Broken (8 page)

He continued to move toward me,
until he was only inches away. We were practically breathing the same breath. I
thought my heart may have stopped. Nervous tingles rode up and down my body. I
had never felt that way before, and I couldn't explain what Jet's closeness did
to me.

Trying to break the tension between
us, I tried to joke with him. “Why don't you go bother some other girls? I bet
there are tons that would be more than happy for a late night visit from you.
Get your needs met, you know.”

“And you're not one of them?”

“No, I'm not.” I almost enjoyed saying
those words to him. Words he probably had never heard from another girl.

“Well there aren't any other
girls out there who are like you. You are one of a kind.”

Then to my surprise, he slowly
brought his lips to mine and kissed me softly. Sparks went off in my mind, but
not just there; my heart also sprang alive with his kiss. It was the softest
kiss; there wasn't even any tongue, and yet it lit me up instantly. I couldn't
remember the last time a kiss had that effect on me, maybe never. It not only made
my mouth tingle in a delicious way, but it enticed heat to run through the
length of my body. I gasped as it took my breath away.

He pulled away and stared at my
trembling bottom lip and then kissed me again, just as softly. But this time it
was with a little more urgency as his tongue slipped into my mouth. Heat
exploded through my body. I stopped myself from letting a moan escape my lips.
I knew if I allowed that, it would be my undoing. He would not take no for an
answer if he knew I wanted more from that kiss. I had no idea why he had such
an effect on me, but I wasn't about to let him become aware of that fact.

I pulled away suddenly and saw
confusion written on his face.

“Not now, Jet,” I said.

“What's wrong?”

I just shook my head.
“Nothing.
Is that all you needed then?” I smiled before
looking down at my feet when I spoke, knowing that my cheeks were flushed.

There was a moment of silence
before he said, “I guess.” There was
a certain
sadness
in his voice that I couldn't quite understand. I really just couldn't
comprehend what I had that he wanted.

I looked up, to watch him slowly
walk away. He faced me at first, and then turned his back to me and walked down
the sidewalk. I watched him until he
disappeared,
more
confused than I had been the entire night.

I walked up the steps of my
building, and slowly unlocked the door. I trotted back up the five flights of
stairs, and exhausted, I practically fell into my apartment. I slipped silently
back into my room and bed, making sure not to wake Julie again. Although I was
exhausted, and should have fallen asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, I
didn't. Instead, I lay there, staring up at the ceiling in the dark and thought
about that kiss. I thought about that kiss for hours.

Chapter Ten

Jet

There weren't many cabs in that
particular area; most circled the downtown area to pick up the drunks, even on
week nights. There was always someone out having a good time. Never Natalie,
though, she wouldn't know a good time if it hit her in the face. I could not
figure that girl out if my life depended on it.

I had walked a block from
Natalie's house before I saw a cab make a turn on the street I was on, and I
stuck my hand down to flag it. The driver saw me and slowed until he pulled up
right in front of me. I wasn't in the mood for chit chat, so I opened the side
door of the van and climbed into the back. I gave the driver my address and he
pulled away from the curb.

To avoid idle talk, I leaned my
head back on the seat and closed my eyes. He probably assumed I was drunk, and
would just leave me alone. On the entire drive home, all I thought about was
Natalie. Was I wasting my time with that girl? She just wouldn't give in, not
even a little bit. I hadn’t gone there with the intention of sleeping with her,
but I wouldn't have turned it down. A kiss for sure, yes; a lot of kissing was
definitely on my mind. But in the end I had hoped that she would warm up to me.

It had seemed like she really
enjoyed the kiss. In fact, she had kissed me back, it had been intense,
seductive, and God yes, arousing. Her lips, the taste of her, were like a drug,
and I was hooked. I wanted more. I would have kissed those lips alone all night
long, and still been satisfied. But she had once again thrown me for a loop.
She had separated from the kiss, and looked like she even regretted it. I
couldn't figure out why she kept pushing me away. Most girls knew my
reputation, and they still came back for more; why was Natalie so different?
And how could she not know by now that I thought of her differently? I most
definitely wouldn't have continued trying so hard with her if I just wanted to
sleep with her and toss her aside. There were plenty of other girls I could
seek out at this point, if that was all I wanted.

Why had she pulled away and sent
me off like a dog with his tail between his legs? It had been marginally
humiliating, and although I probably should have confronted her, all I could do
was walk away to avoid further rejection. The girl had my nuts by a sling, and
I couldn't seem to get them back. What could I have done at that point? I
didn't know, but I was starting to wonder if I should consider bailing on her,
the project, the pursuit, everything, because she was starting to drive me half
mad.

I rubbed my eyes hard, frustration
building up in me. I didn't want to let her go, but I knew I might have to,
because there was a strong possibility that Natalie would never warm up to me,
despite her lingering mouth on mine.

The cab pulled up to my apartment
and I sat up straight in my seat. I dug deep into my pocket for some bills. I
handed him a twenty and a five, and told him to keep the change. He thanked me
as I pushed open the van door, and stepped out. I closed the door behind me,
and headed to my apartment door.
What a night
.

I opened the door to my apartment
and walked inside to find my roommate on the couch drinking beers again. Kyle
couldn't seem to curb his drinking, despite being on the MMA team. Some people
just didn't have the discipline. He was young; he might grow up eventually, but
right now partying was one of his priorities.

“Hey man, where
ya
been? Did you find that girl of yours? Was she primed
and ready for you?” He laughed as he said those things to me. I just stared at
him at first, unsure of what to say. I made the mistake of telling Kyle after
my fight that I was going to go hookup with Natalie. I certainly thought I
would have, in one form or another and if not, then at least get her warmed up
enough to go out on a date with me.

The last thing I wanted to have
to do is tell Kyle that I had struck out. In his eyes, Natalie should have been
an easy lay. If I couldn't get her to sleep with me, he would find it hilarious
and it would spread like wildfire, and I would feel humiliation among all my
teammates. I was a big shot amongst my friends, and although the embarrassing
fact that I couldn't get her in bed wouldn't last long, it would sting long
enough for my friends to begin to look at me in a new light, and I couldn't
have that.

“Yeah, I found her.”

“Sick. What happened, man? Did
you finally slay the dragon?”

I started laughing. I couldn't
believe Kyle sometimes. “I don't know about that, but I got exactly what I
wanted.”

“Did you fuck her?”

I paused, hating myself for
saying it, but it's not like she would ever find out, “Yeah, I fucked her
twice. She liked it so much that she asked for seconds.”

“
Ohhhhh
,
you're the man! That's awesome. Was she any good?”

“Yeah, she was Grade A, man, a
pretty good lay.”

“Did she try to get you to spend
the night? I hate when they ask that. I just want to pump them and then get the
hell out of there. Move on
ya
know
?”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.
After I banged her into the headboard twice she wanted to cuddle, and I'm like,
naw
, I
gotta
go, baby.
But maybe next time.”

“Next time!”
He burst out laughing.

I felt like a complete idiot
telling that story, but there was no harm in it, and at least I wouldn't look
like a complete fool.

“So are you
gonna
keep banging her?”

I paused, and thought about
Natalie. I thought about how much I really did want to sleep with her, and stay
with her as long as she would let me. “I don't know,” I said slowly.

“Hey, why not?
If she's good, take a few more
rounds out of her before you move on.”

“Maybe.”

“Unless you think she's getting
attached. Then it might not be the best idea to keep her around.”

Attached? I almost laughed. I had
gotten her to kiss me before she sent me packing, and that was about it. I
wasn’t even sure she would ever let me get that close to her again. She
couldn't be less attached to me. Despite her reaction to my kiss, I couldn't
even tell if she liked me. She could despise me. No matter what I did, I
couldn't get that girl to warm up to me. It was heartbreaking, really. For me,
at least, she didn't seem to care one way or another. What was I going to do
about Natalie? The puzzle was still driving me mad, and I didn't know whether
to drop her, or keep trying.

“Yeah, she might be getting a
little attached. She got a good taste of me,
ya
know.
She may not be able to let me go.”

“You're kidding me? She did that?
You lucky guy! She must be hooked on you. Usually a girl won't go down on me
the first time. It always takes them time to warm up to the idea.”

I went around to the couch,
grabbed one of his beers out of the refrigerator, and cracked it open. I took a
long pull on the can, and sat down beside Kyle. I had just lied through my
teeth, and I didn't feel awesome about it.

“She's actually pretty great.
Maybe I will see her again.”

Kyle helped himself to another
beer. He laughed, “I probably would, too, if she did that to me. But maybe not;
I like my variety. You should probably just move on.”

“Maybe you're right. We'll see.”

“Hey man, you
wanna
play some games?”

“In a bit.
I'm going to jump in the shower
first, and wash her off of me.”

“Okay, you know where to find me
when you're done.”

I took my beer with me into the
bathroom, and closed the door behind me. I undressed and got the shower
started. I chugged the beer, feeling the cool liquid pour down my throat. I
hadn't had a beer in a while, and it tasted glorious. It definitely had that
relaxing quality to it that helped you feel better after the burn of rejection.
I stepped into the shower and rinsed myself off. I quickly shampooed my hair,
rinsing it just as quickly. I took the bar of soap and massaged my entire body,
making sure I soaped up good everywhere before getting under the torrent of
water and rinsing off.

I thought of Natalie, and felt a
dull throb in my dick. Yeah, I wish more would have happened between us
tonight. I had to get that girl out of my head. If nothing was going to happen
between us, then I needed to stop obsessing about her.

I turned the tap off and drew the
shower curtain aside. I stepped out of the shower and towelled myself off. I
slung the towel over the shower rod, and got dressed in some flannel pajama
pants. As I did that, I remembered Natalie's elephant pants, and I broke out
into a smile. She really was something else. How I would have loved to have
taken those pants off for her.

I walked back into the living
room, and sat on the couch with Kyle, who was in the middle of playing a video
game. I cracked open another beer and said, “Okay man, let's get some gaming
on.”

Kyle ended his game, and tossed
me a gaming remote. I decided right then and there to stop thinking so much
about Natalie. Maybe it was time to move on to the next one.

Chapter Eleven

Natalie

Class had dragged on that day. I
wasn't sure if it was the teaching, or if it was that I was still tired from
the night before. It had taken me forever to get to sleep after Jet left, and I
knew why. That kiss had moved like electricity through my body; in fact, it had
such an effect on me that I had a hard time getting Jet off my mind the entire
morning. Maybe that's why class seemed boring in comparison to thinking about
Jet and that kiss. Shockingly enough, I even had the crazy notion that I might
like to kiss him again. Imagine that. Maybe I had been too hard on him this
whole time; maybe he did deserve the benefit of the doubt. There was no need to
mistrust him until he gave me a reason to. And the fact of the matter was I
kind of wanted to see what was behind that kiss; to see if there was more than
lust there.