Broken Heart 01 I'm the Vampire, That's Why (33 page)

Patrick chose that moment to join us, standing behind me. I don't know if he meant to let me handle Charlene or meant to grab me if I attempted to wring her neck. Either way, his presence was a comfort.

Charlene's whole body quaked like she was getting electric shock therapy. When she pulled her hands away from her head, clumps of blond hair fluttered to the ground. She didn't seem to notice. "My father owned a garage inTulsa . Other little girls had tea parties and played dolls. I had tools and played cars."

My stomach twisted as I watched her fall apart. It was terrible to witness, but I couldn't look away.

Patrick's hands clutched my shoulders and he steadied me. But my emotions were still on a roller coaster ride. Hadn't I wanted Charlene to hurt, too? Oh God. Not like this. The poor soul was losing her mind.

"You ever take apart the engine of a sixty-four Mustang?" she asked.

"No," I said. "I was more the tea-party type."

She nodded. "Yeah. Most girls are the tea-party type." She paced a square. "Don't make me tell. Don't.

I don't want to. Don't make me tell."

"Go on, Charlene," said Patrick in a soothing tone. I realized he was using glamour on her. "It's okay.

You'll feel better. Don't you want to feel better?"

"Yes. Of course. This is the only way to feel better. To explain."

She walked the square, staring at nothing. Watching her made me dizzy, sick. I swallowed the knot of dread clogging my throat.

"That night, when Rich said he was leaving me, I decided he wasn't going to go. So I fixed his car something good. Sure did. I was having contractions. The stress of arguing, probably. So… Rich went off in his car thinking he was going home. And I went off in mine to the hospital knowing he wasn't going anywhere."

She stopped pacing, and looked at me, tears streaking her face. "It was an accident. I don't know what happened. I just wanted him to stay. But I must've… it was just supposed to stop. Get a few miles down the road and stop."

"You… killed Rich." Shock chilled me until my teeth chattered. Patrick's arms wrapped fully around me and he pulled me against his chest.

"That's not what I meant to do," she pleaded. "He wasn't supposed to die." Her eyes blazed in anger.

"It's your fault," she wailed. "If he hadn't wanted you, I wouldn't have fixed the engine. I wouldn't have…

it's your fault! Yours!"

What the hell was wrong with her? One minute she was pathetic innocent and the next she was calculating nymph. Had she always been crazy? Had she teetered on the edge of sanity only to go over it
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when she'd been Turned?

"Charlene," said Patrick. "Wouldn't you like to lie down?"

"Yes," she said, her rage suddenly and abruptly doused. "I'm very tired."

"Drake and Darrius are waiting for you. Do you see them?"

"They're behind you. I'll go now."

She trudged around us and joined the twins. They nodded good-bye and they took Charlene and headed toward the fleet of RVs in the parking lot. I hoped one had a padded room with quadruple locks.

I stepped out of Patrick's embrace and turned to face him. "Does she have the Taint?"

"No," said Patrick. "What she has is a guilty conscience and a fragile psyche."

"How did you know that she… that she killed Rich?"

"I didn't. I realized she was trying to work up the nerve to tell you something important. So I helped a little."

"Could you make her use a donor from now on? I can't stand the thought of her fangs in your neck."

"I'm sorry, Jessica. I won't allow her to feed from me if it soothes your mind."

"Or touch you."

"Or touch me." He smiled. "Are you okay?"

I knew he was asking about how I felt now that I knew Charlene had, accidentally or purposely, caused Rich's death. It was shocking. Horrible. And something I would never tell my children. But knowing why he'd died wouldn't change the fact that he was gone. "I made my peace with Rich and the life we had together. Knowing the truth won't bring him back. And there's something else you should know…"

He waited and I couldn't get my tongue to work. Then he prodded, "What?"

"I've been thinking on it. What happened between me and Rich. Truth is, Patrick, even if he had come home and begged for another chance… it was too late. I was mad and grieving, but I'd already changed inside. Already made room for something different. Something new. What I'm trying to say is that…

okay, what happened sucked. It was painful. And I didn't want to go through it. But no matter how it happened, it was meant to be so."

"You believe that, Jessica?"

"Yes. Because I was meant…" I licked my dry lips, my nerves jumping. "I was meant for you."

He pulled me into his arms and kissed me until I damned near melted. I wished I could give him more than my words. But, for now, we had this moment. And damn, that man could kiss!

When I could think again, I said, "Isn't it interesting that Drake and Darrius were just moseying on by?"

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Patrick smiled sheepishly. "Uh… they were following you."

"What?"

"I asked them to watch out for you. Every time you go somewhere by yourself, you get into trouble."

"I don't need baby-sitters!"

"Yes, you do." He kissed me again, and this assault was far more brutal than the last. Heat licked through me until I felt completely ablaze. I clung to him, meeting his lips, thrusting my tongue against his, and wanting… oh God, did I ever want.

The thing is, I can't always have what I want, especially if getting what I want hurts someone else.

My words to Charlene. My mind wasn't going to give me a break no matter how much my heart wanted Patrick. Damn it. Reluctantly, I broke the kiss.

"I love you, Patrick."

In his silver gaze, I saw truth. Love. Devotion. And I didn't really deserve those emotions. Or Patrick.

Yet, he drew me into his embrace and said, "I love you, too."

"I'm glad," I said, my heartache giving way to dry sobs. "I know it's wrong and unfair to say the words…

because… because…"

"I know,
céadsearc
. I already know."

The ceremony for Ivan and Linda was short and sweet. Then the party swung into full gear and for two solid hours we danced and laughed and remembered what it was like to enjoy life.

We took a short break to see Marybeth blow out the candles on her cake and open her presents. After the last gift was unwrapped, the illusive Damian and his security team shepherded all the kids to my house for the ultimate sleepover, which included junk food, bad movies, and loud music. I suspected there might also be water-balloon wars and food fights, but I was having too good a time to lecture Jenny and Bryan on appropriate behavior.

Until Charlene came to her senses, Patrick and I agreed that Rich, Jr. would stay with me. It was time Bryan and Jenny got to know their little brother. If Charlene would allow it, maybe we could arrange visits for the siblings. I don't know how Jenny and Bryan would see Richie without extensive contact with his nutso mother, but we'd work it out.

For now, my only worry was getting through this slow dance with Patrick. It was killing us to touch each other, to feel so intensely tender about one another, and yet know, in our heart of hearts, that we had no future. Then again, I was the one who believed we had no future. I tell you, I was tired of pondering it.

So, I gave myself up to the moment, to Patrick, and soaked in every glorious second.

Brigid's sudden appearance put a real crimp in my enjoyment. Patrick and I stopped dancing and leaned in to hear what she wanted.

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"Have you seen Drake or Darrius?" she asked. "Damian has lost contact with his brothers."

"First, I am not the D-men's secretary," I said. "Second, who the hell is Damian?"

"I am."

Next to Brigid was the spitting image of Drake and Darrius. I squinted at him and noticed his hair was a touch shorter and lighter than either of his…
brothers
? "No way. There are three of you? You're triplets?"

Damian's brows rose and his lips thinned. Humor flashed in his eyes, but it dissipated like mist exposed to sunlight. I realized this guy wasn't as soft as his brothers. He was different. Hard-hearted. More controlled. But man-oh-man, he was just as beautiful and buff as Drake and Darrius.

Jessica, I don't wish to tolerate your lustful mental descriptions of other men.

Then quit poking in my head.

You're broadcasting it.

I don't lust after them. They're cute, sure. But you're the one I want to fuck.

I felt his hands squeeze my waist so I looked into his eyes. It was painful to watch, that thick desire swirling in his gaze. Then he brought the emotion to me, infused my body with it so that I knew how he felt.

Oh God. It was… beyond lust. Beyond love. So intense. So beautiful. So sad. I almost couldn't stand the roiling emotion, but it was familiar, his need. So, I gathered my own and pushed the energy into him.

And we stood there, oblivious to everyone, and created unquenchable fires that consumed us, ravaged us, but denied us even the smallest pleasure.

"We're… uh, just gonna go," said Damian. "Obviously, you two are busy. Or will be."

Vaguely, I realized Damian had taken Brigid's arm and led her away from us, but I couldn't break away from Patrick.

Patrick's fingers wove into my hair and he tugged my head back. "I want to be inside you so badly right now, I can think of nothing else."

He bit me.

Right there, in the middle of the gym with vampires and humans bebopping around us, and our lust already raging out of control, Patrick sank his fangs into my neck.

It was like having sex in public.

He wrapped me in his arms, and pressed me close. His hard-on slid in the vee of my thighs and pushed against my clit.

My world spun.

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I grabbed onto Patrick as he drank from me and tried to find purchase. But I had stepped off the cliff.

The air rushed around me, my stomach dipped and crumpled as I fell. Lights exploded in my head.

Trembling in his arms, silently giving my submission to him, the orgasm detonated. I went limp, my moan drowned out by the music.

He wrenched away from my neck, his gaze silver fire, and scooped me up.

Within the blink of an eye, he'd taken us outside. In another, he'd flown us to the roof.

Before I realized what was happening, Patrick had taken off my dress, panties, and swords, then pressed his mouth against my vulva. "Jessica," he whispered, his lips erotically moving against my flesh.

"Just this once, I want the privilege of a mate."

"Please," I murmured.

His fangs pierced me, his tongue flicking my clit as he siphoned blood from the most intimate part of me.

If his hands hadn't steadied my thighs, I would've fallen to my knees. As it was, I held on to his skull with quivering hands and tried to keep upright.

Sensationwasn't a big enough word to describe what I felt.
Pleasure
nowhere near covered the phenomenon, either. Erotic energy pulsated, heated, plunged me into pure bliss. It was endless, this indescribable feeling. Good thing I was already dead because I don't think anyone alive could handle this kind of excruciating joy.

The orgasm imploded. I shattered into a million pieces, unable to collect the splinters of the person I'd been.

Then there was Patrick, my beloved mate, picking up the shards, fitting them back together so that once again, I existed.

When I came to, I was fully clothed, sitting in Patrick's lap, his arms wrapped around me, his face buried in my hair.

I loved Patrick. I lusted for him and no other. I would walk the rest of my days alone because I wouldn't choose him over my children and I would never choose another man over him. Though I knew all these things…

Only now, only after this… did I finally understand the concept of soul mate.

"
Céadsearc
," he whispered, "thank you."

"I should be thanking you," I said, trying to find my footing on old ground. There'd been an earthquake in my very soul. I don't think I'd ever feel whole again. Not without Patrick. "That was…" I hesitated. "I don't think there's a word for it."

"There's one," he said, his head lifting. "
Sonuachar
."

Tears shone in his eyes. Diamonds scattered on silver. I gasped, my hands cupping his jaw. "Oh, Patrick." .