Breaking Sin (5 page)

“Smells amazing” He whispered and went to take his place on the couch with all of the others.

We ate our food as we discussed our plans for the weekend. Everyone agreed we should make a trip into the city and try our luck at the larger clubs. As soon as we finished eating Taylor and I went off to find something to wear for tonight. We kept most of our things in the spare room at the end of the hall. We still kept our residence in the dorm, but it was just easier to crash here at the end of a long night of partying. The room had a large bed, but Taylor usually occupied it with her romantic encounters. Collin never brought anyone home, saying it is never wise to ‘shit where you eat’, so it was always safe to sleep in his room with him.

“Elixir is packed!” I stared out the window like a small child, dazzled by all the lights. The line curved out of the door and onto the street.

“No big deal. We can get in.” Collin replied and scooted me closer to him. I smiled at him, excited to party in the big city.

We walked straight to the front door. Collin and the bouncer exchanged a few words and he unclipped the velvet rope, letting us pass through.

We made our way to the bar, ordering a round of shots for all of us.

“Here’s to Sin! I am not worried about getting into Heaven ‘because I’m already here!” Beef toasted, holding up his glass.

“I’ll find you someone real special tonight!” I replied and gave him a grateful smile. We ordered another round to get us warmed up and I began my mission to find everyone someone to hook up with. I saved Collin for last. He looked around, unimpressed with the selection.

“Let’s dance.” He said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me onto the floor. I gave him a wicked grin and followed behind, ready to have a good time. I put my hands on his muscular chest as I grinding my hips into his. One song led to another and soon we were covered in sweat as we moved along with the music, our faces dangerously close.

“Mind if I cut in?” A girl asked, tapping me on the shoulder.

“Go ahead” I winked at Collin and he slowly unwrapped his arms from around me.

As the night drug on I found myself sitting at the bar, alone. This was usually how our nights out went but tonight it was especially lonely.

“Wanna dance?” I deep voice whispered in my ear. I turned around to see a strikingly handsome man in a dark button up shirt. His dark hair was cut short and he looked like he belonged on a yacht in the middle of the ocean. He definitely fit the criteria for future husband material.

“Why not” I replied, putting my hand in his and letting him lead me onto the floor. We danced for what seemed like an eternity. It was tame in comparison to the way Collin and I danced, but I was not complaining. I had my eyes closed; slowly swaying my hips to the music, wishing it would never end.

“We need to go.” Collin said into my ear, pulling me from the moment.

“No way.” I flipped around and laced my fingers behind my partner’s neck.

“Come on” Collin’s jaw was clenched and he grabbed my arm.

“What the fuck, man?” The guy said to Collin, pushing his hand off my arm.

I Held my breath waiting for Collin to react. In a split second, he pulled me off him and his arm swung back in rage. His fist connected, sending blood spraying across my chest as my partner hit the ground. The crowd formed a circle around us.

“Collin!” I screamed as he bent over, pummeling the man as he lay helpless. “Collin!” I screamed again, grabbing his arm, trying to stop his assault. After one last blow, he regained his composure, holding out his hand for me to take it. I shoved by him, hitting him hard with my shoulder as I walked out of the front door.

Chapter Six

The car was silent on the way home. Collin pulled me closer to him but I would scoot away as soon as he did.

“I’m sorry” He whispered in my ear. I pushed him away and looked out the window. He took his hand and wrapped his fingers in mine. His knuckles were bloody and swollen.

We made it to the house without fighting. I stalked off to Collin’s bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

“Sin?’ he knocked on the door, waiting for a response.

“It’s your room. You don’t have to knock.” I yelled, wiping the tears from my cheeks. He came in as I pulled off my dress, ruined by the splatters of blood. I turned my back to him as I unsnapped my bra and slid it down my arms. I grabbed a tank top from the dresser and pulled it on. When I turned around to get into bed, Collin was staring at me. I glared at him and left the room, unable to look him in the eye. I made my way down the hall to the spare bedroom where Taylor and I kept our belongings. It was empty and I was grateful they decided to stay up and watch movies. I closed the door behind me and cuddled under the covers in the cold empty bed. I cried alone in the darkness for what seemed like hours as I listened to everyone laughing and having a good time in the living room.

“Sin?” Collin called from the other side of the door.

“What?” I yelled, trying to keep my voice from cracking. He opened the door and slowly made his way over to the bed. He sat down on the edge and rubbed my back softly.

“I can’t sleep without you.” He sounded lost and wounded. I rolled my eyes wanting to tell him that he deserved it, but I could not. I shoved off the covers and stomped passed him down the hall. Moments later, he joined me, sliding under the covers and pressing his warm body against my back. I hated how comforting it felt, even when he was the one who had upset me. I relaxed into him, curving my back against his chest. His arms gripped tightly around my waist.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered in my ear, his breath tickling against my neck.

“I know” I sighed, wiping my cheek.

“I just…” His voice trailed off and I waited, hanging on his every word. “I don’t want your first time to be with some random guy at the bar.” My body went rigid as he spoke. I was embarrassed that he had even figured it out. His arms gripped tighter around me, pulling me into him. “I’m sorry” I did not respond. I did not know what to say. He had discovered my most intimate secret. “Look at me, please.” I could hear the pleading in his voice but I was frozen.

“Sin” his breath was hot against my cheek. I slowly rolled over to face him. As I turned, his hands gripped my hips and pulled my body flush against him. I let out a heavy breath. His mouth was open and he struggled to keep his breathing even. Our lips hovered an inch from each other and I could feel how much he wanted me as his hips held firm against mine.

“Sin” his voice low.

The electricity flowed between us and I struggled to remember why I was even mad at him.

“Collin” I breathed, his name tasting sweet as it left my mouth. He pushed against me reflexively and I let out a small whimper.

“Do you have any idea how perfect you are?” His head tilted as his lips brushed against mine. I pushed my hips back against him, struggling to keep myself away. In one quick movement, he flipped me onto my back and was lying on top of me, pressing hard against my waist. He slowly moved his face closer to mine. I closed my eyes, begging for him to touch me. He froze. I opened my eyes, looking into his, searching for what I had done wrong.

“I can’t” He pulled his mouth back from mine. I could not breathe. I did not even know before tonight how badly I wanted him. Had he not pulled this stunt I may have never known. He rolled off me, leaving me wide-eyed and gasping for air. I was humiliated and desperately needing him at the same time. I rolled over on my side and curled up into a ball. After a moment, his hands slid over my waist and he pulled me back against him. I wanted so desperately to pull away from him but I could not.

Chapter Six

As the sun shined directly into my eyes, I squirmed and slid myself out of his grip. I made my way into the kitchen to get a head start on breakfast, refusing to believe last night was real. We had two eggs and no bacon left.

“Fuck” I muttered to myself as I slammed the fridge door closed. I snuck back into the bedroom and pulled on a pair of jeans. Collin was sleeping peacefully in the center of the bed.

The streets were packed for early morning and I loved the smell of fresh baked goods in the air as I made my way down the block to the market. I hardly ever seemed to make it out in the daylight hours any more. The sun felt amazing against my skin. I bought a ham steak, bacon, eggs, croissants and three different kinds of cheeses for breakfast. I blocked every awkward second of last night out of my mind as I made my way back to the apartment. I was terrified of the changes they would cause in my relationship with Collin. Somehow, I was the only person in the world he would not touch.

As I entered the apartment, Taylor jumped on me, wrapping her arms around my neck as I entered the room.

“Jesus Christ, we thought you were gone.” She whispered. I stared around the room at all of my friends. Collin sat on the edge of the couch, unable to look at me.

“We needed groceries.” I replied, looking at all of their faces. Taylor loosened her grip on me and turned back to the room.

“Guys? What the fuck? Do you want your eggs or not?” I joked, trying to divert attention from myself. The room erupted in cheers and I smiled, heading into the kitchen to make them all a feast worthy of kings. Taylor followed me into the kitchen, popping bread into the toaster. When the boy’s conversation turned to television, she began to talk to me.

“He knows?” she asked quietly as I cracked the eggs into a large bowl. I bit my lip and nodded to her. “Did you?” she asked and I hesitated before continuing.

“No” I replied sharply, feeling uncomfortable with the discussion. It was not because I did not trust Taylor, but I was still incredibly confused with the way the night had ended. He made me feel things for him I did not know I was capable of only to turn me down. He did not want me.

Everyone ate their food ignoring the elephant in the room. I suddenly felt out of place among my friends.

“You want to go out? Maybe go to the mall?” Collin asked as everyone stared at me expectantly.

“Sure” I shrugged, looking down at my plate. Before today they all treated me like one of the guys, now I was some breakable thing.

We walked around the mall for hours.

“Sin, last night…” His voice trailed off and I could feel my cheeks burning under his stare.

“Already forgotten. I mean…we had a little too much to drink.” I held my breath waiting for his reaction.

“Right” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.” I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” I nodded and we continued window-shopping for another hour or so before heading back to his apartment.

His entire mood had shifted. He was anxious to go out and get drunk. When he mentioned other girls, I felt a pang of jealousy but I did not let on.

The club was packed, as usual, and I took up my regular spot near the bar. After a few shots, everyone was in a great mood, even Collin. He seemed to have completely forgotten about last night and I was hoping that it meant we could go back to being the great friends we were with no weirdness. I did not factor in how my feelings for him had changed. I had always found him physically attractive but I never wanted anything more than friendship from him. I saw how he treated other girls and I did not want to be another number on a list.

Collin’s eyes met mine from across the room as he danced with a red head. I turned around to face the bar, unable to watch. Everyone was laughing and having a good time and I stood alone, amongst a sea of strangers. I grabbed a shot and turned back, scanning the dance floor for Collin. I caught sight of him as he left out of the front door, his arm wrapped around the red head. He was obviously over last night.

The night dragged on and one by one, my friends left with their conquests. By four in the morning, I was barely able to stand on my own. I called a cab and had them take me back to my dorm room. I wanted to be alone. I could not stomach the thought of crawling into bed next to him after watching him with that other woman. Somehow, in the span of a day, I went from being his best friend to dying inside because we were not more.

I slept into the early evening. It was awkward waking up in my own bed and it took me a few minutes to place where I was. I grabbed my phone as I stretched, looking at my missed calls. Taylor had called me at least twenty times along with an equal amount of texts messages. I scrolled through them, worried something may have happened.