Read Bruises of the Heart Online
Authors: J. J. Nite
Bruises of the Heart (3 page)
I may not have been saying anything, but the voice in my head wasn't letting me forget it, either. Other than him moving way too fast, there was something else that made me feel like another shoe was going to drop. I just wanted to be ready to catch it if it did.
Tara's voice broke into my thoughts. "Hey, you've been really quiet. What's going on?"
"Nothing. I was just thinking about Will," I said.
Tara smiled at me in an understanding way. Even though she was a terrible gossip, she was truly a romantic at heart and she was reveling in this new love of mine. Maybe more than I was. "Aw, you guys are so cute. He's always waiting for you outside of class and grabbing your hand. He must really like you, because he is so attentive. I'm not sure that I would like him hanging around as much as he does, but I'm not you," she finished.
"He's not around any more than Noah ever was," I said a little defensively.
"I know, but somehow it feels different. Do you know what I mean?"
I looked at her, wondering how much she could read in my eyes. I forced my face to remain passive because I did know what she meant. Tara was my best friend, but besides my mom, she was the last person on earth I wanted to tell my present concerns to. Especially since I was doing my best to ignore the voice in the back of my head, getting louder and more insistent by the day, that something wasn't quite right with my relationship.
I just shrugged in answer to her question, then turned my attention to Ms. Thomas and tried to take notes to keep my grade from slipping too far. The downside of spending so much time with Will was I had a lot less time to do my homework and study. Will was insistent we give each other our undivided attention, but I couldn't help feeling I was giving way more than he was.
I let my eyes wander around the room and noticed Noah looking at me. He gave me a half-smile, then refocused back to the front of the room. I continued to stare at him longer than I should have before I glanced back at my notebook. Too many questions were tumbling through my mind, but I hurriedly pushed them to the back of my head and decided to deal with them later.
"What are your plans this weekend?" Tara asked as the bell rang.
"Hanging out with Will. What are you doing?"
"I was going to see if you wanted to go shopping on Saturday. Come on, we haven't done anything in weeks."
"I'll talk to him and let you know. I don't know if he's planned anything specific," I added hastily.
Tara looked at me like she didn't know me. "Since when do you need his permission to do anything?"
"I don't need his permission. I just don't want to ruin any of the plans he might have made is all," I said.
I could tell Tara wanted to say more, but just then Will came up and put his arm around my shoulders and leaned down for a quick kiss.
For the rest of the day Tara remained quiet
â
so unusual for her. It started to make me nervous. I was so used to her talking. What was even more unsettling was her constant and intense scrutiny. I was sure she could see all of my uncertainties and I was becoming more panicky by the second.
I was so grateful and relieved when the final dismissal bell rang, I was almost weak. I gathered my things as quickly as I could and then left class before she was able to corner me.
I was almost running by the time I made it to the doors leading to the student parking lot when a hand caught me by the arm. I turned around, dreading the discussion to come, and was struck silent by a pair of ice-blue eyes.
"Why are you in such a big hurry? Have a big date to get ready for?" Noah grinned at me.
I couldn't seem to form a coherent enough thought to answer him. I missed him and the way he teased me so much that it hurt. His hand slid down my arm and squeezed my hand before letting it drop.
I reflexively gave him a smile and I knew without being told this one reached my eyes. I could feel it radiating through my whole body. Then I thought I would turn to ice when a hand closed around my upper arm in a painful grip.
"I've been waiting for you in the car," Will said, giving me a smile that made me nervous.
I saw Noah's eyes flash to Will's face and then back at mine. I knew he saw more than I wanted him to. I forced my lips to turn up, but knew it didn't look the same as it had just a few moments ago. I was also trying to not wince at the pain of Will's grip. "Sorry, I'm just running a little late today. We can go now," I hastily added, not wanting to stay where Noah could see anything else.
"Hey, I don't think that we've met. I'm Noah Daniels." He stretched out his hand toward Will.
"Will Prescott." He let go of me to shake Noah's hand, then slipped his arm around my shoulders. My fingers started to tingle now that the blood was flowing back into them. I wondered if I would have a bruise.
"Nice to meet you, Will. When did you and Tori start seeing each other?" Noah asked.
"It's been a couple of weeks, Noah. Don't tell me that you didn't know, either. This school is too small and the gossip is way too accurate for you not to have known," I interjected.
"Yeah, well, I was just wondering. You take care, Tori. See you guys around," Noah said as he turned and walked out to the parking lot with one of his friends. He glanced back once and I saw concern cross his face in that moment.
"Come on, let's get going," Will said, urging me out the door.
Nothing else was said until we were in the car and on our way to the cabin. The wait for him to say something was making my stomach hurt, and my arm was still throbbing a little as well.
"So that's your ex."
"That's him."
"Hmm, I expected someone bigger the way people talk about him at school. I didn't see anything all that special about him," said Will.
"He's really nice. Noah also plays three sports and everyone knows him," I said before thinking about it.
I looked at Will from the corner of my eye and saw his face had frozen into an intense mask of dislike and anger. My stomach clenched in reaction and I swallowed hard. I scrambled to think of something else to say that would divert his attention enough for him to forget about Noah and what I said.
"So what are we doing this weekend? Did you have anything planned for us?" I finally asked and chanced a look at him.
His face was once again its beautiful self and I breathed a sigh of relief. It was always easier to be with Will when it was just the two of us. Will was a little jealous and I tried not to give him any reason to be, but I think meeting Noah face to face, combined with my comment, had been a little too much in one day.
"I thought about taking you to meet my parents on Saturday, but only if you want to. Maybe you would rather hang out with your other friends," he said.
"No, I would love to meet your parents. What time on Saturday? I'm only asking because Tara mentioned something about wanting to go shopping. It's been a while since we hung out," I added by way of explanation.
"If you would rather go shopping with your friend instead of meeting my parents then go right ahead. I thought that you liked me and would want to meet my family, but maybe I was wrong."
I felt guilty for mentioning the possibility of shopping with Tara, even though I wasn't sure why. It was really hard sometimes to know what to say. He made me happy, so I would try and make him happy as well.
"Of course I like you and I do want to meet your family. I was just thinking that maybe I could do both is all, but forget about the shopping. Tara and I can do that some other time. I would much rather spend time with you and get to know your family," I said.
He smiled in response and reached over to hold my hand. Will really did make me happy, and as long as it could just be the two of us I was sure we would stay that way.
"You'll need to wear something a little less casual, and don't wear a sweater. Especially that blue one. It doesn't look good on you."
He knew the
blue
sweater was my favorite, but all I could do was nod. I don't want to upset him again, I thought to myself as I rubbed my arm. The voice in the back of my head was screaming at me to pay attention and open my eyes. I just wasn't sure what I was supposed to be looking for.
****
Meeting Will's parents was easier than I had imagined it would be. I always got nervous when I had to meet new people, but his parents appeared to be really nice. His mom didn't say a lot, so I assumed she was just really quiet. Will was a lot like his father
â
charismatic, confident. It wasn't really a surprise to me why they didn't always get along.
We all had lunch together, and then Will and I went for a walk around his town. He introduced me to a few people we ran into, but there weren't a lot of people around.
We left his house and got back to the cabin in time for dinner. Will stayed and we watched TV for the rest of the night. He left in plenty of time to get home before his curfew.
I went to bed with the intention of trying to get a good night's sleep. But, for the second night in a row, my dreams were disturbing as I slipped into unconsciousness.
I was in school, trying to push through the crowds in the hall, but I couldn't get anywhere. I was scared and trying to get away from someone, but I couldn't get through the bodies pushing in on me from every side. The colors were all bright and blending together in an unfocused manner. The only thing in focus was a hand that reached through the crowd and pulled me out of the crushing mob.
I felt safe again and comforted in the circle of protective arms that cradled and shielded me from the oppressive bodies. I looked up and saw Noah's face, but in my dream he was glowing with light, like those pictures of angels always surrounded by light.
And then, out of the crowd of bodies, another hand reached for me and grabbed me roughly by the arm. I was being dragged away from Noah, from the place where I was safe, back into the chaos of the hallway. As I lost sight of Noah, I tried to call out to him, but I couldn't make a noise. I turned to look at the person who was pulling me into the darkness, but his face was in shadow inside the hood of the black sweatshirt. I whipped my head back to try and see Noah again through the bodies, but he had disappeared into the crowd that was once again surrounding me. I was pulled backward and I stumbled. As I started falling, I gasped.
Suddenly I was back in my room, sitting up in my own bed, trying to get my racing heart back under control. I took in great gulping breaths and noticed tears running down my face. I wiped them roughly away with the cuff of my sleeve, trying to remember why I should be crying.
After punching my pillow into an acceptable shape, I flung myself back on my bed and tried to grasp the parts of the dream still eluding me. Why had Noah been there? Who had been trying to pull me away from him? And why hadn't I known anyone else in the school hall?
The more I thought about the dream, the more frustrated I became. Maybe all of those questions floating around my head on Friday had produced this dream. I just wished it would have a better ending or, better yet, not make another appearance.
I was grouchy the next morning from lack of sleep and the questions that continued to haunt me concerning the dream. My mom noticed I was less than happy, but didn't comment
â
probably for the best. After all, I didn't want her to ask too many questions right now. I needed time to get my head wrapped around everything first, if that was even possible.
She left a little while later to go down to the house for the day. My grandmother had asked her to help haul things out of the barn she used as her project center. It was literally a fire hazard and past due to be cleaned. This also meant I had about six hours to myself.
I didn't want to analyze my dream anymore, so I decided to get busy on some long overdue homework. Not an exciting Sunday afternoon, but if I didn't get something accomplished, Mom was going to flip when progress reports came out in a few weeks.
The phone rang a couple of hours later, and I was thankful for the reprieve. "Hello?"
"Hey, Victoria. What are you doing?" Will asked.
"I'm currently wading through some of the homework that I've been ignoring. What are you doing?"
"Well, I was hoping to be able to stop by and see you for a little while. My dad and I got in to it again and I was just really hoping that I could seek refuge with you for a while," he said.
"You can come over whenever you want to. I will happily be your refuge." I smiled into the phone.
"Great. I'll be over soon. Maybe I'll bring my work, too. It could use catching up as well," he said, sounding relieved.
"I'll see you in a bit then," I said and hung up the phone.
I piled some of my books up on the coffee table and tried to concentrate on the English essay I was supposed to be writing. Thoughts of Will kept intruding, however, and soon I gave up on it. I wondered what he and his father had fought about his time. They were always arguing and it never seemed to me to be about anything really important, but it was obviously important enough for them to argue about.
Before long, I heard his car pull up out front and I got up to open the door. Usually when Will came over after a fight with his dad, he was fine by the time he walked through the door. Today he actually looked upset, and I felt my concern for him grow. "Hey, was it really bad?" I asked as he pulled me into his chest for a crushing hug.
"Yeah, it was. He's just so unreasonable sometimes that I can't stand it."
"What were you arguing about?" I asked, pulling him to the couch.
"I would really rather not talk about it right now. I left before we resolved anything, which means that before long I'm going to have to talk to him again. I actually walked out in the middle of his speech. That's definitely not going to make him happy," he said with a half-smile.
"Well, you can stay here as long as you like," I said, then leaned in and gave him a kiss. It lasted longer than I thought it would, but came to an abrupt halt when the shrill ringing of Will's cell phone penetrated into our consciousness.
He leaned back and answered his phone. Apparently he didn't appreciate what the caller was saying, and I had a fairly good idea who it might be. I sat down on the couch and turned the TV on in order to give Will some privacy. He walked across the tiny living area of the cabin and leaned against the kitchen counter. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I could tell Will was getting upset, and I hoped he wouldn't stay in a bad mood for very long.
He snapped his phone shut, then came to sit beside me on the couch. I didn't say anything at first, thinking maybe he needed a moment to calm down. I heard him take a deep breath and then blow it out in a whoosh.
"Was that your dad on the phone?" I ventured a guess.
"Why do you want to know?" he asked with a stiff edge to his voice.
I looked at him, hoping he was getting himself back in a calm frame of mind, but I saw hardness in his eyes that hadn't been there before the phone call. I hesitated a moment longer before answering him. "I was just wondering."
He threw his hands out to the sides, and one hit the side of my face. Pain radiated out from the point of contact and my head started to spin. My hand flew to my cheek and I tried to sink deeper into the couch. I looked at him with fear and confusion.
Will blinked and the anger left his eyes. Surprise replaced it as his hands came up in front of him. "I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that. My father just made me so angry, andâ¦" He stopped. He reached his hand out toward me again and I retreated to the far corner of the couch. "I'm sorry if I hurt and scared you. It won't happen again. I promise. I'm so sorry. Please forgive me," he implored.
I didn't know what to do. I liked him so much, maybe even loved him, and I wanted to forgive him for his impulsive action, but there was this little voice trying to be heard.
I reached my hand out to Will with much trepidation in my heart and the screaming in the back of my head, warning me against forgiving him. I forcefully ignored it and allowed Will to pull me into his arms. He tenderly kissed my face, his lips cool against the heat and sting that lingered where he had slapped me.
Once again, that voice was trying to get me to listen, telling me something wasn't right with what was happening. I didn't want to listen to it. I wanted everything to be okay and to just forget about what happened. Will had apologized and said it wouldn't happen again. After all, it had been just an accident. I wanted to believe him. I needed to believe him.