Brutal (9 page)

Walking into the club, I was expecting a total shit box, but it has the basics as far as clubs go, I guess. The Captain and Rafe gave me one helluva convincing background. Military, PI work, and even guarding local celebrities. I’ve had run ins with the law, and have the habit of taking things too far. My file also says I’m canned a lot, due to my anger issues. They made me sound like an unstable asshole. So, yeah, they did good.

I figured Gallo would be here to grill me, but was surprised to see I’d be meeting with Max alone. He better not be with Venessa. I hadn’t planned on that. Last I knew, she was having lunch with Max, but Max is here. Fuck.

“Mr. Black, I’m Max Allen. Glad you could make it on such short notice. You understand what we need you for?” he asks, straight to the point.

“Personal protection for your female DJ,” I answer straight.

“Yeah well, it’s not just when she’s here. I trust you’re aware of whom we’re speaking?” he asks.

“Kharma, yeah, I’ve heard of her. I don’t do the club scene, but word gets around. She having problems?” I ask.

“She draws a big crowd. Thing is, some think they have rights to get close to her. Touch her, that kind of thing. But the thing is, she doesn’t like to be touched without permission. So we don’t want this getting out of hand. When we get full, security can’t be where I need ‘em, and that’s where you come in,” he says.

“There’s more here. What is it? Is the situation escalating?” I ask already knowing the answer

“Fuck yeah, it’s escalating. I got the DPD busting in here, putting their hands on her. I got motherfuckers following her home. We want to know she’s safe 24/7, and by any means necessary. Based on what I read, that shouldn’t be a problem for you. Is it?”

“Who’s we?”

“A partner of mine cares deeply for Ms. Cross, and her personal safety. He recommended you. If she’s safe and happy, then we got no problems,” he answers.

“No. It’s not a problem for me, as long as you let me handle her my way,” I say.

“By handle her, I hope you mean protecting her, because she ain’t no helpless female. You try handling her, and we’re gonna have us some problems. You handle her safety, and let us worry about the rest.”

“What does she think of all this?”

“She thinks it’s unnecessary,” a voice answers, and it’s the one I fell asleep to last night. I pray to Glock I’m able to play it cool and actually speak to her. Otherwise…

“You’re early, sweetheart.” He smiles.

“Actually, you’re late. When you didn’t text back, I figured you’d be here. So who’s this?”

I have to admit that the female has style. She’s also sneaky; I hadn’t realized she'd left.

“This sweetheart, is Rogan Black. Your new shadow,” he says with authority.

“I see. Mr. Black, yeah? What exactly
is
your job?” she asks, baiting me. It’s like a cheesy version of good cop worse cop. She’s a fucking pro.

I clear my, throat hoping to make a good impression. “My job is to keep you safe, nothing more nothing less, by any means necessary. That clear enough for you?” I say and I worry when she glares at me. Shit. Did I read that wrong?

“Max, may I have a word with you, please?” she asks, and I know I fucked up. I should have stayed silent.

“Ma’am, let me try this again. My job is to keep you safe. Not get in your way. If you’re open to it, we can make it work to where you won’t even know I’m there…much,” I say, hoping this works.

“Fine,” she says, mulling it over. “If Max thinks it’s a good idea, then it’s a good idea. But I want to go on record and say that I don’t like it. You hired a guy to watch me who doesn’t go to clubs?” she says, looking at Max. “This ought to be fun. And don’t ma’am me, ever. Gross.” And with that, she walks off.

“What about lunch?” asks Max, laughing.

“Not hungry,” she says and sashays away. No, really, she fucking sashayed. Staring at her ass I have to wonder if she walks like that all the time or only when she’s pissed.

“She really is a sweetheart. She just doesn’t like to feel like her freedom is being taken away. Be patient with her,” he says, and I realize that he really does care for her. I don’t fucking like it, but it's reality.

“I can be patient. As long as she listens,” I say, which is total bullshit

“No time like the present. You better catch her before she leaves, or you’ll never find her.” He laughs and walks away. I’ll give my girl a head start, let her think she’s won the first round. Finding her wasn’t going to be a problem anyway.

S
hit.

Shit.

Shit.

Of course, his voice is deep and rough. Deep and rough? Really, Venessa? Ugh. Snap out of it, whore. God, this may not have been such a great idea. I can’t think straight around that large man. That voice…fuck me, but that voice is unreal. Like it’s hardly used. I’m pretty sure, as much as I miss my family, I’m not getting a one way to paradise, so do I give in to the ultimate temptation? Can I survive that kind of sin? Shit. Would I even want to? Would anybody?

I find a bench and sit down in an effort to mellow out. Macy is a great listener, the best even, but I feel horrible calling her all the time. She’s busy, has her own stuff to deal with, but she’s a people person. Macy knows how to work a dress and heels, go out to events, and work a crowd. Macy Kowalski is pure class, always has been. Which is a miracle, given her upbringing. Macy was born to make a difference; she’s also the only person that gets me.

“Two calls in less than 12 hours. Are you dead or dying?”

“Define dying. Can you die from sexual frustration?” I mean, it’s a legitimate concern.

“God, I hope not. What a way to go.” She sighs. “But this isn’t about me. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, I just…I hoped I’d see him again, then I did just now, and my body goes haywire and my mind blanks. I don’t like this, Macy. Max hired him, I knew he would, but I don’t think I can do this.”

“You’re nervous. I’d worry if you weren’t, but hey, you will never do anything you don’t want to do again. Say it,” she commands me.

“I’ll never do anything I don’t want to do,” I say. “Macy, I’m scared.”

“Good. Being scared means you’re paying attention. A man worth having won’t scare you. He’ll protect you in every way. In return, you’ll protect him. That’s how it should be,” she decrees.

“Listen to me. I already sound like a sure thing. How many twenty-seven-year-olds do you know that are afraid of sex?”

“Just one, but she’s a god damn warrior who’s been to hell and back. I’d love for you to meet her, yeah? She’s this kick ass hero, who saves her best friend and beats up bad guys in her spare time. She’s also the most loyal person I know. I really think you’d love her,” she says quietly, and I want to cry. But I remember that I don’t cry. Not anymore.

“Macy?” I whisper.

“Yeah, I know, Venessa. I know,” she answers, then she disconnects because, yeah… she does know.

I sit there a few more minutes, wondering where to go next. I bailed on Max, so he can assume I’m pissed about the shadow thing. I mean I am pissed, but not at Max. At myself. I heard Max say it’s a 24/7 gig. My breath starts quickening just thinking about that. I don’t do well with company for long periods of time. Macy is the only one who gets that. Why can’t everyone else? The club, I can handle, but the rest? Shit… I can’t focus on this right now.

Finding Darnell this morning was pure luck. Trying to talk to that guy is work, meaning he doesn’t say shit unless you threaten him. It’s weird, but it works, we get on fine, we respect each other’s' boundaries. His girls are getting roughed up; I should know seeing as I’ve stepped in more than I’d like to. He needed to know, I told him, so we’re square. Now, I need to lean on this dealer Miguel, aka Big Dom (he’s a puny little guy), who’s selling to kids. He’s next on my list, I want to wrap him up before work tonight, but I can’t focus with the thoughts bouncing around in my head. I put in my Skulls, listen to tonight’s set, trying lose myself to the music and the craziness that is my life. But no matter what I do, my thoughts bring me back to the Detective.

As soon as I feel the air change, I prepare myself for company. Then, someone grips my arm causing my instincts take over. I hit the ground, taking the fucker with me. He tries to hold my arms to my sides, but that just sets me off. I will not be held down ever again. So I roll on top of the guy, secure
his
arms with my legs on the ditch of his elbows, ensuring that I’m free to choke the fuck out of him before I shoot his ass.

Red fills my vision; I won’t be satisfied until he stops breathing. Past experience tells me that oxygen deprivation takes approximately 30-45 seconds. I hear my name, I think? But I can’t see his face. This happens when I’m in a snit. I want to stop, but I can’t. I’m missing something important here, but what? I hear my name again. I focus real hard, and then just like that, I’m fighting the urge to hurt. Whoever it is, isn’t fighting back. Why wouldn’t they fight back?

“Come back to me, Venessa.” The voice is soothing, and when it registers, I’m immediately ashamed.

I don’t want
him
to see me like this. I loosen my grip, all the fight leaving me instantly. Get up, Venessa. Walk away, now. Better yet, run as fast as your fucked up legs can carry you. You aren’t fit to be in public.

“Venessa, enough. Look at me,” he demands, and I have no choice but to comply. When I do look at him, I am so embarrassed. I can see my hand prints around his big beautiful throat. “Keep looking at me. I’m going to let go now, I see you want to run, but don’t. Stay with me” he says, I want to tell him to fuck off.

No one tells me what to do; no one gets close to me. But I can’t. The truth is, I don’t want to leave. I’ll stay here forever, if he just keeps talking to me.

“I shouldn’t have snuck up on you and I deserved what I got. Won’t happen again. We’re cool,” he says, and the most ridiculous thing happens.

I start laughing. I’m laughing so hard, that the more I try to stop, the harder I laugh. I may have even snorted, for Christ sakes. I just choked out my shadow/partner, who I’m still straddling, and I can’t stop laughing. Where’s my gun? When you find it, shoot me with it, kay?

“I need you to say something Venessa,” he says, and I can’t formulate a thought. My current state of affairs is awkward to say the least. Should I get off of him?

“I had my Skulls in, so I didn’t hear you. I also don’t like to be surprised up on, or touched,” I blurt out. Whoa. Where the hell did that come from?

“I know. Max told me. This, right here, is my fault,” he says, and just like that, it’s not as weird anymore.

“Um, sorry, let me get off of you,” I say, mortified, and also mourning the loss of his lap. I turn to stand, offering a hand to help him up, but he surprises me instead.

“I was wrong,” he says.

“About what, exactly?”

“You,” he says simply.

“Care to explain?”

“You can take care of yourself, but you shouldn’t have to. Actually, now you don’t have to, but yeah, you’re ah, impressive,” he stutters. I swear he’s blushing, but that’s probably just the blood coming back to his head.

“Thanks, but now that we’re in this together we have each other’s backs, yeah? Isn’t that how this partner thing works?”

“We’ll talk about that later, but you have me now.
I’ll
have your back”

“And I’ll have yours. Isn’t that what I just said?”

“No. Your job is to keep doing what you’re doing, and to share information. My job is to protect you, and use that information to my advantage,” he states, and I kind of want to choke him again.

“Um, no.
We’re partners.
” I air quote it for effect

“I ain’t disagreeing with you. We are partners in
some
ways, but in some ways we’re
not,
” he says, and I feel like this argument is getting away from me.

“We are either partners in all things, or you can go protect someone else’s body,” I spit out, and wow did that come out wrong.

“I’m protecting
your
body, so deal with it.”

“I’ve been protecting my own body since I was eighteen.
You
need
my
intel.
You
need
my
resources.
You
need
me.
” 

“
I
do need
you,
” he growls at me. “But…
you
need
me,
too,” he finishes softly.

“I don’t need—“

“Yes. You do.”

How his arms got to be around my shoulders, I’ll never know, but I do know that if he kissed me right now, I wouldn’t do a thing to stop him. If I knew how, I’d even go first. I’ve never kissed anyone before, and I want him to be the first. Desperately. Like mountain climb his body desperate.

“You’re right, I do,” I concede. When I look up at him, I realize I have absolutely no idea what we’re talking about anymore.

“Listen,” he says, not making any attempt to move. “My job is to protect, not be protected. You have to work with me here. This is new for both of us, it’s gonna take time,” he says, while his hands are rubbing circles on my shoulders. I wonder if he knows he’s doing it.