Breed of Havoc (The Breed Chronicles #3) (29 page)

“I hurt her, Jade.”

“Did she die?”

Tasha sniffled. “No, but—”

“But nothing. You did what you could, which was more than anyone else. More than most.” I stroked a hand down her head.

“I see her in class. When I’m there, holding a weapon or trying to fight, I see her and I panic. I do what I did that stupid day and hit someone else—usually the person I’m trying to avoid.”

I couldn’t imagine that kind of guilt. Living with my own memories was hard enough. I tried not thinking about the day I’d found my family often, but it crept its way into my system when I least expected it. Thankfully, it didn’t happen daily like it used to. And I honestly couldn’t imagine being in a situation where I saw it every day. “Have you talked to anyone about this? Chris or Greene?”

She shook her head. “No. I didn’t want them to know. You’re the first I’ve told. I never even told my dad. He just thinks I was an unlucky bystander.”

“Look, I’m the last person who’d normally suggest this, but I think you need to talk to someone about it—even if it’s only Chris. He’s completely smitten with you.”

She arched an eyebrow. “‘Smitten’?”

I shrugged. “I thought you’d appreciate the word.”

“It does sound nice.” There was a pause. “Do you really think so?”

“Pfft. Please. He’s been a goner since the end of Phase One, even if he didn’t realize it yet. And Phase Two? He
volunteered
to be your partner, even after knowing about the…mishaps…that happen occasionally—”

“All the time.”

“Sometimes,” I added with a stern look. “If that’s not smittenry, I don’t know what it is.”

“I don’t think ‘smittenry’ is a word.”

“Well, today, in Tasha and Jade land, it is. So there.” Now I rolled my eyes. “You’re missing my very valid point. You guys are sweet on each other, and if you haven’t dropped the big L word yet, I’ll eat my shirt. And yes, he was a jerk today, but he’s a guy. He’s allowed to have jerk moments. Just like we’re allowed to have—”

“Bitch moments?”

“Well, basically. Everyone fights. Me and Linc had that thing last week, and you remember our huge fight last Phase. We were both grumpy messes for weeks, so I don’t recommend going that route. Go find Chris and talk to him. Explain what you meant when you told him he was being stupid, because I know you didn’t mean it the way it sounded. Make him apologize for being a jerk and then all will be well in Tasha and Jade Land.”

“And if it’s not?”

“If it’s not, I’ll kick his butt. Or you can kick his butt now that he’s trapped being your partner, and you won’t even have to feel guilty about it.”

“I do like the way you think, Jade Hall.”

“Why thank you, Miss Monroe.”

Tasha sighed. “I guess I should tell him, huh? You told Linc about…what happened with you, didn’t you?”

“Well,
told
is a weak word. It was more I blubbered on him for a while and yelled about it with an audience of Doc.”

“That bad, huh?”

I nodded. “Worse. It was…ugly. But he held up,” I added, remembering the way I’d acted toward him before that day. Remembering the way he’d been there for me. “He came through. Surprised me.”

She gave me a look. “But Chris isn’t Linc.”

“No, he’s not,” I agreed. “Do you want him to be?”

“Hell, no. Linc is too damn pushy for me.”

I fought a smile. Linc was too pushy for
her
?
Well, if that’s not the definition of ironic
. “He’s just pushy enough for me. But the point is, he’s not Linc. Chris volunteered to be your partner when no one else was brave enough to—even Linc.”

She didn’t say anything for a while, just sat quietly and stared at me. Finally, she sighed. “You might be right.”

“Of course I am.”

“I see you’re wearing the humble hat, too.”

“Well, you can’t get all the good stuff. You’ve got the fashion sense. We can share humble for a while.”

This time, her sigh was part laugh and she shook her head. “Thanks, Jade.”

“Hey, I don’t mind leaving the shoe obsession to you. Have you seen Linc whenever you mention a pair?” I pointed between my eyes. “He gets a little tick right here and—”

The laugh was full blown. “Not for that. For listening to me babble and cry on your shoulder—literally.”

“Don’t thank me. I did it for me. I can’t handle tears.”

“Sometimes,” she said, shaking her head, “I don’t know why I like you.”

“Sure you do. It’s because…” I frowned. “For some reason we’ll both remember soon.” I squeezed her hand and opened my mouth to say something, but a knock at the door stopped me. “Now what?”

I got up and answered it. This time, I found Chris standing there, looking almost as miserable as Tasha had looked when she’d first gotten here. Almost.

He barged in. “I’m sorry,” were the first words out of his mouth. He faced me and gave me a small, sheepish smile. “Sorry, Jade.”

I just shrugged because his attention was already back on Tasha. She had her arms crossed over her chest, looking formidable and seriously stubborn again.

“I’m sorry,” I heard him say again. “I didn’t mean what I said. Forgive me?”

Scratching my head, I grabbed the door. “I’ll, er, give you guys a few minutes.” I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. It didn’t hit me until I was standing in the hall that I’d give them
my
room instead of making them go to one of theirs.

I’d give them ten minutes, I decided, then I’d make sure the crisis was over and send them on their way. With nothing better to do, I slid down the wall and sat on the floor. I had a brief moment of déjà vu remembering I’d done the same thing in the elevator when I’d been trapped. But at least then I’d had the brains to grab my music player. I had nothing on me, not even my ID.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, picturing them fighting it out. Well, picturing Tasha fighting it out and Chris kissing some major ass. He was definitely the more levelheaded of the two. Like Linc—he was the levelheaded one out of our coupling. Tasha was more like me, though she tended to have a flair for the dramatic.

Had she always been like that? I wondered. I couldn’t quite picture her any other way than what I saw of her now. Shoe-obsessed, sassy, but still kind. I couldn’t picture her as a fighter. That Tasha, the one she told me about tonight, seemed so foreign to me, like a completely different person from a completely different time.

Then again, wasn’t I a different person from before the demon attack? Hadn’t I changed, too? Tasha had started out a fighter and ended up not liking it or not trusting herself to do it. I hadn’t been a fighter, but now I was.

Would I have ended up more like Tasha if the attack hadn’t happened? Would I like shoes and clothes instead of knives and swords? Would I have wanted to be a cheerleader instead of a demon hunter?

I couldn’t picture that Jade anymore than I could picture the old Tasha.

What-if games weren’t great. That was something all the teachers had mentioned at some point. Don’t play what-if games, because it doesn’t change what happened; it only changes what happens next. If you make a mistake, learn from it, and if you don’t, learn from that, too. But never play what-ifs if you like your sanity.

“Sanity is overrated,” I muttered as a door down the hall opened.

I glanced over and smiled. The smile turned to a wince when I found Linc looking down at me. “Lock yourself out again?”

“Yes. No. Kind of. Maybe?”

He blinked at me. “I’ll say it again, you’re a confusing one, Hall.”

“Yeah, yeah, I am.” I couldn’t deny it, either. “Tasha is in there with Chris.”

He strolled over easily and sat beside me. “Are they making up?”

“Yeah. Wait, how’d you know?”

“Chris talked to me about it.”

I gaped at him. “Already?”

“Yeah. He left a few minutes ago to go find her.”

“Huh.”

“So,” he said, nudging my arm. “How’d you get stuck on this end of the room?”

“I was trying to give them space.”

Winking, he took my hand and laced his fingers with mine. “Forget it was your room?”

I tried for a stern look and ended up laughing. “Shut up.”

He smirked.

So much had changed since I came to the CGE, so much unexpected stuff. Bad and weird things—like the demony stuff—but good stuff, too. Like Linc. I was glad nothing major had changed between us since we’d both let the big L word out of the bag last year. Things were mostly the same. We hung out, we ate and studied together, we made out. Business as usual.

But I could admit—to myself, if not to Linc—that it still made my heart flutter sometimes when he looked at me. When he grabbed my hand for no obvious reason. When he sat down beside me in the middle of the night and just smiled at me because I gave my room over to my fighting friends.

Even when that smile turned suspicious, like now. “You’re staring at me, Hall.”

“It’s ‘cause you’re so darn pretty.” I fluttered my eyelashes at him dramatically. He closed his eyes and shook his head, so I bumped my shoulder into his. “But seriously. I was just thinking. About you. About me. Us.”

His eyebrows arched up and he grinned at me. “Oh? I approve when you think about us.”

“Not like that,” I said, laughing. “It was mostly me thinking about you.” I stared down at our hands and rested my head on his shoulder.

He leaned in loser. “You’re about to get girly on me, aren’t you?”

I took advantage and nuzzled against his neck. “Probably.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Hit me. I’m ready.”

“Now I’m going to get double girly on you.”

“What? I’m male, so I have to prepare for the girlier things in life.”

I laughed. “God, I love you. Even when you’re annoying.” But love or not, I still pinched him.

He winced but didn’t try to move. Much. “You’ve got a mean streak, Hall. But…” He lifted my head and looked into my eyes. His lips pressed against mine, just for a moment, just long enough to make my heart skip a beat. “I love you, too.”

I smiled to myself and snuggled closer. If I had to be locked out of my room at…whatever time it was, I was glad I had good company. Especially after my talk with Dr. Cherry. Which reminded me I needed to tell him about it. Later.

We sat quietly for a few more minutes, until my door opened and Chris and Tasha walked out. They were holding hands, too, and both looked happier than when I’d left them, which made me feel better.

I was almost comfortable, so I didn’t move, just shifted to look up. “Is it my room again?”

Chris pulled Tasha close as she looked down at us. She blushed and then he blushed. It was a freaking blush-fest. “Yeah.”

“You guys good?”

“We’re good. Thanks for the talk, Jade. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Poor Chris was hauled away by a waving Tasha. He never seemed particularly shy, except when he was next to her. She was so outgoing, so full of life, so…Tasha. He seemed almost introvertish compared to her. They were the most unlikely couple, yet they fit.

“I’m glad they’re not fighting anymore,” I said as they turned the corner toward Tasha’s room.

“Want your room back?”

“Yeah, but I’m almost comfortable now. Well, that’s mostly a lie. My butt went numb, so I can’t feel it anymore to know if I’m uncomfortable.”

Chuckling, Linc pushed to his feet and then reached out for me. I took his hands and he pulled me easily to my feet, though he yanked a little harder than necessary, so I ended up crashing into him. But he didn’t stagger. He just brushed the hair away that had flown into my face. “Hey,” he said, his voice husky.

“Hi there.” My own voice sounded breathless.

His arms went around my waist. “It’s getting late.”

“It is.”

“And we have class in the morning.”

“We do,” I agreed.

“So standing out here and making out probably isn’t the best idea.”

I grinned. “Well, the making out part would be. The not getting any sleep part would probably be bad.”

His grip loosened. A fraction. “Alright. I’ll let you get some sleep, then.”

I pulled back, but he didn’t budge. “Kinda gotta let me go first.”

“Right.” His hands dropped to his sides. “I’ll see you in class, Jade.”

I went to my tiptoes and gave him a quick kiss. “Night, Linc.”

Two steps later, he yanked me back. I opened my mouth to laugh, but then his mouth was on mine. His kiss was as quick as mine had been, but it packed a heck of a lot more punch. By the time he stepped away, I was dizzy and my brain wouldn’t function at all. I stared at him, blinked. I blinked again when still no words would form.

He had a smug, satisfied smile on his face. “If I’m going to be thinking about that all night, then you should, too. Night, Jade. Sleep well.”

He was back in his room with the door shut while I sat there staring at empty space like an idiot. I probably stood there for a full two minutes before I finally managed movement beyond breathing and blinking. And then I grinned and went back to my room.

If I had to think about something, that something being Linc wasn’t such a bad thing.

C
HAPTER 14