Authors: Carrie Cox
The shame was overwhelming. Here I was, sitting in front of a guy who’d had his career snatched away from him, struggling through pain each day to just walk around. Something I took for granted.
Tears swam in my eyes.
I wanted to do what Jack said. I wanted to live in the present, and I thought I had been doing so well until tonight. I hadn’t expected all these old feelings to come to the surface. The cravings were so tempting. It was overwhelming.
The reason I was so devastated tonight was because I was so disappointed in myself, and the guilt was tremendous.
I didn’t move. I didn’t even dare look up at Jack. He knew everything now, my deepest secret, the thing I was most ashamed of.
I could hear his heart beating steadily, and I pushed myself closer, breathing in the warm scent of him.
Right now, I was not thinking about tomorrow, or the fact that I could be about to make the biggest mistake of my life. I just wanted to be close to him, even if it was just for one night.
I gathered my courage and reluctantly pulled away from him. I angled my head so I was looking directly at him. I licked my lips. “You don’t despise me for keeping this a secret?”
“It’s not my business,” he said. “And it isn’t anything to do with the person you are now.”
I shook my head and tried to wipe away my tears. I must look such a state. I didn’t really know the person I was anymore.
Then I looked at him again and realized how hard he was trying to help me. I could see him searching for the right words — words that would comfort me — and the fact that he cared, that he was so kind and so worried about me, made me break out in fresh tears.
I turned away disgusted with myself. Why did I keep crying? Jesus, I was such a wimp. I savagely wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.
“Okay, that’s enough true confessions for tonight. I’m sorry I woke you. I’ll leave now,” I said and got to my feet.
Jack stared at me as if I was crazy. Then he reached up a hand, entwined it in mine and pulled me forward towards him gently.
“Don’t go,” he said.
In that moment, any resistance I might have had left melted away. All my earlier determination to resist him and keep our relationship professional faded in an instant.
I reached out my other hand and trailed it along the raspy stubble on the side of his jaw. He moved his head to the side so his lips grazed the pad of my thumb, and he kissed the palm of my hand.
It felt like an electric shock shot up my arm, and I actually gasped. I would never understand how my body reacted to him like this. He kissed my palm and it felt better than all the other kisses I’d had in my life.
I wasn’t a virgin. Hell, I’d been a twenty-something woman living in Miami for the past few years. I’d partied hard and slept with guys who had appealed to me. I’d always enjoyed sex, but I’d never responded like this before. I’d always been the one in control.
This was the point of no return.
I needed to do this.
I leaned down, feeling brazen, expecting him to pull away at any moment, but he didn’t.
I moved my mouth closer to his, and I paused only an inch away. I could feel his hot breath on my lips as he waited. His beautiful dark eyes were burning into mine.
I couldn’t hold back. I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips against his. Gently at first, and then harder.
I felt his hands encircle my waist, and he pulled me onto his lap as his tongue flickered over my lips and deep into my mouth.
It felt so good.
His hands grasped the hem of my gown and pulled it slowly up over my thighs. His hands were hot against my skin as the fabric slid up easily.
For a moment, he paused, his large hands resting on my thighs as he stared into my eyes. Was he having second thoughts? Was he going to stop? Oh please no, don’t let him stop.
I knew he wanted me. I could feel his erection hard beneath me and it was all I could do not to press myself down on him. Why was he hesitating?
Then his hands cupped my backside and squeezed, pulling me closer to him. I pushed myself down, feeling his hardness beneath me. I ground my hips against his, desperate for relief.
“Do you want me to touch you, Kristina?”
His voice was so low, I felt the vibration all the way to my core.
His gaze traveled downwards, lingering over my breasts before he moved a hand slowly along my inner thigh. Oh God. I was so close already and he hadn’t even touched me there yet.
“Where would you like me to touch you?” he whispered.
As he said the words, his finger traced the edge of my panties and a ripple of pure pleasure flooded me. I was trembling.
“Uh… there,” I said, blushing. I’d never been really comfortable with talking dirty.
He gave me a lopsided grin that told me he knew exactly what I wanted.
His finger rubbed the lace over my folds. I let out a breathy moan and pushed myself against his hand, desperate for more.
He kissed my neck, letting his tongue taste my skin before he nibbled on my earlobe. “Not so fast,” he said. “We’ve got all night.”
Usually I might have agreed with him. I liked it long and slow as much as the next girl, but right now I felt possessed. I wouldn’t be happy until I had him inside me.
I opened my thighs wider and wiggled my bottom, hoping to tempt him.
He groaned and the sound was so erotic my stomach muscles clenched in anticipation. I leaned forward to kiss him, needing to taste him again. His tongue delved into my mouth and I melted. I had never been kissed like that before.
I felt his fingers shift as he pulled back the lace fabric of my panties. In super slow motion, his fingers moved towards my core. He used one finger to lightly trace along the edge of my wet folds. He repeated the movement up and down, up and down, barely touching me, yet every nerve in my body stood to attention. I was so primed. So ready.
His finger stiffened as he moved it down again. This time he let the tip of his finger dip into my opening. He only allowed it to enter me an inch before he pulled out again. I wriggled on his lap, needing more.
“You’re so wet, Kristina,” he said. “So wet for me.”
I couldn’t reply. I was too focused on the sensation of his finger entering me for the second time. This time a little deeper.
A gasp escaped my lips as I felt the heat build between my legs. Oh my God. He’d hardly touched me and I was so close. My legs were trembling and my breath was coming hot and fast.
The pad of his thumb brushed over my clit and my hands fisted in his hair. The movement of my hips was beyond my control. I ground against his hand as his finger dipped again into my wetness.
He circled my clit, making me moan with pleasure.
“You feel so good,” Jack said. “I love how wet you are. I want to fuck you so badly.”
I looked into his eyes as I rubbed myself against his hand, desperate for friction. His tanned skin was flushed. His eyes were fixed on mine and his pupils were dilated, as if he couldn’t get enough of me.
I was still looking into his eyes when he slid his thick finger all the way inside me, and just like that, I couldn’t hold back. I felt my mouth open in surprise as my internal muscles clenched and I came around his finger.
“Oh, God, Jack,” I breathed, holding onto his shoulders as the pleasurable waves crested through me.
After I got my breath back, I slid off Jack’s lap and held out my hand.
He took my hand in his, and I smiled down at him, shyly. “Shall we go in the bedroom?”
The grin he gave me sent tingles all over my body.
He stood and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close so I could feel every long lean muscle of his body. I could feel his erection tight against my belly, and although I’d only come a moment ago, I felt desire flood through me. As amazing as that had been, it wasn’t enough. I needed him inside me.
We made our way slowly to the bedroom, each step interrupted with kissing and caressing.
When we finally made it to the bedroom, I felt unexpectedly shy.
Jack lowered his head to kiss the soft spot between my neck and shoulder and then pushed the strap of my gown out of the way, hungrily kissing my skin.
I let the other strap fall from my other shoulder and took a shaky breath. This was scary. According to my google search, Jack had been with models and actresses, and I didn’t think my body was going to compare favorably to theirs.
At least I had on decent underwear. I’d picked out a black lace bra and panty set to go under the dress. It was pretty skimpy. The black lace bra was strapless and barely contained my breasts.
I held my breath as I shimmied a little, letting the gown fall to the floor. It caused my breasts to jiggle, and Jack groaned. He moved his lips lower, and his teeth grazed my erect nipple through the lace. I arched my back to give him easier access as he pushed the lace aside and his tongue flicked across my aching nipple.
After licking and sucking my other nipple, he placed his hands on my cheeks and leaned down to kiss me with furious passion. I reached my hands behind his head, clutching his hair, pulling him closer. I couldn’t get enough of him.
As he pulled away, he nipped my lower lip. “I want to watch you undress.”
I glanced at my dress pooled on the floor by my feet.
“Everything off,” he said, staring at the too small lace bra that was barely containing my breasts.
I swallowed and reached a hand behind my back to unhook my bra. As the lace fell from my heavy breasts, I was rewarded with a deep moan from Jack.
“Christ, Kristina. You’re beautiful.”
It gave me confidence to take the next step. I hooked my thumbs around the elastic of my panties and eased them down. I didn’t look at Jack’s face, but I could see his chest rapidly rising and falling. It felt fantastic to know I was having that effect. He wanted me.
“Get on the bed.”
Wow his voice sent shivers through me… So deep and thick with desire.
I sat back on his bed. My heart was beating furiously.
He took a step towards me and then another. All the time I was holding my breath. When he paused at the foot of the bed, I reached for the band of his sweatpants. Pulling them down, my lips found his chest and I let my lips glide along his abs. The combination of his hard muscle and smooth skin drove me wild. I’d wanted to do that for ages.
I pulled his pants down to his knees and inhaled a shocked breath at the size of him. He moved away shoving the pants off, and stepping out of them, he came towards me.
I felt my internal muscles clench in response, and I couldn’t take my eyes off his thick manhood. Oh, God, I wanted him.
He yanked open bedside cabinet, and after fumbling about for a few seconds, pulled out a condom.
I shuffled back against the pillows as he crawled up the bed towards me. His eyes burned into me.
He held himself above me and I gasped as his hot, hard length brushed against the wetness between my thighs.
He lowered his mouth to mine and kissed me deeply, his hardness pressing against my folds. I sighed with pleasure and my hands travelled down to wrap around his thick length. As I stroked, his hips jerked in response. He wanted this as much as I did.
I waited as he slipped on the condom, then I wrapped my legs around his hips, pulling him to me, and his hardness slid against my wet folds. I shivered with pleasure as the tip of his cock nudged my clit. Then gripping himself with one hand, Jack edged himself inside of me.
“Christ, Kristina… you feel so good.”
Jack’s eyes stayed focused on mine as he slid deeper into me. His eyes were hooded and I felt his breath hot and fast on my cheek.
“Is that okay?”
“Deeper,” I said, putting my hands on his ass and squeezing him closer. “More.”
He inched further inside me, stretching and pulling, filling me completely. Then he turned his attention to my breasts, sucking my nipples until they were tight, pink peaks.
When I had adjusted to his size, he started to move in and out of my slick core, slowly at first, then building speed.
I felt the familiar heat growing in my belly and rolled my hips, sliding up to meet his tempo. He groaned, a low rumble against my chest, which sent pleasurable shivers along my body.
He kissed me then, his tongue thrusting into my mouth and I kissed him back, desperate for more of him.
Breathing heavily, he thrusted hard.
“Jack…” I was so close. I could feel the delicious tension building deep within me.