Breakaway: Clan of the Ice Mountains (9 page)

Attu felt a strong hand grabbing him by his good shoulder. “Steady now, Attu,” he heard Paven say. “You’re having a Remembering. Take in a deep breath.”

A what?
Attu breathed. The man had said to breathe. But
there was the bear again, coming at him. He saw the claws, the teeth, and in the distance he heard Shunut scream, over and over again... he screamed and screamed...

“Attu!” Paven shouted, and Attu’s head snapped back as Paven struck him across the face with his mik.

“What... why did you strike me?” Attu asked, his mind still reeling with the memory of the attack.

“You were screaming,” Paven said.

“I was?”

“Yes. Rika told me you hadn’t spoken a word of the attack after coming back from Between. I brought you away from the others so the first time the Remembering grabbed at your mind, I’d be here to help you.”

“It was so real...” Attu shook his head, his mind still trying to make sense of how strong the memory had been, how it had consumed him, torn at him, much like the bear had done. He had felt lost in its grip.
Did the bear somehow enter my mind? Is it going to attack me from inside my head now whenever it wants to?
He groaned at the thought.

Paven knelt beside the rock, his eyes even with Attu’s. “No one in either of our clans has ever survived an ice bear attack except for me, and now you. They don’t know the horror of facing those claws, those teeth.” Paven grasped Attu’s shoulder again as Attu began to tremble.

Attu realized the Remembering was trying to take him again, and he worked to concentrate on what Paven was saying and not on the memory. It was difficult, but he willed himself to put the memory aside and to focus on Paven instead.

“Good,” Paven said, as if he were aware Attu had just won a small battle of will against memory. “You’re strong of mind as well as body, and your spirit won’t let you be lost in the world of Remembering.”

“I didn’t know...” Attu’s voice trailed off. He couldn’t think.
I want to tell Paven how horrible it was. I had no idea a person could relive an event with such detail, such feeling, as to be lost in it as if it were happening over and over again...

“Now, you will recount the ice bear’s attack,” Paven commanded. “Every day you will tell it to me, until the power of the spirit of the ice bear is weakened by the telling, and his spirit can no longer attack your mind.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Attu said, his voice shaking as he tried to stand up, to end this conversation.

“You must and you will!” Paven declared. He pushed Attu back down on the rock as he himself stood up again.

Attu gritted his teeth against the pain and his anger.

“I will not allow such a strong young hunter as you, Attu, to be lost to the spirit of the ice bear,” Paven continued, his hand slicing the air in front of him to cut off all argument.

“I won’t,” Attu yelled back, his temper erupting. “You are not even of my clan, how can you force me to speak of something I don’t wish to talk about?”

“You will!” Paven shouted.

“No!”

Attu pushed himself up again and tried to stand as straight and proud as he could. This time, Paven didn’t try to stop him. It took every last bit of energy he had, but Attu turned, determined to walk away, no matter how weak he felt. He wouldn’t allow this strange hunter to order him to do anything. But Attu’s head was spinning and he couldn’t walk. He gritted his teeth in frustration, which just made his head hurt more.

He forced himself to relax his jaw, taking in a deep breath before placing his hand against the rock to steady himself.
I’ll rest here a moment, then leave,
Attu told himself, even though he knew he didn’t have the strength to return on his own.

“Attu,” Paven’s voice was suddenly calm.

Attu felt Paven take a step closer to him, but Attu didn’t move.

“This is not a matter of who is stronger, who is leader,” Paven said, his voice almost a whisper in Attu’s ear. “It is a matter of survival.”

Attu turned to face Paven again. He knew only his pride was keeping him on his feet. Attu began to sway.

“Here, sit beside me, Attu. There’s room on the rock for both of us.” Paven sat down on one side of the rock.

It’s either sit down or fall down,
Attu thought. He collapsed on the other side of the rock, took in a breath, and tried to ignore his trembling legs.

“My woman used to tell me,” Paven began again, “that if I would talk like the wind that blows gently from the south, she could hear me much better than when I spoke like the biting north wind, all bluster and ice.” Paven shook his head. “She was right. She always was.”

Attu stayed silent. His head was pounding, and he wanted to lie down. He had no idea how he was going to walk back to the shelter. He just wanted Paven to leave him alone. But that didn’t seem to be what the clan leader had in mind.

“Four of us were attacked that day,” Paven began.

Attu shuddered and pulled his mind back from the image of teeth and the sound of flesh tearing that Paven’s words had triggered. He didn’t want to hear Paven’s story. Not now.

Paven glanced at him, and apparently satisfied he wasn’t going to try to get up again, he continued. “We had traveled farther south than our clan had ever gone, searching for game. We, too, thought the ice bear was only a spirit. When it rose up among the snowy boulders at the edge of the land, we were so shocked none of us reacted fast enough. The bear killed the first man instantly. Broke his neck with one paw. The second took longer. Two of us survived: myself, and Rovek, a young hunter who had raced to my side when he saw the others go down. A braver hunter I have never known, until now...”

Paven paused and studied Attu.

“Didn’t you say you and I are the only ones to have survived an ice bear attack?”

Paven continued. “There is more. We killed the bear. I was wounded much as you see now, mostly my face, neck, and chest. Rovek was bitten on his leg. The bear picked him up and shook him like a nuknuk shakes a fish before it dropped Rovek and fell over dead from blood loss.”

Why is he telling me this?
Attu thought.
To impress me? I don’t care. So he survived. So did I. So, apparently, did this hunter, Rovek. Just let me go back to my shelter and sleep...

“Afterward, I began to have horrible times Between, dreaming of the attack over and over again,” Paven continued. “When I’d awake, my woman would do like her clan had always done with dreams; she’d make me tell the dream, each part, and she would release the dream back to the spirit world of Between, from where it had come.”

Paven looked off into the distance, his eyes growing vague in their staring.

Attu wondered if Paven was getting lost in the Remembering himself, but after a few moments Paven cleared his throat and spit off to the side of the rock before he spoke again.

“The dream Remembering began to fade. I no longer saw the attack so strongly in my waking times, either. I healed. Rovek did not.”

What happened to Rovek?
Attu wondered. He looked at Paven, sure the question was in his eyes.

“Rovek refused to speak of the attack. He grew quieter every day, lost in the Remembering. A moon went by, then two. His young woman was beside herself with worry. She came to me, telling me of his terror in the night, of his temper, how he was beginning to act as if the ice bear’s spirit were living inside him now, instead of going into the Between until the time for it to be born into another ice bear’s body. It was as if the ice bear’s spirit had chosen to take over Rovek’s body instead.”

Attu shuddered at the thought.

“One night, Rovek came to my shelter. He was angry. He attacked me. I saw the spirit of the ice bear in his eyes, as clearly as I see you before me now... and I... was... afraid.”

Attu stared at Paven. No hunter EVER admitted to fear. NEVER.
Paven must have been truly terrified, and he wants there to be no doubt in my mind about the seriousness of his fight with Rovek.

“What happened?” Attu asked, both dreading to hear and needing the answer. “Did you kill Rovek?”

“No. I tried to reason with him,” Paven said. “He struck me across the face, just like the ice bear had. The pain made me pass to the Between of sleep, and when I awoke, both he and his young woman, who was expecting their first child, were gone. Their snow house showed signs of a struggle, and both of them had disappeared. A hunter found their bodies two days later at the base of a cliff near our camp. We left that accursed place, moved back north and out of the ice bears’ territory.”

“And you believe the spirit of the ice bear killed them?”

“Yes.”

Attu shook with fear now.
Will I be overtaken by the bear spirit?
He thought.
Has the Remembering already begun to take hold of me?
He looked at Paven, knowing his fear must show. He didn’t care anymore.

“My woman was right,” Paven said. “The ice bear has a unique spirit. Strong. It continues to fight after the bear’s body is dead. If a hunter kills its body, the spirit of the bear will attack that hunter’s mind, taking it over through dreaming or through the Remembering. That’s why you must tell me your Remembering over and over again until the ice bear’s spirit stops trying to gain its hold on you. Then you will simply remember the event like any bad memory. The ice bear’s spirit will no longer have power over you. It will be forced to go to the Between, where it should have gone immediately after its death.”

“I understand,” Attu said. He was suddenly grateful to this man, this scar-faced clan leader, who was willing to be honest with a young hunter about his own fear, so he, Attu, could avoid what had happened to Rovek.

“Thank you, Clan leader Paven, mightiest hunter of the Great Frozen Clan,” Attu said and attempted to stand again, to honor Paven as he should, but his knees buckled under him, and he sat back down, grunting at the pain the jolt cost him.

“Here, mighty hunter, Attu, hunter for the Ice Mountain Clan.” Paven stood up and held out his arm for Attu to grasp. Attu heard the humor in Paven’s voice, but didn’t take offense. He just wanted to get back to the warmth of the shelter and his soft fur bed. His mind was reeling from what Paven had told him, and he’d have to think about it some more. But for now, he wanted nothing more than to lie down and rest. The two made their way slowly back toward camp, Attu leaning heavily on Paven.

Rika rounded a corner in the trail, running toward them. Attu noticed Rika was wearing her hair braided in two braids like the women of his clan now, and the long shining strands bounced on her chest as she ran. Her cheeks were flushed as she reached them.

“Father, Attu should not be walking this far his first day back on his feet,” she scolded as she rushed to Attu’s other side to help support him as he walked. She grabbed Attu’s arm, near his injured shoulder, and an involuntary yelp escaped Attu’s lips.

“Sorry,” Rika said to Attu.

He managed a smile at her as his thoughts took over again.
Paven is Rika’s father?
Now it all made sense to him. She had known how to treat the ice bear wounds, had known how much pain Attu was in, and she must have either been old enough when her own father had been attacked to remember Rovek and the tragedy of the young couple’s deaths, or her father had warned her about the ice bear’s mind attacks.
And she did ask me about my dreams...

As Rika walked beside them, Attu tried to move a bit faster and to appear not to be leaning so much on Paven for support. He didn’t want Rika to see him looking so helpless.

Paven glanced at him, and Attu saw the curiosity in Paven’s eyes at his sudden show of strength.

“Run ahead and prepare some hot drink and meat for Attu, daughter,” Paven said. “I can get him back to his shelter on my own.”

“Yes, Father,” Rika said, and glancing at Attu one more time, turned and darted back down the path to Attu’s shelter.

“Rika is a strong-willed stubborn girl, but she seems eager to obey my wishes today,” Paven said.

When Rika was out of sight, Attu slumped heavily against Paven again. He realized Paven was studying him, but the man said nothing. Attu concentrated on walking, feeling weaker with every step.

“Let’s hope she’s as obedient a woman to her new man,” Paven added after they had walked a spear’s throw further. He glanced at Attu, who was no longer even attempting to appear stronger than he felt.

“Rika?” Attu asked, surprised. “Surely she’s too young to take a man.”

“She’s to be joined to Banek at the next full moon,” Paven answered. “And may the trystas shine on their union. Banek will need it. She’s as obstinate as her mother was.” He looked at Attu again, his expression unreadable.

Attu said nothing as he worked out what Paven had said, his mind as slow as his body was weak.
Obviously Paven’s woman has gone Between. Why was Paven letting his daughter take a man when she was so young, especially if she was the only woman of his household now? Maybe she has a sister. I’ll have to ask Mother. Right now I can’t think about anything but sleep. Some food, too,
Attu thought, as his stomach rumbled.
Food and sleep.

Attu pretended he didn’t care about anything else as he struggled toward the shelter, even as his mind flowed back to scenes of Rika by the fire, Rika smiling, even Rika, her healer’s impassive expression, as she asked him if he was ready to face the pain of cleansing his deepest wounds. He barely knew the girl.
Why should I care if she’s going to be another man’s woman soon?

Attu shook his head slightly, so as not to hurt his back, and concentrated on the task at hand, getting back to his warm shelter and fur bed.

P
aven came by Attu’s shelter for the next several days. He sat quietly across from Attu or walked slowly with him down the rocky path where land met the ice of the Great Frozen, and Attu told of his attack, over and over again. At first, the telling made him sick. His head pounded and he felt like throwing up, especially when he got to the part where the bear had raked his back with its claws. With her claws, actually. Paven told Attu the fourth day that the bear had been a female. Attu shuddered at this thought. That meant she wasn’t the largest of her kind. Males would be even bigger.