Broken Road (42 page)

“Oh, Riley. How awful.”
 

“I was pretty sure the same thing happened again, so I left the convoy and I went looking for the son of a bitch. It was chaos behind me, and I had no idea what was going to happen when I stepped foot in that house. It could have been booby trapped, but I wasn’t thinking about that. All I wanted to do was put a bullet in the guy that kept killing my buddies. As I get to the house, there’s a lot a smoke everywhere from the explosion and it’s hard to breathe or see anything. I kept my gun pointed and my finger on the trigger. I came up to the side of the house that faced the checkpoint and I almost tripped over something. It was a body. One of the locals. That’s when I heard someone running around to the back of the house and I followed. There were shots fired but the smoke made it impossible to see anything. I took a hit. I took cover and fired back. Then, another explosion hit near the house-a rocket propelled grenade. I think it knocked me out. When I came to, I was sitting up against a wall and I was bleeding. I couldn’t get up all the way but I could sort of make out somebody walking toward me. I
thought
they had a gun but I could hardly see a damn thing. I made my mind up that I was going to shoot before they shot
me
so I made myself stand up, I took a step or two. . .and that’s when I felt someone tackle me. But it was too late. I heard the shot and he fell on top of me. I didn’t know who it was, not at first. I rolled him off of me. I didn’t recognize him at first with all the smoke. But then he opened his eyes and I almost had a heart attack because I realized that it was. . . Captain Jenner.”

Brenda’s legs gave way at that point and she sank to the ground at the sound of the name.

“No!”she cried in a horrified whisper. Riley didn’t even look up. He continued telling his story.

“And I’m confused because I know he must be the guy who tackled me and all I can say to him is ‘I’m sorry.’ The craziest thing was that even with all that smoke and me being shot and Captain Jenner hurt, I knew we had to get out of there. I don’t know how I managed to pick him up but I did just like they trained me and I hauled ass with him over my shoulders toward the convoy. I figured that the medic’s was still back there somewhere and the bomb only got the front of the convoy. I carried him as fast as I could but he was too heavy and I was hurting, and we fell. So, I started to drag him and I saw that there was blood on the front of his uniform and it was spreading and he was losing consciousness. I needed him to stay with me so he wasn’t dead weight. They could’ve killed us if there had been snipers setting up near the scene. I talked to him as I dragged him and he could barely keep his eyes open because he was losing so much blood. ‘You gotta keep your eyes open, Captain.’ I told him. ‘You gotta keep walking, we’re almost there.’ But he didn’t answer so I started to ask him about his family, anything to keep him from dying on me and he was talking about you and the boys. But I could see that it was getting harder for him to breathe. ‘Captain Jenner,’ I said, ‘I need to get you to a medic.’ And all he said to me was, ‘Don’t shoot the boy.’
 
I asked him who he was talking about and he said ‘Don’t shoot the boy
.’
And I said, ‘I didn’t shoot any boy, I shot you. I’m so sorry, it was an accident. It was an accident.’ ‘Boy.’ He said to me and I figured he thought I was going to shoot some kid. It had happened before. Some of them fought too. The insurgents gave them guns and we’d met up with a few. It was awful. But I couldn’t think about that because Captain Jenner was starting to get delirious from losing so much blood. He kept talking about some boy and I kept saying that I didn’t shoot any boy and that’s when I saw him. He was crouching, hiding nearby about 20 feet away from where we were. Close to the house. It was a boy, probably 13 or 14 years old. He was smeared with dirt, soot and blood and he was holding a little girl in his arms. She was hurt and he was holding her out to me. All I could think of was that it was another trap, another distraction, so I reached for my gun but it was gone. The boy was yelling at me and pointing away from us and back to the house. But I couldn’t understand what he was saying. He ran toward us and tried to shove the little girl into my arms. I told him that I couldn’t take her, I couldn’t, but then he shoved her at me one last time and ran back into the house on fire. I hardly noticed I was holding her. She weighed nothing-nothing at all compared to the Captain. I didn’t have time to think so I just bent down and pulled the Captain up with my free arm and started walking away from the house and toward the convoy. That’s when the camera guy found us. I had no idea where he came from but he was there and he started taking the shots. He got in my way and I couldn’t get past him and we were only about 100 feet from the convoy when I heard the explosion. The house exploded. That’s when I told the camera guy to get down and then there was another explosion close enough that it blew us all to hell and that’s the last thing I remember. I lost Captain Jenner and the little girl in the explosion, I guess. I mean I don’t know. No one knows. I was holding on tight, I swear I was and then they were gone and I. . .somehow. . .I woke up. . .alive. But the camera guy woke up first and by the time I came to that picture made it around the world. People were trying to give me medals and they wanted to take my picture, get my autograph. . .” There was another heartbreaking sob followed by silence. Brenda clawed at the pavement beneath her hands. She was certain that she had forgotten how to breathe. She would black out soon, she thought,she prayed,so the pain would stop.

“I just wanted to die. Captain Jenner was gone, the little girl was gone and her brother too. But no one would listen to what I told them. Then, they gave me a choice. I could keep on talking about how I’d killed Captain Jenner and go home or I could go back for another tour, pretend nothing happened and get back on track with my career. So I signed the papers the shrink put in front of me. I signed them. Why not? After what I did to Captain Jenner? I almost shot that kid and his sister because I couldn’t handle what happened to Ricky and the others. That boy
didn’t
have a gun! He just wanted me to help his sister. If Captain Jenner hadn’t tackled me, if he hadn’t taken that bullet for those kids. . .I think about that moment every single day. Killing him or killing those kids? Those were my
choices
? Some people wouldn’t blame me if I’d killed the kids as long as that boy had been pointing a gun at me. But the Captain didn’t want us to have to make that choice. That was the Captain.
He
wouldn’t have been able to live with it if it could be helped. He always talked about making the right choices and walking the right path. Like we were some freaking football team getting ready for the playoffs instead of soldiers getting ready to meet the enemy in a war. We were American soldiers, he said, and that still
 
meant something to people. We did our job but we didn’t disrespect the uniform or the flag while doing it. And we protected those that needed our help. For him, that meant we protected the children at all cost. They were casualties of war, just as much as we were. That’s why he gave me a second chance. He wanted me to believe in myself again. To know that I could still do my job. But what was the point? I killed him and I lost those kids anyway. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it.” He fell to his knees and cried. Brenda saw the gun slip out of his hand onto the wet ground just a few feet away. She reached for it, picked it up and felt the cold hard metal in her hands. Then, she let it drop with a quiet thud. She looked over at Riley hunched over in the falling snow, looking so broken and fragile. Her hands trembled as she reached for Riley and let herself fall apart with him. She held him tightly, comforting him as she would her own child.

***

It was Jon who found them and it was Jon who called the ambulance that took Riley away. After she watched the lights fade into the distance, she sat in his car wrapped in his coat, shivering and wet.

“What will happen to him now?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper as she stared out at the falling rain. She had told Jon everything because she was tired of secrets, tired of pain and just plain tired. He had listened to her speak and hadn’t said a word even when she told him what Riley had done.

“That depends. If what Meagan McGuinnis says is true and if there is a DoD investigation into what happened on that road. . .I don’t know, Brenda.”

“I believe him when he said it was an accident.” She said and tried to keep from thinking back over the details of Shane’s final moments.

“If it’s a friendly fire incident there will still be consequences for everyone involved. You need to prepare yourself for that. More questions, more media, more Meagan McGuinnis.”

“Meagan said that Steve Rappaport took more pictures and that they might change everything.”

“I’d hate for you to get your hopes up, Brenda. It could take a long time for that information to make it to the public and even then it might not be what you want.”

“Riley could have killed those children, but Shane stopped him. How could Riley have known that Shane would tackle him, that he would get in the way? He couldn’t have and he tried to tell them, he tried to tell the truth but no one would listen and then he was too ashamed. Everyone wanted a hero. No one wanted the truth. It’s not fair, Jon.”

“Life’s not always fair, Brenda.” Jon said sadly and she knew that he wasn’t just talking about Riley’s situation. Their eyes met and she could see the longing and pain that filled his eyes. She reached out and took his hand in hers one final time.

“No, Jon.” She said softly. “It isn’t.”

The DoD shut Meagan McGuinnis down before she could flash one of her brilliant white smiles at anyone wearing four stars and a uniform. She didn’t learn this from Jon, whom she hadn’t seen since that night outside of the tv station, but from Meagan McGuinnis herself one day when she appeared at Brenda’s door three months later. Until then, Brenda had been sitting on pins and needles waiting for the interview to air but it never did. During that time,she’d wondered about Riley and tried to resume a normal life, if there was such a thing. The last time they spoke, the night that Jon had arranged for an ambulance to come for Riley, he had told her what she already knew, she had to step away and let things take their course. They all needed time to heal and they couldn’t do that if they were always reopening each other’s wounds. They needed to grieve the end of things if there were ever to be any new beginnings. Jon was right. Life wasn’t always fair. That’s exactly what went through her mind the moment she opened her door and found Meagan McGuinnis standing there.

“Hello, Brenda. Is this a good time?” She flashed a smile and Brenda almost slammed the door in her face.
 

“What do you want?” Brenda’s voice was hard and edgy. The last thing she needed was Meagan McGuinnis prowling around her life again. Things had been quiet, her mother had finally gone back home and her boys were back to their routines. Nothing was perfect but it was progressing.

“Well, at least you didn’t slam the door in my face. Thank you for that.”

“The thought crossed my mind. Why are you here? Are you out of other decent people’s lives to ruin so you thought you’d circle back around and take another shot at mine?” The reporter sighed.

“Come on, Brenda. I thought we’d buried that hatchet.”

“Hardly.” Brenda said as the memories of what Meagan McGuinnis’ ambitions had done to her life swept over her.

“I’m here on a humanitarian mission. Honest.” The reporter looked sincere, but Brenda had no intention of trusting her ever again.

“What is it?”

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Brenda, please. I have something for you.”

“I don’t want anything from you. Now, please, go away.” Brenda started to close the door when Meagan McGuinnis shoved her fingers through the door frame. They got caught in the door. The reporter cried out in pain.

“Shit!” She cursed and stuck the two bruised fingers in her mouth. “ Dammit, Brenda, you almost broke my fingers. Aw, crap! I broke a nail!”

“You’ve
got
to be kidding me.” Brenda didn’t feel an ounce of remorse.

“Fine. I get it. You’re mad. You’re pissed at me. But before you go slamming the door on my hand again, will you just give me 5 minutes to explain why I’ve come to see you?” Brenda glared at the woman who had made her life hell for the better part of a year.
 

“Why should I?” Brenda demanded.

“Because I promised him.”
 

“Who?”

“Riley Favreau.” Brenda stopped cold at the sound of his name. Could it be true? She debated whether to believe her or not.

“5 minutes.” Brenda said opening the door so that the reporter could go inside.

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Just tell me what you have to say.”

“Can we sit down?” Meagan McGuinnis asked still cradling her two bruised fingers in her other hand. Brenda pointed to the sofa in the family room nearby.
 

“Son of a bitch!” The reporter cursed under her breath taking another look at her hand. She winced in pain.

“So talk. You’re wasting time.” Brenda was impatient to know why Meagan McGuinnis had taken the trouble to come and see her on Riley’s behalf.

“Look, Brenda. I didn’t want to come but I made a promise. Riley kept his end of the bargain. He gave me the interview.”

“It hasn’t aired.”

“No and it probably won’t. The DoD shut it down. Something to do with their investigation.” Brenda could tell that Meagan McGuinnis was clearly disappointed but she herself felt nothing but relief. She couldn’t bear the thought of watching Riley recount the horror of that day on the road for millions of people to see.

“Why would you keep your promise?” Brenda watched closely as Meagan McGuinnis looked down at her hands and exhaled.

“I know what you must think of me. . .” She said and Brenda interrupted her.