Breaking All Her Rules (10 page)

Chapter Ten

Grace adjusted the strap on the back of her black stiletto before getting out of the car in front of the gallery.

She didn’t know if Zack would be thrilled to see her, but then...he might not see her. It was a crowded event, and Zack was the featured artist.

That show he’d been alluding to for the past couple of weeks was, it turned out, a charity event. And he’d never said. That man and his secrets. He was so closed off. So terrified of everything. And she couldn’t blame him.

For her, pain was a vague fear. She’d tested her worst fear, losing her father’s approval, and she’d been met with such kindness. Her fear hadn’t had teeth in the end.

The fear of a husband and father was the loss of his family. Zack had found that fear to be very real. For him, the worst nightmare could come and get you when you were awake, and she had no idea just how much that might color the rest of your life.

Or rather, now she did, because she’d seen it in him.

He was the strongest man she’d ever known. The most talented. Funny, sexy and genuinely life-changing. And he was locked up inside of himself. She couldn’t help him and it killed her.

But she could come to this. She could donate. She could give in the way that she could, and then maybe, after, she would feel a little more able to let him go.

The thought stabbed her in the chest like a knife, deep and deadly. She didn’t want to let him go. She wanted to keep him forever.

It just sucked that that wasn’t an option. Like, big-time sucked.

It was amazing how two weeks in your life could change everything. And she never would have believed it if she hadn’t experienced it.

She smoothed down the front of her dress, and did a quick check to make sure the sweetheart neckline wasn’t giving away too many secrets, not that she had many to tell, then she walked up the steps and into the gallery, flashing her ticket as she went through.

The lobby area was filled with people glittering and chatting, drinking champagne and eating little canapés that passed on trays.

Zack must hate this. All of this. It was so very not him. The glitz, the tiny food...the lack of beer. But he was here, giving himself. Giving his talent.

This was Zack’s love on display. His love for his daughter.

Her heart squeezed tight and she walked through to the gallery. She stopped when she walked through the door, and just stared, a smile tugging at her lips.

The first piece was an iron bull, large bars of metal bent and twisted into impressionistic shapes that managed to look very real, even without minute detail. It was the strength in it, the movement, even as it was motionless on its pedestal.

Then she went through the room and to the next piece. A man. Bent at the waist and tied up in barbed wire, unable to move. She stopped there. Because she recognized that man. She recognized his pain. The grief that kept him there. The fear that made fighting against it impossible, because pushing at the bonds would hurt so badly. Would make it dig in deeper before he was ever free.

The room was filled with Zack’s art. With him. And she was so glad she’d come. So glad she’d been given this window into the man who had her, mind, body and soul.

There were some paintings, too, some sketches. Some work by other artists. And each piece had a box in front of it with bids inside.

She reached into her purse and pulled out the fox. He was still in there, on the note card. The fox in the big city. Too bad her New York chicken self hadn’t really been able to protect herself from him in the end.

She took a deep breath and walked through the display area, to a woman who had a name tag on, signifying her as part of the auction staff.

“Hi,” Grace said. “I...I have this piece here—” she showed her the fox “—by Zack Camden. Only...there isn’t anywhere for me to bid for it.”

The woman frowned. “That’s strange. It should be on display.”

Grace had a sudden vision of being run out by security. “Well, no...I mean...he made it for me. But I want to...bid on it. What I mean is I want to...buy it. For the charity.” She was guessing the big metal pieces were being bid on in amounts far above her pay grade.

“I suppose you could...donate,” the woman said.

“Great. But...but you can you please make sure it’s listed that it was for the fox?” She just wanted him to know she was there. Not to be impressed that she’d given, but to know she cared. That she always would.

The woman nodded slowly. “I can do that.” She pulled a card out from behind her name tag. “Put all the information in here.”

Grace started to write on the card, her hands shaking as she entered an amount nearly equal to her month’s rent. But hell, who needed a savings account?

“You’re overpaying for that.”

She turned and her heart stopped for a second, then went into overdrive. It was Zack, looking perfect in a black tux, his hair brushed back, a glass of champagne in his hand. He looked...every bit the part of a suave, urban artist. As much as he looked the part of cowboy. But it didn’t really matter to her what he wore. In her eyes, Zack was perfect everywhere.

“I probably am,” she said, trying to force a smile, “but...I actually think it’s a pretty priceless piece. The artist made it for me in the back of a cab. I actually go to watch him draw it.”

“Impressive,” Zack said.

“Yeah, well, I’m attached to it.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t set it on fire.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t even tempted to. I love it as much now as I did the day you gave it to me.”
And you, too, jackass.

“That’s a compliment I’m sure it doesn’t deserve.”

“Ah, well. Sometimes in life we get things we don’t deserve. On both sides of good and bad spectrum, huh?”

He nodded slowly. “You’re definitely a spot of good I don’t deserve, Gracie.”

“I quit my job,” she said.

“Do you still need me?” the woman asked, looking between her and Zack.

“Oh.” Grace scribbled out her phone number and handed her the card. “No, sorry.”

The woman took the card and slowly sidled away from her and Zack.

“Awkward,” Grace said.

“A little. But I don’t really care about awkward.”

“I should have known.”

“You quit your job?” he asked. “Why?”

“Because it didn’t make me happy. None of it did. This whole...living inoffensively and just working so that I would succeed and be good...it didn’t make me happy at all. I’d forgotten what happy felt like, if I ever knew...and then...you made me want more, Zack. You made me feel more. Even when...you made me leave I felt more, deeper, in that moment than I ever had. Even the pain was better than the okay.”

“I don’t think I deserve that, either,” he said.

“Sure, maybe not. But it’s not about deserving. It’s just about love. Whether you’re worthy of it or not, whether I’m worthy of it...I love you. You changed me. It’s the most amazing thing, Zack. And I just wish...I wish I could have done the same for you. I wish like hell I could have set you free,” she said, her chest heaving on a sob, “because you did it for me.”

“Grace,” he said, his voice rough, “I need to show you something.”

He held his hand out and she took it, lacing her fingers through his. The rush of heat and relief that filled her was so intense her knees nearly buckled. She held onto him tight, savored the feel of his skin against hers.

It was like being home.

They walked into the next room, where people were congregating around the newest piece.

“That’s the one,” she said. “The one from the studio that you hated.”

“I didn’t know what it was supposed to be.”

The figure was standing straight. But his hand wasn’t empty now. There was a heart there. Glossy and red, the only real color she’d ever seen in his work before.

“Perfect for the Broken Hearts Foundation, I guess,” he said, his voice rough.

She tuned to look at him. “It wasn’t just because of that, was it?”

He shook his head. “I sort of had an epiphany or some kind of BS like that.”

She laughed. “You really hate this feelings stuff, don’t you?”

“I really flippin’ do.”

“It’s okay. Tell me your epiphany and we’ll never speak of it again.” She leaned into him, tightening her hold on him.

“I didn’t think I had a heart left, Grace. I thought it was broken into pieces so small...that it was dust. And then you got in my taxi, and in my bed, and under my skin, and it turns out I have all those damn feelings that I was so much happier living without.”

“You were happier without them? And you had feelings?”

“I wasn’t really happier. It’s like you said...it was nothing, and it was comfortable. Because it was better than pain and risk and all that other stuff I just...didn’t want to deal with. And hell yeah, I have feelings for you.” He turned to face her, his eyes blazing. “I have a lot of fucking feelings for you.”

“You’re a poet, Zack,” she said, a tear running down her cheek.

“No, just an artist. Just a guy. And I love you, Grace. That’s really scary to me. Because figuring out I still had a heart to break was one thing, but deciding that I wanted to love something again? I’m shaking.”

“It’s scary, even for me,” she said, her throat tightening, her heart racing, “I can’t imagine how it is for you.”

“I realized something.”

“What’s that?”

“That working with glass sucks. And I burned myself.”

She laughed and leaned against his shoulder. “Okay, anything else?”

“Yes. I have a choice I have to make. Loving someone when they’re gone is one of the most painful things I can even imagine. It’s something I live with every day, and even though the sharpness of it has faded, and will keep fading, it will never go away.”

“I understand that,” she said. “I would never expect to. I would never ask you to dishonor your past that way.”

“I know,” he said. “But the biggest thing I realized was this. I didn’t have a choice when I lost Tally. I can’t change my thinking, be braver, be different, and have her back. But I chose to lose you, Grace. I chose fear over you and that...that’s stupid. Because this is the other thing...”

“You’re filled with revelations.”

“I am. The other thing is that I have this chance. This chance to feel again. To love again. To have the most beautiful things in life again. And I was just going to choose fear instead. And that was a dumb-ass idea. I had a lot of reasons, a lot of other things I pushed in front of the fear so I could pretend it wasn’t just that I was scared. I failed Steph. I didn’t protect my family. But deep down I know that’s not true. I know Steph and I just didn’t want to make our marriage work, to be honest. Not without Tally. And it was pretty damn mutual. We changed too much to come back together in the end. It wasn’t all on me, but it was sure convenient when I was staring down another relationship to make it all about me. Because who wants to admit they’re just a quivering coward? I sure as hell don’t, but it’s the truth.”

“Zack...”

“I do love you, Grace. With all my heart. That heart,” he said, pointing to the shining glass representation, “and this one.” He took her hand and put it on his chest. “And I know I’m not the ideal man. I come complete with a whole set of matching baggage, I live mainly in the country. I don’t have what you’d call ‘manners.’ I’m not ‘very pleasant’ and I don’t ‘work well with others.’ But...I damn well love you with everything I have in me. I even found some more things in me I didn’t know I had left just so I could love you more. I don’t bring a whole lot to the table. Just me. And I hope that’s enough. I hope you still love me, too.”

She turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, tilting her head up and kissing him for all she was worth, with everyone around them watching. And she didn’t even care. She was bleeding emotion all over the damn place.

Ice bitch could take a seat. She was no longer needed.

“Yes, you idiot,” she said when they parted. “I love you. I really, really love you. The kind where...the place we live doesn’t matter and the fact that you’re borderline charmless is okay.”

He laughed. “Borderline charmless? What the hell, woman. I charmed you out of your panties fast enough.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do. I’m a moody bastard when I have to wear a tie.”

“And I don’t even care!”

“Dear Lord, you
do
love me.”

“I really do. For me. Not because I’m trying to make up for someone else”

“So what do we do now?”

He tightened his hold on her. “Well, what are you planning on doing for work?”

“I was thinking I would go into business for myself.”

“So you’re going to work a lot and make no money?”

She laughed. “Basically.”

“I’m in,” he said. “And you realize that working remotely might be very possible. And that I have a ranch in Pine Ridge Falls. And you have an apartment here...so...”

“Are you suggesting we live in two places?”

“Why not?” he asked. “Though, if you want to live here...I could...”

“No, Zack. That’s part of you. An important part. I want to share in all of it. The good, the bad and the ugly. That’s how relationships work. Real ones, anyway.”

“That’s what I want,” he said. “With you.”

“You have it.”

Zack looked down at Grace, his heart ready to burst. There had never been a woman like her. And she loved him. For a moment, all the bad stuff fell away, and he knew that no matter how hard things had been, he was the luckiest man on earth.

Because he had another chance. Because he had her.

Having her here was best of all. Sharing his past, his pain, and his future and hope, with her.

“I’m ready,” he said, looking around the room, at all the pieces of his past, pieces that would always be with him. Pieces that felt manageable now.

“For?”

“Life,” he said. “Let’s go live it together.”

Epilogue

Grace Song looked out the kitchen window and at the light that was still on in the barn across the yard. Zack was working late again. He'd been doing that a lot the past couple of weeks.

She didn't mind, because when he went through those phases he inevitably emerged with an incredible piece of art. Which she appreciated both because she loved the artwork, and because her knew financial consulting company was just getting off the ground, and not terribly steady at the moment.

Her father found it incredibly funny that the artist was the one who supported them. When he wasn't worrying about it.

The past year had been the best of her life. She was learning to love the country. Pine Ridge Falls was a unique town with even more unique people, and the quiet was addicting. And she liked to think Zack was learning to love New York during the time they spent there.

She walked out the front door and onto the porch, breathing in the sweet air, heavy with wood and hay, before making her way across the lawn and to the barn.

She knocked, because she always felt like she was intruding on his thoughts when she saw artwork he wasn't ready to display.

“Come in.”

She did. He was standing in the center of the barn, barefoot and shirtless, next to the work bench. “I'm finished now,” he said. “So your timing is perfect.”

“Let's see it.” There was no giant new statue taking up all the free space, which was unusual.

“Okay,” he said, turning to face her, something small and glittering in his hand.

“What did you do?”

“I learned a new trick. And it took a long damn time.”

She moved over to him, her breath catching when she saw what he was holding. “Zack...”

“It's what you think it is.” He held his hand out flat, the gold, intricately carved band shimmering in the light. Foxes, she noticed. Foxes on a gold band. No one but Zack.

But that wasn't the best part. It was the ruby at the center, cut in the shape of a heart. “That moment I made the heart figure...it was always leading to this moment.” He didn't get down on one knee. He stood, offering his heart. Just like his art piece. And that made it even better. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, Zach,” she said, her throat tightening. “Yes, I will.”

“I love you,” he said. “You know that, right?”

“I do. Because you show me every day.”

“And I promise to keep showing you, every day after this one. Forever.”

* * * * *