Breathless (3 page)

She opened her eyes to find his face three inches from hers and still as a statue. If she tilted her head toward him, she could press her lips to his.

And if she did? Would he kiss her back? Could she coax him to slip under the covers and lift her soft muslin nightie and finish her?

“You’re very good with your hands,” she murmured. “I like that in a man.”

His eyes flared hot. He was affected by her. Correction, by Stella. Blue would be wise to remember that.

With her hair unpinned, and the air between them sharp with need, he held out a hand mirror. The last time she’d seen her reflection a whole lot of weird happened, so she was nervous at what she might see. She took the mirror and placed it glass side down on her lap.

“Um, would you mind refreshing my memory on your name? I’d like to know it.”

The door opened and a boy of about fourteen entered. He brought a tray to the bedside. “Here you go, Miz McCreedy. Ma sent it up.”

“Thanks, Henry,” Blue said, recalling his name from earlier. So, her short-term memory was fully operational. She could move ahead from here if need be. A fresh start. She frowned. If Blue stayed, what would become of Stella?

“Doctor Stephens, Ma wants to know if you’ll be down for a bowl or would you like me to bring you some too?”

“The doctor will have some up here, with me, Henry. Is that all right?” She didn’t know where this confidence came from, but it seemed to work.

Doctor Stephens stiffened. He nodded to Henry and let the boy leave. “What game are you playing now?” he said as soon as they were alone. “You’ve never wanted to spend any time with me, alone or otherwise.”

“We don’t like each other?” That surprised her, because she could swear she saw more than a professional interest in his gaze.

“I wouldn’t call it not liking each other. We got off on the wrong foot, and you’ve never been off your high horse long enough to give me a second chance.” He avoided her gaze.

“High horse?”

“Not only have you not forgiven me for my initial impression of your business here in Perdition, but you’ve got a proprietary attitude toward your patients that can do them harm.”

“I have
patients?
What am I? A doctor too?” Startled at the idea, she lifted the mirror to look at her face. Red hair cascaded in waves across the pillow, while green wide-set eyes stared back at her. Her lips were full, and she had a smattering of light freckles across her nose. All in all, not bad. And the pink color in her cheeks radiated health. She smoothed her right one, not sure if she liked being a few years older.

But this body felt like it could chug along for a lot more years than Blue McCann’s, regardless of the extra handful of years Stella had already lived.

“No, not a doctor, Stella, you’re a midwife. And a fine one at that.” But his tone sounded begrudging. The heat between them cooled at his tone.

A midwife. Stella delivered babies and he didn’t much care for her career choice.

Okay, this was officially off-the-charts weird, because Blue McCann was a doula, not a midwife. Doulas had no training in actual deliveries. She had trained to provide emotional support during pregnancy and to help with newborns, a kind of coach for new mothers.

But helping to bring a new life into the world? No, not her. As much as she’d wanted the designation, she hadn’t been able to afford the courses.

Stella
delivered babies. Blue had wanted with all her heart to have the same career. Then, she’d gotten sick, and it had taken everything she had to hang on financially, emotionally, and physically. Was this a chance to have her heart’s desire? What a fantasy!

She glanced in the mirror again, noted the healthy glow, and figured fantasy was better than reality any day.

T
hree days later, Blue was up to speed on everything she needed to know about Stella McCreedy. She felt stronger than she had in years. The only effects from the accident that still remained were some bruises and sore muscles. Her headaches were gone, her vision had cleared, and she’d been catching up on Stella’s life since her arrival at Perdition.

Stella had been the mainstay of health care for the women who lived and worked as prostitutes in Perdition House. As a midwife, she had been able to see to their womanly complaints competently. She also provided the house with their supplies of prophylactics. Stella had been quick to see the added birth-control benefit of condom use.

Dr. Colt Stephens had arrived in the area a month ago and had been happy to take the ladies on as patients when they needed help Stella couldn’t provide. The morning he’d arrived for a meeting with Belle, he’d taken one look at Stella and made the mistake of assuming she was one of the working girls. Their relationship had been prickly since then. But Colt was definitely ready to move to something warmer between them.

Maybe even blazing.

She had a feeling that Stella had been thawing toward him when she had her accident.

The way Blue saw it, she needed to do three things. First, she needed to figure out why she’d taken up residence in Stella’s body. Once she understood the purpose of the switch, she might be able to complete whatever task was required. She was no expert, but things like this didn’t happen without some kind of unseen help. To her knowledge, there was also a damn good reason.

Second, if this switch was permanent, she had to learn everything she could about life in 1913, so she could fit in.

Third and most personally, she wanted to get Dr. Stephens into her bed, because she might have only one shot at having a fulfilling relationship before she went back to her own body and it gave out.

It might be selfish, it might be wrong, but under the circumstances, she convinced herself no one would blame a young woman for wanting to live life to the fullest when she had this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

The way Colt talked about their more recent conversations, Stella had been attracted to him. Blue wondered if Stella had been afraid of acting on the attraction. These days were very different from Blue’s.

As far as life today, she’d read all the newspapers she could get her hands on and had memorized the women’s names who’d stopped into her room to say hello. Some of them counted Stella as a true friend and confidante.

Belle seemed to have a particular friendship with Stella and made it clear she saw Stella as an equal. Belle referred to the mansion and grounds as a “retreat for fine gentlemen,” and insisted on nothing but the best for her employees and the men who came calling. Some of the names and positions of Belle’s client list made Blue’s head spin.

Powerful men in high positions, men with secrets and contacts that stretched around the globe, were among Belle’s gentleman callers.

Blue didn’t much care what the women called the place, she was grateful for the respite and care she’d received. Everyone here was warm, friendly, and kind beyond anything she’d experienced in her life.

Perhaps she should think of it as her
former
life. As each day passed, she felt stronger in Stella’s body and more removed from her own sickly one. She’d tried every day to see if Stella lurked somewhere in her subconscious, but there was no sign of the other woman.

Blue had never been much for organized religion, but she had faith that whatever had happened had been for the best.

The clues to why the switch had been made were somewhere in Stella’s life. They couldn’t be in Blue’s own life, because she’d never done anything to get this kind of benevolent attention.

The life of Blue McCann was unremarkable, except for her beginnings, of course. Not every newborn was abandoned in a Dumpster. Since then, the only special thing that had ever happened to her was happening right here and right now.

And his name was Dr. Colt Stephens.

As each day passed, her desire for the doctor increased and the light in his eyes warmed.

Today, she would see exactly how warm the man could get.

He would arrive soon to take her home and she waited, dressed and ready. The pounding in her chest was a good sign, she decided. Her heart was strong, and she had released the fear that she wouldn’t be able to enjoy every moment with Colt.

They were adults, attracted to each other, and spent a lot of time in a whorehouse. What more encouragement could they need?

Not every man of this time could appreciate a straight-talking woman, but there were times she caught a smile lurking in his eyes when she said something he thought was outlandish.

Everyone insisted she get more rest. Days of rest. Which suited her just fine, because she was terrified of taking up Stella’s midwifery and causing irreparable harm.

Not that she’d be here long. Surely she would return to her own life and time soon.

Which only made her want the doctor more.

She may have to take matters into her own hands, so to speak.

She checked the time and then Stella’s reflection. Blue still hesitated to look in mirrors, but the shock of seeing another woman’s reflection had faded. Lustrous red hair, wide green eyes, and an hourglass figure were definitely a step up. She’d miss this body if she had to leave it. All the more reason to enjoy it as much as possible while she could.

The good doctor should be here any moment to take her to Stella’s apartment. Apparently, she had a place over a general store run by Hope, one of the former girls, and her husband, Jed Devine.

Hope had married the widower, and was busy raising his children and expecting their first. They’d recently moved into a much larger house and Stella had taken their apartment.

A light rap on her door announced Colt’s arrival. She opened the bedroom door wide in invitation. She smiled, delighted with him all over again. His face held the male focus of a man intent on a woman and her heart picked up speed.

“Good morning,” he said with a tilt of his head. His hair gleamed and he flashed her a grin that set her afire. She motioned him inside and closed the door.

He quirked an eyebrow and let his gaze drift idly down her body. He hadn’t seen her out of bed since the accident. She stood straighter, smiled wider, and let him see how much she appreciated his attention. “Surprised I’m ready to go?”

“A little. I thought you might choose to stay another day or so.”

She stepped closer and put her hand on his upper arm. “I want to go home. I can’t wait, in fact.” He was holding something behind his back. “What are you hiding?”

With a flourish he presented her with a bouquet of wild flowers. Daisies, mostly. Her favorite.

“I saw you pick daisies a week ago, so I thought you might care for more.” Apparently, she and Stella had the same taste in flowers as they did in men. Good to know.

“How lovely, thank you, doctor.” She went to the side table for an ornate crystal vase. “I’d like to call you Colt, if I may.” Was that forward by 1913 standards?

“Please do. I’ve asked you many times to use my given name.”

“I guess I spent a lot of time on my ‘high horse,’ hmm?” she said. She turned and gazed at him, enjoying the sight of a handsome man gazing back. “You should know I’m ready to climb down off that horse, Colt. I’d like to be on equal footing with you.”

His eyes flared hot and the sun came out in the room. A surge of female need put a swing in her hips as she sauntered toward the door. “Time to go home at last. A woman needs her privacy.”

Until this visit, she’d been sitting up in bed, covered to her chin. Now that she was on her feet again, she let him see the woman she was. She turned and let her expression speak of her need.

He stilled, his body tensed. Even from ten feet away, she could see the battle he fought with himself. She released the doorknob and waited to see what the delectable doctor would do.

She watched as he hovered between desire and control.

With a sigh, she said, “Relax, Colt. I’m not a patient any longer. I’ve never felt as healthy and strong as I feel right now.”
In either life!

He strode across the room, sucking up all the air, looming large and focused over her. She stepped back and hit the door. Her blood rushed, crazily, along every artery, through each muscle, to every single nerve ending in her body. Alive! Her need made her feel alive, and she reveled in the feeling.

“Colt, kiss me already and put me out of my misery.”

His hands clasped her arms, his mouth dropped to hers and hovered a millimeter over her flesh. “Stella, you make me want to roar, to plunder and take. I fear my baser instincts will soon be in control.”

Clang! Clang!
Her heart slammed against her chest wall in a warning. Overload was imminent, she was sure of it. No, that was her old body, Blue’s body.

Stella’s body was up for whatever the doctor had in mind.

His lips moved to her ear as he murmured against her. The feel of him there, against her neck, reminded her of the dressing room. It had been Colt Stephens who’d taken her over the edge into orgasm just before she’d blacked out.

Before she’d become Stella McCreedy.

“I’ve dreamed of this,” he murmured. “I’ve wanted you for weeks, but you wouldn’t look at me, wouldn’t give me the time of day.” His eyes roved her features as his mouth hovered, a pucker away from touching hers. “Now that I have your interest, I’m dumbfounded at the changes in you. Something happened to you, and it changed the way you look at me. And I’m very happy it did.”

She placed her palms on his cheeks, held his gaze. “I’m very glad it happened too.” She lifted her mouth and let him settle, light as a butterfly, on her lips. Soft and firm, Colt’s lips met hers.

Her belly dropped with need; hot, hard, and faster than anything she’d felt before. He was so hesitant, so careful, testing her, coaxing her to respond. If she did what her modern self wanted to do, she would frighten him. She wanted to lift her skirts, wrap her legs around his hips, and invite him inside, here against the door.

But this man came from a different time, had different ideas of men and women and sex. She had to let him lead the way. “Take me home, Colt, and I’ll give you anything you want. Just take me home.”

He lifted his head, then studied her eyes for a long moment. “Stella, are you sure?” He slid his hands to her rear and cupped her.

She nodded. “The thing you think happened to me. It’s true, I’ve changed. The bump on the head, my accident, all made me think hard about the good things life offers us. About how all those good things can be snatched away at a moment’s notice.”

She kissed him again and mimicked the way he kneaded her. His butt felt tight and firm under her questing fingers. “Colt, you’re one of the good things in life and I won’t let you be snatched away. Not yet.”

He kissed her so hard then she thought her heart would stop.

They stepped out together into the hallway and walked around the gallery to the head of the wide stairs. As they descended, she heard voices from the hall on the main floor. All the women of Perdition waited below. They were here to see her off amid hugs and best wishes. Blue felt part of a community for the first time in her life and blinked several times as the women clasped her to their bosoms in true affection.

She felt like a thief taking these wishes to heart. They belonged to Stella, not Blue. If she found a way to stay here, she would make it her business to earn the respect and affection of these women for herself.

Outside, the air felt moist and cool. The tang of sea air, salty and fresh, filled her nose. The brothel stood over a cliff that looked onto Shilshole Bay. The lot stretched out all around the building with sculptured gardens to the right of the house and a beautiful expanse of lawn to the left. At the end near the trees sat a lovely gazebo. White with green trim, it looked like the perfect spot for a romantic tryst.

Colt told her about parties and dancing held out there on the lawns. He helped her into his Model T and she watched as he maneuvered the car down the drive. She held on with both hands. “Some day, they’ll put seat belts in these things and people won’t go flying out onto the road when they hit trees.”

He cast her a sidelong glance. “If people kept to a reasonable speed, they wouldn’t slide off the roadway.”

That much was true no matter what century they were driving in, she thought. There was nothing like holding on for dear life to chase away desire. By the time Colt parked behind the building that housed the general store, Blue’s body had been shaken and jostled. The roads were terrible, and every bounce had reminded her that it had been only three days since the accident. Every sore muscle she owned had protested with each jiggle and rough bounce.

As soon as she could, she scrambled out of the rattle trap car before Colt could get around to help her. “I want my feet on solid ground,” she said as he reached into the back for his medical bag.

“Oh ho! The speed demon has finally seen sense.”

She laughed and even that hurt. Gingerly, she made her way toward the stairs to the second floor, but once she started to move and think about having Colt all to herself, she felt better.

The apartment was much larger than she’d thought it would be. “This is a lot of space for one person,” she said as she walked through the kitchen that overlooked the back entrance.

Colt followed her from the parlor through all the bedrooms. One had a painting easel set up in a corner. Stella was artistic, but Blue couldn’t draw a circle. She’d have to find a way around her lack of ability. Closer inspection showed dust gathering on the blank canvas. She smiled and ran her fingertip across the top. “I haven’t painted in a long time. I should probably put this away.”

“You don’t have time for it, I suppose. Since we met last month, you rarely have an evening to yourself, much less a day for painting. Belle told me you used to take your easel and paints out to Lake Washington and spend hours.”