Broken Hearts, Fences and Other Things to Mend (36 page)

little longer this time.

My heart started to pound. It hadn’t been an accident. Josh

had just touched my hand. And that touch alone made me feel

like every nerve in my body was suddenly wide awake.

A tiny voice in the back of my head was reminding me about

Teddy, about the mourning period. But I was no longer listening

to it. Forget about the mourning period. Teddy had broken up

with me, and this was happening here, now. I let out a breath, let

Teddy go, and before I could stop myself, reached out for Josh’s

hand.

My fi ngers just grazed his wrist, and Josh still didn’t look at

me, but I saw the corners of his mouth lift in a smile. And we

walked like that all the way back to the bonfi re, touching— but

not quite holding— hands.

—-1

—0

—+1

S 267 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 267

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 267

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

“Okay, I’ve got one,” Hallie said, leaning back on her hands

and stretching her legs in front of her. “I’ve never . . . gone

skinny- dipping.”

I looked around the circle, at the faces illuminated by the

fi relight, and tried not to choke on my soda when Reid sheepishly

popped a marshmallow into his mouth. We were playing I Never,

which was technically a drinking game. But since most of us had

curfews— not to mention the fact that nobody had been able to

get anything to drink— we were playing it with marshmallows. If

you had done the thing that was said, you had to eat one.

It was the end of the night, and the party had pretty much

run its course. There were only a handful of us sitting around

the bonfi re under the stars— me, Josh, Hallie, Reid, and a guy

named Brian who seemed to have quite the adventurous life, and

as a result was currently looking a little green.

-1—

I was sitting next to Josh on the sand. I knew my lip gloss was

0—

in place, as I’d taken a surreptitious “bathroom break,” which

+1—

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 268

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 268

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

actually involved going inside, grabbing my purse, and reapply-

ing. Josh had given me his sweatshirt once the sun went down,

and I was already planning on not giving it back. It was a gray

Clarence Hall hoodie, and it felt soft and much- washed. It was

infi nitely cozier than Teddy’s sweatshirts, which had been stiff

and scratchy, maybe because they had been made out of stuff—

like hemp and fl ax— that you could also fi nd in breakfast cereals.

Josh and I were sitting close to each other, and even though we’d

taken a step away from each other before we returned to the

group, I noticed that Hallie kept shooting looks my way, like she’d

somehow picked up on what had happened.

Out of the blue, I’d gotten kind of a weird text from Sophie as

the bonfi re was being lit. She’d asked me where I was, which

made me worry what she’d gotten up to that night. To be funny, I

texted her Hallie’s whole address and added “(the Hamptons J)”

after it. I hadn’t heard from her again, so it seemed like my text

was enough to remind her, however hard she was currently par-

tying, that I was not in Putnam at the moment.

But that was the only thing that had even come close to dis-

turbing the peace of the night. It just felt really magical to be

sitting there, under the stars, the remains of a bonfi re in front

of me, close to a boy who I liked as a friend and maybe liked as

more, his sweatshirt, which smelled like woodsy cologne and

spearmint gum— like him— around my shoulders.

“Okay,” Reid said, rubbing his hands together. “I’ve never . . .

stolen anything.”

I was about to sit this one out, when I looked down and saw

—-1

the hem of Sophie’s shirt. Not to mention the two pairs of

—0

—+1

S 269 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 269

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 269

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

Gwyneth’s shoes. I wasn’t sure where the line between stealing

and indefi nitely borrowing actually was, but I felt like I’d been

sitting out most of these, so I picked up a marshmallow and

tossed it in my mouth. After a moment, I saw Hallie take a marsh-

mallow as well. She gave me a small smile, and Josh nudged me

with his shoulder.

“So what’d you take?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Nope,” I said, smiling at him. “Not telling.”

“Brian?” Hallie asked loudly, turning to him. “It’s your turn.”

“Nnnrgh,” Brian said, looking greener than ever in the fi re-

light. “I’ll pass my turn.”

“Okay,” Josh said, glancing over at me and raising his eye-

brows. “I’ve never kept a secret from someone.” We all took a

marshmallow on that one, though I noticed Brian didn’t eat his,

and groaned a little as he looked at it. Everyone in the circle

looked at me, and I realized it was my turn to ask.

“I’ve never . . .” I started, thinking. Maybe this was my chance

to maybe, indirectly, apologize for what I’d done to Hallie. “I’ve

never hurt someone on purpose,” I said, taking a marshmallow

as I did. I saw Hallie look at me, confused, probably wondering

what I’d done. Little did she understand that she knew all too

well what I’d done— because I’d done it to her.

And maybe she was thinking along those same lines, because

it was her turn next, and she said softly, “I’ve never been hurt on

purpose.” She took a marshmallow then, and so did Josh.

“Whoa,” Reid said. “This game got dark.” Brian grunted in

-1—

response. Maybe Hallie felt this too, because she stood up, brush-

0—

ing her hands off.

+1—

S 270 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 270

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 270

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

“Okay,” she said. “Who wants s’mores?” She widened her eyes

at me, and I knew this was my cue to go inside with her. She

clearly wanted to talk to me about what was happening with Josh.

I wasn’t sure what I would be able to tell her, though, as I wasn’t

sure myself. Unless it turned out that Josh only gave his sweat-

shirts to girls he desperately wanted to date. That would help

to shed some light on things.

“Be right back,” I said to Josh as I pushed myself to my feet,

grabbed my bag, and crossed the sand to catch up with Hallie.

As soon as we were both in the kitchen, Hallie turned to me,

eyebrows raised. “So,” she said, and I noticed her voice was high

and a little strained. “Um, what’s going on with you and my

brother?”

“Nothing,” I said automatically, but then thought about the

zingy way I’d felt when our hands had touched, the way I’d been

aware of every breath he’d taken next to me as we sat close on the

sand. “Well,” I amended after a moment, “I don’t know. Nothing

has
happened, though.”

Hallie just looked at me for a moment. “You’re wearing his

sweatshirt,” she said.

“I was cold,” I said, and she just nodded, but didn’t confi rm

that this was Josh’s one gesture of true love, which was actually a

little disappointing. It would have cleared things right up.

“I just . . .” Hallie started, then yanked open one of the cabi-

nets and took down a package of graham crackers. “I thought I

told you . . . I mean, I thought you said that you weren’t going to

date him.”

—-1

“And I’m not,” I said quickly. “But . . .” I looked closely at her,

—0

—+1

S 271 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 271

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 271

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

and saw for the fi rst time just how upset she really was. “I mean,

would it really be the worst thing in the world?” I asked, my voice

quiet, and I could hear the hurt in it coming through. Because as

far as Hallie knew, I was just Sophie Curtis— why would she have

something against it?

“No! God, Sophie, I’m sorry,” Hallie said, turning away from

me and pulling down a bar of chocolate and a package of marsh-

mallows. When she faced me again, her expression was more

composed. “I just really don’t want Josh to get hurt,” she said, in

quiet, almost desperate voice.

“I don’t want that either,” I said, in total honesty.

“Do you really like him?” Hallie asked, looking at me closely.

I took a breath, about to deny it, say what I’d been saying to

her and myself all along. But I found I couldn’t. It was what I had

realized on the beach. I was done pretending that I didn’t have

feelings for Josh, out of . . . what? Loyalty to Teddy? The sense

that it was too quick for me to be interested in someone new?

Instead of denying it, I just nodded. “I really do.”

Hallie looked away from me, making a pyramid of the s’mores

fi xings, taking a moment before she spoke. “It’s funny,” she fi -

nally said. “But Josh said something to me earlier. About how . . .

he thought you were a really good friend to me. And how he was

glad that I had found someone that I could trust.”

I opened my mouth and closed it, not sure what to say to this.

I knew Josh had only told Hallie this because he thought she’d

confi ded in me. But I didn’t know how to set her straight without

-1—

wrecking the moment. Was this her way of telling me that she

0—

was okay with the possibility of us? “Oh,” I said.

+1—

S 272 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 272

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 272

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

“Who knows what made him say it,” Hallie said with a shrug.

“But . . .” She looked at me, then down again, like she was fasci-

nated with the graham crackers’ nutritional information. “I mean,

he’s right. You’re a really good person, Sophie.”

I felt my breath catch in my throat. It suddenly occurred to

me that maybe this was the moment I had been waiting for,

working for, this whole summer. Was I going to fi nd a better op-

portunity? It was what I’d wanted before I told Hallie the

truth— to get her to see me differently than the person she re-

membered. And I’d done it. Hallie and I were friends. She liked

me and thought I was a good person. What more was I waiting

for?

I took a breath. “Hallie,” I started.

“Sophie,” she said back, imitating my serious tone.

“I . . . should tell you something.”

“What?” she asked, her expression maybe a little wary.

“I . . . the thing is . . .” Even as I thought about how best to

put it, I could feel myself hesitating. What would happen once I

told her? What would happen to our fl edgling friendship? And—

my stomach plunged at the thought— what would happen with

Josh? Was I really ready to potentially wreck all of this?

“Yes?” she asked.

I paused, still torn, not sure what I should do. But was I going

to get a better moment than this? I took a breath and prepared

myself to say it. “Hallie,” I started. “There’s something I have to

tell you—” Before I could continue, though, my phone beeped with

a text that sounded very loud in the quiet kitchen. “Sorry,” I said,

—-1

looking down at it.

—0

—+1

S 273 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 273

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 273

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

Sophie Curtis

11:15 PM

Hi! I’m here!

I stared down at the phone, baffl ed. What was Sophie talking

about? Was she outside my house in Putnam, expecting me to

come down?

At that moment, though, I heard the sound of a car outside,

getting closer, pulling into the driveway, and headlights fl ashed

through the windows.

“Is someone here?” Hallie asked, frowning, as she crossed to

the front door. “If so, they’ve totally missed the party.”

I followed behind her, my heart starting to beat hard. There

was an explanation for this. It

wasn’t—

couldn’t be—

what I

thought.

I stepped out of the house with Hallie and felt my stomach

plunge at what I saw. There was a taxi idling in the driveway.

And standing next to it, bags in hand, was my best friend.

Sophie Curtis— the real one— had just arrived in the Hamptons.

-1—

0—

+1—

S 274 T

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 274

105-56018_ch01_3P.indd 274

10/2/13 7:32 AM

10/2/13 7:32 AM

I stared at Sophie as she paid the driver, trying to somehow

make her presence here make sense. And then I remembered

I’d texted her Hallie’s address when she asked me where I was.

And that she was about to totally blow the entire cover I’d con-

structed for myself.

“I don’t think I know her,” Hallie said in an undertone to me,

as she stared at Sophie. “Maybe she has the wrong address? We’re

up the street from the Southampton Arms, people sometimes

come here thinking it’s the hotel . . .”

I licked my lips, which suddenly felt very dry. I could feel my