating others—well, he'd date others. I haven't gone out with anyone since Logan. So, I watch him date other women knowing I can never have him, or we take a chance on this attraction and see where it leads, which means the possibility of major heartbreak—at least for me.

“There's also Caleb to think about.”

“Caleb?” I ask with a frown as my eyes swing back to his. “What does he have to do with anything?”

Ace's expression turns instantly wary. “He's warned me away from you numerous times. He was even against us being friends until I managed to get him to change his mind.”

“You think he'd be mad if we were more than friends?”

Ace gives a dry laugh. “He'd be more than mad, Faith. You have heard about my reputation, right?”

I nod.

“As I said earlier, I'm not relationship material. I have a feeling that whether we remain just friends, or if we act on our attraction, I'm going to hurt you either way. The fact that I know this and yet I'm still here, tells you just what kind of a selfish ass I can be.”

What am I supposed to say to that? Even I know that no matter which road we go down, it's going to cause one of us or both of us a world of pain in the future. I rub my temple that's beginning to ache. This conversation has turned out to be way more intense than I'd expected it to be.

“I think we need to think things over before we decide where we're going with this,” Ace says with a hint of finality in his tone.

“I think that would be best,” I agree.

“In the meantime, let's keep things as they are. We'll still hang. You down with that?”

“Yes, of course.”

I'm nervous as I get ready Friday night. The entire group is going to a club, and this is the first time Ace and I would be seeing each other since our conversation the other night. I still haven't made up my mind what I want to do, and I wonder if Ace has.

As I'm slipping into a cobalt blue mini dress, I hear my phone chirp where I'd last tossed it on my bed. I struggle to pull the material down over my ribs and then past my hips. When I'm satisfied all is where it's supposed to be, I grab the phone off the bed. It's a text message from Ace.
Are you coming to the club tonight?

I quickly text back,
yes.

I'm going to keep my distance because of Caleb.

My heart sinks, and my excitement from earlier deflates. I had been hoping to spend time with him, but considering what's going on between us, I guess I can see how it would make sense not to give Caleb anything to be suspicious about.

With a soft sigh, I drop down on the bed and text back that I understand. I set the phone aside and gaze down at Daisy, who's been sitting on the floor watching me for the past few minutes. I think she's realizing I'm leaving, and she's probably hoping that she can stare me down with some kitty mojo and make me stay.

“I don't know, Daisy. Everything made sense up until that incident at Ace's. Now nothing is for sure, and I feel like no matter what I decide, it's going to be the wrong choice,” I tell her. She perks up at her name and takes it as an invitation to hop up on the bed to rub up against my thigh. I reach down and pet her with a smile. “Guys are complicating. I'm glad you're female.”

I'm beyond miserable.

“Here, you need this more than I do,” Zoey announces as she shoves yet another shot in my hand.

I've thrown all caution to the wind and allowed myself to consume alcohol tonight. Justin is my past. If I want to drink, I can drink. I throw back the shot and this time manage not to cough.

Zoey peers at me from where she sits next to me. “We need to get you buzzin'. You're too sober. Why don't we go dance,” she suggests as she tugs on my arm, trying to pull me out of the booth we'd snagged at the club. It's just us right now since Caleb went to get more drinks, and everyone else is dancing. The only reason Zoey's not out there is because of me. The minute I'd said I'd hold the table, she'd sat down next to me. She then cheerfully held down a conversation between me, her, and Caleb for as long as she could.

I know I should go dance or do
something.
I've felt Caleb's eyes on me since we'd arrived, and I'm pretty sure he can tell my heart isn't really into being here. Maybe if Ace wasn't dancing with every available female, I'd be having a better time. Just the thought of him has my heart aching.

I hide my thoughts and smile brightly at Zoey. “I think I need more alcohol before I can get my groove on.”

Not really, but it's a good excuse for not going out on the dance floor where Ace is at.

“One more, then you should be good or you're going to wake up with your head in the toilet tomorrow,” Zoey warns before she stands up and saunters away.

I'm alone now, and I guess I'm in the mood for more torture. My eyes automatically shift to where I'd seen Ace last. Sure enough, he's still dancing with the gorgeous redhead. The way she acts and touches him has me thinking that she knows him intimately. Her touch is familiar with a hint of possessiveness to it. My eyes drift over her enviously. She's stunning with a perfect figure and perfect breasts. She's confident, too.

Everything I'm not.

I watch Ace's hand slide over her butt, his lips quirking up in that familiar sexy grin of his. His gaze is completely focused on her while they grind, and I feel tears sting the backs of my eyes. Now I know what I should have done the other night when we'd tried to sort things out. I should have told him then and there that whatever is going on between us is worth fighting for—even if it puts our friendship on the line. I now realize that I can't watch him with other women—not when I've had his hands on my body. I've had a taste of what it could be like, and I can't go back to the way it used to be.

I draw in a deep breath and look down at the table as I try to pull myself together. If I can't have him the way I want, then I can't watch the other women get what I crave. It'd be torture. Either way I look at it, our friendship is probably over. I have to walk away now if we can't take our relationship to the next level before my heart ends up shredded to itty bitty pieces. And if we do try and it fails, I still lose him.

“Where's Zoey?”

I start slightly and glance at Caleb. He's standing beside the table and placing multiple drinks where the others had been sitting. The flashing strobe lights above the dance floor cast flickering shadows across his face. “She went to go get me another drink.”

Caleb glances at the two empty shot glasses in front of me. He frowns disapprovingly. “I don't think you should have anymore, or you're going to end up with a hangover.”

“You know, I think I'm going to go home,” I announce as I rise to my feet. I need to end the torture and just go to bed.

“Wait, you're leaving?” Caleb steps closer to me, putting a hand on my arm. “You okay, Faith?” He asks as his blue eyes search mine with concern.

I look up at him brightly. “I'm fine. But you know this kind of stuff isn't my thing. I'm just holding you and Zoey back. Plus, I have to work tomorrow.”

“I'll take you home,” he offers immediately.

“No, really. I'm fine. I can get a cab.”

Caleb gives me a firm look. “I'm taking you home.”

“You're taking her home?” Zoey asks with surprise as she walks up to us after overhearing Caleb's response to my offer of getting a cab. She turns on me, a shot glass in her hand. “You don't want to stay?”

“I have to work tomorrow, and this scene isn't really my thing.”

I see she wants to argue, but she nods, giving in. “Okay.” She turns her attention on Caleb. “Take her home, and then come back,” she says before she walks away, downing the shot herself.

“Let me drive you. I haven't even started drinking yet, so I'm good to go, and it'll save you money.”

I give in. “Okay.”

He leads me through the club, and then we exit the building and walk to his car. The alcohol has decided to kick in, and I feel a bit woozy as I buckle up.

“So, fill me in on what I've missed lately. You always seem to be at the café or else Ace is monopolizing your time. I feel like I haven't seen you much in the past few weeks,” Caleb say as he pulls out of the parking lot and merges with traffic.

“Actually, I don't see Ace all that much,” I say truthfully. “He's got classes and then his clinical. If I see him during the week, it's only for an hour or two.” I gaze out my window, trying not to brood over the topic of Ace.

“I haven't seen him much lately, not even on campus. Usually he's lazing around in between classes with the others, but he hasn't been around.”

I'm not sure what to say, so I don't say anything at all.

“Talk to Ben lately?”

“I did a few nights ago,” I reply.

We talk about Ben the entire drive back, and Caleb walks me up to my apartment. I'm still feeling a bit tipsy, so as soon as we enter my apartment, I kick off my high heels before I fall and break my neck. I can hear Daisy meowing in the bathroom, begging to be let out. “My poor baby,” I mumble as I pad bare foot to the hall.

“Did you just say 'poor baby’?” Caleb calls after me.

“Yes, I did!” I toss over my shoulder as I open the bathroom door. Daisy bolts out of the bathroom and runs off, probably fearing I'll change my mind and lock her back up. I turn around and walk to Caleb, who's now standing in my living room and staring down at Daisy. She'd rushed over to him the second she'd spied someone new.

“You have a kitten,” he says with amazement before he squats down to pet Daisy.

I gaze down at them and smile as Daisy rubs herself all over his hands, periodically shoving her nose at him, begging for more attention. “Ace got her for me.”

Caleb looks skeptical as he looks up at me. “Ace did?”

“Yeah. He knew I wanted a kitten, so he surprised me with her last weekend.”

“Pets aren't allowed here.”

“I know. That was also my first response. He said that if I ever need maintenance work done, I can leave her at his place.”

Caleb gives me an odd look. “Really? I've always been under the impression that he's not much of a pet kind of guy.”

“He isn't.”

He chuckles as he rises to his feet. “I bet he regrets his decision every time he comes over if she's this friendly,” he muses as he gazes down at the kitten, who's rubbing herself along his ankles.

“I see it on his face every time,” I agree with a giggle.

Caleb shakes his head and reaches out to ruffle my hair affectionately. “You never giggle, which means you are drunk. Go to bed.”

“Thanks for bringing me home.”

“Anytime, Faith,” he says as he reaches out to hug me. I willingly wrap my arms around his waist and savor the hug that I hadn't known I needed until this very moment.

“I'm so lucky to have you in my life,” I mumble into his shirt.

His chest rumbles as he chuckles. “I see alcohol makes you sappy,” he teases as he runs a hand through my hair. He adds, “You're like the little sister I never had, so remember that when someday I butt into your personal life out of brotherly protectiveness,” he says lightly.

I snort into his chest and look up at him with exasperation. “Just what I need. Two protective brothers.”

He grins down at me. “I think that's exactly what you need,” he says as he gives me loud, resounding kiss on the middle of my forehead. “Go to bed.”

After I lock the door behind Caleb, I walk back to my bedroom and yawn. Daisy runs into the room and takes a flying leap up onto the bed. When she turns and looks at me questioningly, I smile. “Yes, it's bedtime,” I agree. Daisy will use the little pet bed in the bathroom when she's locked up, but at night, I let her sleep with me on the bed. She's a very good at cuddling. I could definitely use some of that tonight.

I'm about to leave the bedroom to brush my teeth when my cell phone chirps on the nightstand. I walk over and pick it up. It's Ace.
You went home?

My fingers are moving across the letters of the keypad immediately.
Yes.

Why? Was someone bothering you?

After a moment's hesitation, I send back,
No.

Why did you leave?

I should really think over my response first, but I want him to know how much it hurt to see him with those other women tonight. He
knows
I like him. Why would he do that to me?
I didn't want to watch you anymore
,” I type and then press 'send'.

When I don't get a reply back immediately, I sigh. He's probably busy with the redhead. Just when I'm about to set the phone down, it chirps again.
Watch me?

It looks like I have to spell it out for him. Figures. I quickly type,
I didn't want to watch you anymore with all those pretty women.
I send off the message, fully aware that this kind of conversation is going to bring nothing but trouble. The next time I see Ace, the conversation isn't likely going to be pretty. I think if he liked me as much as I liked him, he wouldn't have been dancing with every woman that approached him tonight. My chest burns with helpless jealousy. I'm starting to wish that the incident in the bathroom had never happened. If only things could go back to normal.

My phone announces another message, and I scan it.
They don't compare to you, Angel. None of them come close to your beauty. Look, can I call you? I'm outside the club.

Old insecurities rush back, and I don't believe him. I saw the women he usually gravitates towards, and I am the polar opposite. I quickly type,
You're lying to me. I saw what you like tonight, and I can't compete with them.
Then I add,
No, don't call. I'm going to bed. Nite.
I press send and turn off the phone.

What a crappy evening.

I toss the phone back on the nightstand and make my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. I'm pretty sure I'm going to regret the text messaging in the morning, but tonight, I felt like I'd needed to let him know where I stand with him. I can't watch him with other women, so it's either me or we go our separate ways. I'm beginning to think separate ways might be best. Do I really want to start something with Ace, and then have to deal with my insecurities every time a beautiful woman tries to approach him?

I slam the cupboard door shut as I realize no matter what I do, it's going to be difficult. When Ace moves on, I'll still have to witness him with other women. A soft groan of frustration escapes me as I turn on the faucet to brush my teeth. Maybe I'm just being overly emotional since I've got alcohol in my system.

Once I've finished my nightly routine, I change into a cami and shorts. Daisy's already on the bed lying on her side, her little, orange tail flicking lazily as she watches me. The lamp is the only light on in the apartment, and I climb in bed. I'm just reaching for the lamp to turn it off when I hear someone pound on the apartment door. I start badly, and poor Daisy leaps off the bed and disappears beneath it. I hear another loud knock.

It has to be Ace.

Shoot.

When we'd text messaged back and forth, I hadn't meant for him to show up at my apartment. Or had I? I'm so confused tonight.

I quickly scramble out of bed and make my way into the living room. I turn on the lamp and walk to the door. I peek out the peephole to verify that it is indeed Ace, and oh boy, he looks pissed. I unlock the door and open it up, peering up at him sheepishly. “Hey.”

He fixes me with a hard, accusing stare. “You can't send me that shit and then shut off your damn phone.” Daisy darts past me and out into the hall before I can respond. Ace curses and quickly grabs her, then straightens up and brushes past me to enter my apartment. I quickly shut the door so Daisy can't try to make a repeat getaway. When I turn around, I see that he's set Daisy down, and Ace is now staring at me. “You don't see it, do you?” he realizes with evident frustration.

“See what?” I ask with confusion.

“You!” he says, waving a hand in my general direction. “You have no clue just how appealing you are. I've had a hard-on for weeks because of you. When I see someone I want, I fuck 'em and move on. I don't walk around with my dick permanently hard. The worst part is you've had no fucking clue. That's how innocent you are. And even
that
turns me on like you wouldn't believe.”

I stare at him mutely. I'd had no idea... I'm not sure what to say, and I'm a bit stunned that I have unknowingly turned him on that much.