Broken & Damaged Love (15 page)

“I can do this” she told herself, but realised she was still biting her lip.

“Come here?” he asked softly.

He pulled her to him so he could plant the softest of kisses on her mouth.

That got her fires burning, and she kissed him harder.

This is what made it the most different. Her father had never kissed her, not like this. This felt real. This expressed love, proper love.

She felt the heat and moistness grow between her legs.

“I need you to touch me,” she said quietly.

“That may require some removal of clothing?” he pointed out.

Tina let out an embarrassed chuckle. She slipped off her knickers, and guided Pete’s hand up her legs, under her dress. The heat grew the closer he got, and he needed him to reach her sweet spot with growing urgency.

She felt like her whole body would burst when his fingers reached the desired location. She leaned her body into his fingers more as he glided his fingers along her silky wetness. 

She buried her head in his shoulder and reached her arms around him. More, she needed more.

She brought her mouth up to his and locked their lips together for all she was worth. Her hunger for him grew.

Their tongues merged and slipped together, his fingers carrying on their merry dance all the while. She brought a knee up to get more friction. He rubbed harder and she had to break off the kiss to groan out loud.

His finger and thumb were now against her bud and were rubbing and squeezing, harder and harder until she cried out his name as she came.

He let her catch her breath, holding her close to him. He nuzzled into her hair, smelling her sweet floral perfume.

“We can leave it there if you want to,” he told her.

“Don’t you bloody dare,” she warned him.

She was riding high on the back of her first ever orgasm, and she didn’t want to stop now. That was extraordinary.

“More please,” she grinned, and even dared to remove her dress.

His eyes went wide at the sight of her slender white body. She was like a beautiful sexy porcelain doll.

Her red hair had come out of its clip, and was cascading around her shoulders. She lowered herself onto the bed, keeping her bra on, still needing something to hide behind.

She quickly pulled the covers over her, but beckoned him over.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go on top?”

“Sure.”

He donned protection and circumnavigated the duvet and pulled it over his back as he lowered himself on top of her. Her legs automatically widened to accept him.

“OK?” he double checked, sure that she must be freaking out over him asserting power in this way.

“Just get on with it,” she uttered, slightly irritably.

Well, that told him! He still entered her slowly and carefully, making sure she was OK. As soon as he was in she was begging for more with her hips.

“As you command m’lady,” he muttered as he thrust forwards.

“Wait,” she suddenly exclaimed.

‘Shit, not now,’ he thought, but held his own counsel.

“Kiss me,” she pleaded.

‘Thank fuck for that,’ he thought to himself, and happily obliged.

She tried to keep her eyes open, to focus on him, but she couldn’t help it. Her rapture demanded she close her eyes. He was making her feel so good; this was so far removed from the atrocities of yore.

He looked lovingly yet heatedly at her as he thrust into her. His passion and love were clearly evident. ‘Safe’ came to mind once again, quickly followed by ‘more’.

Her body took over, bucking and thrashing trying to get more of him inside her, to feel that delicious cock moving, filling her.

She roared as she tightened around him, once more giving in to her climax. It shook her to her very core. She was vaguely aware of his eager thrusts as he too fell over the edge into the abyss of his own orgasm.

Their bodies stilled and they drew ragged breaths, perspiration glistening on their bodies.

“Wow,” she said in wonder.

“Wow,” he echoed.

“So that’s what it should be like?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“Guess?”

“Babe, it’s never felt that good with anyone else.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“No, I mean it. Just wow!”

That earned him a giggle.

“I never thought. I never expected. I didn’t think I’d go through with it.”

“I’m very glad you did,” he said, kissing her.

“Yeah, me too. Thank you.”

“Pleasure’s mine, m’lady,” he smiled.

If he was being honest, he didn’t think she’d go all the way either.

His aim had really been just to get her to lie next to him, maybe with their tops off, and gradually build up her confidence.

But then her impetuous nature took over; the one he loved her for. But she’d surprised them both.

He’d read that people who had been sexually abused often had problems climaxing, which clearly was not the case with Tina.

He wasn’t going to take this for granted though; she had almost run off when he used the wrong pet name. He was sure they’d be other key words, other actions he’d need to stay clear of. He just hoped she’d let him know.

They lay there holding on to each other, revelling in the closeness. This too was new for Tina. That feeling of togetherness, of being two parts of one whole.

She felt she had recaptured something she hadn’t known was lost. Part of her felt sad that her view of sex had been so brutally marred before, but the larger part told that part to shut up, and enjoy the wonders of now.

They eventually got up and had some more Cava, as Tina felt a double celebration was now called for.

By the time they both crawled back into bed she felt really quite tipsy. Pete cuddled up behind her, and she was soon softly snoring in the sanctuary of his strong arms.

It was soon time for Jake and Frank to move in. Their relationship was blooming, and Tina was ecstatic to see her best friend so happy. She was really excited about their flat share.

Pete joined them in a flat warming party, and the gang all came along too. There wasn’t much room, but they all squeezed into the flat, they ended up sitting on the floor, drinking, listening to music and laughing.

Fiona had split up with her boyfriend, and Tina found herself being a shoulder for her to cry on for the first part of the evening, but once they all got going she relaxed into the party atmosphere.

Jake nearly decked one of the lads for daring Frank to passionately kiss Pete in a round of Truth or Dare.

Pete declared, “Hey, I’m not scared. I’m happy with who I am,” as he puckered up to kiss Frank.

It was one of the most pathetic displays Tina had seen, and Jake also noticed the complete lack of passion.

Still, as Frank sat back down he sidled up to him and put his arm around him, clearly marking his territory.

Tina just pecked Pete’s cheek as he retook his place next to her.

“Nice try Romeo,” she said snidely.

“Well, I couldn’t unleash my full charm, could I? I’d hate to make you two jealous,” he winked indicating her and Jake.

They partied long into the night, and some people crashed on the lounge floor whilst others left.

Pete should really have gone back to his parents’ over the summer, but he ended up staying with Tina. He only had one more year left of his undergraduate course, and they all decided he could share Tina’s room. He paid her the money his parents would have paid rent anywhere else, and the extra money coming in made sure they were all well fed.

Of course, Tina also managed to squirrel some more away into her precious savings too. And it helped Tina feel less of a gooseberry. Jake and Frank were pretty full on sometimes.

That next year of university was tough; the intense studying really hit them hard.

One day as they were alone in the flat Jake sat next to Frank on the sofa. His hands were steepled in prayer in front of his mouth, and his breath whistled as he blew out a large sigh.

“This isn’t working out Frank.”

Poor Frank felt like he’d been hit in the stomach. His eyes were wide with panic. He could swear his heart stopped beating.

“It’s not?” he asked, voice quivering.

“No. What do you see in our future?”

“I don’t really know. I guess I’d not really thought that far.”

“Well I have. Frank, I’m not stupid. Once you finish this course you’ll need to go onto a postgrad, and you’ll also need to volunteer. I know how much you want to be a museum curator, and I think you’ll be perfect.”

“Not if it means losing you,” he almost cried.

“What? No. Oh, bloody drama queen! Who said anything about losing me?”

“You did!”

“Mouth closed, ears open. I meant my Law degree. You’ve still got years of studying and hardship ahead of you. Well, if I carry on the path to law so do I. We’re only supposed to be in this flat for a year. How will we afford to live after that?”

“Ummm…”

“Shh…I’m still talking.” Frank made an ‘oo-ooo’ sound before letting his boyfriend continue. “As I was saying, we can’t afford to live. And honestly, I think I’m failing my course. I’ve really been struggling, and my heart’s really not in it. My dad wanted me to become a bigshot lawyer, but that’s really not me. I need to talk to my dad, see if he’ll help, but I’ve been thinking.”

“Uh oh!”

“I’m still in pretty good shape. I could become a Personal Fitness Instructor.”

Frank sprayed as he laughed.

“I’m serious. I know it won’t bring in much, but actually I think it’s what I want to do.”

“Really?”

“Is it so hard to believe?”

“Well, I’m not sure how I feel about you hanging around with other fit men all the time.”

“Jealous much?”

“Yeah, a bit.”

Jake kissed him quickly, “You’re the only man for me.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. And besides, I think most of my clients are likely to be bored housewives.”

“Well that’s OK then,” Frank smirked, kissing him back.

Jake decided this was a conversation he needed to have face-to-face with his dad.  So he waited for Christmas, and took Frank with him. Frank was obviously nervous.

This was suddenly a massive step. He and Jake were planning a future together, and he was meeting his parents.

“Hi sweetie.” Jake’s mum wrapped him up in the kind of bear hug only mothers can give as soon as she opened the door.

“Oh, and you must be Frank,” she declared as she gave him a gentler hug.

“Hi Mrs Patterson.”

“Oh, Helen, please.”

Frank gave her a boyish grin as she hurried them inside.

“They’re here,” she called out to her husband.

He appeared in the hallway and gave his son a manly hug and shook Frank’s hand.

“Pleased to meet you.”

“Pleased to meet you too sir,” Frank said meekly.

“Harry,” he corrected.

Jake led the way up to his old bedroom so they could dump their bags. He took the opportunity to give Frank a reassuring hug.

“I told you they wouldn’t bite,” he said.

“Yeah, but I didn’t expect them to be that friendly. Your parents are so cool. Are you sure we’re meant to be sharing this room?”

“Of course. They know we share a flat, you know.”

“Yeah, but there’s knowing, and inviting it under your own roof.”

“Look, not everybody’s parents were brought up in the dark ages. I’m sorry your dad was, but my folks are free thinkers. But we should get back downstairs before we’re missed.”

But he made time for a quick smooch, just to remind Frank just how much he loved him.

“I’ve got a nice Cottage Pie on the go. It’s nearly ready. I thought you boys would like a nice home cooked meal. I’m sure he exaggerates about what he eats,” she confided to Frank.

“Look at him, he’s still thin.”

“Actually, he cooks really well,” Frank admitted. “He seems to be able conjure anything out of nothing.”

Helen beamed with pride. “Well, of course he had a good teacher.”

They all sat around the wooden kitchen table by the range as Jake’s mum dished up the meat and potato dish. The whole meal and atmosphere was warm and homely.

They started off chatting happily, and got to know each other. But Jake decided he had better get it over with quick. “Dad…?”

“Yeeees…?” He knew that tone; he wanted something.

“What would you say if I quit law?”

“Quit? Why would you want to do that?” He was surprised, but not angry.

“Well, I’m just a bit shit at it really.”

“Not terribly eloquent son, but I suppose it’s honest. I presume you have something else in mind?”

“Well, um, yeah. I kinda want to become a fitness instructor.”

His dad nearly choked on his Cottage Pie.

“A…a fitness instructor? I see. Why this sudden change of heart?” he asked, raising one eyebrow in Frank’s direction.

He was starting to wonder if he should like this boyfriend of his son’s.

“It’s not his fault dad. Frank’s studying to be an art museum curator.”

“And what’s that got to do with the price of eggs?”

“He has years of studying ahead of him, and well, I’d like to earn some money.”

“As a fitness instructor?”

“Yes.”

“Once Frank qualifies he’ll be able to earn enough, so it’s only until then.”

“And you can support the two of you for years on the earnings of a fitness instructor, can you?”

“No. Not exactly.”

“I see,” he stated, having a bad feeling his bank account was going to get drained.

“I think we need to discuss this further later. Let’s review your options?”

“Fine.” Jake huffed.

“Who’s for dessert?” his mum said breezily to try to lift the sudden drop in mood.

She quickly brought out Jam Roly Poly with custard.

“Thanks, that was delicious,” Frank said as he dropped his spoon in surrender.

“I just can’t eat any more.”

He leant back and rubbed his belly as he gazed on at the leftovers in his bowl.

“Oh good,” Jake cheered, grabbing his bowl and polishing off the dessert.

“Pig!” Frank chided.

Helen started clearing the plates and Frank jumped up.

“I’ll help you,” he said a little too eagerly.

Taking his cue, Jake took his dad into the sitting room to have that chat. As he passed, Jake felt Frank squeeze his hand.

“Good luck,” Frank whispered. Jake pulled a ‘worried’ face.

Clearing the plates turned out to be easy; clear plates, rinse, place in dishwasher. But Helen poured them each a glass of wine and sat back down at the dinner table so get better acquainted, leaving father and son to slog out their arguments on Jake’s future.

“Now before you get all het up…” Jake’s dad held out his hand in a gesture of ‘calm’ as he took a seat in an armchair.

“I just want to make sure you’ve thought this through, that’s all.”

“Of course I have.”

“So you and Frank are that serious?”

“Yes. Dad, he’s the one. I simply can’t imagine my future without him in it.”

“Your future as a fitness instructor?”

“Don’t start.”

“Alright alright. It’s just I thought you wanted to be a lawyer.”

“Not really dad. That was more what you wanted me to do.”

“Oh, but you know I would have supported you whatever profession you chose.”

“Yes, but I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so I sort of went along with it. And I’ve tried really hard. But I’m just not cut out for it. I can just about keep up with the studying, just. But it’s the people, they drive me bonkers. I really don’t fit in. And if I don’t fit in I’ll never make all the right contacts.”

“So let’s say I agree with your decision to stop studying law. For now at least. I fully respect you want to start earning money. Eventually I’d like to see some of mine come back.”

“Dad!”

“I know. The chances of you repaying me are somewhere between slim and none. It still leaves us with the sticky wicket of you earning enough to support the pair of you. How much do fitness instructors earn?”

“I could probably bring home about £20,000, at a push.”

“And you’re going to pay board and lodgings with that for two people?”

“What else could you do? I’m not saying no, just think about the alternatives. Please, just humour me.”

“I could be a stripper. That would pay well.”

“Don’t be clever. I’m just asking.”

“I’m good with people, and I’m good with fitness.”

“You’re set on this, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I’ve found a course. I can complete my level 2 diploma in just six weeks. And start earning right away.”

“How much?”

“£1,500.”

“Well, I supposed if I’m not going to have to pay any more tuition fees.”

“Thanks dad.” He launched himself at him in a hug. “I’ll make you proud of me.”

“Jake, I already am,” he said with a sudden lump in his throat.

And so it came to pass; Jake got set up as a fitness instructor whilst Frank carried on with his studies, and completed his course. He even managed to set up an internship.

Jake was incredibly charismatic and he soon had a waiting list of people wanting him to help them get fit. He had a firm but fair approach, and was able to push people to get the most out of their exercise without sounding like a drill sergeant. As his clients started to get results so the word of mouth spread.

Tina really knuckled down with her studies that year too, and got through her AAT with flying colours. Her employers gave her a bonus for getting her award, and also a modest pay rise.

Pete finished his undergraduate course with a 2:1, and so was all set to take his next steps to becoming a counselling psychologist.

That year they all had something to celebrate. They all felt as if they were making ripples in the pool of maturity.