Breaker's Passion (17 page)

She and Gretchen used to come here, to Maui. At least in the beginning. They would fly out every chance they had, even if just for the weekend, and spend their days lying in the sun, their nights in each other’s arms. Somewhere along the way they stopped making the trip. It was always another sick baby, another medical crisis that only Dr. Taylor could handle, and before too long they stopped going anywhere together. When Colby was able to get away, she and Gretchen rarely went in the same car. She was either coming from her office or rushing back to the hospital and cutting the evening short. At least her evening. Gretchen often stayed until the festivities were over.

Colby didn’t think Gretchen was sleeping with anyone else, but she wasn’t around enough to know one way or the other. Was that why Gretchen was trying to get her attention that night? Her final effort for Colby to see her again, acknowledge her? Even before that night Colby couldn’t remember the last time they made love.

She hadn’t been to the house here on the island since Gretchen died. She had given the keys to her attorney and told him to sell it. Instead, he’d hired a caretaker, which she discovered when he let it slip during one of their rare conversations. She had been furious and demanded he sell it, but he held firm, saying she was in no condition to make that kind of major financial decision. Like selling her four-million-dollar house in Seattle, the Mercedes sedan and BMW sport utility, and the practice she had built from the ground up weren’t major decisions.

When she first left Seattle she conversed with him once a week. They traded faxes and signatures until everything was finally settled. Three years of monthly financial statements lay unopened in a box on the top shelf of her closet. God, her life was a disaster. She was probably worth millions and she was living in eight hundred square feet above a surf shop.

“How dare you, Elizabeth? How dare you tell me what I’m supposed to feel?” she shouted into the wind. She repeated it, louder this time. “How I’m supposed to react?” Tears she thought she didn’t have burned her cheeks. Her throat scorched.

She couldn’t walk any farther. “It’s my life, my decision, goddamn it. My stupid, thoughtless actions killed her, and I have to live with it for the rest of my life.” She screamed into the darkness over and over until she collapsed on the rough rocks.

Nothing held Elizabeth’s attention. She tried swimming, running, anything to get her mind off the conversation with Colby three days ago. She hadn’t slept worth a damn and was cranky and irritable on top of everything else. She had spent most of yesterday and today on the beach looking for any sign of Colby, finally going to her shop to see if she could find her there.

Colby had taken her to the surf shop only once, to fit her with a wet suit before their snorkeling trip. She had never been in a specialty store for water sports, and the two dozen different surfboards that lined one wall had fascinated her. Colby had patiently explained the differences between the boards, and Elizabeth had hidden her surprise when Colby let it slip she was the owner. She knew Colby lived above the shop and had wanted nothing more than to drag her up there and tour her naked body.

What would she say to Colby when she saw her again? What could she say? “Your girlfriend was a selfish bitch in life and is continuing to be in death?” Or how about, “It’s been three years. It wasn’t your fault, get over it.” Oh, yeah, that last one would definitely do the trick.

Several cars were parked in the lot in front of the blue building, none of them Colby’s truck. She might have parked around back, but Elizabeth suspected she wasn’t even here. “I wouldn’t be if I were her,” she said, turning off the ignition. “I’d run and hide from me,” she said to no one as she opened the front door of the store anyway.

A quick look told her Colby wasn’t inside. The clerk recognized her from when she was in with Colby earlier, and when she asked him if he knew where Colby was, he shook his head, saying he hadn’t seen her in a few days. Elizabeth had known this trip was fruitless when she started, but had to come anyway to cover all the bases.

Returning to her hotel, she passed a turnout on her left and caught a glimpse of the ocean through the break in the foliage. She checked her rearview mirror, then made a quick U-turn and parked on the shoulder. She needed a moment alone near the water where she wouldn’t be constantly looking for Colby.

A series of stairs led down from the road and she quickly descended below street level, leaving the noise of passing cars behind her. The trail became more difficult when it turned from pre-formed cement to dirt and rock. Her sandals were more dangerous than protective so she slipped them off and continued down the rough path. She heard the crashing waves and picked up her pace, careful not to trip over an exposed root or a rock covered in slippery sand.

What a picture-postcard-beautiful scene. A sheer rock cliff rose on her right about two hundred yards away. Miles of beach stretched to her left. The sand was smooth, the waves intense, and she was alone. Or she thought she was until she spotted a lone figure walking away from her. She would recognize the graceful moves, the tilt of the head, the tall, tan body anywhere. Elizabeth stood where she was. There was only one way in and out of the area, and unless Colby planned to swim, she would have to pass her to leave.

The expression on Colby’s face told Elizabeth she was thinking about how to avoid her. Colby hesitated, then continued toward her. Elizabeth’s mind flashed to another time when Colby had emerged from the water, taken her hand, and kissed her.

When Colby got close enough Elizabeth could see the lines of fatigue on her face, the frown replacing the dimples she loved so much. She didn’t know if Colby would walk right by her and didn’t know how she’d react if she did.

Colby stopped in front of her. She waited for Colby to speak first, which felt like an eternity.

“Hello, Elizabeth.” Colby’s voice was flat, devoid of any emotion.

“Colby.” Elizabeth wanted to say more, something, anything to keep her here. She wanted to talk some sense into her even if it took beating her head against the rocks. But why? She wouldn’t be here to reap the benefits. She’d be back at school refereeing battles with snippy teachers. She noticed cuts and scrapes on Colby’s right arm. “What happened?” she asked, pointing to the wounds.

Colby looked at the area as if having forgotten the injury was there. “Just a little scrape.”

It looked like more than just a little scrape, but Elizabeth didn’t say anything more about it. In fact, she didn’t say anything. That is, until Colby started to walk away.

“Colby.”

Colby stopped but didn’t turn around. She didn’t say anything either.

“Colby, we have to talk.”

“Elizabeth, I’m not going to talk about this.” The waves were loud but Colby’s voice was louder.

“What are you doing, Colby? What’s going on here? One minute you’re all over me and the next you’re running away.”

“I’m not.”

“Bullshit. At least be honest about it.”

“Elizabeth, we had some fun, but that’s all it was. I thought you understood that.”

“Whatever gave you the idea I was looking for something else? For God’s sake, Colby, I’m here on vacation. Not to find my life partner.” Elizabeth shook her head. “It’s about Gretchen, and before you say anything, let me finish,” she said, raising her hands to ward off Colby’s rebuttal. “You dropped a bomb on me, Colby. How was I supposed to react? It wasn’t as if you had a simple little breakup in your back story.”

“And just because we fucked a few times, you don’t have the right to judge,” Colby said angrily.

Colby’s harsh words stuck her like a knife. In the beginning she would have characterized it more as sex than fucking. Certainly the last few times it was much more than that—at least to her. This wasn’t the time for that kind of discussion.

“Is that what you think I did?” Elizabeth could see she would have to work hard to keep this conversation calm.

“That’s exactly what you did, judge me,” she shot back.

Elizabeth didn’t agree but didn’t say so. “I’m sorry if you took it that way, Colby. It wasn’t my intention.” Some of the anger in Colby’s eyes dissipated. “I didn’t get to where I am by being shy. I’m outspoken, and I’ll admit it’s not one of my best qualities at times. You just don’t know that about me.” Actually, Colby knew more about her than most people did. Colby took the time to talk and ask questions, pump her, challenge her intellect. Until she had done some research and discovered Colby’s history and profession, she simply thought she was inquisitive.

“No, you’re not shy,” Colby said, finally cracking a smile.

“Look, I’m here for another few weeks. I enjoy your company and I think you enjoy mine as well.” Colby nodded. “Can we just put this behind us?”

“And do what? Pick up where we left off?”

Elizabeth hesitated before answering. Was that what she wanted? A few more days and nights with Colby with nothing between them but sex? That wasn’t like her. But she hadn’t been herself practically since she set foot on this island.

“I’m not here to change your life or how you choose to live it, Colby. I’m just a woman who needed to get away from it all, and I like where you take me.” Elizabeth felt herself blush as she remembered all the places Colby had taken her.

“Look.” Elizabeth sighed, suddenly very tired. “I’m going home to my job, my life, and all the complications that go with it. I’m sorry if that sounds crass but, well, you said it yourself, it is what it is.” Elizabeth was trying to convince herself as well as Colby, and Colby was looking at her as if deciding the same thing. She imagined Colby would have that same thoughtful expression as she studied a set of lab results or the open chest of a newborn. “So, yeah, if that’s what we do, make each other feel good, so what?”

Colby wondered if she could trust Elizabeth. She ran her fingers through her hair as she tried to decide. Was it really that simple? Was she only interested in a summer fling? Elizabeth hadn’t given any indication otherwise up to this point. What made her think she would start now? Especially now with all the baggage she carried around every day out in the open. If she ever decided to venture out of her self-imposed exile, who would want her? She had given up a great career to be a beach bum. What kind of long-term ambition was that? She was quite a catch. Yeah, the kind you took one look at and threw back.

“I’m sorry I overreacted. It’s just you’re the only person I’ve told about Gretchen.”

“What about your family?”

“No. They knew Gretchen killed herself but none of the details. The coroner’s inquest was sealed. They didn’t ask and I didn’t tell.” The pang of guilt was stronger than ever this time.

Colby was relieved when Elizabeth shifted away from the painful topic. It took at least another fifteen minutes before she began to relax and let her guard down. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately with Elizabeth. Yeah, and look where it got her. Her secret was out and that genie could never go back into the bottle. What in the hell was she supposed to do with it now?

“Getting enough sun, sand, and sex?”

“Good morning to you too, Diane.” Elizabeth spoke quietly and went out to the patio, closing the doors behind her so she wouldn’t wake Colby. Another three days had passed since their discussion on the beach, and in that time they had trod lightly on topics of conversation, both preferring to communicate the old-fashioned way, with their bodies.

Elizabeth was savoring every moment in Colby’s arms. This all would end soon, and she found herself wishing the summer would last forever. She had given up on any idea of putting distance between them to ease the pain. She’d deal with it when she left. The more time she spent with Colby, the more she saw what a kind, caring person she was. No wonder she was such a good doctor. She didn’t think Colby was aware of it, but she had changed since her disclosure. She was more demonstrative, always touching Elizabeth in soft, subtle ways as if clinging to her. Was Colby trying to hold on to what they had? She told herself to stop thinking like that.

“Shit, it’s lunchtime here. You should be glad I waited this late to call. Now answer my question about sun, sand, and sex, especially the sex.”

Elizabeth laughed. It was typical for Diane to cut right to the chase. “Yes. Yes, in some interesting places, and there’s never enough.” She waited for her friend to process her answers.

“Do tell, sister.” That was Diane’s favorite phrase.

“Diane, you know I don’t kiss and tell.”

“That’s because you never did anything to talk about.”

Well, she was certainly making up for it now. The soreness in her legs confirmed it. Diane prodded her again. “She’s a surfing instructor,” Elizabeth said tentatively.

“Ooh, hot body, lots of tanned skin.”

Elizabeth smiled, picturing how she had left Colby naked, sprawled across the bed on the other side of the villa. “You can say that again.” And when Diane did, Elizabeth flushed.

“I repeat, do tell,” Diane said.

“She’s funny and charming, polite and very attentive.” That was their code for a partner that cared as much about their sexual pleasure as their own. Both she and Diane had had lovers who practically didn’t give a damn about their orgasms.

Diane inhaled sharply. “And does this wonder woman have a name?”

“Colby.”

“Mmm, very androgynous.”

Elizabeth agreed that Colby’s dark complexion, spiky hair, and chiseled body was just that, but she knew firsthand that Colby was all woman. “She’s Hawaiian and hot.”

“Why are you whispering?” Before Elizabeth had a chance to answer, Diane said, “She’s there with you now, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she’s still sleeping.” Elizabeth had woken before Colby and had lain in her arms listening to her breathe. They had been up most of the night making love, rarely saying anything more than an occasional “yes,” “right there,” and “harder” to each other.

As Colby slept, Elizabeth struggled to sort out her feelings. How much of her emotional turmoil was tied up in the fact that she was with a charming, stunningly beautiful woman in paradise? This wasn’t reality. She was on vacation, and real life had a way of staying discreetly in the background. What would it be like when everyday life was overlaid on their relationship?