Broken Branch (8 page)

When she stepped out into the bright sunlight, Trudy couldn't keep her eyes open long enough to see what had become of Broken Branch. The others were standing in a semicircle around her. She saw their faces in flashes, between squinting and closing her eyes. They were solemn, but no one looked sad.

She squeezed her eyes shut and fell to her knees. Hands were on her shoulders. Without looking, she felt certain they belonged to Otto and her husband.

Otto began to speak.

“You see the way the Lord honors the righteous, Trudy?” He tugged on the collar of her dress, trying to make her sit up, trying to make her look.

She raised her head and opened her eyes again. Trees were everywhere, littering the clearing. She'd never seen so many blown down, so many roots turned toward the sky. Yet there was something wrong. Despite the overwhelming evidence that the twister had come right through the center of Broken Branch, none of the houses appeared to have been touched. Nor had the oak tree, which she saw still loomed above her, the only missing branch the same one Otto had torn away when they'd established the community eight years ago.

“So you see how God protects the righteous, Trudy? Do you know that the meadow looks worse? But the church was shielded from all. Can we have a clearer sign that God is more pleased with us?”

The old Trudy would have said that God could strike Otto dead and that would be the clearest sign of all, but the new Trudy remembered her promise, remembered the demon inside her that would wait as long as it was fed occasionally. The new Trudy lifted her face and looked Otto in the eye.

“Inside the darkness, I found the light, Brother Otto. I found God and fell before Him thanking Him for sparing me. I thanked Him for the wisdom of my husband, James, and most of all for the wisdom of you, Brother Otto. For without it, I would have been hanging on that tree, damned, with Simpson.”

The silence in the clearing was staggering. No one murmured; no one breathed.

Otto extended his hand, smiling. “Rise, my sister. And welcome back to Broken Branch.”

Trudy took his hand and stood on watery legs. She badly needed something to eat or drink, but she would wait until they offered it. The old Trudy would have demanded it. Not the new.

Otto let go of her and she felt James's arms around her, holding her up. For an instant, she almost let herself enjoy the security. She could be safe as long as she did whatever they wanted her to do, as long as she bent her knee and kept her mouth shut. But Trudy could never do that for herself. For Mary and Rodney, though . . . except, she reminded herself, no amount of subservience would save Rodney if the wrong person saw one of his spells.

Otto pointed up to the missing branch in the tree. “Brothers and sisters, the branch which has been separated from the tree symbolizes God's covenant with us. He has pulled us away from the wickedness of the world and made us strong and blameless in His sight. As long as we remain steadfast and revel in His goodness and not in our sin, He will keep the other branches intact.”

“Amen!” the congregation called. It was louder than she'd ever heard the congregation before.

“Now, let us make our sister who has returned from the dead feel welcome in this place.”

Each person then lined up and embraced Trudy. Only Ben spoke to her as he held her.

“You see, Trudy? You see? I showed you because I knew you needed to know.”

And she did see finally. She saw exactly how to behave in order to survive here for just a little longer.

She waited until she and James were back home, away from the watchful eyes of the rest of the community, to ask about Rodney and Mary. She tried not to let the desperation she felt come through in her voice.

James shrugged. He was gazing at her, his eyes intense. “I'm so happy for you,” he said. “Anytime someone finds the love of God, it is truly a time to rejoice.”

She smiled at him, doing her best imitation of Rachel. If she could act like Rachel, she had decided, she could be successful here.

He smiled back, reaching for her. “It's been a while.”

Lord, she thought. There were downsides to behaving like Rachel too, she saw.

“Of course, James, but please tell me about the children. A mother needs to know these things.” She tried to keep smiling, but it was difficult. She wanted to clench her teeth in anger and claw at his face the way she'd clawed at Otto's when they put her in the shelter. She breathed in deeply, calming herself. James was but a follower. This whole place was made up of followers. She needed to save her anger for Otto, the head of the snake.

“Otto thought it might be better if they stayed with some others until you settled in.”

Until he's sure I'm not going anywhere,
Trudy thought.

“Of course,” she said. “I understand.”

He reached for her then, but it was too much. “My time, James. My monthlies. I'm sorry.”

He nodded briskly. “Later, then.” He stood and walked toward the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To pray for you, Trudy. I don't believe you're where you need to be yet.”

With the house empty, Trudy found sleep difficult. She went out the back door and through the woods to the creek.

The night was quiet enough to hear the creek as it ran over the rocks. It sounded like something more than just a creek at that moment. There was something beneath it; maybe it was the hum of the earth itself, maybe the night sky was singing, maybe Trudy only wished there was something else, and because she wished for it so hard, she imagined that it was there.

She sat down and dipped her hands into the cold water. She cupped them and splashed her face. It stung at first, but she splashed more and the coldness of the creek almost made her face go numb.

The problem with playing this role—the biggest one because there were many problems—was that she allowed them so much power. If Rodney hadn't suffered an attack yet, that was a true miracle. She could only hope that whoever he was with either wasn't truly watching him or would take pity on the boy and not mention it to Otto.

How had her life become so twisted? She'd tried to walk the straight and narrow path, but she was beginning to believe such a thing did not exist.

Marrying James had seemed like such a sure bet.

He'd been the picture of virtue then, but Trudy saw how even being virtuous could turn to evil if it was based on fear.

She didn't want to go back home. James might come back and he might question her more about her lie. He usually didn't pursue her after she told him it was her time, but in this case, it had been clear to him that she was lying.

Trudy needed a sign, a clear indication that she'd find her way out of this darkness, because she felt lost in the deep woods, and every direction she turned was the wrong one.

A leaf floated lazily toward the creek. It was spring, but the trees had been rocked so hard by the storms, the leaves were falling anyway. The breeze felt good off the creek, and Trudy thought she might just go to sleep here.

She'd no sooner closed her eyes and laid her head down on the grass when she heard a sound that made her sit up.

Across the creek, in the vines and brambles, something moved.

Trudy waited, holding her breath. G.L. had spoken of alligators, and the men had mocked him. Bobcats, they'd said, maybe a coyote, but nothing big enough to make the scars that braided his chest and shoulders like risen stripes. Still, in this night silence, anything seemed possible.

And strangely enough, this thought made her happy for the first time in a very long time.

Happy, but still nervous. Afraid. It was possible to be both.

Another, sharper, sound. A branch cracking underfoot.

“Who's there?”

The wind answered back, but there was nothing on it, not even a scent or a sound, just the steady pressure on her brow, blowing back her hair.

She stood, hoping and not hoping the sound would come again. Her whole life had been shaped by the search for something she couldn't explain, something that couldn't be broken down in dismissive tones by her father or perverted by Otto and James's selfish interpretation of it, and she thought she might be willing to do anything to find it.

She couldn't say why, really, but she was suddenly sure the noises she heard were Simpson. He was here, just across the creek, stumbling through the heavy tangles of vines and weeds, that part of the woods that there was no sorting out, the place where dark tunnels hid, unknown to the human eye.

He'd come to tell her the truth, and with the truth she would be able to survive.

“Simpson?”

She took a step into the creek, not caring that her sandals would be ruined. He was just over there. If the moon would come back out, she'd be able to see him. In fact, she thought she already could. His eyes—they shined in the moonlight, high in the mess of branches and vines.

She stumbled in the creek, falling forward. There was a screech, and she got her eyes up in time to see an owl fly clear of the kudzu. Its great wings beat the night and lifted it through a gap in the trees, where it momentarily blotted out the stars. Trudy lay in the creek, watching it rise into the night, wishing she had wings or at least legs steady and true enough to get away from these woods.

Ben found her there a few minutes later, shivering.

“I noticed James leave and thought I might pay you a visit. You weren't there so I followed your trail down here. You leave a trail as wide as a grizzly bear in the woods, woman.” He sat down beside her and brushed against her damp dress. “Lord, Trudy, what happened?”

She shrugged. “I fell in.”

“And you didn't think to go home and put on dry clothes? Is it that bad with James?” He touched her arm. “He doesn't hurt you, does he, Trudy?”

“What if he did? You'd be too afraid to do anything about it.” Trudy sat up, saw the hurt on Ben's face, and immediately regretted saying it.

“It's true,” he said. “Though, I don't look down on it the same way you do, Trudy. I mean, I admire your bravery, but sometimes being brave ain't being smart.”

She stood and wrung her dress out. She'd need to get back or risk trouble with James. She certainly didn't need that.

“If there was an alligator that had you cornered, Trudy—”

“An alligator? There's no gators around these parts.”

“'Course there ain't, but this G.L. fellow has been on my mind lately. What we done to him. It wasn't right.”

“But you didn't try to stop it.”

Ben grabbed her hand and squeezed. “That's what I'm trying to tell you. If there's a gator facing you down, you go along to get along. You don't charge it, 'cause if you do, it'll eat you alive.” He paused and shook his head. “You saw what it did to Simpson.”

“I can't,” she said.

“Can't what?”

“Go along to get along. Oh, for a while I can, but eventually I've got to strike back at the gator. I've got to get out of that corner and live my life.”

“But, Trudy,” Ben said, “that gator's one thing, but this situation here, with Otto and Broken Branch. He's got God.”

“Does he?”

Ben nodded solemnly. “I might not be so sure, but like I told you before, I found Simpson. When I showed it to Otto, he was as surprised as I was. Hurt too.”

Trudy shook her head. “So you think God killed Simpson?”

“Who else?”

Trudy pulled her arm away. “I hope you find the courage one day,” she said and headed back toward home.

“Wait,” he said.

She turned, impatient.

“I know where your children are.”

“Rachel?”

“Eugenia told me she's staying with them. Otto figured it was the last place you'd look.” Ben stepped a little closer to her. “I ain't supposed to tell you. But I'm doing it even though I'm afraid.”

“Thank you, Ben.” She took a quick look around to make sure no one was nearby. She leaned in and kissed him hard on the mouth.

The demon told her to.

She waited until the next night, lying in bed awake, pretending to be sleeping. James seemed restless, but she lay still, trying to keep her breathing even. At some point, she really did fall asleep because when she woke up, she was alone in the bed.

Slipping through the woods, she came to the meadow where the unfinished church stood. She'd been surprised when Ben told her Rachel had taken Mary and Rodney to stay in the church, but he'd only shrugged and muttered something about Otto needing his space at home. She was pleased to see that the roof was finished, though she knew one side of the church was still under repair from one of the first storms that spring.

If anyone besides Rachel had been with her children, she might have been able to stay away, but the woman seemed so vile to Trudy, she felt an almost overpowering need to see Mary and Rodney, to hold them in her arms, to verify beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were okay.

She stood off in the trees silently, watching the church for a long time. When she felt confident that no one inside was awake, she crept to the front door and pushed it open.

She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw both of them sleeping on the floor behind the last pew that the men had installed. Quickly, she scanned the unfinished sanctuary for any sign of Rachel. She counted seven pews lined up before the altar, an ornate affair that she was sure Otto had demanded. Behind the altar, moonlight shone through the stained glass James and Otto had purchased on their trip to Atlanta the previous year. It would be a beautiful church, Trudy thought, but she couldn't help but wish it had been torn apart by the last storm.

Satisfied that Rachel wasn't nearby, she moved quietly inside and knelt near Mary first. Shaking her gently, she pressed her index finger against Mary's lips to quiet her.

“Momma?”

Trudy laid her whole hand over Mary's mouth. “Be quiet,” she whispered and then moved her hand.

“I want to come home, Momma.”

“Sssh, I know, baby. I know. Soon.” She brushed back Mary's hair. So young, too young, thankfully, to make any sense out of what was happening. If Trudy could get her out in time, she might yet have a chance at a normal life.

“Have they been kind to you?” she said.

But Mary was already sleeping. She kissed her again and slid over to Rodney.

He was awake, watching her.

Smiling, she kissed his face. “Are you okay?” she whispered.

“You're not supposed to be here,” he said.

“I'm only here because I miss you.”

He nodded. “I miss you too.”

That made her heart leap, and for an instant all of her troubles were gone.

“The spells?” she said.

He grinned. “I think they're gone. I've been praying. Otto's been teaching me about how to pray, and that if you just believe enough everything will be okay.” He paused and reached for her, hugging her close. “I've been praying for you too, Momma. I've been believing real hard that you would get right with God.”

Trudy struggled to take this in. Otto had been spending time with him? One-on-one time? She resisted the urge to gather both of them up right now and make a run for it. That wasn't the way. Not this time. She needed a calmer, more rational approach.

She gritted her teeth and said, “Thank you, Rodney. The prayer worked. It really did.”

“When can I come home? I like Rachel, but she leaves us alone sometimes, and I get scared. I miss you.” And then, almost as an afterthought: “And Papa.” He hesitated. “Sometimes I see Papa.”

“What do you mean?”

“He comes here. He won't come in. He stands outside the church. I see him in the moonlight. He was here tonight.”

Trudy couldn't think of any reason why this would be, but she didn't want to doubt Rodney, at least not openly, so she hugged him again and said, “I'm sure he's coming to see you.”

“I don't think so.”

She squeezed him more tightly.

“If you want to come home, tell Otto. Tell him you miss me. Tell him that you've prayed for me, and that God has answered your prayers.”

“It's true,” he said, smiling.

She kissed his forehead. “And if you feel a spell coming on, get off by yourself in the woods, okay? Promise Momma that.”

He looked at her funny then, like he couldn't quite recognize her in the dark. “Momma, what do you mean? If I have another spell, it means God has rejected me. Hiding won't do no good.”

Trudy felt like crying then. She felt like doing a great many things, but she only nodded. “Of course, baby.”

She kissed him again and got up.

“I'll tell Otto you're ready, Momma.”

She couldn't answer him because she was sobbing and couldn't even find the breath to speak.

She closed the door lightly behind her. She'd turned and started down the steps when she ran into a man standing in her path.

“Who—”

A hand gripped her arm.

“You're crying.”

She tried to focus through her tears. It was G.L. She breathed a sigh of relief.

“I'm okay. You shouldn't be here.”

“Well, I could say the same for you.”

“What do you know about it?”

“Oh, G.L. sees it all at night. They said I couldn't stay. They kicked me out, but what they don't understand is that I come here to die, and when a man comes to a place to die, there's no moving him.” He looked at her closely, as if reading what lay behind her eyes. “You know about that, don't you?”

“What? I don't understand.”

“You will.” He gripped her a little more tightly. “Just remember sometimes the gator gets the better of us, and the important thing is that we stood toe-to-toe with it and fought. And when it tears into you good and the angry pieces inside you burst out and rain down fire from the sky, you've still got that beating heart. He might kill you, Trudy, but don't you let him eat that heart.”

He let go of her and she watched him, stunned, as he made his way across the clearing and back into the woods.

She glanced back at the church only once, overwhelmed with the demon's desire.

She wanted to burn it. Burn it to the ground.