Breaking All the Rules (19 page)

              “I’m sorry.”

              He turned to her, “It makes me sick to talk about my family like I had a horrible life when you went through so much hell as a child.”

              “I told you not to feel sorry for me, Benson,” She reminded him. “Your childhood was a different kind of hell, but it was hell none the less.”

              Benson turned and pressed a chaste kiss to her lips, “How are you real, precious? How do you exist out here,” He pressed a hand on her chest. “And in here?” He moved the hand to his own chest.

              A surge of tears threatened to spill as Mia watched Benson in amazement. Just over a week ago he had been a hard man with a sharp tongue and deviant eyes. In her bed, stripped of his clothes and his inhibition, he seemed so delicate and raw. He opened up to her about the coldness that cursed his home. He had held her after her brother had called and patched the holes Aaron punched inside her. Benson Ward was a man who claimed to be indestructible and void of romance, yet he had proven to her that he needed affection just as she did.

              He
had
been a man who didn’t need love. With his parents failures in his back pocket, Benson had told himself he was content- if not happy- floating between women without any attachments. When he first saw Mia he had wanted nothing more than to dominate her, and then when he touched her, he wanted to protect her from the world.

              “Please don’t cry,” He muttered against her skin.

              “I just feel so vulnerable,” She whispered, a heavy tear sliding down her face. “I’m not in control of myself anymore, and I’m afraid you’re going to grow tired of me. How many times have we said you don’t do romance? How many times have I stormed away and you haven’t chased me? You can hold me and lather me in sweetness, but one day you’ll go and I’ll be empty.”

              “I have said a lot of things in my life that have been wrong, Mia,” Benson wiped the stray tears. “I’m man enough to admit that. Don’t let my own fears hold you back, and don’t ever think that what
this
is, isn’t real. I’m being deadly serious when I say you are mine, precious. You are mine forever whether you like it or not.”

              “I do like it,” A smile slid onto her face, then wavered. “I’m just worried that forever won’t last forever.”

              “And I’m worried one day you’ll realize how big of an asshole I really am.”

              She gave a weak laugh and slid up, kissing his nose on her way, “I already know that.”

              “I don’t think you do,” He muttered under his breath as he mocked her actions.

              “So now that this catharsis is over, can we talk about lunch?”

              Mia flashed a pearly smile and Benson came undone.

**********

              Mia was thankful she had gone grocery shopping the day before, stocking up on anything that sounded appetizing. It wasn’t until she opened her refrigerator that she realized truly how hungry she was. Her stomach gurgled as she threw out a slew of suggestions at Benson, who stopped her abruptly when she mentioned burgers. He joined her in the kitchen to prepare the food, sharing with her his secret blend of spices and ingredients used at one of his restaurant. He took over production of the sandwiches while she pulled a frozen bag of fries from the freezer.

              They ate like they cooked, naked and standing in the middle of the kitchen. They had barely plated the food before they started eating. Though void of the caramelized onions and mushrooms that typically accompanied the burger at Benson’s restaurant, the sandwich was still mouthwatering. He promised to take her there soon so she could get the real experience, but she was content with having him cook the meal for her.

              After they ate, they curled up on the couch and decided to watch
Dirty Dancing
together. It was Benson’s idea, and he smiled through the entire thing, especially as she quoted a majority of the movie. It was then that he decided her laugh was the most pure sound he’d ever heard.

              They were preparing to pick another movie on Netflix when her phone rang from beside the bed. They ignored it, though it continued to play the tune, as if stuck on repeat. Mia swore and jumped off the couch, nearly tripping over her legs as she stomped across the room. She held the phone and tilted her head back, letting out an exasperated grunt before answering it.

              “Tyler, why the fuck are you calling me? I told you-”

              “Shut the hell up, Mia!” He exclaimed on the other side, his voice terse. “It
is
an emergency.”

              When Mia’s face paled, Benson leapt to his feet and crossed the room in a few long strides.

              “What happened?” Her voice was a whisper as her mind cluttered with endless situations.

              “It’s Max. He fucking overdosed last night. He was on heroin and pills or something, fuck, I don’t know. And they found shit on him, so the police are taking him to the station right now.”

              Her fear turned to rage, “That inconsiderate little shit!”

              “Do you not understand what I just said, Mia? Max nearly died. He’s arrested. Max got arrested.”

              “Where are you right now?” She questioned, rubbing her forehead.

              “I’m on my way to the damn station!”

              “Don’t say anything. Don’t let Max say anything. Have you contacted the label yet?”

              “No.”

              “For fuck’s sake, Tyler. You should’ve called them first.”

              “Who? Who the hell was I supposed to call? There isn’t a manual for this kind of thing, Mia! I called
you
.”

              She sighed loudly, “Text me what station you’re going to, and I’ll get ahold of one of the lawyers. Fuck, this is going to be a nightmare to handle. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.”

              The ended the call abruptly and faced Benson who had an air of amusement around him. She didn’t bother explaining directly to him, and instead let him hear her furious words as she called her boss, Anne and then contacted a lawyer. Mia wasn’t required to go to the station, Anne and the lawyer would handle it all, but Tyler had told her in the text he wanted her to go. She was so angry she told him she’d snap Max’s neck if she was within ten feet of him.

              Though she didn’t have to be at the station, she wasn’t entitled to a lazy weekend with Benson any more. She had some major damage control to do. She pulled on a tank top and a pair of shorts, much to Benson’s protests. She was foaming at the mouth as she sat down on the couch with her laptop, huffing as she began to cross reference reports that had surfaced.

              Benson pushed her hair to the side and kissed her neck, “You’re cute when you’re working.”

              She eased and joked, “Oh, just wait. This is going to be a long night. That little shit has been up to no good all week. I should’ve known something was wrong. Fuck. I’m going to kill him.”

              He kissed her neck again and purred in her ear, “Homicide has never been so sexy.”

              She laughed, much to Benson’s pleasure, and said, “I’m never going to get any work done if you’re over here kissing me.”

              Benson moved around the couch and sat down on the other end, sliding his feet under her bottom, “Fine. If you insist.”

              Mia scanned quickly. News of Max was all over Twitter, and he even had his own spot on The Garage. Tyler wouldn’t be happy to see the report on the hellion drummer got a bigger spread than the one given to their show at the Pluto Lounge.

              The stream of phone calls took longer than she thought to start. Any other day, she would have loved the work. Any other band, she would have silently thanked them for a break in her spell of boring paperwork. Benson watched with an odd sense of satisfaction as she worked to defuse the situation. The first day he had met her in his conference room, she had been working just as hard. All traces of the hurt in her heart, all the doubt and insecurities that plagued her were gone when she worked. Like a PR machine, she drilled into the phone, cradling it against her neck as her hands danced across the keyboard.

              He left the couch once, just to grab his own cellphone. He told himself he wasn’t going to worry about work when he was with Mia, but she was preoccupied with her own duties. After checking and responding to a few business emails, Benson noticed the influx of calls had died down and Mia was left rubbing her forehead. He dropped his phone in his lap and looked at her.

              “Tyler doesn’t understand why I’m angry. He thinks I should be more concerned that Max nearly died.”

              Benson scowled. Tyler. That kid had been a thorn in his side since day one.

              Mia tilted her head and looked at him now, “All he sees is one of his best friends hurt and in trouble. Those guys are my friends, too, but I warned them. I may not be the most skilled person in the industry, but I have managed my share of bands. I’ve dealt with this more times than I’d like to admit. I lived it, Benson.

              “You remember that guy from the lounge? I met him when I first came to New York. I was broken from my step-dad and looking for an escape. I fell in with the wrong crowd. Aaron fucked with me. He had me so drunk during the week it was a miracle I made it to class. On the weekends, he’d slip me ecstasy and god knows what else. I was his band’s manager, but if I wasn’t waiting naked inside a gross bar bathroom after a show, he’d find someone else. Some nights he tried to get me to sleep with other guys, and then if I was messed up enough to try, he’d beat them up and call me a slut.”

              “Mia,” Benson could feel his teeth grinding. He wasn’t sure if he said her name to comfort her or make her stop. She just frowned and shook her head.

              “It was terrible. I watched him throw his life away, but I didn’t realize he was pulling me down with him. I woke up in the hospital once. He had overdosed, and I had alcohol poisoning. Lora came for me, and I never looked back. Even without him, though, I didn’t stop. I was a shit person. He had made me toxic. I was a ruthless manager. I overloaded courses at school and pulled doubles at the bar. I just wanted to feel like a whole person for once in my life. When I met Grant, I thought everything would be okay.”

              She looked at Benson to gauge his response. There was none. She swallowed hard and looked away. She couldn’t watch him grow disgusted with her, but she needed to tell him her story.

              “Things were okay, for a while. He helped me find new bands to manage. He was there when I graduated from NYU. And he got me in at Monarch Records. I wouldn’t have gotten a job there if it weren’t for him, but I didn’t sleep with him for it. He told me if I was ever going to become a better person I needed to take a less hands on approach to the music industry. I think he just wanted me to go away. Grant wasn’t abusive, but he wasn’t
there
. After a few months he became comfortable doing coke around me and it all went downhill from there.

              So I guess I got really side tracked. I was trying to tell you I don’t know how make them see that it is a big deal. Max fucked up and they’re all going to pay for this. That music video? Bye-bye. Opening for Charlotte’s Drive? Unlikely. They could lose their record deal over this. I tried to tell them to learn from my mistakes, but it didn’t work.”

              An uncomfortable silence settled between them. Mia placed her laptop on the coffee table and pulled her legs up to her chest and hugged them. She felt empty. She had tried to shield Benson from the horrible things she did, but her skeletons were too big. The minutes that past felt like dragging hours. Mia finally lifted her head. Benson was staring at her with an expressionless face.

              “Don’t look so disgusted with me.”

              He didn’t look disgusted. He didn’t look anything. That’s what made her angry. She tore herself open, yet again, for him and he sat like a statue. She wanted a fight. She wanted to scream and yell and beat her fists into his chest. When his mouth finally opened, she anticipated harshness. Benson’s words were sharp, but they weren’t hard.

              “You think I’m disgusted with you, Mia?” He shook his head with a bitter laugh. “I’m disgusted with a lot of things, but not you. Never you.”

              Finally she could speak the words implanted in her head by an angry blackness in her head, “Why? How? You’re too good for me, Benson. You come from money. You
are
money. I was a fuck up from the wrong side of the tracks who managed to become even more of a fuck up as an adult. You should have a pretty trophy wife, not an emotionally damaged neat-freak who works with rock stars.”

              Benson was on her within seconds. He picked her up and forced her to stand in front of him as he growled, “Why are you so set on being broken for the rest of your life? Why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

              He waited for her answer, but it never came. Fed up with her silence, Benson dropped her arms and roughly grabbed his bag a few feet away. He dug through it and pulled out a black t-shirt. Mia watched in debilitating horror as he put his shoes on and angrily punched at his phone. With his bag dangling in one hand he stomped across the room. Mia didn’t turn to watch him leave. She heard the door open then close with an angry bark. A few seconds later when she felt hands pull at her shoulders, she let out a startled yelp.