Broken Surrender (8 page)

“I’m sorry. I never imagined that we’d…I
mean that tonight…damn it.” He stepped back a few paces and
breathed in deeply, trying to get his body back under control.

“It’s okay. I didn’t plan that either, but I
don’t regret it. If you had protection I wouldn’t have stopped,”
she admitted. “I’m not ashamed to admit I want you Silas.”

“Thank God,” he teased. “I was beginning to
think I’d lost my knack.”

She swung at him, but he dodged the hit. “So
what now?”

Silas stepped closer and tipped her head
back so that she had to look at him. “I wouldn’t have let this go
all the way without protection, sweetie. I want you to know
that.”

She smiled at him and nodded.

“I know you’re attracted to me, but Sarah, I
need to ask you a very serious question.” He paused as her nose
wrinkled up, “It’s not a bad one. I just…Jeremy and I have talked
in the past about seeking out a ménage relationship, and I know
it’s unconventional, but I need to know if you’re attracted to him,
too. I don’t want to pursue this relationship without both of us on
the same page.”

~ ~ ~ ~

Silas’s question caught Sarah off guard. She
never imagined he’d be so blunt about the topic, especially
considering the current situation. Now that he’d put it to her
straight she had to make a decision. All or nothing.

“I don’t know Jeremy very well…”

He nodded, but remained quiet.

“It’s not that I’m not attracted to him, I
mean, you’re both sexy as hell,” she said. Silas grinned looking
too damn satisfied for his own good, “Bossy as all get-out, too.
What about Jeremy? Have you asked him? Is he even interested in
me?”

“Are you joking? He’d be here now if he knew
where I was. Hell, I think it was damn near love at first sight for
him.” Silas joked.

“Whoa now. I’m not ready for love—”

“Slip of the tongue. I meant to say lust at
first sight.” Silas hurried to correct himself, and grinned
sheepishly. “Better?”

“I can handle lust, but I’m not in a good
place right now. Love would probably just complicate it more. Could
you live with it if I said I just wanted to take it day by day?
Maybe get to know him better before I give a definitive
answer?”

Nodding, he kissed her, “You can have all
the time you need, baby. As long as I know there’s interest there,
and that you could possibly be open to having more than one man at
a time.”

His words hit her like a brick, and heat
coursed through her veins. He hadn’t been speaking sexually
necessarily, but the implications of such a relationship really
became reality in that moment. If she dated both of them, she’d
most likely sleep with both of them.

Two men at once? One after the other? Did
they alternate or what? Questions began flooding into her brain one
after the other, but she couldn’t bring herself to ask them. It was
almost too much to think about.

“Sarah?” he was frowning down at her, “What
was that thought? It looked serious.”

“Uh, nothing. I guess I just got a bit
overwhelmed at the idea that both of you are interested in me.” She
said quickly.

“Why wouldn’t we be? You’re a gorgeous
woman. You’re also funny, smart, tough as nails…” He cocked his
head and seemed to stare into her soul. “Is this about your back?
Are you worried we wouldn’t want you because of your injuries?”

She turned away and took a seat on the bed.
“There are scars…”

There was a heavy moment of silence, and
tension filled the space between them. She was afraid that he was
going to bolt out the door at the reminder that she was damaged,
but instead, he dropped to his knees in front of her and captured
her hands in his.

“Sarah Bryant, you could have scars from the
top of your head to your toes and still be the most beautiful woman
I’ve met. The fact that you’ve survived grievous injuries and come
back stronger, and fought to walk and live again just makes you
more attractive in my eyes. My own version of Wonder Woman.”

“You make it sound much grander than it is,”
she protested. To know that he saw her that way warmed her soul,
but that didn’t mean she could see herself through the same rose
colored glasses. “It’s a lot of exercises, hot baths, and cold ice
packs. Waking up in the middle of the night with muscles so tight
it feels like someone ran a bowstring down my spine. Trust me, I’m
not much of a superhero then.”

Concern filled his blue eyes, and he wrapped
his arms around her, insinuating himself in between her knees and
resting his cheek against her chest. He was quiet for a moment and
then spoke. “Listen.”

Frowning down at him she laughed, “To
what?”

“Your heartbeat. That tells me what a
warrior you are, love. The fact that you’re alive and here for me
to love is all that matters.”

Emotion clogged her throat, and for several
minutes, they remained in that position without saying a word, just
holding each other closely and enjoying the experience. When he
finally shifted his position, it was to run his hand up under her
shirt, but this time, it was in the back, and she went rigid.

“What are you doing?”

“You said you have scars. I want to know
what you’re so scared of.” His fingertips grazed over the puckered
skin that she knew was still a shiny pink color, and she shivered.
No one other than a medical professional had touched her injuries
yet. A giggle slipped through her lips and he stopped. “Are you
ticklish?”

“No, I was just thinking that no one other
than my doctors and physical therapists have touched my scars, and
then I remembered that you’re a medic. It struck me as funny. I got
an image of you in a lab coat with a stethoscope on.” She said
still laughing.

His eyes narrowed and one eyebrow arched.
“You do realize that playing doctor with me won’t be a laughing
matter, right?”

“I sure as hell hope not.” Humor and desire
combined to make her feel lighter and freer than she had in her
whole life. “I promise I’ll try not to ask, what’s up, doc?”

Unable to hold back her laughter, she fell
back on the bed, rolling with mirth at her own joke. Silas began
laughing with her, and before long, they’d both worn themselves out
and were snuggled together on the bed, mussed, but fully
clothed.

“I should probably get home. Jeremy’s
probably already texted my phone a dozen times,” Silas said
despondently.

Sarah nodded against his shoulder where her
head rested comfortably. “Is he a worrier?”

“Not so much these days, but when I first
got back, I had some trouble acclimating. I’d disappear for hours
to be alone, and it always freaked him out. One of our high school
buddies committed suicide back in 2007. He’d just come back from
Iraq, and he couldn’t deal. I think Jer knows now that I’m not so
bad off, but he still worries.”

“It’s good to have someone worry about you.
It means they care.”

Silas lifted his head and smiled. “Pot meet
kettle. I’ll remind you of that when you get snippy over your back
hurting and I make you ice it.”

“As long as you’re holding the ice, I won’t
complain,” she threw back.

“Don’t tempt me, love. My restraint is
weakening as we speak,” he said, his eyes running down the length
of her body. The heat in his gaze was almost tangible, and she
flushed under his scrutiny.

“Well just because we can’t go all the way
doesn’t mean we can’t fool around a bit,” she offered, stroking her
fingers over the buttons of his shirt. She really wanted to release
them and see what his rock-hard chest looked like. She had memories
from overseas of golden, tanned skin and dark-colored hair that
pointed like an arrow to his groin. Even then, she’d had a fantasy
or two about tracing that line of hair to the Promised Land.

Silas took her hand and kissed her
fingertips. “Soon. I promise you. But I want you and Jeremy to have
some time to adjust to each other and see if this could be a real
thing between all of us.”

“And if not?” she asked tentatively.

He took a deep breath and shrugged. “We’ll
cross that bridge if we come to it. For now, let’s just do as you
asked and take it one day at a time.”

After another heart-stopping kiss, he said
his goodbyes, and she walked him to the door. Peering through the
curtains, she saw him outside waiting on the sidewalk until she’d
thrown the deadbolt, and she waved as he got in his truck. Just
before he pulled away, he blew her a kiss, and even from a
distance, she could see the desire in his eyes. It matched the lust
still coursing through her veins.

Quickly tossing the remnants of dinner into
the trash, she flipped off the television and lights and hurried to
her bed. Her vibrator was still tucked in the back of her
nightstand drawer even though she hadn’t used it at all in the last
two years. With a silent prayer, she flipped the switch, and cursed
when it remained still and quiet in her hand.

“You’d better just need batteries,” she
hissed at the device. Emptying the TV remote of its batteries, she
quickly restocked the phallic toy and squealed with delight when it
buzzed to life.

Her body responded for the first time in two
years, and she couldn’t seem to touch herself enough. Every pinch
and stroke reminded her of Silas’s big, hot hands, and sweetly
seductive mouth. She wished things had been different and he’d
stayed the night, but she also knew it was for the best that they’d
stopped. It wasn’t like they’d been best friends for years. They
had to get to know each other, and that was damn hard when a girl
was flat on her back.

After several quick climaxes, she sighed
with exhaustion and put the toy away. Sleep came just as quickly,
and for the first time in weeks, she slept well.

Jeremy’s nerves were shot. Two days ago,
Silas had come home from spending the evening with Sarah and
basically gave him the keys to the kingdom. He’d told him that he
had free reign to seek her out and get to know her, and she’d even
agreed to consider a ménage. The problem was, now he had to swallow
his apprehension about pushing her too far too fast and ask her
out. Usually, asking a woman out wasn’t a big deal, but for some
reason, with Sarah, it mattered more.

The idea of her declining, or deciding that
she didn’t want both of them, was unsettling, and he couldn’t shake
the worry from his head. He’d delayed seeking her out for a couple
days hoping that his nerves would settle. Instead, his anxiety had
grown into something almost unmanageable.

So, when a tow call had come in that would
take him into her neighborhood, he figured he’d better just bite
the bullet and ask her out. The worst case scenario was her saying
no, but Silas assured him that wouldn’t happen.

Her phone rang several times before she
picked up, and she sounded sleepy. “Hey Sarah, it’s Jeremy
White.”

“Jeremy, hey. How are you?”

“I’m good. Did I catch you at a bad
time?’

“No, I just dozed off after lunch I guess.
It’s good that you woke me up. I still have work to do.”

“A lot of work, or a little bit?”

She laughed. “Enough. There’s not all that
much to do at the moment; Claudia and I are still trying to figure
out how to work fluidly with each other.”

“Good, then maybe you can sneak away for the
evening? I thought I’d take you out to dinner.”

“Oh, um, yeah sure. That would be nice. What
did you have in mind?”

“Unfortunately, there’s not much in Stone
River. We can hit up the diner or the ice cream parlor, or if
you’re feeling adventurous, we can make a trip into Austin for
something new and exciting.”

“Oh, new and exciting, huh?”

“Yep, I’ve heard tell there’s some
new-fangled restaurants selling fish, and tacos, and even steak.
I’m sure they don’t cook it right, but hell, it’s worth a shot,
right?”

Her laughter was addictive. He could get
used to listening to it.

“Sounds like new and exciting is the way to
go. What time should I be ready?”

“I’ll take off a bit early and leave Mickey
in charge of the truck. That way, we can get you home at a decent
hour. Let’s say five?”

“Sounds good, see you then.” She hesitated
and then said, “And Jeremy?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad you called.”

The click of her hanging up was barely
audible in comparison to his heart racing in his ears. She wanted
him to call. She was glad he’d asked her out. And damn it, she’d
said yes! Feeling like he’d just walked on the moon, he drifted
through the last couple of hours of his day and rushed home to
shower and change. A quick text to Silas telling him about his date
received a blunt, “About damn time” response.

By the time he picked Sarah up, he was
convinced that they’d finally found the right woman to share, and
he barely knew her yet. It was going to be a struggle to keep his
feelings to himself until she was ready to hear them.

Tonight, her dark hair was braided and
tucked under somehow, and she wore a pair of black jeans and a
slinky, satiny, green top that made her green eyes brighter. She
looked and smelled good enough to eat.

“Raspberries?” he asked, once they were
buckled in his truck.

“What?”

“You smell like raspberries.”

She smiled and nodded. “My favorite scent. I
have body wash, lotion, and body mist in the fragrance.”

He nodded even though he had no idea what
body mist was. “It suits you. Fresh and sweet.”

“Aw, so you’re in Prince Charming mode
tonight, huh?” she teased.

“At your service m’lady. Just don’t look for
me after midnight; I’ll turn back into a frog.”

She giggled and shook her head, “Wrong
fairytale, but I get the picture. So tell me, did Silas make you
call and ask me out, or was that actually your idea?”