Brian Friel Plays 1 (35 page)

SIR
:
Carry on – carry on – don’t let me interrupt.

FRANK
:
Just recalling a family outing.

SIR
:
Yes.

MIRIAM
:
A picnic years ago.

SIR
:
The famous day at Portnoo – I know – I know.

(
The
gaiety
ebbs
quickly
away.
)

HELEN
:
I don’t think we ever went back there, did we?

BEN
:
I didn’t.

HELEN
:
Not as a family group.

MIRIAM
:
Not for a picnic.

HELEN
:
Certainly not for a picnic.

TINA
:
I was there one day last Easter. By myself.

FRANK
:
And Anna and I have gone a few times, haven’t we?

ANNA
:
Where to?

FRANK
:
Portnoo.

ANNA
:
Yes – once or twice.

FRANK
:
Just for the run. But no picnic, I’m afraid.

SIR
:
It’s a pretty place, Portnoo.

FRANK
:
Lovely on a good day.

SIR
:
Beautiful. And across the bay there’s an attractive little island.

FRANK
:
Inniskeel – is that what it’s called?

SIR
:
That’s it.

FRANK
:
Yes.

SIR
:
And when the tide’s out, you can walk out to it – out to the island.

FRANK
:
So I believe – I’ve never done that.

SIR
:
Actually you don’t walk out from Portnoo. You go from Narin just over the road.

FRANK
:
I see. No, I’ve never done that.

SIR
:
Yes. A pretty place, Portnoo. Very pretty place.

(
Pause.
)

ANNA
:
Shouldn’t we get on with it?

SIR
:
Take your time – I’m in no hurry.

FRANK
:
Perhaps we should.

SIR
:
There’s no rush.

MIRIAM
:
Yes, let’s start.

FRANK
:
I think we should.

SIR
:
If you would like to make a fresh pot of tea or –?

ANNA
:
Let’s start! Let’s start!

SIR
:
Whatever you say …

FRANK
:
Yes, the sooner the better.

SIR
:
Very well. (
Opens
his
ledger.
)
Where would you like to resume? (
Waits – no
answers.
)
Anyone got any preference? (
TOM
bursts
in
from
the
kitchen.
)

TOM
:
I’ve remembered another use he had for that brass ferrule. You know how people in chapel like to sit spread out in those long pews? Well, he used to go hopping up along the aisle and whatever unfortunate was at the end of the seat he’d prod him – (
S
ees
SIR
.) Oh! You’re back!

SIR
:
Only a few minutes – that’s all.

TOM
:
(
Looking
around
) Are we ready to – to go?

SIR
:
If you are.

TOM
:
Me. Oh, I’m – certainly, certainly. Any time you’re ready, I’m – I’m – (
He
fades
out.
)

SIR
:
If no one else has any suggestions, may I propose that we  do the reasonable thing – in other words carry on almost immediately after we left off; that is to say, just before the return of Frank and Anna and Tom from the reception. Does that suit everybody?

(
No
answers.
)

And Tom!

TOM
:
Sir?

SIR
:
(
Smiling
) I’ll keep watching.

TOM
:
(
Uneasily
) Oh yes, yes, do – do that.

(
TOM
exits
quickly
–
in
his
confusion
going
off
left
instead
of
right.
)

SIR
:
Not that way, Tom. Over this – (
TOM
has
gone
.) I don’t think we need those things, do we? (
He
picks
up
empty
coffee
mugs
,
the
Enquirer;
adjusts
the
chairs.
)

MIRIAM
:
I’m not needed, am I?

SIR
:
Not for the time being, thank you. Nor Helen, nor Tina. (
Looking
round
the
set.
) That’s more like it, isn’t it?
(
SIR
returns
to
his
stool.
HELEN
and
TINA
and
MIRIAM
move
off.
Then
ANNA
.
Finally
FRANK
.
FRANK
is
thinking
himself
back
to
the
scene
that
SIR
has
called
for.
As
he
passes
BEN
:)

BEN
:
Talking about that silly picnic –

FRANK
:
(
To
himself
) Let’s see. We left the mess. I drove. Anna was beside me. Tom was in the back –

BEN
:
No, no, the Portnoo picnic – coming home in the car – you were driving and I was lying across Mother’s lap – I suppose I was drunk, for God’s sake
–

FRANK
:
(
Only
now
aware
of
him
)
What’s that?

BEN
:
And you k-k-k-– and you kept –

SIR
:
‘It is now 3.45 a.m. –’

BEN
:
My head was on your knees – and you had one hand on the driving wheel – and your other hand kept s-s-s-s-– your other hand kept –

SIR
:
Frank.

FRANK
:
Sir?

SIR
:
You’re off at this point.

FRANK
:
Yes, I know that. (
Irritably
to
BEN
.) What is it? What is it?

BEN
:
With your other hand, your free hand, all the way home you kept stroking my face, my face, my cheeks, my forehead –

SIR
:
Gentlemen, I’m sorry. I must insist.

FRANK
:
(
To
BEN
) Not now, later, please
–

BEN
:
But what I want to tell you, Father, and what I want you to know is that I –

FRANK
:
(
Leaving
) Some other time.

SIR
:
‘It is now 2.45 a.m. Tina is sleeping in bed. Helen is getting her case ready. Frank, Anna and Tom are driving home from the reception – Frank and Anna in front, Tom in the back –’

(
He
is
interrupted
by
TOM
,
who
has
discovered
that
he
exited
the
wrong
way.
He
is
now
crossing
in
front
of
SIR
.)

TOM
:
Sorry – sorry – beg your pardon.

SIR
:
Take your time. No rush.

TOM
:
Looking for matches.

SIR
:
And did you get some?

(
TOM
taps
his
jacket
pocket.
)

Fine – fine. No hurry. We’ve all the time in the world. (
Calls
)
Ready now, Frank?

FRANK
:
(
Off
) Yes.

SIR
:
(
Calls
) And Anna?

ANNA
:
(
Off
) Ready.

SIR
:
Good. Where was I? Ah – ‘– Tom in the back. Ben is alone in the living-room. He is moving around.’ And that seems to be all the directions I’ve got. A bit abrupt, isn’t it? Could you carry on from there? Thank you.

(
He
sits
on
his
stool.
The
lights
change
.
BEN
is
alone
in
the
living-room.
)

BEN
:
There was a fellow in my class at UCD; Sproule – Harry Sproule; from Tipperary. Horsey people. Had a brother doing arts and another doing law at the same time. And each had a flat of his own. And the three of them never met during term – not even once. Didn’t even travel together. Strange, wasn’t it? Harry Sproule. (
He
fingers
the
ornament.
)

HELEN
:
(
Off
) What’s that?

BEN
:
Called his father and mother by their Christian names. Spoke of them warmly – as if they were friends of the family. (
Pause.
)
Did you ever think what it must have been like for Anna coming into our family? (
He
circles
around
the
wicker
chair,
looking
at
it.
)

HELEN
:
(
Off
) I can’t hear you.

BEN
:
(
Not
as
loud
) With our bloody boring reminiscences and our bloody awareness and our bloody quivering sensibilities. There must be another way of ordering close relationships, mustn’t there? (
Shouts
)
Mustn’t there?

(
HELEN
enters.
A
cigarette
in
her
mouth.
Very
brisk.
She
lifts
a
book
and
then
goes
to
the
radiator,
where
her
tights
are
spread.
)

HELEN
:
Mustn’t there what?

BEN
:
I’m saying we’re a very closely knit family.

HELEN
:
I don’t know. Are we? I suppose so. Does it matter? Tights drying on a radiator and no heating on!

BEN
:
Maybe I should go now, Helen.

HELEN
:
Go where?

BEN
:
Leave. Before they get back.

HELEN
:
Whatever suits you.

BEN
:
I’d just like to see him for one minute, give him my congratulations and then clear off.

HELEN
:
(
Firmly
) Listen to me. You’ll stay where you are. When he comes you’ll shake his hand, say your piece, and then leave. Right? Can’t wear these tomorrow.

BEN
:
I think I’ll take a drink. No, maybe I shouldn’t. You’ll be here, won’t you?

HELEN
:
What do you want me to do, Ben? Stand at your side and hold your hand and stroke it?

(
She
runs
upstairs
.)

BEN
:
Helen, I’ve already apologized
–

(
But
she
is
gone.
He
is
wretched.
)

God! (
Rehearsing
) Congratulations, Sir, I’m really proud of
–
(
Pause.
) Very well done, Frank. Great work.

Splendid – (
Pause.
) When I heard it on the radio, Father, I was so th-th-th-th-thrill – Oh Christ!

(
The
voice
o
f
TOM
off.
Approaching,
singing
very
slowly
and
very
drunkenly.
)

TOM
:
We’re here because we’re here because we’re here because we’re here.

(
BEN
rushes
to
the
drinks.
Uncorks
a
bottle,
puts
it
to
his
head,
corks
it
again.
Then
sits
in
the
armchair
right
of
fireplace.
TOM
arrives
at the
front
door.
He
knocks
loudly
on
it
three
times.
BEN
leaps
up
instinctively,
nervously
–
then
sits
again.
)