Breaking Free (11 page)

“
Was it a bright alien green or more of a muted, you’re-going-to-be-sick green?” he asked, referring to my recurrent nightmare.

“Bright, kelly green.”

“Well, I’m sure you were still beau—“

“JC?” Chris’ voice crackled through the radio
, interrupting him.  “My computer’s showing that you and Mal have been together at the target for a long time.  What are you doing?”

He pushed the button and answered her.  “We were fighting over the
candy, but we’re eating it now.  We’ll head back shortly.”

“Make it now.  I still need to se
nd out the others.”

Chapter 16
:  July 28 (Day 10 Continued)

Everyone else finished their
orienteering missions by early evening.  Neeky had dinner duty that night, which meant it would be at least an hour before we’d eat.  While we waited, JC gathered wood and I piled it in a pyramid in our pit, using small kindling underneath to start the fire.  Once it was blazing, we backed away from the heat and leaned against a large oak tree.

“I stink,” I said.

“You smell better than me.”

“I need to bathe.”

“You can go back to the creek.”

I jumped up an
d grabbed his hand.  “Come on.”

He raised his eyebrows in a suggestive way, but I just rolled my eyes at him.  “You need to be my lookout.  I don’t want anyone sneaking up on me while I’m naked.”

His eyes grew a little wider and he bit his lip before saying, “Chris isn’t going to let us wander alone that far away again. I think she’s already worried about what took us so long earlier.”

“Why
do you say that?”

“
She keeps watching us.  Plus you wanted to sleep with me at the beginning of the trip.  She’s probably worried you tried taking advantage of me again.”

Rolling my eyes
once more, I say, “In your dreams.  She knows I was only trying to get kicked out back then.”

“She won’t let us go.  Take Mia.”

He tried to sit back down, but I tugged on his arm.  “Mia can’t tackle Bling if he tries to catch a glimpse.”

“What if I try to catch a glimpse?”

“I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

“
Are you giving me permission?”

“
Are you that depraved after only ten days in the woods?”

He picked up a small stick and tossed it into the fire. 
“I might be.”  The stick crackled and hissed as it caught fire.

“Mia was right—you are a sex addict.”

He laughed.  “It doesn’t matter, Chris won’t let us go.”

“I’ll tell her you’re gay.”

“She knows I’m not gay.”

“How do you know that?  You could be gay.”

“She reads my journal.”

“
What
are you writing in there?”

His lips curled into a massive grin, so I shook my head.  “Never mind.  I don’t want to know.”  Walking in Chris’ dir
ection, I said, “I’ll ask her.”

It turned out
JC was right.  Chris said absolutely not.  She went with me and said Jason would keep the guys at the campsite.

When I was done
, I returned with wet hair and clean skin.  I went straight to my tent and started rummaging through my makeup case, but when I held up my compact mirror and looked at myself, I changed my mind.  It was nice to finally feel clean, I didn’t want to ruin that by layering on a bunch of thick foundation.  I opted for a few swipes of mascara and clear lip gloss instead.

“Dinner’s ready!” Neeky yelled.
  He was in much better spirits, the worst of the withdrawal symptoms having passed.

I exited my tent to find
everyone crowded around a big pot of stew and biscuits in the Dutch oven.  After grabbing a serving of each, I took my usual spot by JC’s side as dusk fell, bringing in a nice breeze.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

“Much.”

“I think you forgot something.”

“What?” I asked, looking up and down my body.

“Where’
s your trademark makeup?  I was beginning to think you were the only girl in history who would spend a month in the woods with perfect makeup every day.  Not that I’m complaining.  I like this look much better.”

I
shrug.  “It just didn’t seem worth it anymore.”  To change the subject, I add, “You really should give bathing a try.  I feel a hundred times better.”

“We’re camping.  We’re supposed to be dirty.”

“Yes, I’m sure that’s it.  It has nothing to do with your fear of water.”

“You think you have me all figured out?”

I chuckled because I had a hard enough time figuring myself out, let alone someone else.  “You need to learn how to swim when you get back home.”

“Hmm
… maybe,” he said evasively, avoiding eye contact by studying the contents of his bowl.

He was uncharacteristically quiet through the rest of dinner.  I tried to engage him
in conversation a couple times, but he wasn’t interested.  His mind was elsewhere so I let him be to work through whatever it was.  I spent the time trying to decide what I would share during our group session after dinner.  Sometimes Chris would have a specific question we’d have to answer and other times she’d just tell us to talk about ourselves.  I preferred the question because I could usually give some superficial answer that didn’t mean much.  When I had to talk about myself, it was harder.  I’d already  used up all the easy answers like I’m from California, I’m an only child, I’m a cheerleader.  I couldn’t help but think that was Chris’ plan.  Get all the pointless stuff out early so we were only left with deep, introspective details by the end. Those were the things I wouldn’t share.

Once the final dish was washed, Chris gathered us around the fire and said the dreaded words, “Tonight, tell us something you’ve discovered about yourself since you’ve been out here.”

Mia went first and told us that she was learning to be more open-minded about things.  Neeky said he learned that he didn’t need to drink.  I’m sure Chris patted herself on the back for that one.  At least one person would successfully complete the program.

Then it was my turn.  I poked at the fire with a stick while I thought about what I could say.  After a couple minutes,
Chris said, “Just one thing, Mal.  Anything.”

I nodded.  It’s not like I didn’t understand what I was supposed to do.  I just had a hard time coming up with stuff to share
in front of the whole group.  “I …”

“Yes?”
she said, encouragingly.

“I really hate not bathing.”

She sighed.  It was not the type of answer she wanted.  “Thanks, Mal.  JC?”

“I
have more self-control than I thought I did.  I need to learn to funnel that into other parts of my life.”

“Happy to hear that.”

“Travon?”  Bling was the only one she and Jason still called by his first name, probably because he wasn’t part of our group and didn’t refer to himself by the nickname we used.

“I got the patience of a saint.”

Chris thanked us all and then told us we had free time until lights-out.  As usual, JC, Neeky, Mia, and I sat together while Bling isolated himself.

“
So, I’ve got this idea for a new video game,” Neeky said.  “It takes place in the forest.”

“I wonder where you got that
from?” Mia laughed, elbowing him in the side.

“No, wait, it gets better.”

“Let me guess, there’s grunt work?”

While we were all laughing,
Bling got up and walked into the woods, in the direction of the latrine.  It’s not like I tried to spy on him, but I always wanted to know where he was so he couldn’t sneak up on me.

After five minutes, he still wasn’t back, which put me on alert.  My back was to the open forest
, making me really uncomfortable.  I automatically shifted so I could see if anyone approached me from behind.

“Come here,” JC said,
wrapping his arm around my waist and dragging me in front of him.  He positioned my body so that he was between me and the woods.

“He’s been gone a while,” I whispered while Neeky and Mia continued to argue about the video game.

“I know.”

“Should we tell
someone?”

“Let’s give him a few more minutes.”

Just then, we heard rustling behind the tents.  The four of us automatically stood up, grouped together, clapped our hands, and yelled like Jason taught us to scare away wild animals.  Chris and Jason both came rushing out of their tents with pepper spray and headlamps.  Chris circled around the line of tents from the left and Jason from the right.

We heard
them working their way through the underbrush, going along the back of our tents.  After a few minutes, they emerged together.

“Whatever it was is gone,”
Jason said, turning off his headlamp now that he was near the fire.  “It was probably something small like a raccoon.  No need to worry.”

A
lready being on high alert with Bling, my heart rate went through the roof after that, even if it was just a raccoon.

“You okay?” JC asked.

I nodded. “Just a little rattled.”

He reached over and rubbed my knee.  “
Want to sleep in my tent tonight,” he asked with a playful grin.

“If I w
ouldn’t get sent home, I’d be there in a heartbeat.”

“My how times have changed.”

“He’s back,” I said nodding towards the other side of the clearing where Bling was climbing into his tent.  “What do you think he was doing?”

“God only knows.”

We stayed outside talking until Jason extinguished the fire and made us call it a night.  I went into my tent to grab my headlamp, water bottle, toothpaste, and toothbrush and then started to circle around the back of it to brush my teeth like I did every night.  The earlier commotion had me wary though.  Since I didn’t have many options, I decided to use the fire pit as my sink.  While I was doing my final rinse, a blood-curdling scream tore through the stillness of the night.  My immediate reaction was to squat down.  I’m not sure why and I’m not sure how that would be effective against any type of threat, but I didn’t have time to think.

JC leaped
out of his tent like a deer being chased by a lion.

“CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS! CHRIS!”

I heard both Chris and Jason fumbling with their zippers while JC hopped around like something was trying to bite his feet.

“What’s wrong
?” I asked, jumping to his aid.

“
Shit!”  He spun around to face me.  “You scared me.”

“What’s wrong?” I asked again.

“There’s a fucking snake in my tent!”

“Snake?”

“Yes.  SNAKE!”

“What kind of snake?”

“Does it matter?!”

Jason
finally joined us.  “Did you get bit?” he asked, apparently having heard the important pieces of the story.

“No.”

“Good.  Stay here.”

H
e went back into his tent, emerged with a stuff stack and long hiking stick, and then headed into JC’s tent.  Chris stood by the door observing.  By that time everyone else had joined us to watch the situation unfold.

“What’d it look like?” I asked.

“Long, skinny, fangs, a forked tongue.”

“
So, your pretty typical snake, then?” I asked sarcastically.

“Sorry, Mal, I didn’t really spend time
getting on a first name basis with it.”

“You are freaked out.”

“It’s a fucking snake in my fucking sleeping bag!”

My eyes grew wide at that unexpected piece of information. 
“In your sleeping bag?”

“YES!”

He continued pacing around the campsite, wrapping and unwrapping his arms around his chest and trembling every now and then.  Neeky and Mia stood with Chris at the door to the tent, trying to watch Jason, while Bling hung out in the shadows.  I stepped next to JC and rested my hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay.  Jason will get it out.”

“I hate snakes.”

“Everyone hates snakes.”

“How in the hell did a snake get in my sleeping bag?”

“Did you leave your tent unzipped?”

“No.”

“Was there a hole?”

“Not that I know of.”

“I’m so glad I didn’t join you in your tent tonight,” I said, trying to lift his spirits.

It
seemed to work a little.  “If you found that thing, you’d be halfway back to the Lodge by now,” he said with a grin.

“No, I’d be at the Lodge
by now.”

He wrapped
his arms around my back.  “I’m sleeping in your tent tonight.  I don’t care what Chris says.  There is no way I’m going back in there after that.  Never again.  We might as well burn that tent.”

I sto
od with my arms around his waist, trying to offer comfort while we waited on Jason.  Eventually, he emerged with the wriggling stuff sack and started walking off into the woods.  Chris joined him just a few feet away and they talked in hushed whispers.