Broken Things (Faded Photograph Series) (4 page)

Nora momentarily considered the request. “Yeah, I guess I can. I mean, Steve said you and Jack were fairly serious about each other at one point. I’m sure you’re curious about him. I know I would be.”

Allie replied with a little nod.

“He’s had a tough life,” Nora began, “although it was pretty much his own doing as far as I’m concerned. But everyone makes mistakes…it’s just that for whatever reason, Jack can’t get past his.” Nora packed plates into the dishwasher. “I think his downward spiral began after he met his ex-wife, Roxi. From what I’ve pieced together over the years―” Nora quickly scanned the room, obviously for little ears. Seeing her children weren’t around, she continued. “His ex-wife seduced him, although it’s Jack’s fault as much as it is hers.”

Allie worked to cover her surprise.

“Anyway, Roxi ended up pregnant. Jack was warned not to marry her, but he kept insisting he had to ‘do the right thing.’ Six months later, Logan was born and about eight months after that his wife took off, leaving Jack with an infant to take care of.”

“I-I’m sorry to hear that.” Allie stared at a plate on the counter. Her heart filled with empathy for Jack.. How had he ever gotten himself in such a predicament? The Jack Callahan she’d known was a morally upstanding man concerned about his Christian testimony.

Had her departure really wounded him so deeply?

Of course not. She wouldn’t blame herself. If he had wanted to, Jack could have contacted her. He knew her address and phone number.

“After the divorce,” Nora continued, drawing Allie from her reverie, “Jack got custody, but his parents primarily raised Logan until he was about five years old and Mom Callahan was diagnosed with cancer.”

Allie grimaced. She’d always been fond of both Mr. and Mrs. Callahan. “Is she dead?”

“Yes. Mom went quickly. Dad had a stroke and died a few years later. We still miss them but take comfort in the knowledge their with the Lord.”

Allie replied with a rueful grin. She remembered the older couple as being warm, caring people, devoted to Christ.

“By that time, Steve and I were married, so we took Logan in when Jack worked weird shifts. Sometimes I feel like Logan’s one of my own because it wasn’t until years later that Ronnie was born.”

“It’s a blessing that Jack had so much help from his family.”

“We were glad to do it. Logan was one of those sweet, loveable kids, easy to have around. But I will say this, as much as Jack worked, he did manage to attend all of Logan’s birthday parties and sports functions all the way through high school. The one thing he wouldn’t do, though, is watch Logan perform in various programs at church. Then after Logan chose to attend a Christian college, Jack refused to help him with tuition.” Nora gave Allie a pointed look. “
That
made me angry. Still does. The guy has money. He could have paid Logan’s way through school if he wanted to.”

“Aunt Nora, Dad’s not a Christian and therein lies the problem.”

Allie whirled around to see Logan, leaning against the doorjamb with his arms folded in front of him. It gave her something of a start to see him. He looked so much like Jack did thirty years ago, same dark eyes and courageous grin.

“The passage of Scripture comes to mind that says the things of God are foolishness to unbelievers,” Logan said. “Everything we do to honor the Lord is foolishness to Dad―like my job, for instance. Dad is forever telling me to ‘get a real job.’”

Allie shook her head, ready to protest. “Your father is a believer, Logan.”

“A lot of people can talk the talk, Mrs. Littenberg. I see it happen in my youth group all the time.”

“No.” She stepped toward him.“When I knew your father, he was serious about his faith. I wouldn’t know the Lord today, if Jack hadn’t shared his beliefs with me.”

Logan’s brown eyes narrowed suspiciously, so Allie recounted the story...

Chapter Three

Jack remembered. Clearly.Too clearly.

Lying on his back in bed in the darkness of his bedroom, he rested his forearm across his eyes. After work tonight he’d consumed several beers, hoping to dull his senses and perhaps he’d succeeded in that respect. Except he hadn’t been able to stem the memories. They came forth in droves.

Allie. He never thought he’d see her again. Against his will, Jack recalled the last time their paths had crossed―it had been the day she told him goodbye and walked out of his life. September 5, 1969.

“Don’t go, Allie.” He’d just come off a double shift only to arrive home and find her in the front yard, ready to spring for the airport.

She flicked strands of her long blond hair over one, slender shoulder. “I have to go, don’t you see?”

“No, I don’t see.” He placed his hands on her upper arms and pulled her close. “Allie, I love you. Marry me. I’ll make you happy. I promise. We’ll have a great life together.”

She stepped backwards, out of his grasp. “I can’t.”

“Why?” His heart knotted painfully.

“Because...” Taking a deep breath, Allie looked upward momentarily before bringing her gaze back to his. “I don’t have a high opinion of marriage, Jack. Look at my parents and step-parents...what did marriage do for them? It didn’t last, and now my mom’s dead―”

“Marriage didn’t kill her,” Jack said, trying to understand the comparison. The woman had died of a ruptured brain aneurysm. Allie had told him her mother complained of a terrible headache that morning. When she returned home from school, Allie learned her mother was gone.

“Maybe marriage did kill her,” she’d replied on a sour note. “All the arguing she and my stepfather did would kill anybody.”

Jack shook his head, trying to clear the confusion. “Hold it. Didn’t you once say your mother and her husband loved each other?”

“Sure, but who needs their kind of love? Love that hurts...that maims.”

Jack softened. “It’s different with believers, Allie.”

“Maybe, but I’m not ready to commit my whole life to somebody. I’ve got to find out who I am first. I’ve got to get my head together. Taking this job with my dad in California―”

“Don’t kid yourself. You can get your head together and still be my wife. Everything you need is in God’s Word, not California.”

With a wag of her head, Allie let him know she wouldn’t be persuaded.

Jack clenched his jaw against the mounting disappointment. “I thought you loved me.” The comment was but a whisper on the early fall breeze.

“Oh, Jack...” Allie closed her eyes in apparent remorse.

“Were you lying to me all this time?”

“No.” Her sapphire eyes now snapped to attention. “Not lying. I just...”

“Just what?”

“Please understand.”

“I can’t!”

“Well, I can’t either. And I can’t explain it. All I know is I’ve got to go. I’ve got to get out of here.”

“Then you don’t love me.”

She swallowed hard. “I’ll write to you.”

“Don’t bother!”

“You don’t mean that, Jack. I know you too well.” Her gaze hardened to blue ice. “But suit yourself.”

With that she’d turned and walked away, down the sidewalk, across the lawn, and into the waiting taxi. His pride wouldn’t allow him to do anything but watch the vehicle pull away.

Time after time, days and months later, he thought about contacting Allie in California. However, it wasn’t him who had the problem with marriage. It was
her
. He prayed fervently, begging the Lord to work in her heart, change her mind, and Jack looked forward to the day when she would return, tell him she was sorry, that she wanted him back. But the day never came. The truth was she didn’t love him. And the acknowledgment hurt more than the gunshot wound he’d once sustained in the line of duty. The assailant’s bullet had torn the bone and flesh, but Allie’s rejection had lacerated his very soul.

Enough reminiscing!

Jack peeled back the sheets and shot up out of bed, heading for the kitchen. Reaching the cupboard, he rummaged through it until he found a glass.

“Dad, you okay?”

“Sure. Fine.” Standing at the marbled island in which the sink,, he flipped on the faucet. “Just needed a drink of water.” He gulped down several swallows. “What are you doing awake at his hour?”

“Thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself.” Jack grinned.

Logan threw him a dark glance, and Jack chuckled.

“Hey, I need to talk to you about something that happened tonight.”

“Oh?” With narrowed gaze, Jack considered his adult son reclining on the plaid sofa in the adjacent living room. He knew he hadn’t been a good father to him, even though he’d tried. But sometimes things just don’t work out despite a man’s best intentions. So three months ago when Logan asked to share his apartment because he was thinking of getting married and wanted to save a few bucks, Jack consented. He figured he owed Logan that much―even though he’d expected the worst. After all, Logan had every right to be angry―just as angry as when he was a teenager. But he wasn’t. Of course, he had a point to prove…

“What’s up?” Jack leaned against the counter.

Logan stood and strolled to the half-wall dividing the rooms. He reminded Jack so much of himself―the way he once was―that it hurt at times to even look at him.

Like now.

Lowering his gaze, Jack stared into his water goblet. “What’s on your mind, kid? Spit it out.”

“That woman at Uncle Steve’s tonight...Mrs. Littenberg―”

“Littenberg?” Jack brought his head up sharply. “Is that her last name now? Littenberg?” He produced a curt laugh that sounded spiteful to his own ears.
Littenberg...so that’s the name of the guy she fell in love with. The guy who was better than me...

“Dad?”

Jack refocused on his son. “What?”

“Mrs. Littenberg told me how she became a Christian. She said you led her to the Lord.” Logan tipped his head and his brown eyes filled with suspicion. “Is that true?”

“Hard to believe, isn’t it?”

Logan brought his chin back, incredulously. “It’s true?”

“Yep.” Jack could barely believe it himself.

“But―”

“But I don’t act like a believer? Is that what you’re going to say? Well, that’s true too.”

“Why?”

“Why…what?” His frown deepened.

“Why…why didn’t you tell me? All this time…” Logan shook his head. “Dad, I don’t get it.”

“Look, I stepped out of the circle of Christianity a long time ago after I realized prayer doesn’t work and faith isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

Logan shook his head. “Aw, Dad…you’re so wrong.”

“Yeah, well, before you pass judgment, walk a mile in my shoes, okay?

“I’m not passing judgment. I want to help you.”

“Don’t waste your time.” Jack held up a forestalling hand. “Besides, this topic’s not open for discussion. There are just some things better left alone and this is one of them. As for
Mrs. Littenberg
,” he fairly sneered, “she had better mind her own business from now on.”

“Dad, talk to me. I want to understand.”

“Drop it, Logan.”

The warning hung between them until finally the younger man backed down.

“Fine. Whatever you say. Sure, I’ll change the subject.” He paused in thought, pursing his lips. “Uncle Steve told me that you and Mrs. Littenberg were a pretty hot item once upon a time. He said you two were―to use his words―‘in love.’”

“I thought you were changing the subject?”

“About your faith.”

Jack moaned, feeling the muscles in his neck tighten.. “Your Uncle Steve’s wrong.
We
were never in love.” He turned on his heel. “And this topic’s not open for discussion either. Good night.”

Jack moved away from the sink and started toward his bedroom. He’d told the truth. He and Allie never loved
each other―
it was only him. He’d loved her more than anything, the sun, the moon, the stars, the earth, his family, his job...his very being! But she hadn’t shared his feelings. Instead, she’d left him for a lousy job in California and married some guy named
Littenberg!

* * *

Marilee Domotor stood in the choir loft as the rest of the members filed into place. To her right, she could see bald-headed Mr. Tearly behind the organ and his slim wife, Sandra, at the grand piano stationed next to him. Strains of
A Mighty Fortress is our God
filled the large, modern sanctuary and its balcony. Marilee couldn’t help scanning the congregation in hopes of seeing Logan. She hadn’t seen him since school let out Friday afternoon. He hadn’t even called. Had he’d lost interest in her―in them? Logan Callahan was a hard man to read. Sometimes he seemed so brave and confident of God’s will and at others, he was reticent, almost fearful of taking those next steps of faith. Like an engagement. Marriage. To a certain degree, Marilee understood his hesitancy since Logan had told her about his former fiancée and his parents strained relationship and divorce. Even so, it was hard to be patient.

Marilee squared her shoulders and pushed aside her troubled thoughts as the music director took his place just in front of the podium. He lifted his arms and the members of Parkway Community Church opened their music binders then opened their hearts and mouths in song to the Lord.

When they reached the chorus, joy and hope filled Marilee’s soul as it always did when she sang this song. To think the Lord could use her―or any of His children―never failed to humble her.

Broken things.

Broken things.

Our God still chooses to use broken things.

“
Break Thou myself,” oh, make my heart sing,

For God can use this broken thing…

They finished the piece, harmonizing on the last few notes, and tingles flittered down Marilee’s spine. Perfect.
May You be glorified, Lord
, she prayed.

With the number completed, the music director led the congregation in a hymn, while the choir members gracefully exited the loft and headed for the practice room where they deposited their music. Next they made their way through the lobby and into the sanctuary.