Broken Sound (16 page)

“I’m not asking you to take it,” Davey said.  He walked up to Anna, letting his body press against hers.  “I’m giving it to you.”

“Davey...”

“Let’s put it in the backseat for now,” Davey whispered as his cheek touched Anna’s.  “I don’t want to waste a second of our date.”

Davey took the guitar and placed it on the seat.  He walked around the car, leaving Anna with a few seconds to herself.  They were spent trying to calm her heart and, surprisingly, her body.  She couldn’t remember the last time she had been so turned on.  She was leaving with Davey and knew there was a good chance they’d end the night between the sheets.  Normally, thinking about being with a man would make Anna shiver, unsure what to do, how to do it, or any of the nonsense that came with a one night stand or a relationship, but with Davey, she wanted it.  She needed it.  Her body ached for it.

When Davey got in the car, he started it and took off in a matter of seconds, forcing Anna to grip the door and the console. 

“What’s wrong?” Davey asked as he smiled.

“Trying to impress me?”

“Nope.  Don’t want to be late.”

Davey didn’t say another word as he drove to their date.  Anna half expected him to take her to the restaurant she worked at and when they started heading in that general direction, she grew nervous.  Really nervous. 

But Davey kept going, almost to the edge of the city until he finally parked his car at what looked like the dumpiest pizza place Anna had ever seen.  The windows were grimy with terrible handwriting on the glass, announcing specials that had to be a decade old. 

“This is it,” Davey said.  “Hope you don’t mind.”

It looked ready to fall over.  Then she noticed windows at the top of the building, obviously apartments, and she smiled.  This building was someone’s home.  It had purpose and meaning.

“I like it,” Anna said.

“You mean that?  We can leave...”

“What’s the story?” Anna asked.

“What do you mean?”

“Why are we here?  There’s a story.”

Davey nodded.  “Yeah, there is.  When we first played here, we pulled up, running on fumes.  We actually asked the owner for gas and he gave us a container he used for his lawnmower.  Then he spotted us a pizza, claiming we were too skinny.  We explained we were a band and he didn’t laugh.  He wished us luck.  I’ll never forget it.  Ever.  When we signed our deal and started making money, we came back and returned the gas, bought a pizza, and signed a poster for him.  Each time we’re in town, we eat here.”

“Must be nice for him to see you guys,” Anna said.

Davey closed his eyes and swallowed.  “Tony Jr. runs the place now.  Big Tony is still here but he’s got Alzheimer’s.  He has no clue who I am.”

Anna touched Davey’s hand.  “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.  He doesn’t come down to the pizza place much.  But we still come.  It’s a special place for us.  And hopefully for you.  This can be your chance to explain who you are, Anna, without worry.  I won’t judge you.  I won’t tell you what to do.  I’ll listen.  Always.”

Anna smiled and Davey left the car, hurrying to her side to open the door, but was two seconds too late.  He took her hand and they went into Big Tony’s Pizza. 

They took a seat and Davey waved at a man who Anna assumed was Tony Jr.  That’s all he needed to do and Tony Jr. did the rest.

When he brought two drinks over, Davey asked about Big Tony.

“Rough day today,” Tony Jr. said.  “But they all are.”

“Tell him I was asking about him,” Davey said.

“I will.  Yesterday, he talked about you guys.  Must have stuck in his mind from when he saw you last.”

“What did he say?”

“Said something about some wild kid named Nick who tried making pizza once.”

Davey laughed.  “That was Rick.  We came in one night and Rick was a little drunk and tried to make his own pizza.  Didn’t end well.”

Tony Jr. patted Davey’s shoulder and walked away.

Anna waited, hoping Davey would talk first.

He did.

“You talk first,” he said and smiled.

Shit.

“What do you want to know?” Anna asked.  “I explained already...”

“Start over.”

“Okay.  My ex-boyfriend gambled and did drugs.  I thought I could save him, you know, like an idiot.  He spent all our money, he maxed out my credit cards through purchases and cash advances.  Now I’m running the risk of losing my house, which is my grandparents house.  It’s the only house I’ve ever wanted to live in.”

“You’re not an idiot,” Davey said.

“I am.  Because it wasn’t just about saving Eddie... it was something to do.”  Anna couldn’t believe how open she felt.  She never told anyone the full truth.  “I looked forward to the next tragedy because it took me away from my life.  I figured if I had Eddie messing everything up, I’d always have an excuse.  I wouldn’t fail at my own life because I wouldn’t face it.”

“That’s crazy talk,” Davey said.  “You’re such a beautiful woman.  And you teach kids music and art.  That’s... so important.”

“I don’t feel important.  I feel foolish right now.”

“Where’s Eddie now?”

“Long gone.  He finally maxed out the last credit card and when he forced me to apply for another one and I got denied, it was time for him to move on.”

“How did he force you, Anna?”

Anna’s bottom lip quivered.  She never told anyone about that night. 

Davey reached across the table and took her hand.

“He had a knife,” Anna said.  “This big pocket knife or something.  And he held it to the back of my head.  Told me all it took was one slip and twist to just... end it...”

Davey’s lip curled and he squeezed Anna’s hand tighter.

“So I listened,” Anna said.  “And he left and never came back.”

“He’s a piece of scum, you know that.”

Anna nodded.

“He’s dying right now,” Davey said.  “He’s dying each day, struggling to find the next person to leech off of.  And it’s not you.  And it will never be you.”

“Yet everyday I’m punished,” Anna said.  “I wake and have to face my decisions.”

“But you wake up,” Davey said.  “Think about Big Tony upstairs... confused, feeling alone, all because of something he can’t control.”

“Fair enough.”

Silence fell between Anna and Davey only to be broken up by Tony Jr. bringing a fresh, hot pizza pie to their table.  Davey put slices on two plates and then folded his hands, resting his chin on them.

“What’s wrong?” Anna asked.

“I guess I need to explain some things.”

Anna smiled.  “I wasn’t going to push you into it.”

“First and foremost, I am single.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Just know it,” Davey said.  “I am.”

“Okay.  The woman you were with at the restaurant... is she...”

“Yes,” Davey said.  “She’s the baby’s mother.”

“And you’re...”

“Perhaps the baby’s father.”

“Wow.  That’s intense, huh?”

Davey smiled.  “That doesn’t bother you?”

“I don’t know.  Should it?”

“I don’t look like an asshole right now?”

“Why would you?”

“Because a woman shows up and says I’m her baby’s father...”

“What’s your side?” Anna asked.

She could sense pain coming from Davey and wanted to be there for him.  The smell of the pizza along with the old dusty smell of the pizza place did something for Anna.  She wasn’t sure what, but for the first time in a long time, she actually believed things were going to be okay.

**

Davey stared at Anna, mesmerized.  She didn’t have an ounce of judgement coming from her. 

“Okay then,” he said as he began to tell the story of Cassy. 

The concert, their hookup (which he didn’t remember), her showing up at the hotel, and then his visit to her apartment.  Finally, he ended it with his meeting with Peter, even down to the details of what Peter suggested.

“You wouldn’t do that though,” Anna said.

“Do what?”

“Pay her like that.”

“I know,” Davey said.  “But do you know why?”

“Because you’re a good person.  And if the baby is yours, you’ll do the right thing, no matter how hard it is.”

“Yeah, but there’s more.”

“Your father?”

Davey felt stunned.  His heart spun in his chest and he cleared his throat.

“Did I say something about my father?”

“You were talking while drunk,” Anna said with a smile.  “I kind of put the pieces together.  You don’t have to say anything about that, Davey.  I just wanted to know... I mean, when Chris came in the room, he thought I had a baby and it got confusing.  Then I sort of let myself be hurt by it.”

“I hurt you?” Davey asked.

“No, I let myself be hurt.  We weren’t anything... we...”

“I’m so sorry,” Davey said.  He hated the way he felt inside.  “I’m not out to hurt you, Anna.  I just didn’t know how to throw all that at you.  We met that night.  I just wanted to have fun.  I wanted to take you to bed but then when you came out of the bathroom... it was like my life made sense.  My life made sense off the stage.  That has never happened before.  The only time I ever felt alive was on stage.  Playing guitar.  Being Chasing Cross...”

“Well, you’re Davey to me,” Anna said.  “That’s what I care about right now.”

“Thank you.”

Davey paused and pointed to his pizza.  Anna nodded and they started to eat.  The pizza tasted great, not quite as amazing as when Big Tony used to make it, but that was a secret Davey would never share with anyone. 

After two slices and two sodas, Davey found the urge to finally finish the story.

“Okay, we’re spilling it all right here.”

“Okay,” Anna said.  “There’s really nothing else to tell you.  I mean, you met Ashley.  She’s my best friend.  We always joked that we’d graduate together, get jobs together, and have families together.”

“Dreams never pan out, do they?”

“Yours seem to have.”

Davey nodded.  He couldn’t argue that.  Even in the earliest days of Chasing Cross, when the band said they would just play for fun, Davey always dreamed of standing on that big stage with thousands of fans cheering for him.

“What happened with Ashley?” Davey asked.

“She started her own business and she got married and had a baby.”

“You didn’t.”

Anna shook her head.  “Maybe that’s why I was so stuck on Eddie.  I was desperately trying to play catch up with Ashley.  Wanting to change Eddie into a man who could be a husband and a father.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Well, I have to admit or at least explain my drunk ramblings the other night.  About my father.”

Just saying
my father
had Davey’s stomach curdling.  He could think it.  He could write it down and hide it.  He could strum it on a guitar.  All of which chased the pain away.  But to speak it.  To get it out... to share it...

It hurt.

Bad.

“The thing is, I can’t remember what he looks like, but I can’t stop picturing him.  I can see his body, the shoulders, the long arms, his legs, wearing a blue jumpsuit.  He was a mechanic so there’s grease stains on the clothes, not to mention his big black boots that were always torn up.  When I get to his face though, I see nothing.  Just black.  Maybe that’s how I remember him.  Black... and gone.”  Davey looked to the counter, watching Tony Jr. throw pizza dough in the air.  “He was there one day and then the next gone.  But it’s what he took with him.  He took money and then they came and took the house.”

“Who took the house?” Anna asked.

“I think the bank did.  He used to either drink or fuck his paychecks away.  Sorry for the language.”

“I don’t mind.”

“He loved to drink and he loved women.  It just went together for him.  I think by the time he finally left, he knew there was nothing left to get out of the house.  The bank came to take it away and he was gone by then.  Probably moving in with the next soon-to-be ex-wife.  I spent my childhood living in hell but in the loving arms of my mother.  We had nothing.  And I mean literally nothing.  We slept in her car for a while, which wasn’t too bad except in the summer.  It’d get so hot at night, she’d put the air conditioning on.  Once, the car ran out of gas.”

“That’s horrible, Davey,” Anna said.  “You deserved better.”

“Well, thanks to the mess we were in, I had no choice but to survive.  And through surviving, I spent time on the streets and eventually I met the guys... the guys that would form Chasing Cross.  I still remember meeting Johnnie and Danny the first time.  Johnnie walking with an old leather jacket on, trying to look cool.  Danny five feet behind him trying to keep up.”