Brie Masters Love in Submission: Submissive in Love (25 page)

“Tell me…please,” she whispered, standing on tiptoes to kiss him on the mouth.

His lips were unresponsive, but she saw tears in his eyes. “I’m a mess, Brie.”

“Condors, Sir.”

He stared at her for a moment before nodding. Sir put down his glass and led her to the kitchen. He pulled out a chair for her at the table, then went into the pantry, bringing out the bag of rice. He plopped it on the kitchen table, sitting down on the chair opposite her. “When I’m done, if you deem it necessary, I will kneel on rice.”

A smile tugged at her lips. “Fine. I’ll make that determination after you explain your silence to me.”

He stared at Brie, the tortured look in his eyes breaking her heart, but no words came forth. She met his gaze and waited patiently.

Sir finally cleared his throat, stating, “I received news of my mother while we were in Tokyo.”

Brie nodded encouragingly.

“I didn’t see the point of burdening you with it at the time.”

“Bu—”

He shook his head. “You were already stretched emotionally trying to support Tono and truthfully…I could not process the news myself.”

A chill ran down Brie’s spine as she thought back on the trip. “I know exactly when you got the news. You were different in the car after I visited Tono’s father.”

Sir nodded. “I
did
receive the call at the hospital while you were talking to Master Nosaka.” He looked at her suspiciously. “But how could you possibly know that?”

“You were different, Sir. I could sense it, but simply assumed that seeing Tono’s father on the verge of dying had brought up bad memories for you.”

He frowned. “I failed to realize how adept you are at reading people. It’s a gift and a curse.”

She took his hand in hers and squeezed it. “Not a curse, Sir. It’s a characteristic condors share. Please tell me what’s happened with your mother.”

“You really don’t know?” he asked in disbelief.

“No one would tell me, out of respect for you.”

“I have good friends, I suppose,” he said half-heartedly, staring past her.

“You do, Sir.”

He let out a long sigh, putting his hands to his temples as he closed his eyes. “There was an earthquake in China.”

“Oh, my God, is Ruth dead?”

Sir opened his eyes and shook his head slowly, his eyes clouded with pain. “My mother was providing relief in a remote area deep in the interior of China. She wasn’t found for days after the quake. How ironic is that? She was there to provide medical relief, yet there was none to be had when she needed it.”

He looked away, grimacing. “Doctors tell me if my mother had received immediate care, she would have survived the incident. Instead she lies in a coma, connected to feeding and breathing tubes to keep her alive.”

Brie got up from her chair and moved over to him, settling on his lap when he offered it. She hugged him tightly, whispering, “I’m so sorry.”

“How many times have I wished she would die? But damn it, not like this…” He pressed her against his chest. “This is my fault, Brie. I sent her there as penance, and now she is frozen between life and death.”

Brie pulled away and looked him in the eye. “What’s happened is not your fault. You gave her a second chance even though she didn’t deserve it.”

He growled fiercely. “As much as I hate the Beast, I never wanted this!”

Brie knew exactly what was needed. “We should go see her, Sir. Right now.” She tried to get off his lap, but he held her tighter.

“That’s where I just came from. As soon as you left, I flew to China to assess her condition and see if anything could be done.”

“Oh…” Brie couldn’t hide how much not being included hurt.

Sir lifted her chin, forcing her to look him in the eye. “Even though you are angry with me now, I do not regret keeping this from you. I was too full of rage and sorrow at the time.” He gazed at her with tenderness. “Truthfully, Brie, I did it to protect you—from me.”

“But I’m not afraid of you, Sir,” she declared defiantly.

“You should be. Although I would never hurt you physically, I’m quite capable of tearing you apart.”

“You should know that I can bear the brunt of your anger, as long as I understand its source.”

He groaned as he released his hold on her. “When I shared that I have my demons, it was not simply idle talk, Brie. I
am
my mother’s son. I know you admire my ability to assess people and deliver what they need, but what you don’t understand is that it can also be used to harm them. There are times I have to fight against the urge to destroy.”

She cradled his face in her hands. “You are a good man, Thane Davis. You would not harm me.”

He sighed, shaking his head. “That day, when I got the news…it festered inside me like poison, growing in intensity with each passing second. If I had not retired into the bedroom, I guarantee you would have been hurt.”

“It’s not healthy to hide things from each other,” Brie insisted.

“You were having a hard enough time dealing with Tono. Remember?”

“But I could have handled it, Sir. Being left in the dark is far, far worse.”

“Don’t you understand, Brie? I needed time to process and compartmentalize my feelings before they controlled my actions and I did something I would regret.”

“While I believe you felt that you were protecting me, I’m still resentful you let me fly off to Denver like a clueless idiot, believing things were okay, while you faced your mother’s situation alone.”

He closed his eyes and nodded, taking in her words. “Yes, it was unfair to send you away unaware, but it brought me comfort to know you were happy and safe.”

She pressed her forehead against his. “I love that you want to protect me, Sir, but I’m not fragile. I won’t break.”

He brushed her cheek tenderly. “You must allow me the space I need, Brie.”

“I can’t be the last to know. We’re partners, Sir.”

He huffed in frustration. “How could I know the media would cover it here in the States? I didn’t intend to put you in that situation, and there is no way in hell I could have foreseen that.”

“Fine,” she conceded, “as long as it doesn’t happen again.”

He leaned forward, his mouth centimeters from her lips. “Rice or no rice?”

As tempting as those lips were, Brie avoided the kiss and reached for the bag. She looked at it thoughtfully before stating, “You deserve to be punished, regardless of your good intentions. However, I’m a reasonable submissive and won’t punish you—this time. As long as it never happens again.”

“Rest assured I shall come to you first, but I still need my space. Forcing the issue will only be met with resistance.”

“I respect your need for space, but don’t take too long to include me. It hurts.”

He kissed her on the lips, murmuring, “Forgive me, Brie.”

His tone was light, but she saw the tortured look in his eyes when he lifted her off him and picked up the bag of rice to return it to the pantry.

Sir hadn’t spoken about his feelings after seeing his mother—he’d purposely avoided the issue—but Brie was willing to give him more time, grateful they had successfully navigated this first crisis.

She smiled when he came back to the table, saying as she sank to the kitchen floor, “Let my lips show you just how much you’ve been missed, Sir.”

Coen’s Lesson on Spanking

I
t didn’t take long for Brie to realize they hadn’t navigated anything at all. She could see Sir was struggling under the weight of his emotions, but he still was unwilling to speak of them. Instead, he became uncharacteristically moody and withdrawn as he devoted his time and focus to work in an attempt to escape the pain that threatened to consume him.

Brie felt his torment and longed to share the burden he was carrying. Since he was unwilling to confront it, she broached the subject one morning while sipping coffee.

“Sir, can we talk?”

He looked at her warily but answered, “Certainly, Brie.”

She took his hand, hoping the contact would ease his building anxiety. “You haven’t really told me how you feel about what’s happened to your mother.”

Brie could feel the walls instantly rise as he tried to pull away from her, but she’d been prepared for that. “I can see it’s eating you up inside, Sir.”

His nostrils flared. “Why bring up unpleasant emotions? Talking about it will only drag out memories of a past I have no interest in revisiting.”

She smiled at him sympathetically. “But keeping those feeling buried is killing you. I see it in your eyes; I feel it in your touch.”

His response was curt and dismissive. “I don’t want to discuss it with you.”

Brie squeezed his hand, maintaining their connection. “You told me to give you space and I’ve done as you’ve asked. However, things are not getting better. It’s only getting worse.”

“Brie,” he snarled menacingly, “don’t force me down this path with you. You will regret it.” He stood up and broke away from her, grabbing his car keys. “I’ll be out all day. Don’t bother calling.”

Brie swallowed the feelings of rejection as the door slammed shut. Every time she thought they were moving forward as a couple, she found herself in the same place, excluded and alone.

She understood that Sir had been reluctant to take her as his submissive for this very reason—she
knew
that—but it didn’t make his rejection any easier.

Brie was scheduled to meet with Master Coen that day to film a scene for the new documentary. Although she was sorely tempted to cancel, she didn’t want to disrespect the Headmaster’s time.

God, how she wished Lea was around—hell, even Mary would have been a comfort to her right now.

Brie got up and dutifully went to the bathroom to apply her makeup, putting her hair in a ponytail to avoid having to style it. She added Tono’s white orchid to give herself a more finished look. Out of respect for Master Coen, she dressed in a business suit and high heels, when all she really wanted was to slip on a pair of comfortable sweats.

Pulling into the parking lot of the Submissive Training Center brought back memories of more carefree days, when life had seemed full of promise and laughter. She got out of her car and walked to the entrance, smiling when a young man graciously opened the door for her. She thanked him—images of Faelan dancing in her head.

She hadn’t thought of Todd Wallace in ages, and hoped Faelan and Mary were doing well together. No one had heard from the couple since they’d joined the commune. Cell phones were not allowed there, and Mary hadn’t made any effort to contact Brie since she’d left.

You’d better be having the time of your life, bitch
, Brie thought with a grin.

“Hello, Miss Bennett, would you like me to inform Headmaster Coen that you are here?” the receptionist asked pleasantly.

“Please.”

Brie stood beside the welcome center, lowering her gaze to avoid eye contact when she noticed some of the male students approaching on their way to business classes. She’d been trained well, but she jumped like a newbie when the receptionist announced, “Good morning, Marquis Gray.”

Brie held her breath, drumming up courage before turning around and greeting him with a bright smile.

“Miss Bennett, what brings you here?” the ghostlike Dom asked.

“I’m filming a scene with Headmaster Coen today.”

“Ah, for the new documentary, I take it.”

“Yes, I’m hoping to film a few scenes here for the second one.”

He took the mail the receptionist handed him and looked it over before nodding to Brie. “I trust the filming will go well. Please see me after you’re done.”

Brie’s smile faltered for a moment, but she responded appropriately, “It would be my pleasure, Marquis Gray.”

The elevators opened and Master Coen walked out, as impressive-looking as the first time she’d met him—all muscle, but with a sophisticated air about him.

“You’ve returned, Miss Bennett.”

“I can’t seem to stay away, Headmaster Coen.”

He chuckled good-naturedly as he guided her into the elevator. Master Coen led her to his office—Sir’s old office. Again, memories assailed her as she glanced around the room. “Is this year’s class performing well?” she asked, needing the distraction of idle conversation.