Bridge to a Distant Star (37 page)

“Beth? Beth, you need to get dressed, okay?” Michal tightened her grip, shaking her just a bit. “Miss Hamilton will go with you to the police station, okay? To make a report about finding the baby.”

She turned toward Michal, apparently still confused, acting as though she barely recognized her.

“Come on, Beth. I’ll help you.”

Beth finally stood. Instantly, Michal recoiled at the blood pooled on the chair.

“She’s bleeding.” Samantha gasped, pointing.

For a moment, everyone froze in position. All eyes riveted on the bright red puddle on the chair, dripping onto the floor. And then everyone’s gaze shifted toward Beth. To her face. Which still focused only on the baby, who was crying more softly now. Mewling like a kitten again, her mouth working, making barely audible sucking noises.

Will and Sharon communicated through a mere glance. Responded as though a manual had prepared them for this type of emergency. Quietly, Sharon wrapped up the baby in a white blanket they’d brought in with them, scooping her up into her arms. Will reached toward Beth, gently guided her toward the stretcher, helping her to lie down.

“But what’s the matter with her? Is she … will Beth be all right?” Michal’s voice rose in intensity with each question. Still unknowing. Searching for the connection between Beth, bleeding, nearly in shock. And the baby’s faint cries.

Until realization dawned.

Michal exhaled, her words of not much more substance than air. “It’s hers. The baby—it’s Beth’s baby, isn’t it?”

The paramedics worked over Beth, neither bothering to look up; they were so intent upon checking the mother. Covering her with another blanket. Getting ready to insert an IV. Chatting with their dispatcher, another at the hospital, alerting them of their imminent arrival—with baby. And mother.

Time passed as Michal watched the scene unfold, but she hadn’t been aware of it. She glanced over at her suitemates. Saw them staring at Beth. Looks of shock and—was it fear? Or the stark prick of reality causing something closer to horror?

Miss Hamilton had already changed into street clothes and was planning to accompany Beth. It dawned on Michal she should go too—to comfort and support her roommate.
My roommate?
The thought rushed through her mind.
Is she really the same person I said good night to last night?
As she tugged off pajamas and pulled on jeans and a shirt, her thoughts continued to race. Nothing made sense. Absolutely nothing.

When she opened her door, they were getting ready to transport Beth. The baby was back in Beth’s arms, and the paramedics had just lifted the stretcher. Miss Hamilton held the door as they proceeded through.

“Miss Hamilton? I want to go … I should be there. I want—”

But the paramedics were shaking their heads. “I’m sorry. Michal, is it? But only one can come. It needs to be someone in authority. Someone who can contact Beth’s parents.”

“But they’re—”

Miss Hamilton waved a sheaf of papers. “I have all the information, Michal. We’ll notify them. Don’t worry about it—or about Beth. I promise we’ll take good care of her.” Her cell phone rang, and she grabbed it quickly. “Yes? Oh, yes, Dean Mitchell. We’re on our way to the hospital now …” her voice fading as she followed the entourage.

It was a strange and sad procession that moved down the hallway. Beth and baby on the stretcher, carried by the now-silent paramedics. Along the sides of the hall, students had gathered in doorways to watch, trying to take in the bizarre scene. Whispers exchanged, wide-eyed glances stolen, conveying curiosity and embarrassment. Others simply stared without hesitation, assessing the situation, pronouncing instant judgment. Some merely shook their heads, silent, not able to absorb the reality before them.

Michal watched for a moment from her own suite’s doorway, indecisive. Exchanged vacant looks with Ruth and Jessica. Samantha and Jenny had retreated to Jenny’s room, where soft crying could be heard. Girls from adjoining suites flocked to Michal, throwing questions at her. Asking and demanding answers she didn’t know, could respond to only with raised shoulders and a shake of her head.

Fending them off, taking one last look at the chaos around her, Michal made a decision. They were just getting ready to go out the main doors when Michal caught up. Reached out to touch Beth’s elbow, making some sort of connection with this person who suddenly felt like a stranger to her.

“Beth, I’m … I’m so sorry.” Tears instantly flooded Michal’s eyes. She felt wretched. “I’m so sorry I didn’t know. I had no idea. But if you’d told me, I would’ve helped you.” She walked beside the stretcher. Attempting to stay alongside Beth as the paramedics skillfully maneuvered through the doors.

Beth looked up at Michal. Haunted eyes, appallingly white skin, her mouth limply falling open. But no words came out, no explanation. She looked down at the baby in her arms, hugged her closer.

And then they were gone. Michal simply stood there, watching them load her into the ambulance and drive away, sirens blaring and lights flashing. Tears began coursing down Michal’s cheeks until she erupted into sobs. Was oblivious to the other students who gathered in curiosity—many men among them. They pointed, whispered among themselves, speculated.

Michal looked up through her tears to see Allistair standing before her. He touched her lightly on the arm. Softly asked, “Michal, are you okay?”

She shook her head, covering her face with her hands. Felt Allistair pull her into his comforting arms, heard his heart beating against her cheek. He was warm and secure and comforting. For those few moments, some of the crushing pain dissolved away in his embrace.

Finally, he held her away from him so he could see into her face. “Are you okay? I was afraid you were going to pass out for a moment there.”

Michal nodded, attempted to control her sobs. Wiped away the tears from her soaked cheeks. Noted that she’d left a wet spot on Allistair’s shirt, where he’d held her tightly against him. “It’s Beth. She—”

“I heard. You had no idea at all?”

She shook her head, feeling a new surge of tears push at her eyes. “Allistair, how could I not know? And why didn’t she tell me? It’s my fault—my fault it happened this way.”

“Michal, no. You can’t blame yourself. Beth chose to hide her pregnancy—from everyone.” He ran a hand through his hair, tousled and uncombed from just getting out of bed. He’d immediately rushed to her to check how she was handling the crisis. “Cases like this, Michal? They say the pregnant woman is in such deep denial that even she doesn’t admit she’s expecting. So there’s no way she would’ve told you—no matter how close you might be.”

“But how?” She wrapped her arms across her chest, sobbing openly again, and stared up into the dawn of the morning sky. “I didn’t want to see it. That’s the real explanation here. Beth didn’t trust me because I wasn’t trustworthy. And I didn’t want to know the truth, Allistair.”

Michal gave a cynical laugh then, the obvious pain making Allistair wince. “Oh, yeah. Check out spiritual Michal, earnestly seeking God’s will for her life. While my roommate—who’s only inches away from me—is able to hide the fact that she’s giving birth? What a picture of my pathetic life. My roommate’s in agony—and I’m asleep.”

She turned to go back into the dorm, but Allistair grabbed her arm. “Michal, please—please stop blaming yourself. Beth’s responsible for her own choices. This has no bearing on your life … your choices. What God wants you to do.”

Michal boldly turned to face him, her eyes flashing. “Oh, but you’re wrong, Allistair. I think God is speaking to me through this, loud and clear. And now it’s my job to listen. To finally listen.” She resolutely walked away, allowing the door to slam shut behind her.

Walking past groups of women—some reaching out to pat her arm, whispering an “I’ll be praying for you” type of encouragement—Michal said nothing in response. Imagined she felt a burning sensation each time someone touched her. When she entered her suite, the silence—compared to the earlier commotion—was nearly unbearable. Only Ruth remained in the lounge, arms crossed before her, hunched over, staring at the floor. Hearing Michal, she muttered, “I just can’t believe it. How could we not …?”

Michal didn’t respond, closing and locking the door behind her. She nervously glanced around, wondering what she should do. She knew Beth’s bed needed to be stripped. That the sheets and blanket and quilt all needed to be washed. Manual work, using her hands, keeping herself busy, doing something—anything so that she wouldn’t need to think. Making the decision to skip chapel and classes for the entire day, Michal rolled up her sleeves and went to work.

After putting the first of several loads into a washer, she vigorously scrubbed the mattress. Then she tackled the chair in the lounge where Beth had bled, followed by the floor. It wasn’t until Michal was folding Beth’s quilt that she felt the first stab of hunger, heard her stomach grumble in protest. Glancing up at the clock, she was surprised to see it was past dinnertime.

Flopping down on her bed, feeling the effects of the physical work without any food, Michal realized anew how wretched she felt. And how incredibly alone.

A soft knock at her door caused her to jump. “Yes?”

“It’s me. Sam. Jenny, too. Are you all right, Michal?”

Michal took a quick glance in her mirror, wasn’t surprised to see how disheveled she appeared. She was running a hand through her hair when she opened the door.

“Hey.”

“We thought we should give you some space today. Just let you be alone for a while. But then we got worried about you.”

Michal smiled, halfheartedly. “I’m okay.”

“You haven’t eaten anything, have you?” from Ruth.

“No. I just—” And then the tears came again, unbidden. Samantha and Jenny immediately put their arms around her. Ruth and Jessica joined in, and they all clung to each other, weeping, finding consolation in simply being together. They had just settled into comfortable positions in the lounge when the call came for Michal. “You have a visitor in the lounge.”

For a moment, she considered not going. Her guilt was nearly choking her, and she knew instinctively Stephen wouldn’t help. That he could potentially make it even worse. But she stood, resolutely telling herself,
I’m submitting to God’s will. Isn’t it about time I really listen?

Ruth grabbed Michal’s arm, forcefully warning, “I don’t think you should … Michal, don’t go to him just now. He’s not … he’s not good for you, can’t you see that?”

Michal laughed the laugh that wasn’t one again. Ruth winced in response. “My Aunt Sarah told me a story about running from life. And you know what? That’s what I’ve been doing—avoiding life. I’m merely a bystander. A cowardly observer. I think it’s about time that I jump in and … begin acknowledging the realities around me. And embrace them.”

“So literally?” Sam muttered under her breath. After a piercing glance from Michal, the room went totally silent.

“I’ll be back soon.” And then Michal stiffened, held up her chin as she walked out.

Stephen was standing by the door, and instead of his customary removal of his hat and smile, he gave her a reproachful look. “I heard about Beth. Is it really true?”

Michal put her hands in her pockets, stared down at the floor like a guilty child.

“I can’t believe it. How could you not know she was nine months pregnant? That she was having a baby in your room?”

She shrugged. Stammered, “I … I don’t know. I just—”

Stephen took her arm and directed her to the outside door. Pulled Michal out onto a small patio bordered by thick bushes and a strand of trees that provided nearly complete privacy. He walked away from her and paced back, shaking his head the entire time. “This is simply unbelievable, Michal. You need to learn from this. We need to figure out what God’s trying to teach you.” He stopped within inches of her, close enough for Michal to feel his breath on her face. “What do you think that is?”

Michal was instantly intimidated, caught off guard by Stephen’s question. More so, his proximity. “I don’t know. I’ve been trying to figure that out all day.”

He put his arms tightly around her waist, and she could feel her heart begin to pound. She struggled to breathe, feeling like she couldn’t take in enough air.

“Figure out what?”

“My aunt said finding God’s will isn’t like this little point—something so small that’s hard to find. And if we don’t find that tiny little thing, then we’re out of God’s will and—”

“I don’t think your aunt reads the Bible very much. That’s not what I’ve been taught by lots of preachers.” He tightened his hold on her waist, pulling her even closer. She could smell his scent. Feel the heat of his body pressed against hers and the need to breathe in tandem with him, they were so tightly wedged together.

The combination of not eating, working all day, and her sudden anxiety all combined to make Michal feel nauseous. She attempted to push away from Stephen, pleading, “I don’t think we should be here, Stephen. I don’t want to … please, let’s go back inside, okay?” She attempted to keep her voice lighthearted. Casual. But she was beginning to feel frightened. Of Stephen. And what he intended to do.

“I know this is God’s will for you and me, Michal.” As purposefully laidback as she had attempted to be, Stephen was the exact opposite. His intensity was an autonomous, demanding force. “I’ve been praying about it. You need to trust me more.” He moved one hand up her back, worked it beneath her blouse. The other inched its way up the front.